Let's Go Kite Flying
"What a windy day," Piotr commented as he entered the park. "Do you think it is too much?"
"Naw, the windier the better," Remy said walking next to him. "As long as it stays constant and in one general direction things should go just fine.
"Oh boy!" Pyro cheered skipping alongside his teammates. He and Piotr were wearing civilian clothes while Remy wore his typical trench coat. "I love kite flying! And we're gonna beat everyone else in the contest. Good thing we've got an experienced kite maker with us!"
"What can I say? It's a gift," Remy smirked. "Putting together all those light-weight sticks and fabrics is a lot easier than assembling some of the thieves' tools I've used. It's been a hobby of mine ever since I was young and toyed with making kites out of spare staff parts, lock picks and 'borrowed' silk stockings."
"Yes, but did you have to bring so many?" Piotr asked as he carried two large duffle bags filled with kite parts and other supplies.
"Don't blame me. It's Pyro's monstrosity that's taking up most of the room," Remy protested and jerked a thumb at Pyro. "What kind of kite is in there anyway? I'll be amazed if it even makes it off the ground."
"Hey, you may complain now but just wait until my kite blows away the competition," Pyro huffed. "They'll be driven from the sky! Hahahahaha!"
"Sure, whatever," Remy rolled his eyes.
"Do you think Magneto will be angry that we are going out in public?" Piotr asked.
"Are you kidding? After he found the pictures we took of him as a Play-Doh mermaid he practiced chased us out the door," Remy said. "If he knew about the ones showing him as a hula dancer, a flamingo and a fire hydrant he really would have lost it."
"By the way, did you manage to sell some of the pictures to Xavier?" Pyro asked.
"Not yet. He hasn't responded or anything," Remy shrugged. "Maybe if I sent him a sample or two…"
"Good idea! Maybe you should also offer Wolverine some of the pictures we took of Sabes eating those cookies and tell him what they're made of!" Pyro laughed.
"But what if Sabertooth finds out what he has been eating? Won't he get mad?" Piotr asked.
"Oh he already knows. And after he found out he asked me where he could get more Play-Doh so he could make his own," Pyro grinned.
"Well at least there's one thing Sabes might be able to cook without blowing up the kitchen," Remy quipped. "Then again, maybe not."
The Acolytes soon arrived at a small rise in the middle of the park overlooking a large clearing. A few dozen people were gathered in the clearing busying themselves with many bright, multicolored kites, several of which were already in the air. "Looks like the contest is underway," Remy noted.
"Alright!" Pyro grinned and took one of the duffle bags from Piotr. He opened it and spilled its contents onto the ground. "Just give me a minute to assemble this baby and then look out world! Ha ha ha! Hmmm, now how does this go together again?"
"Okay," Remy blinked at the pile of spars, rolls of nylon and other miscellaneous stuff Pyro haphazardly tried to put together. "Man, this thing is gonna be huge. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"What? Oh yeah. Don't worry about me. It'll be up there in a jiff," Pyro waved and picked up another spar. "Now where does this piece go?"
"Oh boy. We'll catch you later," Remy motioned for Piotr to follow him down to the edge of the clearing while leaving Pyro to assemble his kite. They quickly found a spot next to a small tree and carefully unloaded the other duffle bag.
"Ah, here we go," Remy smiled and held up a sleek, sturdy shield kite. "Want to fly this one?"
"Yes, thank you," Piotr nodded and accepted the kite with its spool of string.
"Need help getting it into the air?" Remy asked.
"I do not think so. With this wind it should be easy enough," Piotr declined as another strong gust blew by. "It has been a long time since I have flown a kite. I used to try and make them for my sister but I was not very good and they soon fell apart. But she did not care and when they did stay up we had a very nice time."
"Well, go have fun and make up for lost time," Remy waved and sat down under the tree while closing up the duffle bag.
"Aren't you going to join the contest?" Piotr asked.
"I don't think so," Remy replied leaning back. "Let's just say I'm better at making kites than flying them."
"Okay. See you later," Piotr nodded and moved off to find a place to launch his kite.
"Besides, there's other things to watch here than kites," Remy grinned as he looked at several young women tending to kite strings. Maybe I'll go over and offer a little professional advice…
"Oh great. What are you doing here?" a familiar voice caught his attention.
