I'm starting out strong once more whether you like it or not.
:)
SPOV
" WELL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS AWAY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE HELL YOU'VE BEEN CUS I'M STUCK IN MY GUILDED CAGE! ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS YOURSELF! YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD YOU KNOW THAT?" I yelled across the room to my husband who was equally defensive, i've never seen him this upset before.
" Bastard, yes, selfish no. THE DARN REASON WHY I WORK SO HARD IS FOR YOU! I'M SORRY IF I'M ALREADY GIVING MY BEST AND IT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU OKAY? IT'S NOT MY DARN FAULT!" He yells back, his hands raised in the air.
The fire that lit at the back of my throat burned on. I was angry.
" FOR ME! OH YEA LIKE I EVEN TAKE MONEY FROM YOU. YOUR COAT, I BOUGHT THAT, YOUR SHOES, I BOUGHT THOSE, THE LINGERIE YOU SEE ALMOST ONCE A WEEK, THAT WAS ALL ME! I CHURN OUT MY OWN EXPENSES THROUGH SELLING OFF MY PAINTINGS. YOU'RE, JUST MISSING FOR HOURS ON ENDS. SOMETIMES IN DIFFERENT CONTINENTS. YOU CAME BACK HARD DRENCHED IN SEAWEED THAT TIME ARO! SEAWEED!" I retorted, shoving him. Then, silence.
" That's it." was all i said before I made my way to my dressing room/closet space.
" Where do you think you're going woman?" he barked sharply, tugging at the hem of my sleeve. " I gave you this house. I gave you your life. I gave you everything, without me, you'd be nothing but a slave girl, and you know it. You KNOW that you'd be nothing without me."
As I barge into my closet and turned on the lights, I busied myself with packing my belongings. I threw in the basics, money, clothes, shoes, makeup, pins, rubber bands. " I'd rather DIE than be with someone like you again, now i regret even liking you. I regret living here." I threw back with no tact, pulling my arm away from him. There was another moment of silence and hard, deep breathes between us.
His eyes fixated on mine. " Did.. you really mean that..? That.. you regret liking me?" he asked in genuine pain, his eyes revealed the hurt i had caused, i could almost see his torn and tattered heart fraying at the edges, dripping with the hot red love that was once for me. I felt a pang of guilt ooze into my head.
" Well... no.. not entirely.. I had no idea why i said that.. but I can't take it anymore. You ignore me aro, I FEEL ignored, and i feel avoided, and i'm hurt. And you don't seem to care, you just... go about like you're right all the time. Which, of course, low and behold, you are, always right. ALWAYS. I can never be the one to correct you because it's never your fault, and there's never a right or wrong. " I slid down slowly, my back gliding across my wardrobe door and landed in a pile on the carpet across from him, he was sitting in the chair, his head in his hands and his eyes wild and indignant.
I sighed, and proceeded to zip my bag up. I stood up and walked in front of him before lifting his head with one finger. I placed a full kiss over his lips. His eyes were shut tightly, and he reciprocated my action. Then I drew away painfully, it was like i was cutting myself away from him. " I'm sorry i'm not the right one for you, and we don't have so much in common as i thought we did, and I'm sorry for being a demanding bitch, but i can't do this anymore, i can't keep asking you for things, I can't.. you know, keep this up, pretending like i don't know things when i do, afraid that you'd take that knowledge away from me.. so i'll leave now.. and by the way.. i was about to tell you how wonderful you were, i did wish to do so, everynight. I waited for you to enter the room, my chest and waist painfully caged in a corset which i knew you liked, and you never came, you never walked in, and when i arose in the morning, you had not placed a blanket over my shoulder, no note on the bed, it was like i wasn't important anymore. " I mastered my speech, till they were smoot as pearls, and as i let my thoughts out to him verbally, it was like those pearls dropped and splatter across the floor, a snapped necklace that was once beautiful.
My shoes clicked along the majestic marble tiles, I remember walking down the familiar corridor that once never touched my feet, because Aro used to carry me in. I made my way down one flight of stairs, spiralling down. The windows paved with stones let the moonlight in, an eerie shadow that never failed to scare me and make me feel curious. Reaching the bottom of the spirals, i could navigate without my eyes open. Passing through another corridor, I turned left. The sides of me were statues which lurked behind the jeweled jasper pillars, the golden curtains that were once there almost rotting off. I could feel the splendor fade away.
He wasn't even going to come after me this time. Fine then. I was really unwanted now. Hmm..
I made my way comfortably, ghosting across the hallways till i reached a narrower, darker area of our castle, the area we hated visiting most. Didyme's perfume still echoes in these parts, regularly refilled by the... resident.
I knocked, the sound resonated across the dark corridor.
I heard silence, then footsteps, then the creak of the door. " Daughter? Oh sulpicia. Come inside." he said.
Marcus took my luggage and led me into his room.
Everything was just as i remembered it when she was here, the bed unmade, her scent in the air, flowers arranged in the exact same way, petals were pealed off whenever we refilled them because the petals were almost wilting when that day happened.
I sniffed and sat on Didyme's side of the bed.
His arms wrapped around me. " Tell me what happened this time, hmm? Did you man child of a husband upset you or was it another quarrel?" He comforted, offering me his shoulder. I clung onto him like a sloth, like i did when i was a child.
" Marcus.. I don't need to talk about what happened."
" I know, you seek comfort. Come here.." He gestured, placing me in his arms under the bedsheet and rocking me back and fourth when I was a child.
" You still see me as your daughter?" I smiled sorrowfully.
I could feel his smile as he kissed my forehead. " You know, i still see his connection to you, he's trying to hold on so hard, he really is, you already let go. Now i see that you feel only me, but you see me as a father. I am glad that you do. Because I still want to be your father." He says, almost like it took alot of effort.
Marcus held me for what seemed like hours, till I tire myself out and I lay on Didyme's pillow. He placed the blanket all the way up to my neck, and kissed my ear. " Rest your mind daughter, I'll be right here watching over you. I promised her i would protect you and keep you happy. Stay, let me tend to your belongings." he said, slipping off the bed.
I pulled at my crest, the one that aro gave me. I missed him so much, I wish he knew how much I regretted telling him all those things.