I was bored

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Nuriko.  Nuriko belongs to Yuu Watase, and Gundam Wing belongs to a bunch of people that I don't feel like remembering.  Don't sue; I'm not worth it.

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What Duo Did When He Was Bored

Duo was bored.  A bored Duo was never a good thing.

"Heero, watcha wanna do?"

"I want you to shut up so I can get this project done."

"That's no fun.  I wanna do something.  I'm bored."

"Go bother Wufei."

"'kay."  Duo jumped off the bed and left in search of Wufei.  He found him outside practicing with his katana.

"Watcha doin'?"

Wufei jumped.  "Duo?"

"Yep.  Watcha doin'?"

"Practicing.  I need to be stronger in order to beat Treize."

"Why don'tcha just give up?"

"Nani?!"

"We all know Treize likes you.  Why don'tcha go to him?"

"Treize is the enemy, baka!  I can't sleep with him!"

"Who said anything 'bout sleeping?  You must like him too or you wouldnna thought of that!"

"You- you- hentai!"

Duo bowed.  "Thank you very much."

"Baka.  Go bother someone else."

"But I'm having fun bothering you!"

Wufei advanced, katana in hand.

"Eep!  Okay, I'll go.  I'm going see?  B~ye"

Wufei growled, then went back to his work.

"Trowa, watcha doing?"

"I'm making a pie."

"A pie?  Why?"

"Quatre asked me to."

"Oh.  Can I help?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"When you get in the kitchen, all that can happen is disaster."

"Oh.  Can I talk to you while you cook?"

"No.  Go bother Heero."

"Can't.  He sent me away."

"Than bother Wufei."

"Can't.  He sent me away, too."

"Go find Relena."

Duo fell over.  "If I do, you'll never see me again.  I'll die from the overload of Relena-ness."

"That's a bad thing?"

Duo glared.  "I'm starting to think no one likes me."

"You're making me mess up.  You don't want to be in charge of making Quatre's pie taste bad, do you?"

"Fine, I'll go.  Where's Quatre?"

"Duo, leave Quatre alone.  He's very busy."

"What do you want me to do?!  I'm bored."

"There's a lot of housework that needs to be done…"

"NO!  I'll find something.  Bye!"  Duo ran off before Trowa could think of something to make him do around the house.

"Damn.  There's nothing good on TV.  And I'm bored.  And we don't have any missions.  And I'm back at my room.  Heero, I'm still bor-"

He was cut off by the sight of Heero kissing someone who was lying on the bed.

"What the hell!  Why are you kissing Relena?  What about me?"

"I'm _not_ kissing her.  She came in here and promptly passed out.  She stopped breathing and I'm doing CPR."

"Oh.  But what's she gonna think when she wakes up and you're kissing her?"

"I'M NOT KISSING HER!!!"

"Whoa.  No need to yell, I hear ya.  Look, she appears to be waking up."

"Heero?  Why am I in your room?  On your bed?  Did you-"  She blushed.

"No."

"Ya passed out and he revived you and I came back and you woke up."

"What?"

"You came here and passed out.  I performed CPR," Heero clarified.

"Oh.  CPR?"  She blushed again.

"Yes."

"Hey, Relena, why were ya here in the first place?"

"I was…  I was…  I was in the neighborhood and I thought I would take the opportunity to drop by."

"Liar.  What were you *really* doing?"

"I'm telling the truth!  I came to visit one of Father's friends who lives nearby."

"But how did you know where we were?  This is supposed to be a secret."

"I saw Wufei outside with his sword, muttering about how next time he meets Treize, he won't have it so easy."

Duo snickered.

"I knew you might be in the same place, so I came up to the door."

"That still doesn't explain why you passed out, Relena," Duo pointed out.

"Well, I…"  She blushed for a third time.  "I looked in the kitchen window and I saw Trowa and Quatre…"

"Oh," Duo stated knowingly.  "They were making out?"

She nodded.

"They're both *boys*, and it shocked me.  I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and a bee stung me.  I'm allergic to bee stings, so I took my Benedryl®.  It usually puts me to sleep, but I can't imagine why I stopped breathing."

"You took too much."

"Yeah, Relena, in the state you were in, ya probably did.  Heero's usually right."

"I know."

"Hey, Relena, can I ask ya something?"

"What?"

"Does it bother you a lot that Trowa and Quatre are a couple?"