"Huh?" Remy turned to find an annoyed Rogue holding a kite standing next to him. "Why hello chérie. Nice to see you again."
"What are you doing here?" Rogue repeated angrily. "Planning to blow up the park?"
"You wound me chérie," Remy held a hand over his heart. "Like I'd ever do something so uncouth."
"Yeah, refined destruction is more your style," Rogue mocked. "So what is it? Is Magneto planning something here at the park? Try and capture a dozen people for ransom or something?"
"Of course not," Remy replied smoothly. "Just me and the guys out enjoying a fine day at the park. Minus the overgrown Furball of course."
"Sure, you're just here to watch the kite flying contest," Rogue said sarcastically.
"Actually they're here to enter the contest," Remy smirked. "But I think watching certain contestants is far more entertaining than watching what they're flying."
"Get lost creep," Rogue turned and started to walk away. "Like anyone would willingly want to be around you.
"I see that's a sled kite you got there," Remy called after her. "You might want to adjust the wings inward a little. Help get a little more control in this wind."
"What?" Rogue turned back toward him. "Like you're a big kite design expert or something?"
"Well, I don't mind showing off my skills," Remy grinned charmingly. "Especially to such a lovely femme as yourself."
"Like you have any skills worth showing off," Rogue rolled her eyes.
"Hey Rogue!" Jamie came running up holding a large kite. "Can you help me with this? I can't get it to stay in the air."
"Not now Jamie," Rogue said.
"Please?" Jamie begged. "Sam and Amara already have their kites up and Kurt's off flying his kite with his girlfriend."
"If you're having kite trouble, I'd be happy to lend you some professional assistance," Remy offered.
"Really?" Jamie asked. "Great!"
"I don't think that's a good idea Jamie," Rogue tried to intervene.
"What? Worried I'll try something under your watchful eyes?" Remy smirked. "Or maybe you're afraid that I'll actually fix the problem?"
"Please Rogue?" Jamie looked at her with big eyes.
"Oh alright," Rogue gave in. "Just stop looking at me like that."
"Why? He seems to know how to get on your good side," Remy grinned and motioned to Jamie. "Let's see what we got here."
"Thanks mister," Jamie smiled and handed over his kite.
"The name's Remy or Gambit, not mister. I'm not that old," Remy smiled back and looked over the kite. "Hmmm. Ah, the rear fabric is too lose. If it flops around like that it'll disrupt the airflow and the kite will end up crashing every time. You get this from a retail store kid?"
"Yeah," Jamie shrugged.
"Waste of money. They don't have a clue about real kite design," Remy said adjusting the kite. "There, that should fix it. I also removed this little head piece. Too heavy to be at the top of the kite. And just incase this cheap fabric rips in this wind," Remy reached into the duffle bag and pulled out a delta kite. "Take this one for a backup. The silk covering is much stronger."
"Wow!" Jamie's eyes grew wide as he accepted the kite. "This is great! Wait till I show the others! Thanks Mister Remy!" He ran off holding the two kites with a big smile on his face.
"There, that wasn't so bad now was it?" Remy turned toward Rogue with a triumphant grin.
"Okay, so you know something about kites," Rogue admitted while trying not to appear too impressed. "You did make him happy, so thanks." She turned to leave.
"Wait a moment chérie," Remy called out. "We have to discuss my fee."
"Fee?" Rogue turned around angrily. "You didn't saying about a fee!"
"I said I'd lend you my skills," Remy pointed out. "That implies some sort of compensation in return."
"I knew it! I knew you were up to something!" Rogue snapped.
"Hey, hey!" Remy held up his hands. "I'm not talking about money or anything. Just a small, humble request."
"What?" Rogue glared at him.
"I merely ask for the presence of your company while you're here," Remy grinned.
"What?!" Rogue balked.
"Come on chérie. Isn't it worth the look on that young kid's face and the priceless moments of happiness he'll have from flying his kites?" Remy smiled innocently.
"Grrr," Rogue grunted. "Alright, fine! But just for Jamie's sake. And you'd better not try anything funny or else!"
"Don't worry chérie," Remy smiled getting up. "I promise to be a perfect gentleman."
"We'll see," Rogue muttered. "Come on. Grab your kite and let's go find someplace to fly.
