After the Fire

It was six o'clock in the morning when Lisa Cuddy woke up and found herself naked in Greg House's bed, the reality of what had happened between them last night, crashing down upon her like a ton of bricks while outside his bedroom window the birds sang their serenade to the rising sun, oblivious to the capsizing of her world.

Placing her arm against her forehead, Cuddy turned her head, looking over at House who was resting on his side facing her, remaining fast asleep beside her.

She wondered if he had he woken up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep and finding himself staring over at her just like she was doing to him now, her eyes tracing the stubble on his face before they left him and headed for the ceiling.

It was a mistake. A physical act born out the hurt and turmoil that had occurred last night between them. A reaction, albeit the wrong one in response to the struggle that had occurred on his bathroom floor.

She should have known better though, should have stopped it before it started, but it had all happened so quickly.

One minute they were on his couch together as she was tried to comfort him while the sweat beaded his weary brow. The next she had found him crawling towards the bottle of pills on the bathroom floor and in a knee jerk reaction, scrambled on her hands and knees to prevent him from reaching them.

She never though it would get so ugly, so vicious, so raw. Never thought he would be so strong while detoxing off of the vicodin, but within a matter of seconds he had her pinned underneath him, screaming at her in a voice filled with rage to give him the pills while she held them in the tight fist of her left hand as if her life depended on it.

He had said horrible things to her, telling her that she should be home taking care of the baby she was ignoring instead trying to alleviate herself from the guilt she stilled cared over his infarct. Telling her that being a controlling bitch in his life wasn't going to work this time as he pressed all of his weight against her until she was fighting to fill her lungs with air.

And then it happened. She snapped, screaming at him and telling him everything that he needed to hear at the moment.

Telling him he was a selfish son of a bitch. Telling him how much of coward he was when facing his own demons and that whatever guilt she may have felt about his leg died long ago along when she realized he would be a miserable prick no matter how often life would try and be good to him afterwards.

She had barely gotten the words out when his lips crashed down upon hers, his tongue being forced into her mouth as she tried to breathe, crying out into his mouth in protest and gasping for air when he finally released her from the rough kiss only to move his mouth to her neck.

She told him to stop and struggled against his arms that were pinning her wrists to floor as well as his body pressing her spine into the cold tile as his legs pushed her thighs apart.

Her breathing quickly turning into wheezing, her head feeling dizzy and the room spinning as her heart pounded fiercely inside her chest.

Hearing her struggling to breathe, House had shifted his weight off her chest, releasing her wrists as he pushed himself up onto the palms of his hands while staring down at her.

She had one …maybe two seconds in that moment where she could have ended it. Avoiding waking up in his bed this morning whith the scent of his skin and the feel of him inside of her still lingering on her body, but instead she had looked up at him without speaking a word, seeing in his eyes the memory of the lover he once had been to her before he lowered his lips down to her own again as one of his hands moved to the side of her neck while the other traveled to her hip.

It had all come undone then, the barbed wire and fencing she had put up over the years after they had made love back in Michigan for both the first and last time before he left for bigger and better things the next day. The young man filled with ambition and arrogance who had once stolen her heart out from under her while she was an undergrad, in Ann Arbor still alive within him, somehow surviving beneath all the pain. Kissing her now with the embers of what they had once achieved so long ago as he removed her shirt and tossed it aside, breathing into the side of her cheek as her hands in turn, pulled his shirt free from his body.

And so on the tiled floor of his bathroom, where the steady hum of the fluorescent light above them penetrated through the rustling noises of more clothes being removed along with gasps of desire as they raced back to where they had once found the truth in each other, House had entered inside of her with the ache of a lost soul trying to find his way back to where he was ruler of his world instead of being imprisoned by it. Needing her to show him how real it could all be as her hips bucked against his while her arms pulled him closer to her than anyone would ever get, completely exposed and vulnerable to him much more so than just physically, kissing the side of his cheek as he came inside of her.

For a moment, all she could do was stare up at the ceiling when it was over much like she was doing now. Listening to the sounds of their combined heavy breathing while faced with the knowledge that she had climaxed hard and fast just shortly before he did, that the act between them had been mutual in every sense of the word. Holding her breath when he had pushed himself up off of her, with one of his hands clamping down on the vanity beside them to steady himself while the other was offered to her.

She hadn't expected that… nor the fact that he kept hold of her hand while leading her into his bedroom with a more pronounced limp, finally letting go of it in order to turn the sheets down as she stood beside him. Her eyes widening when he motioned for her to climb on top of the mattress.

"House…I." She had started to say before he moved his hand up to her jaw.

His thumb pressed against her lips to silence her while his free hand reached out and took hold of her hip guiding her into the center of the bed as he quickly followed after her, the cool cotton sheets being pulled up around them by his hand before he drew her into the center of his chest, not saying a word to her as his arms held her close to the beating sound of his heart where in the midst of the spinning thoughts inside her exhausted mind she fell deeply into a dream where the young man in Michigan with piercing blue eyes first smiled at her on a cool autumn day.

Looking over at House again as the memory inside of her head had played its last note; Cuddy contemplated on just how in the hell she was going to turn this all around to where it needed to be without wounding them both anymore in the process.