"A little.  I was just shocked because I didn't realize it.  And to see them…"

"Just what *were* they doing, anyway?"

"…."

"Oh.  That bad?"

She nodded.

"Get used to it."  And Duo leaned over and kissed Heero's cheek.

"I don't understand?  What do you mean?"

"Heero and I are a couple, too, ya know."

"You… you are?"

"Yes."  Heero had been standing there silently, but now he glared at his partner.  "Did you have to tell her?"

"Yup.  I couldn't stand lying to someone as respectable as Relena-sama."

"It's okay, Heero.  I would rather know.  I actually came here to tell you that I have gotten over my puppy love and I've moved on.  I found a really nice guy on Earth who loves me.  And I love him.  I was hoping you wouldn't be too devastated, but it seems you've already found someone, too, so…"

She walked out of their room and back to her life.

"She took that a lot better than I thought she would.  I thought there'd be temper tantrums and she'd refuse to give you up and such."

"So did I."

"She's lying.  Just said about that other guy to cover her shock."

"Probably."

 

"Saa, Heero.  I'm still bored.  Can we do something yet?"

"I'm still working."

"On what?"

"I'm writing a story."

"'bout what?"

"About… It's none of your business."

"Heero's embarrassed.  Heero's embarrassed."

"I am not.  But I want to be left alone."

"Fine.  But there's no one left to bother!"

"Trowa and Quatre."

"Uh, Heero, I think they're a little busy, right now…"

"Can't you make yourself useful?"

"No.  I'm bored."

"That's the point, Duo."

"Can't you finish your story some other time?  I wanna go to the zoo!"

"So go."

"I wanna go to the zoo with *you*."

Heero sighed.

"If I go, will you promise to leave me alone later?"

"When later?"

"Tonight."

"Nope."

"Then I'm not going."

"He~ero.  I'll leave you alone tomorrow.  At least until you finish your story."

"No.  I want to be left alone tonight."

"Heero, don't you still like me?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you act like it?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be me."

"Oh yeah…  D'you think Wufei will go with me?"

"Try asking him."

"'kay.  See ya later!"

"Finally…"  Heero turned back to his computer, intent on finishing his story.

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"Maxwell…  How on Earth did I let myself be talked into coming to the *zoo*?  I need to be training."

"All work and no play makes Wufei a boring boy."

"Where are we going first?"

"How about to see the monkeys?  I love watching the monkeys."

"Figures.  You're a monkey yourself, you know that?"

But Duo was already walking away toward the monkey house.

Wufei followed.  "Why can't Heero baby sit?  This *is* his boyfriend we're talking about, after all."

"Did you say something, Wufei?"

"No.  I'm just talking to myself."

"You talk to yourself?"

"And to my Gundam.  Why?  Don't you?"

"Of course.  It's just I don't think of you as being the kind to talk to yourself.  You're the quiet one.  Well, you and Heero and Trowa, anyway."

As they walked to the monkey house, they overheard one couple saying (rather loudly):

"Nuriko!  What are you doing?"

"I saw a girl who looked just like Miaka."

"But why would you want to follow Miaka?"  The girl's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry.  But she *is* the Suzaku no Miko.  It's my duty to protect her."

"She's still in Konan.  Don't you still like me?"

"Of course."  The girl gathered the other girl into her arms and comforted her.

"Well, it's not everyday that we see lesbians at the zoo, ne, Wufei?"

"They aren't lesbians."

"What?  But you saw the way they were acting with each other."

"The one with the long braid is a guy.  Like you, Duo."

"Oh.  How can you tell?"

Wufei looked at him disbelievingly.  "Don't you know the difference between girls and boys?"

"Of course I do!  I meant how did you know he was a guy.  He looks an awful lot like a girl to me."

"Use your brain, Duo.  Look closer at him."

"Oh.  You're right.  He is a guy.  Can we look at the monkeys now?"

Wufei snorted.  As they reached the nut house, Duo pulled Wufei in.  He really liked watching the monkeys.  The lemurs and gibbons and chimps and gorillas made him feel free and… just plain good.  He could watch them for hours.

"Duo, I'm bored."

"Wufei!  Did you just say you were bored?  The mighty dragon, Wufei, is bored?"

"Yes.  I don't like monkeys.  If I have to be here, I want to see the outside animals."

"Oh, fine.  Let's go see the bears."

