Supposed to be Forever
DelightfulSmiles
Author's note: Hello! Well I shall be updating 'Ice and Sugar' soon enough, but I got the idea for this one-shot listening to 'Just a Dream' by Carrie Underwood. I don't believe this couple gets enough love from the fans, even though it is a canon couple. Anyhoo it really is a good song, love it. Please enjoy like always and please R&R. ASUMA AND KURENAI FOREVER!
I do not own Naruto or 'Just a Dream'. Nor do I owe the wedding vows; I found those from the site 'My Wedding Vows' (I don't know what it's like to be in love so sorry for being so uncreative!)
I sat there leaning against the wooden panelling of our bedroom, my bedroom, I looked around the area – the place I once found so safe and warm, and so filled with the feeling of the 'us' that used to exist. One wall being covered with photos of our teams, of us, small snippets of our lives; both apart and together.
I closed my eyes not wanting the now familiar pain to shoot through my being, this feeling I've felt since he was so brutally taken from me, this feeling that I was sure to carry around for the rest of my life.
A life that seemed so remote and scary.
Slowly I walked over to our wedding bed and sat down softly, not wanting to disturb the sheets and yet my weight caused the entire bed to shift; and once more his presence was slowly fading from this room, from our home. One that we used to have a chance to make our own, to create a family and live happily.
My eyes hovered over to the wall of photos once more and it slowly found the picture they were searching for; the capturing of the memory of the happiest day of our lives.
Happiness
I stood nervously inside the dressing room holding a small cup of sake in one hand, my heart beating so rapidly knowing that once I stepped out the door it would be the start of my new life with the man of my dreams
A soft smile made its way onto my face at the thought of him, from the very beginning we clicked; all the times we were together just talking to each other and slowly allowing our feelings grow and mature.
Two pairs of hands landed on my shoulders and I looked into the vanity mirror to see Anko Mitarashi grinning back at me through the mirror
"Feeling excited?" she questioned curiously
I stuck out my tongue
"Of course I am, it's my wedding day...I'm just a bit nervous" I admitted fiddling slightly with my fingers
She giggled nodding her head
"Understandable" she commented as she helped me up from my sitting position, spreading out my dress the way it should be.
I took a glance at the full bodied mirror on the other side of the room and saw that I really did look beautiful, the long flowing white gown that had been specifically made for me, its tight corset making my waist smaller and my ample chest more prominent. The top gave way to a flowing skirt that bloomed out the further it went, allowing for a metre or so train behind me. In my hair – which had been twisted up into an elegant bun – had small blue flowers stuck into it; which was the only splash of colour other than my radiant ruby eyes, on my neck a simple yet beautiful pearl necklace.
Taking a deep breath I exited the room and looking to either side of the door to see Hinata in her Maid of Honour dress of soft lilac, Anko being my only other member of my wedding party.
I trailed after them heading towards the doors of the church, waiting outside the doors I felt my already fast paced heart pick up; and with the use of my honed ninja skills I tried to calm down, but as soon as I thought it had worked my heart picked back up again
With a flourish the doors were opened and the wedding began
I waited for my cue which came soon enough, and a huge smile appeared as I walked down the aisle towards the altar. Seeing him standing there in a black tux with an exuberant smile of his own plastered on his face.
The ceremony itself flew by until we came to the vows, the part I was most nervous about; I had so much trouble trying to think of words that could be put into words the power of my love
I watched him as he smiled softly to me as he softly spoke:
"Kurenai Yuhi, you have filled my world with meaning. You have made me so happy and so fulfilled as a person. Thank you for taking me as I am; loving me, welcoming me into your heart. I promise to always love you, respect you as an individual, and to be faithful to you forever. Today I choose you as my partner, and commit myself to you for the rest of my life"
Tears had long ago filled my eyes, he had said these words with such passion, warmth and love that they have brought me close to tears, slowly I began to speak my own words of love:
"Asuma Sarutobi, what I can say that I have not already said, what I can give that I have not already given, is there anything of me that isn't yours already; my body, my mind, my heart, and even my soul. Everything that is me belonged to you long before this, and it shall be yours long after this. I will follow you anywhere and everywhere you lead. Hand in hand and heart in heart"
The kiss we shared at the end of the ceremony, although chaste and short, translated the love that we both shared together.
A slow tear slid down my cheek as I remembered that day, the slow dull ache that was present, the quick and sharp pain had come and gone, leaving me hurting in a way that it made life itself seemed to be agony.
Another memory slowly made its way to the front of my mind, my eyes blinking shut as I remembered the day that changed my life forever.
Loss
I was leisurely making my way around the different flowers around the apartment; this chore always seemed to relax me, the sluggish pace allowed my mind to drift and think about different things.
Today although I was in the similar routine I was partly distracted, worried about my husband who I knew was out there, probably in danger on some mission and most likely putting his life on the line to protect those on his team
My grip tightened on the small gardening scissors as I allowed one more wave of worry wash over me, I sighed trying to reassure myself that he will be okay that at the end of the day he'll return to me safe.