"My kite?" Remy blinked.
"Yeah, your kite," Rogue gave him a look. "What, you think I'm just going to let you stand next to me doing nothing?"
"Well…I…um," Remy fumbled for an explanation.
"Or maybe you're all talk and no action," Rogue taunted him. "Afraid of showing off your 'skills' at kite flying."
"What? Of course not," Remy scoffed and pulled out a kite from the duffle bag. He held it up while trying to appear confident. "After all, it is good day to fly."
Rogue rolled her eyes as they went off and found a clear space to launch their kites. "Allow me chérie," Remy winked as he took her kite. He walked off for a short distance then turned towards her. "Ready?"
"Yeah, ready," Rogue sighed.
"Liftoff," Remy let the kite loose and it started to slowly rise into the air.
"Hmmm," Rogue frowned as she tried to control the kite.
"Don't fight it chérie. Give it some string a little at a time," Remy suggested as he walked back next to her. He held his own kite in one hand and the spool in the other. "Now watch a master at work." With a flick of the wrist he sent the kite aloft and quickly had it gain altitude.
"It's just luck," Rogue grunted while struggling with her kite.
"Nothing lucky about it chérie…AAACCCKKK!" Remy yelped as the kite circled and quickly wrapped its string around his neck several times.
"Having problems Gambit?" Rogue grinned as she watched Remy stagger around while being choked by his kite.
"Can't…breathe…" Remy gasped as he desperately tried to stop from being strangled. He quickly charged part of the string, causing it the break and the kite to fly off into the air.
"You're right. Watching the contestants is more fun than watching the kites," Rogue grinned.
"Gaaahhh," Remy wheezed as he greedily gulped in air. "That…that was just…a little accident. Slight trick of the wind." Remy tried to compose himself. "Could happen to anybody."
"Sure," Rogue drawled as she let out more string.
Remy left and quickly returned with another kite. "Now, watch this." He launched it and soon had the kite soaring overhead. "See? I told you I had skills…AAAHHHHHH!" he yelled as the kite dipped and went into a dive headed straight for him. He barely managed to duck as it zoomed past his head.
"Yeah, skills at avoiding death by kite," Rogue quipped.
"What the heck is going on here…AAARRRGGGHHH!" Remy shouted as the kite dive-bombed him again.
"Yep, you read about it in the news all the time," Rogue laughed while watching Remy run around and frantically avoid being hit by his kite. "How many people are killed by kites each year."
"I fail to see what's so funny about this…YEOOOWWW!" Remy screamed as the kite nailed him in the behind.
"Gee, guess you're gonna have trouble sitting for a while," Rogue smirked as Remy pulled off the remains of the kite and tossed it aside.
"Ha ha, very amusing" Remy said sarcastically rubbing his new sore spot. "Well, it's said women like a man who can make 'em laugh."
"I'd be more impressed by a man who can go without being hurt by his kite for more than five minutes," Rogue shot back. "Guess that counts you out."
"We'll see about that," Remy muttered as he went and got another kite. He quickly launched and got it into the air. "There. Now this one won't be any problem."
"Too bad. I wanted to see how it would top the others in trying to kill you," Rogue quipped.
"Sorry to disappoint," Remy smirked. "But I'm sure I could find a way to make it up to you…YAHHHHHH!" Remy yelled as the kite yanked him off his feet and started to drag him across the park.
"Goodie! Another fun kite show," Rogue grinned as she watched Remy being towed behind the kite while shouting for help.
CRASH!
"Oooh! Right into the rose bushes!" Rogue smiled.
"OW! OW! OW! YEOOOWWW! THAT HURTS!" Remy yelped as several people ran out of the way. "OW! YOU STUPID STRING! LEGGO MY WRIST! OW! OW! OW!"
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG-A-LANG-A-LANG!
"And some trash cans," Rogue added.
"PTEEEWIE! OH MAN THIS IS DISGUSTING! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME! AAARRRGGGHHHH!"
SMASH!
"Well, the park has too many wooden benches anyway," Rogue said.
"AAAHHHHHH! SPLINTERS! SPINTERS EVERYWHERE! ONE WENT UP MY NOSE! OWIE!"
WHAM!
"Now that's gotta hurt," Rogue winced. "At least the base of that statue was marble and not steel."