They walked from the monkeys to the bears.  In other words, across the zoo.

As they were watching the Sun bears nap, a voice from behind them was heard.

"Dragon?  Is it you?"

Wufei half-turned and saw a ginger-haired, blue eyed, devilishly handsome man walking up to him.

"T-treize?!"  he choked out.

"Yes?"

"What are *you* doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same question.  You never come to the zoo with *me*."

"Treize!  I want you to meet a friend of mine.  This is-"

"Duo Mazwell, at your service.  Wufei, you never told me you knew the infamous Treize Khushrenada."

"I.. uh.. that is.. I mean…"

"Wufei and I met at a bar one night.  Right, dragon?"

"Uh..  Yeah, that's what happened.  Treize, you never answered my question.  Why are you here?"  Today, of all days?

"I needed a break from my work, so, since its such a nice day, I decided to come here.  I love watching the animals," he told Duo.

"Oh, so do I.  I dragged Wufei here because no one else would play with me."

"Tricked me is more like it.  You're so annoying its no wonder Heero wanted to stay back there," Wufei muttered under his breath.

"Duo, did you saw your name was?"

Duo nodded.

"Would you mind terribly if I stole Wufei for a while?"

Wufei shot Duo a glance saying, 'Don't you dare!  Don't you dare let him take me!'

"Of course you may borrow him.  Who am I to stand in the way of the leader of OZ?"

"Thank you.  I deeply appreciate this."

"Oh, it's no trouble.  Besides, he wasn't being much fun anyway.  He wouldn't let me watch the monkeys."

"Max- Mazwell, I'm going to *kill* you!  Better yet, I'm going to get *Heero* to kill you!"

Duo giggled.  "Can you have him spank me too?"

Wufei groaned.  "Why me?"

"Come along, dragon.  What would you like to do?"

"I want to go home, get an ice pack, and soak in a hot tub for a couple hours."

"Your wish is my command.  I'll have Lady Une ready a bath for us at once."

Wufei groaned again.  He'd somehow managed to give Treize the perfect opening.  All Treize ever wanted to do was… well… he blushed.

"Wufei, you look so cute when you blush.  Why don't you do it more often?"

"I am going to kill Duo when I get home.  I mean it.  This is all his fault.  No, its Heero's fault.  If Heero had gone with him…"

"I'll have to thank them.  Now, come along, Dragon.  Aren't you looking forward to a nice, relaxing bath?"

"I suppose.  Hey, its those two again."

"Which two?"

"There's a couple Duo and I saw a while ago who were having a small disagreement.  The man with the long purple braid and the girl next to him."

"They seem to be over it now."

The pair in question were holding hands and laughing at the antics of the otters.

Treize reached for Wufei's hand.  "Don't even think about it, Treize."

"But why not?"

"I need to keep a low profile.  This is dangerous enough as it is."

"What is?"

"Being here with you.  Anyone could recognize you and I could be captured or worse."

"I won't let them kill you."

"How could you stop them?  I'm a Gundam pilot, remember?"

"Well, the faster we leave, the less chance there will be of someone seeing me."

"Hn."

Despite Wufei's worries, they left the zoo uneventfully.  Arriving at Treize's manor, he let Wufei out first so he could sneak in to Treize's room.  Explaining why a Gundam pilot was in his car was not something he really wanted to do.

A valet parked the car while Treize walked up the steps to the door.  It was answered by Lady Une.

"I've been expecting you, Treize-sama.  Your bath is almost ready, complete with rose fragrance."

"Thank you."

"Do you want anything else?"

"Yes, actually.  Could you inform the servants not to bother me?  I would like some privacy."

"Of course."

Treize walked down the hall to his room, where Wufei was already waiting.

"Wu-chan!  Our bath is ready.  Shall we?"

"Yes."

"May I help you undress?"

"Do I have to?"

"You weren't thinking of taking a bath with your clothes on?  No, that just wouldn't do…"

Treize walked to Wufei and gently lifted the hem of his shirt up.  Wufei quickly scooted away.  Treize went after him. 

They ended up chasing each other all around the room until they had no more clothes on.  There was an embroidered tank top on the bed, an OZ jacket near the door, white breeches on the heater…

"Wufei, koi, will you take a bath with me?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"No."

"Fine, then.  I'll take a bath with you."

They walked through the door connecting Treize's bedroom to his bathroom.  Wufei ogled.

