Title: Au Revoir (Till we meet again)
Author: Mistresssire03
Genre: Tragedy/General
Rating: T
Summary: 'It's not goodbye because we'll meet again...I don't know next century, next lifetime maybe, but I'm sure as hell I'll see you again. It's not a promise, it's a fact.' When you find yourself racing to make a change, seven days is such a short time. NejiTen
Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine so is the song breakaway.
Au Revoir
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
-Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
If someone told you that you only have a week to live your pretty ass off, what would you do? Would you cry? Would you believe? Would you feel betrayed? Would you curse the heavens above? Would you wallow in your grief? Or would you end your life earlier than expected?
She laughed.
She laughed so hard that her stomach ached and she had to clamp it. Her voice came out hoarse and scratchy like it hadn't been used for years. After a minute of so, she stopped and wheezed, panting as she strained her newly healed wounds, her lungs were constricting so painfully that she coughed hard enough to fall of her hospital bed. Yet she did not stop, the minute that the painful spasm paused, she started again. She was literally rolling on floor, laughter coming from her lips while the unfortunate news bearer watched her with a grim expression. The legendary medic was silently astonished at her charge's reaction. She expected bitterness, self-pity and anger that when the full blown laughter erupted from her lips, she had to tone her emotions down a notch. She was still there on the floor, chortling merrily with that broken laughter of hers and doing things that can make all of her handiwork on the young woman's wounds come undone.
Not that it mattered anyway.
The irony was so palpable and so damn funny that she wouldn't be surprised if she laughed her life out. Here she was wearing a hospital gown, being informed that she only have a week left while the other shinobi out there only have a second to reflect on what they'd done in their lives.
Should she consider herself fortunate? Blessed? Totally privileged?
No she did not.
The first thing that came into her mind was to laugh. No, she did not even thought of April fools day, or that maybe Tsunade-sama mistaken her for patient no. xxx. But just that tickling feeling she had when she was informed of her life line.
And maybe because of the fact that she promised herself that if by chance she'll be going down, she'll go down with a laugh. A final mockery to her killer, not retribution but just a second of seeing disbelief on her murderer's face she knew would give a sense of completion to her.
Not that it mattered anyway.
She killed him before he did. And the way he smiled grimly at her with a series of weapons jutting out from his chest was now so damn clear that she had to laugh at the irony again. She wanted to laugh at her killer but it went the other way around.
She chuckled harder at that thought. But laughing did not send a wave of completion; her killer was on his grave now, killed by her weapons. In fact she figured he must be doubling over with that rotting corpse of his laughing along side with her.
The second thing was her team.
She long stopped by now, staring at the white, white ceiling before her while the coldness of the hospital tiled floor crept onto her back. She felt someone latched on to her and help her up but she could not feel anything. It was as if she was detached from her body, borrowing senses she was not familiar with.
Then she cried.
She cried so hard gripping the doctor's coat of her unfortunate superior. She bawled, tears springing up to her eyes and won't ever seem to stop while flashes of her team played on her mind like some sick movie. There they was lounging on their favorite training grounds, Lee being so drunk, her helping Neji with the kaiten and them fighting out their lives while protecting each other.
What would she say to them?
How would she say goodbye? To Lee? To Gai-sensei? To Neji?
To Konoha?
She still has so many things to do. Promises sixty nine onwards still have to be fulfilled. She still has thousand of missions lining up after her last, who would do it after she's gone? She still has to spend time with her team. She still has to help Lee confess his undying love to someone who won't probably look his way, Neji with that new technique of his and Gai-sensei with his new training regime. She still has a dozen more of ninja to send her apologies, a thousand more to profess her love and care and a million more to save.
At nineteen, she still has to live her life.
This was not in the plan. She was supposed to live until twenty-five and forging the best weapons supplies for the village, for free even. Then she'd try out ANBU and she'll pass with her team, then they'd do the most dangerous missions. They'll be known, feared and respected. And if she ever had to die, she'd die with a smile—or laugh while protecting the village.
