This is most likely going to just be a one shot – how Edward was feeling in New Moon. The song is Here Without You by Three Doors Down. Love it or Hate it, tell me what you think.
I was useless. Not only had I failed at tracking Victoria; I lost her somewhere in Mexico, I had failed Bella, I had let Victoria get away.
I was empty. I was missing the whole purpose to my existence. It was meaningless. Everything was meaningless without my Bella. I curled into a tight ball, constantly bashing my head against my knees hoping to drive all thoughts from my mind. Needless to say it didn't work, only giving me a headache to add to my pain.
Amongst the loud rabble of Spanish voices in my head I heard some English; a young girl listening to her ipod. She reminded me of Bella. Actually nearly every teenage girl reminded me of Bella. I couldn't help but listen to the music which stood out so clearly amongst all other noises;
A
hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw
your pretty face
When I
was with Bella I felt so young, so alive, so normal. Now I feel as
though the past months without her have been centuries. For the first
time I truly felt my 105 years, if not older.
A
thousand lights had made me colder and I don't think I can look at
this the same
I
remember how warm she was, how warm she made me both inside and out.
It made me feel cold now, feel empty inside.
But
all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I'm dreaming
of your face
Now when I
thought of her, she could be right there beside me, I could almost
see her there. I could imagine her beautiful scent, her musical
laugh, her chocolaty eyes, so perceptive and thoughtful. So real
until I tried to reach out and touch her.
I'm
here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
I wish she was here with me now. If only I could stop thinking about her, but that wasn't really what I wanted.
and
I dream about you all the time
I
wish I could dream of
Bella
I'm
here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And
tonight it's only you and me
I
used to be with Bella every night, just us two, they were what
differentiated day and night for me. Now everything was just endless
pain.
The
miles just keep rollin'
Each day I get further away from my Bella, each day it gets harder and harder for me to keep my promise.
as
the people either way to say hello
My family, they tried to talk to me, make me see reason or at least come back act normally. I knew I was hurting them but what else could I do?
I've
heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we
go
This
life is
overrated. What is the point of an eternal life of nothingness? I
know it's not going to get better. Not without Bella… No I can't
think like that. I must do what is better for her. I'm
here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I want my Bella next to me! I don't want to be alone anymore! I couldn't handle it anymore; I had to check up on her, just to make sure she was safe…
I
think about you baby
I think of your smile and how I could never see it again in this world or the next. I think of the way you could hurt yourself, being the danger magnet you are.
and
I dream about you all the time
I
wish I could be with
Bella
I'm
here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
I
am going to check up her. Just while she is
dreaming. Just to make sure she was safe, no but she promised… she
wouldn't. how could I be so selfish? It was time for her to move
on.
Everything
I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won't take
away my love
I
need
to find Victoria. To keep my Bella safe.
And
when the last one falls,
when it's all said and done
I
need to find Victoria; I won't let anyone hurt my Bella.
it
get hard but it won't take away my love
It
will take a while, it will give Bella time to move on, but my will
love will still stand. My love will go on for eternity, with my
Bella. I'm here
without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I
was so lonely; I had never truly been lonely before. Before I meant
Bella I had been complacent, alone but never lonely. I
think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I
wish I could dream with
Bella
I'm
here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And
tonight girl it's only you and me
I wish it could be just me and Bella, forever. I wish I could hold her by my side for all eternity. But I promised. I promised to never darken her life again.
And tonight girl it's only you and me
Everything
was different now, when I used to think of her, that came had in
hand
with me wanting her blood, now all I wanted was to be with her. To
save myself from this pain but I knew I couldn't I had
to keep my promise; that was the only thing stopping me from being at
her side this very second…. My promise….
I hope you like this, I just thought it would be an interesting way to have a look on the way I thought Edward felt in New Moon.
Please Read and Review. Love it or Hate it I don't care.
P.S. read Breaking Dawn: My Life as a Cullen by Emmettishilarious13 it is so awesome!