"Nice."

"Isn't it?"

The lights were dimmed, and the water was steaming.  There were rose-colored towels set on the edge of the Jacuzzi, and rose shaped soaps for the bathers to use.  All in all, it was a romantic atmosphere.

"I can understand why you like to take baths so often."

"…."

"Treize?"

"Hm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Why, looking at you."

"Oh.  Treize, *why* are you looking at me?"

"Do I need a reason, Wufei?"

"…Yes."

"You look good."

"Can we get in the tub now?  I really need to relax."

"I can help with that." 

"Treize, I don't need help.  I just want to be left alone for a few moments."

"Wufei?  Are you okay?"

"Yes.  I will be.  Treize, is this water strong?"

"I think so.  Why?"

"Bathing in weak water makes me feel so ..empty."

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"Duo, where's Wufei?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Quatre."

"Try me."

"First, let me get everyone together."

Once they were all assembled, Duo began.

"Well, you see, Treize showed up and took him away.  About 8 hours ago."

"Treize?  You mean you let *Treize* take Wufei?!?!?!?!" Heero exclaimed.

"Yes…"

"You idiot!!"

"What did I do?"

"Treize is the enemy and you just *let him have Wufei*?!!!"

"…Yes…"

"He could be captured or worse.  Treize could be torturing him to get secrets or using him as a test pilot for a new mobile suit."

"Heero is right, Duo.  How could you have done something so stupid?  Who knows what could be happening to Wufei?"  Quatre eyes began to fill with 'sparkles'.

"Heero, Quatre, relax.  As I said to him earlier, we all know that Treize likes him.  Maybe they're finally getting moving."

"With no help from you, of course," Trowa murmured.

"No, with no help from- Wait, are you calling me a matchmaker?"

"I'm just saying that we all know Wufei would never go to Treize on his own.  Just what did you do?"

"Treize asked if he could steal Wufei and I said yes."

Heero jumped up, his hands twitching convulsively. 

Before anything… violent… could happen, the door swung open and Wufei walked in.

"Wufei!"  Quatre called happily.

"Yeah, its me.  Duo."

"What?"

"Omae o korosu."

"What happened to you, Wu-chan?"

"What did Treize do to you?"

To the surprise of all but Duo, Wufei blushed.

"We… fought… and he very honorably let me go."

"Again," Heero stated.

"Again.  Duo, if you start laughing, I swear I'll stick that braid of yours-"

"You still have the energy to?  I mean, after 'fighting' with Treize?"

"You are sick.  I'm going to bed."

Wufei stalked out of the room, leaving Duo ready to explode with giggles. 

"I told you," he crowed.  "I *told* you that Treize liked him!"

"Duo.  I don't think you should tease Wufei.  He sounded like he meant it when he said he would kill you."

"Well, Quatre, I don't think he has the guts to.  And you'll all admit that I was right?"

They nodded.

"Good.  Heero, are you done yet?  I'm bored!"

He was immediately buried under a pile of pillows.

Climbing out, he asked again, "Are you?"

"Yes."

"Can I read the story?"

"Yes."

"Where is it?"

"Upstairs."

"'kay.  Heero, do you think we can trust Trowa and Quatre alone together?"

"Trowa, do you think we can trust Duo and Heero alone together?"

"Point taken."  Duo grinned.  "Race ya upstairs, Heero!"

Duo took off running up the flight of stairs to his bedroom.  Heero followed at a more leisurely pace.

"Where up here is the story?  I don't see anything."

"It's on the computer.  Let me find it for you.  I don't want the computer broken again."

"Oi!"

"Here it is.  'What Duo Did When He Was Bored'."

"You wrote a story about *me*, Hee-chan?  Thank you."

Duo sat down in front of the computer and started reading.

Duo was bored.  A bored Duo was never a good thing.

"Heero, watcha wanna do?"

"I want you to shut up so I can get this project done."

"Heero, this is what we did today!"

"What *you* did.  I know."

"But what were you writing earlier today?  When I was first bored?"

"I wasn't writing anything.  I just told you that so you would leave me alone.  I was actually hacking into Romefeller's system to get information on their plans for the mobile dolls."

"You…"  Duo jumped on Heero and pushed him back on to the bed.  "You're evil, you know that?"

Heero merely leaned up and seized Duo's lips, effectively shutting him up.  For a while at least.

"Heero, I'm bored…"