Disclaimer: I own no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is a work of fan-fiction and absolutely no infringement is intended.
AN: This story can stand alone as an established McDanno story.
"What is the matter with you?" Danny had asked Steve that very same question dozens of times over the years, always in exasperation and usually with a healthy dose of anger mixed in.
"What is the matter with you? This is not Guantanamo. You can't just hang a guy off a roof."
"What is the matter with you? I told you to wait for backup."
"What is the matter with you? Ham and pineapple are not, and never will be, acceptable pizza toppings."
"What is the matter with you? Why do you always have to be the one to put on the cape and go save the day?"
"What is the matter with you? No one in their right mind could possibly think Wham! was better than Bon Jovi."
"What is the matter with you? When there is a bomb you get the hell out of range because if something happens to me, I need you to take care of Grace."
"What is the matter with you? Why won't you believe me when I tell you that your life is just as important as anyone else's on the team?"
"What is the matter with you? Get your ass back in bed. There is no rule that says you have to swim five miles before breakfast, especially when you can get plenty of exercise right here."
"What is the matter with you? If you do something this stupid again, I'm going to take my liver back, just see if I don't."
When he uttered the question this time though, Danny's reasons were slightly different than all those other times. Sure, it was still asked with a certain level of exasperation, but that was only because he knew Steve was hiding something. He was acting strange and that was saying something because Steve being weird was certainly nothing out of the ordinary, the man did put butter in his coffee after all, but he was acting even more strangely than normal and it had been going on for days.
"I repeat, Steven, what is the matter with you? You're not sick are you? You haven't been sneaking off to go to the doctor have you?" Danny stood in the doorway to Steve's office. They'd wrapped up their latest case that morning and the paperwork was done, so his plan had been to convince Steve to head out early. The kids were at Rachel's for the next few days, so he had been looking forward to a little one-on-one time, but as soon as he saw Steve hastily hang up his phone, Danny's suspicions finally got the better of him.
Steve looked up at him with guileless eyes. "What do you mean? Nothing's the matter with me. You ready to head out? Just give me a second to shut down my computer and then we'll go."
Danny wasn't buying Steve's act. "Look, I know something is going on. Just tell me what it is." If he really believed Steve was sick, Danny would have been more worried about his partner's recent behavior, but Steve was as hyper as ever and there was no indication that he was unwell. Something was up though and Danny wanted to know what it was.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Steve insisted as he leaned back in his chair in an apparent attempt to look as if he had nothing to hide.
"Well let me enumerate just some of the reasons why I know you're lying," Danny said as he pulled away from doorframe and marched into Steve's office, only stopping once he stood directly in front of the desk. He held up his right index finger. "One, you partnered me with Lou on Tuesday and sent me out with Jerry of all people yesterday." A second finger went up, "Two, on more than one occasion recently I've caught you whispering to someone on the phone only for you to hang up as soon as you notice me nearby." A third finger joined the other two, "Three, you have disappeared twice this week with no explanation whatsoever." Thumb tucked, Danny waggled the remaining fingers of his right hand in the air. "Four, you keep looking at me with aneurysm face." Danny's thumb came out and he pushed his hand forward like he was trying to stop traffic. "And five, every time I ask what's going on you change the subject." Danny dropped in hand and crossed his arms over his chest. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were having an affair. However, I happen to know you well enough to know you'd never cheat, so that can't be it, but something is definitely up."
"I think you're being paranoid, buddy." Steve shook his head as if he felt sorry for him and he reached forward to shut down his computer.
"Paranoid. You think I'm being paranoid?"
"Yeah, either that, or you've decided I'm hiding something, so you've been looking for behavior that supports that belief and ignoring everything else. It's called confirmation bias," Steve explained as if Danny was a dull-witted child.
"Confirmation bias? Really? You're saying your behavior hasn't been suspicious at all, I only think it has been because of confirmation bias. Seriously?"
"That's right. Or, maybe you're just paranoid, like I said."
"Okay, now I know you're hiding something," Danny threw up his hands in surrender. "But, God help me, I trust you, so if you promise me that whatever it is doesn't have the potential of getting you killed, then I'll let it go ... for now."
"I promise I'm not hiding anything that has the potential of getting me killed. How could I be since I'm not hiding anything at all?"
"Fine," Danny huffed. "I'll drop it ... for now."
"Great." Steve hopped up from his chair. "Let's go home."
H50*H50*H50*H50*H50*H50*H50*H50
Danny was vaguely aware of Steve crawling out of bed early Saturday morning, thinking he was simply going for his usual masochistic sunrise swim, he rolled over and went back to sleep. Sometime later he was awakened by Steve roughly shaking his shoulder and calling his name.
"What is the matter with you?" Danny grumbled. "You know the rule about waking me up on our day off."