She couldn't just leave. Couldn't just dress silently and sneak out his door and into the early morning light like she had back in Michigan all those years ago. House was on the edge of breakdown, another fact that made her close her eyes and shake her head in disbelief that she had let herself surrender to the acts of desperate man reaching out for comfort in the one way he knew would prove to him beyond a shadow of doubt just how deep her feelings ran for him, ready to take from her what he could in that moment without thinking of the consequences that would come of it.

Carefully removing the sheet from her body, Cuddy slowly got up out of the bed with her eyes remained fixed on House, making sure she had not awakened him before she silently walked into the bathroom.

After closing the door, she leaned back against it, breathing a sigh of relief before looking down at the floor where her clothes where scattered among his, bending down to separate them while the memory of the cold tile ran up her back.

Within a few minutes she was dressed, pushing aside a stray lock of her dark hair while gazing at herself in his bathroom mirror.

She would call Wilson and tell him it was his turn to baby-sit House no matter how painful it may be for him in light of the fact that he was still dealing with the anniversary of Amber's death, knowing it was her sanity as much as House's that depended upon Wilson's intervention before the tangled web of desire, pain and history would trap them both. Then she would wake House just before Wilson got here and tell him of her decision before leaving him with a friend who was not in danger of losing himself inside the piercing blue eyes of an ex-lover who she had measured other man against for years.

Smoothing out the wrinkles in her suit jacket before opening up the bathroom door, Cuddy took in deep breath, assuring herself that her plan would succeed in save them both from anymore pain before being stunned at the sight of House standing inside his bedroom, fully dressed and reaching for his cane.

"What….what are you doing?" She questioned walking into the room.

"I'm getting ready to go to work." House answered dryly before limping out of the bedroom.

"You can't go to work. You can barely function now as it is." Cuddy argued walking after him as House made his way into the living room.

He spun around to face her, his eyes locking onto her face.

"I think last night proved I can indeed function very well under the pressure of constant nagging." House told her coolly. "And after some much needed endorphins for the pain in my leg as well as a good nights sleep I feel better than ever." He added watching her face remain void of emotion while her eyes told of what a bastard he could really be.

"Fine." Cuddy agreed with a nod. "But Foreman is still going to remain in charge of your latest patient and… if I hear from him or any member of your team about any type of behavior from you that is going to jeopardize the patient, I'm putting you on suspension until you get some medical help for whatever condition you may be suffering from." She concluded before stepped past him towards the door.

"Cuddy." House said from behind her in a voice that was low and unnerving to her as he made his way to the door as well.

"Just don't be late for work today House." Cuddy responded, reaching for the doorknob and opening up it up.

She was too damn close to getting away from this experience unscathed for him to try and pull her back into it.

"Lisa…stop." House then said in a whisper, placing his hand on her arm and turning her around as she attempted to leave.

Cuddy looked up at him wiht rage, feeling the sting in her heart as he called her by her first name.

"Don't you dare try and play games with me you son of bitch." She warned him with a hushed tone as her eyes filled with a fire. Trying to hold the burning anger she was feeling inside of her at bay for now.

"I'm not doing anything to you don't want me to do….just like last night." House replied back to her, refusing to let the moment die between them.

Cuddy exhaled sharply in disgust. "Why couldn't you just let me leave instead of cruelly reminding of something I'd rather forget?" She questioned, a crease of frustration now formed between her brows as she glared up at him.

This time it was House who let out a sharp breath of disgust.

"The only reason you want to forget about what happened between us last night is because it's the only thing that blatantly reminds you why you continue to put up with me year after year when anyone else would have tossed me out on my ass long ago." House challenged in a steely voice, taking a step closer to her.

Cuddy softened her expression, readying herself to place the card on the table that would send House back to where he needed to be when it came to his feelings for her that he guarded with the ferociousness of lion.

"There's only one reason why you're saying these things to me…. and that's because you don't want me to go. You want me to stay here with you because the truth is you can't see yourself with out me." She told him in a whisper that was honed with a serrated edge, meant to tear at his defenses swiftly, thereby sending him scrambling with sarcasm to put them together again.

When he didn't respond….continuing to stare down at her instead, Cuddy moved the blade down closer to the bone.

"You know House from the look on your face right now. I think you wanna kiss me? Don't you?" She said in voice so soft it was sure to set of the alarms inside of him.

Keeping the eye contact between them, House opened his mouth.

"I always want to kiss you." He stated in a whisper that was earth shattering to both their worlds because it was filled with honesty.

Refusing to believe him, Cuddy leaned forward, brushing her lips against his and getting ready for him to pull back from her, gasping in surprise when instead…. he drew her closer by wrapping on of his arms around waist while the other slammed the door shut behind them.

Once again, much like last night…a cry escaped her mouth and traveled into his as the world they shared suffered the wrath of another tsunami crashing into it as she tore the suit jacket off of his body, hearing him groan out loudly when she did so as their lips parted.

"This isn't over between us. Understand?" House told her in harsh tone of defiance as he lowered his hand to the button of her suit jacket, flipping it open and tugging the garment free from her body before pulling her close to him again.

"It's never been over between us." Cuddy confessed breathlessly to him just before his lips came crashing down upon her again as his hands started to undress her once more.

Spinning …she was spinning again out of control as his kisses, hot with fire burned her tongue, her body being pressed up against the closet door of his apartment in flash while House pushed his pelvis against hers before turning her around towards his bedroom.

After the fire the fire still burns.

The heart grows older but never ever learns.

The memories smolder and the soul always yearns.

After the fire…….the fire still burns.