A/N: Remember that song Sirius sings in book five? Here he goes again, this time everyone's over at Grimmauld Place, decorating the house for the holidays. Pardon my randomness. I'm in therapy for it.
-------------------------------------------------
God rest ye merry, Hippogriffs,
Let nothing you dismay!
Remember that the whiskey
Saved us all on Christmas day!
And our young Harry Potter is
A wizard now today!
Oh, tidings of owls and newts,
Owls and newts!
Oh, tidings of owls and newts!
In Hogsmeade's happy avenues
This wondrous tree was grown!
And that's where we went yesterday
This tree here for to own!
Oh what a pretty Christmas tree
To put in our old home!
Oh, tidings of Douglass Pines and Firs,
Pinetrees and Firs!
Oh, tidings of Douglass Pines and Firs!
This house we're in is mine all mine
But you can have it free!
For my old mother's painting, it
Will never let me be!
Oh would you please help get her down
So I'll be finally free!
Oh, tidings of shrieks from in the hall,
Out in the hall!
Oh, tidings of shrieks from in the hall!
Wingardium Leviosa
Will lift the star on high!
And if you want to clean the floor
Use mops and Scourgify!
But we're so happy to be here
No Cheering Charms need apply!
Oh, tidings of ribbons, knots, and bows
Boxes and bows!
Oh, tidings of ribbons and bows!
Come wizards and fair witches,
To see this beauteous sight!
No Voldemort shall bother us
On this auspicious night!
And if he does we'll send him home
With fruitcakes and a fright!
Oh, tidings of sugarplums and wine!
Plumcakes and wine!
Oh, tidings of sugarplums and wine!
A witch, an elf, and Dumbledore
Walked straight into a bar!
Where the blind old barkeeper
Demanded, "Who goes thar?"
The witch said, "Some poor travelers
Who wander from afar!"
Oh, tidings of beer and lemon drops
Beer made from hops!
Oh, tidings of beer and lemon drops.
Now deck the halls with misteltoe,
Although it's deadly fare!
If you happened to eat it
You'd die without a care!
But bezoars from your friendly goat
Will save you from Death's lair!
Oh, tidings of bezoars and goats!
Billy old goats!
Oh, tidings of bezoars and goats!
An Animagus friend of mine
Was never fond of meat!
He was afraid that some day
It would be him that we'd eat!
But I said, "why would we eat you,
A bear with smelly feet?"
Oh, tidings of Padfoot, Prongs, and Co.!
Marauders all!
Oh, tidings of MoonyWormtailPadfoot and Prongs!
When Griffindor and company
Made Hogwarts more than dream,
They were a happy family
(Or so it would well seem!)
But Salazar's rank treachery
Would end that little team!
Oh, tidings of Houses and points,
Houses and points!
Oh, tidings of Houses and points!
God rest ye merry, Hippogriffs,
Let nothing you dismay!
Remember that the whiskey
Saved us all on Christmas day!
And our young Harry Potter is
A wizard now today!
Oh, tidings of owls and newts,
Owls and newts!
Oh, tidings of ow-how-wls and newts!
--------------------------------------------------
A/N: Thank you, thank you, you've been a wonderful audience, we'll be here 'till thursday, thank you, thank you. -bows- This rendition was blatantly inspired by stale Christmas cookies, eggnog, Harry Potter, and some poor schmuck in the 1800s who had to write carols for a living. If you should like to read this carol in a 'fic with an actual plot, then please direct your attention to stage three, where my dear friend Me The Cat has written a holiday 'fic for your enjoyment. It should be up by Monday. Yes my song is in it. No it is not an epidemic. Yes there is a plot. No you don't have to sing along. Yes you will enjoy it. No I'm not going to sing anymore. Yes you can leave.