Placing down the gardening instrument I rubbed my stomach tenderly looking down, knowing that I had a very important piece of news to tell him when he came home, that our family is finally starting
After a few months of wedding bliss it happened, the one thing we were so looking forward to in this new life had finally happened; and I couldn't wait to tell him
I grinned with contentment.
As I glanced over to a particular vase of flowerers, lilies, I saw that one of the flowers had fallen and my eyes widened as I walked over picking it up. Staring at it I experienced a feeling telling me something was wrong. Something was wrong with Asuma, my husband, my life.
My fingers enclosing the flower I looked out of the window and out onto the village wishing that he'll come back. He had to.
A few hours of pacing and starring out of the window there was a knock. I ran over hoping and wishing that it was him returning safely.
Opening the door it wasn't him, no it was Shikamaru Nara. I looked at Asuma's student and all of a sudden a sense of desperation hoped that Asuma was just injured and was in hospital, which he was looking after someone who had gotten injured, that at least he was alive
Shikamaru looked into my eyes and I saw the answer in his eyes
"I'm so sorry" he said, his voice thick with emotion
I felt the tears sliding down my face as I fell to my knees, knowing that I had just lost my other half. There was this sound, one that was filled with so much sorrow and pain that I wished that it would just shut up; a warm hand touched my shoulder and I realised the sound was coming from me; this was my sorrow, my pain.
By now I was a mess my face tear streaked, my heart slowly breaking all over again. Reliving this memory over and over again. I laid back onto the softness of the mattress, and the scent of him washed over me, my hands clutched onto the sheets, this small remnant of his existence slightly comforting as the next memory came.
Goodbye
Walking towards the area where the ceremony was being held, the hollowness had not gone away over the week as this day came closer and closer. I was in a daze walking without taking in my surroundings, concentrating on what I had to do today.
Say Goodbye.
Just the idea of it seemed so repulsive I had to restraint myself from physically being sick on the side of the road; I didn't want to do this. It was never supposed to be like this, I shouldn't have to do this; it was just too unfair
I sensed a presence next to me, and I turned to look and saw it was the ANBU member Yugao Uzuki, I didn't really know her but I did know that she had been together with Hayate when he had been murdered.
"I know how you feel Yuhi" she stated
I merely shrugged
"When Hayate died...it was hard, I know you loved him greatly but you have to be strong" she said
I clenched my hands into fists; this is not what I wanted to hear. What I wanted to hear was my husband's laughter, his voice, I want him to come home and make love to me, and I want him to be here by my side. I wanted him alive.
"Kurenai, don't let the despair and anger consume you; don't lose yourself to this. Find a reason to live, find something that will keep your head on your shoulders. There has to be something that should be able to do that" she declared firmly
"It seems so...lonely" I whispered
I felt her grasp my arm reassuringly
"You can do it"
And with that she disappeared, and I looked up to see the crowd that had come to pay respect to one Asuma Sarutobi.
This ceremony held similarities to our wedding, and yet they were polar opposites. They both brought people together to share in something life changing and important; they both held the chance of major emotional overload
A funeral brought the same amount of tears and sorrow that a wedding brought smiles and happiness.
Saying goodbye came too soon, and with a tear streaked face and head held high I approached the grave with a bouquet of lilies which I placed softly on top. I stood up looking down at the small stone that now represented the once big and strong man.
Later on I found myself with Shikamaru talking about Asuma. He had changed and I could see it, there was a sense of leadership now in the way he held himself, he knew who he was and was comfortable with it
"How are you Shikamaru?" I asked
"Fine" he replied shortly in the same lazy drawl I now knew
I smiled slightly
"I have news" I reported
And then I realised, this baby was my reason to live, the one thing I knew that would keep me from going and doing something stupid; this baby will be the way I'll keep my head on my shoulders
"I'm pregnant" I said smiling sadly
He looked so shocked and tried to hide it with a few subtle coughs; he then looked up with a fiery expression in his face
"I promise to help take care of it, of you" he promised
And my small smile lost its sadness, to be replaced by gratitude
"Thank you Shikamaru, I'll need it"
--
There was a soft crying noise from the other room, and immediately I was on my feet and in a few strides the door was open and I had the small baby girl in my arms
I cooed to her trying to calm her down, bouncing her softly up and down caused her to start giggling and to start playing with my hair.
I stared into her dark ruby eyes, I stroked her cheek slowly while I stared at her face with as much adoration and love I had felt for her father
She had his smile, I could already tell. She was a mixture of both him and I.
In the end I had a permanent piece of him.
Author's note: Okay major angst in this, but I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. I got so sad when Asuma was killed and my heart went out to Kurenai for the pain she must've felt. I'm sorry for any mistakes. Please R&R!