Me: What if I don't put in a disclaimer
Lawyer: ... nothing
Me:So why must I put one in
Lawyer: you might get sued
Me: but I thought you said nothing would happen
Lawyer: ...Law is a delicate rose...
Me: So I just tell them I don't own Harry Potter?
Lawyer: Yes
Me: How does one go about owning Harry Potter?
Lawyer: oh MY GOD
Dear Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon,
I am sorry that we have not had contact for a while. My wife, Ginny, was wondering if perhaps she and I could visit sometime. She would like to meet you. Please mail back with a good time as soon as possible
Harry
--
Next Friday, 3 pm, the normal way.
Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon
--
"I feel for you, mate," said Ron, who seemed to be holding back a smirk under his tea cup. "I mean, going back there after so many years?"
"Yeah, I don't fancy explaining seven years of my life to them," said Harry, slinking low in his chair. He was in Ron and Hermione's kitchen in the countryside house. Hermione made a 'tsk'ing noise from the stove, where she was poking the fire beneath a kettle with her wand.
"Just tell us, Hermione, would you?" asked Ron impatiently.
"Well, you should've invited your aunt and uncle to the wedding!" Hermione burst. "It's bad enough that you haven't kept in touch with them! They don't even know about James, or that they have another great nephew on the way. And you didn't write to them when you were married, did you?" Harry shifted guiltily in his seat. It was true- he had not contacted them since they departed seven years ago.
Luckily, this scene was interrupted by the wail of an infant. "That'll be Rose," sighed Ron, "Can you get her, Hermione?"
"I got her last time and the time before, it's your turn, Ron!"
"Come on, Hermione, I just got home from work…"
"See you," said Harry, turning on the spot towards home.
"You're not getting out of it that easily," said Ginny, smirking. Harry had just said that he was too sick to go to his aunt and uncle, faking a coughing fit. He desperately wished he had some Puking Pastilles, or maybe a Fainting Fancy.
"Ginny, come on," said Harry, flopping his arm on her pregnant stomach. "We can still get out of it. I mean, it's really not necessary, not reall-"
"Of course it's necessary!" Ginny sat up, ignoring Harry's shushes that James might wake. "They raised you! Not well, of course, but they're James' great uncle and aunt, and my aunt and uncle in-law."
"Is there even such a thing?" Harry muttered. Ginny ignored this also.
"They're family. Not good family, but family. Plus, it'll give me a chance to interact with Muggles!" Ginny brightened. She had luckily not inherited her father's awkwardness with all things non magical, but as a pure-blood wizard, had limited experience with muggles.
"Fine," said Harry, inwardly groaning, "just for you." Ginny warmly kissed him. Really, it was almost worth it just for that.
It seemed like no time had passed at all before Harry and Ginny had loaded James in their borrowed car and set off to Privet Drive, Little Whining. Harry had grumbled about driving until Ginny said, "Well, muggles drive, don't they? Anyway, it'll be putting that driving license to use, Harry!"
So off they drove, finally pulling up besides the plainest house on a plain street. The house that Harry had loathed as a teenager seemed smaller now, maybe less horrifying. Harry could see Aunt Petunia's eyes flash beneath the blinds, nervously awaiting his arrival.
Harry stalled in the car for as long as possible before Ginny had eased herself and James out of the car, then attempted to force Harry out also. Memories of the prudishly kept front lawn echoed through Harry's mind as he and Ginny, James in arm, dawdled up to the front door. The moment Harry wrung the bell, the door opened almost simultaneously.
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