PA-LOOOOSSSHHH!
"And it's a perfect belly-flop into the pond," Rogue finished and walked over to see Remy's limp form bobbing in the water. She went and grabbed the kite which had gotten caught in a nearby tree. She pulled on the string and slowly tugged Remy back to the shore.
"Ohhh," Remy moaned as he lay in sprawled out on the ground. "My head…my back…my arm…pain…pain…lots of pain…"
"I gotta admit Gambit," Rogue grinned as Remy took out his staff used it to slowly get to his feet. "You do know how to make kite flying entertaining."
"So glad you approve," Remy winced as they began to make their way back toward the clearing. "Do me a favor? See if you can spot my brain. I think it got knocked out somewhere along the way."
"I can't find what never existed," Rogue quipped.
"Ha ha. You are just full of jokes today," Remy groaned.
"Don't let it go to your head," Rogue warned. "And you'd better not tell anyone about me being with you or I'll everyone at the mansion about your little 'accidents' today."
"Deal," Remy moaned. "Ohhh, I think I dislocated my shoulder."
SWOOOOOOSSSHHH!
"Huh?" Rogue blinked and looked up just as something flew by overhead. "What in the world?"
"Oh no," Remy groaned as he looked up as well. "I should have known!"
"WAHOOOOOO!" Pyro laughed maniacally as he flew through the air in a red and yellow hang glider. "GET READY FOR A KITE FIGHT MATES! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"Friend of yours?" Rogue asked.
"Pyro," Remy moaned as the glider headed toward a cluster of kites. "At least no one will recognize him with that helmet and goggles he's wearing."
"What kind of weirdo flies a hang glider in a kite contest?" Rogue asked in shock.
WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!
"The same weirdo who attaches a couple of mini flamethrowers to his hang glider," Remy groaned as Pyro shot out two bursts and set a dozen kites on fire. "It's creative I gotta admit."
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" People screamed as they ran around in panic. Fortunately the kites that had been caught in the blasts burned to ashes before they touched the ground.
"YEAH! YEAH!" Pyro cackled insanely as he flew around shooting out flames and roasting a few more kites. "DIE YOU KNAVES OF KITES! DIE!"
"Great. Now I gotta go try and stop that lunatic before he burns the park down," Rogue said before giving Remy a look. "Of course he's you're teammate. You get him to stop."
"I'll do my best," Remy managed a slight grin. "Maybe we can do this again sometime, hmmm chérie?"
"In your dreams, Gambit," Rogue rolled her eyes at him as she left.
"You have no idea," Remy sighed as he limped away.
"Remy!" Piotr came running up to him. "Do you see Pyro? I can not believe what he is doing. We have to get him down somehow and…what happened to you?" he blinked at Remy's wet, bruised and cut up figure.
"I'll explain later," Remy coughed. "Right now we gotta get Pyro and get outta here before the cops show up. We could try and somehow put some holes in his glider. Or find a way to tangle him up with string. Or lasso his leg and just haul him down here."
"HAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE KITE MASTER! I AM THE WINGED WONDER! I AM…uh oh."
CRASH!
"Or we could just have him crash into a tree," Remy blinked. "That works too."
"Oh dear," Piotr ran over to the tree and looked up into the branches. "Pyro are you okay?"
"Uhhh," Pyro blinked as he lay draped over a branch, his glider in pieces around him. "Why yes, Vernon. I'd love some chocolate chip waffles," he warbled right before he fell out off the tree. Piotr quickly moved and caught him before he hit the ground.
"Well I'd say the contest ended due to circumstances behind anyone's control," Remy said walking up to them with the duffle bag containing his remaining kites. "And with Pyro that's saying a lot."
"Too bad we have to leave so soon," Piotr sighed throwing Pyro over his shoulder. He also grabbed the flamethrowers that had somehow survived the crashed and were laying on the ground. "I was having fun."
"Ohhh," Pyro moaned as the Acolytes made their way out of the park. "Hey, I saw that shelia that makes fire from up there. Is she still here? Did she see me? Are there any waffles left?"
"Don't worry homme," Remy managed to grin. "We still have to trash a building or something before we go back to the base. Gotta maintain our record and all."
"Oh, go fly a kite," Piotr sighed.
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.