"Come on, Danny, get up, I made breakfast." Through the one eye he had open, Danny saw Steve motion towards the doors to the upstairs lanai. "Malasadas, fresh fruit, crispy bacon, and hot coffee. Come on, buddy, it's 9:00, come have breakfast with me. Please."
Danny rolled over on his back and threw one arm above his head. "What's the occasion? It's not my birthday, it's not the anniversary of us getting together, it's not even the anniversary of you shanghaiing me into becoming your partner, so what is it?"
"No occasion, I just thought I'd do something nice, that's all."
"Hmmm, I don't believe you, but I'm not one to turn down malasadas, so give me two minutes to freshen up and I'll be right out."
Steve leaned down and gave him a kiss and when he pulled back he smiled and said, "I'm sure it will be closer to ten, but that's okay, I've already had my first cup of coffee, so I can wait."
Nine minutes later, Danny walked out onto the lanai. He had pulled on a pair sleep pants and a t-shirt and had tamed his bed hair into a semblance of its usual style. Steve handed him a cup of coffee as he sat down beside him on the wicker love seat they had placed out there recently so they could cuddle up next to each other instead of sitting in separate chairs. Once he was settled, Steve handed him a plate and they ate in companionable silence, thighs pressed together and arms brushing occasionally as they moved.
Once Danny had finished his first cup of coffee, as well as a couple of malasadas and at least three slices of bacon, he finally felt awake enough to speak. "This is really nice, babe. Thank you." He squeezed Steve's thigh and leaned in and gave him a long, slow kiss, before pulling away and taking another sip of coffee. "I still think you're up to something, but if I get a breakfast like this out of it, I'm not going to complain."
Before Steve could answer, his cellphone buzzed indicating he'd received a text. Steve immediately grabbed the phone from the small wicker coffee table and opened the message.
"Please tell me it's not the governor telling us we have a case."
"The governor doesn't text, Danny." Steve looked down at the message, "It's Kamekona. He says, and I quote, 'tell Jersey, to be on the lookout bruddah cuz I'm about to cruise by your domicile in my chopper.'"
"Why would I need to be on the lookout?" Just then Danny heard the distant sound of a helicopter. Curious, he got up and went to the railing to see if he could spot what the big man was up to. Just then he saw the helo in the distance flying towards them on a path that hugged the shoreline. As it got closer, the helicopter swung farther out over the water and Danny realized it was flying a banner. Kamekona must have come up with a new advertising campaign. It wasn't until the chopper was flying right across from them that Danny was able to read the banner: Marry me, Danno! What the hell? He glanced back at Steve only to find him on one knee, looking up at him with his heart in his eyes.
"Steven, you big goof, did you just order me to marry you via aerial advertising? Seriously, what is the matter with you?" Danny could actually feel how big his grin was, so he knew Steve would be under no misapprehension about his feelings on the matter.
"Yeah, well, I made a tactical decision regarding the phrasing and punctuation. If I'd actually asked you to marry me, you might have said no."
"Good point. I guess we're engaged then. Just don't think I'll follow all your orders once we're married."
Steve lunged to his feet so quickly that Danny barely had time to brace himself before he was caught up in Steve's embrace and then his kiss. All the love they felt for each other was relayed in that one kiss and when they finally broke apart they were both grinning. They stood there with their arms wrapped loosely around each other for several long moments each lost in the other's eyes.
"So, this is what you've been up to all week, huh?" Danny asked. Romantic gestures aside, he had to admit that he took a little satisfaction in the fact that his suspicions that Steve was hiding something were well founded.
"Proposals take a lot of planning, you know," Steve replied with a twinkle in his eyes.
"I can see that." He reached up and pulled Steve down for another kiss.
"Danny?"
"Yes, Steve?"
"I love you and I'm really glad we're getting married. To show you how much, I even got us tickets to see Bon Jovi in Sydney next month as an engagement present."
"Bon Jovi tickets? You really do love me. I love you, too Steve, so much. I never thought I'd get married again, never thought I'd want to, but everything is different with you. This just feels right and believe me, I find that amazing."
"I'm glad and I'm glad we found each other even if it did take us way too long to figure everything out." When Steve would have leaned down for another kiss, Danny stopped him with a hand on his chest.
"This was all very romantic and you obviously put a lot of thought into making it perfect. I, for one, think you should be justly rewarded. What do you say we go inside and consummate this engagement?"
"I'd say I love it when a plan comes together."
"Oh, my god, there will be no A-Team quotes as part of your wedding vows. Promise me, Steven."
Steve just smiled and said, "We'll see," before he took Danny by the arm and led him into their bedroom. Steve did such a good job making Danny forget everything but his name that it wasn't until their wedding rehearsal that he remembered that he'd practically dared Steve to use a quote from a goofy '80s TV show as part of his wedding vows. How was this his life? Hmmm, maybe he was just lucky.
The End.
AN: I've decided to embrace the fluff. Thanks so much indulging me by reading my story.