Author Notes: Everyone belongs to Marvel, I'm just playing with their toys. No profit is being made (I wish!). Archive by request. Feedback worshipped and adored at ra_1013@yahoo.com
This story is for Timey. Just goes to show that you should NEVER tell me I *can't* write something! ;)
"From Baaad to Worse" By AndreaNathan Summers, also known as Cable, volatile leader of the mutant vigilante team X-Force, was infected with a techno-organic virus as a small child. He'd been sent into the future in hopes of a cure, and in lieu of that had learned to control the virus with his telekinetic powers. Today he'd finally been cured.
He always thought he'd be happier about that.
"Nate?" Domino called out, ducking around the corner and peering into the dark room. "Come on, I know you're in here. You idiot, don't you know better than to run off without backup?"
Nathan sighed. Dom was NOT going to be happy about this. Better get it over with.
Dom whirled around at the sound of gravel crunching behind her. No one was there. "Damn it, Nate, this isn't funny. I know you're in here."
Another noise made her look down. With a quiet laugh, she reached down and patted the small brown goat standing in front of her. "Hey there, little guy. Arre you the one making all that noise?"
The goat bleated indignantly and butted her, hard. "All right, shoo! Go on home." Dom pushed it away and looked back around. Where had a *goat* come from, anyway? "Come on, Nate, throwing goats at me is a pretty dumb joke."
The goat bleated again and moved around to block her way. "I said shoo! Nate!"
The goat bleated and butted her leg.
Dom swatted at it irritably. "Shoo. Go home. Come on, Nate!"
The goat bleated.
Domino looked down at it in slowly growing horror. She raised her voice again, keeping an eye on the goat, and shouted, "Nate!"
The boat bleated and tossed its head.
Dom sank down to one knee and stared at it in disbelief. "Nate?"
It bleated again and butted her hard in the middle of the chest. She "oofed" and fell over. "Only one goat would have that kind of aim," she groaned, moving a hand up to rub the goat's neck as it came over to nuzzle her face. "This'll teach me to get involved with a damned Summers."
*****
"Damn it, Nate, cut it out!"
Nathan raised his head, bleated at her, and calmly went back to chewing on the seat.
Domino spent the rest of the drive muttering under her breath about stupid idiot mercs who ignored perfectly rational policies about not running off into unknown areas without waiting for backup and didn't bother to consider all the trouble they would put other people through if they happened to get turned into random barnyard animals. She also spent some time recounting his probable ancestry (going into details that would have shortly reduced Cyclops to red-faced stuttering) and speculating on
whether genetics or multiple head injuries had caused his precise brand of utter idiocy.
She felt much better by the time she'd finished her litany and pulled up in front of the Xavier mansion, even though Nate had eaten most of her headrest and moved on to nibble at the center armrest. "All right, Nate, out you go. I'm not chasing after this guy with a goat in tow, so you can just wait here until I get back."
At this point, Domino discovered yet another interesting fact about goats -- it was much easier getting one INTO a car than OUT of one, especially when said goat had apparently developed a taste for upholstery. "Come ON!" she grunted, grabbing his neck and yanking hard.
"Baaah!"
"Don't you bah at me, you idiot. Come on, I'll let you eat the seats in Rogue's convertible."
"Baah!"
"I'll let you eat Logan's motorcycle!"
Dom thought he looked intrigued by that -- as much as a goat could manage, anyway -- but he just tossed his head and went back to nibbling on the seat. Gritting her teeth, Dom yanked hard again. "Come *ON*, you stupid son of a--"
"Ma'am?"
Dom whirled around and spotted her salvation. "Sam!" She hurried over and grabbed the somewhat surprised mutant by the hand. "Just who I needed. Come on, farmboy, don't fail me now!"
Looking fairly bemused, Sam leaned into the car. Dom couldn't see exactly what he did, but the goat hopped out readily enough. "There ya go, but Ah don'--"
"Sam, you're an angel. I could kiss you."
"Baaah!"
"Oh shut up! Sam, you'll take care of him, won't you? I've got some things to take care of. Just keep him out of trouble. I'll be back in a few hours. Thanks!"
"But Ah--" Sam didn't have a chance to get anything else out before Domino had jumped back in the car and pealed out of the driveway.
Sam looked at the goat. The goat looked back at Sam. "Ah guess Ah'd better find someplace t' put you," Sam sighed in resignation. He reached down and grabbed the goat by the scruff of its neck and began walking off. "Don't know why th' heck Dom decided t' get a pet goat," he muttered.
"*BAAAH*!"
*****
True to her word, Dom reappeared at the mansion several hours later, charging right into the living room where most of X-Force and the X-Men were sprawled in front of the television. "Where's Nate?"
"Hi to you too," Tabitha replied, cracking her gum loudly. "Where've you been all day?"
"We haven't seen Cable all day, ma'am," Sam added. "Ah thought he was off with you."
"I left him with you earlier!"
"You--?" Sam started laughing. "You mean you named yore GOAT Nate? Cable ain't gonna be too happy 'bout that! It's tied up out back."
"Jimmy, go get him," Dom said tiredly.
"In *here*?"
"Now!" Dom barked. He jumped up and obeyed.
"I never really thought you were the 'be kind to animals' type," Bobby cracked. "But naming it Nate was a stroke of genius. I can't wait to see Cable's face!"
"*I* didn't name him that. Blame *them*." Domino waved at Scott and Jean, seated on the couch.
"What are you talking about? I haven't named any -- Oh." Scott really looked remarkably calm at discovering that his son was apparently now a goat.
"Long story," Dom sighed as Jimmy returned, leading the goat on a length of chain it was trying to chew through. "Ran into an unknown mutant, but I've got her here to turn him back." SHe turned back towards the doorway and said, "You can come out now."
Everyone turned eagerly to see the powerful mutant who'd managed to fell Cable. "I really am sorry about this," a plump, motherly woman began, wiping her hands on the flowered apron tied around her waist.
"*That's* her?" Bobby managed to choke out before collapsing in hysterical laughter.
"Not...quite," Dom sighed.
An angel-faced little girl with blonde pigtails and freckles on her nose stepped out from behind her mother, walking over to pet the goat on the head. "I'm awfully thorry about this, Mithter Nathan thir," she lisped around her missing front teeth. "But you reall thouldn't have yelled at me. You thcared me."
"Susie--"
"All right, Mommy." The girl held out her hands and a beam of light jumped from her to the goat. As the beam struck him, Nate abruptly changed from goat to very embarrassed human.
Cable stared down at the girl in front of him, then reached up to remove the chain leash from around his neck. He dropped it to the floor and glared around the room. "Not. One. Flonqing. WORD," he growled before stalking out.
Out of consideration for his feelings, the rest of the room waited until he reached the hallway before bursting into hysterical laughter.
**The End**