Now she can't do it, she'll die the hard way, the cursed way. She can't die with only a second of reflection, she can't die honorifically. She has seven days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes and 604800 seconds to wallow in her grief.
So much for the "heroic" death.
"What should I do, Tsunade-sama?"
A simple question that broke her heart into frighteningly small fragments. She looked so broken, so down…so defeated. The renowned weapon mistress of Konoha who was not known only for her weapon arsenal but also stubbornness and strength was here, in hospital gown, weary and hunched as if she carried the whole world. And she was the one who caused it. Suddenly, crying seemed to be a better choice than putting up a tough act.
The tears long stopped by then, dried trails, puffy eyes and general dejection were the only things left. She was sitting, her back leaning against the headboard, but that did not take the miserable slouch off her shoulders.
"I don't know…I'm sorry I don't know…"
She sighs, looks up for a moment and Tsunade sees bitterness in her eyes. A flicker of understanding crosses her face before she pulls her legs close to her and tucks her head under her overlapping arms.
She ended their conversation.
After closing the door behind her with a soft click, she slumps hard against the wall. The tears started flowing then like a broken dam and she was shuddering so badly. She tiredly embraced herself, crying silently while the walls were the only spectators, watching the last legendary sannin's moment of weakness.
The beautiful former Hokage wiped her tears and stared at ceiling as an attempt to keep the tears at bay. Finally, she heaved in calming breaths, trying to recompose herself before someone sees her in this state. Tsunade gave one last fleeting look at the closed door before she painfully extracts her drained body from the wall and walk away from her fallen comrade.
"Baa-chan? How is she?"
She stops, looks at the opposite direction and came face to face with the man whom she considers as her grandson.
"Naruto?"
The Rokudaime paused, taking one look at her disheveled appearance, the puffy eyes and the drying trails left on her cheeks. His ocean-blue eyes snapped back at her defeated chocolate orbs as if he was looking through her.
"Are you…were you crying?"
Immediately her hands flew to her cheeks wiping the left trails while she cursed inwardly. She gave a small smile to Naruto, something so insignificant and so fake that Naruto knew she only did it to alter the subject.
"What are you doing here? Looking for Sakura? I think she's still at the emergency room…That damn brat's still neglecting his medicines and—"
"Baa-chan."
"I seem to recall her telling me that she also wanted to—"
"Baa-chan."
"Take the night shift…something about her pest neighbors partying tonight and she won't--"
"Baa-chan!"
She stops her rambling, wide eyes staring at Naruto who raised his voice to get her attention back. The handsome man averted his eyes to the ground, half-ashamed of what he did and half-guilty for prying in.
"The last time you cried was three years ago…when I came back with Sasuke. The first time I saw you cry was with Ero-"
He gave a long painful sigh.
"Ero-sennin…When you cry…I know something big is going on…"
He smiles bitterly.
"And you were rambling…first I had of you doing that."
They were surrounded with a few moments of silence, Tsunade weighing if she has to tell him and Naruto fumbling in the dark for the reason why Tsunade looked so down. But the sincerity and the honesty in his stature was the only thing it took for her to start speaking, as selfish as it may seem she can't carry the burden alone.
And then she tells him.
Tells him about the dilemma, tells him about how one of his closest friends was at death's door and with no way out. Tells him of how she can't save her, of how advanced the jutsu is that it was not present in her vocabulary. Tells him of her weakness and of how she can't always save those close to her.
Tells him of his subject who lost her hope.
And he comforted her with his wide disbelieving eyes and compassionate soul that it took all of her will not to cry again. Because this was so tragic…this was not supposed to happen. She sees him break inside too…sees him look torn between believing and not.
"I don't know how I can save her Naruto…she's only got a week at worst. Help her Naruto…"
Then he snapped like someone pinched him hard to get his attention. Without a second more, he left with a flurry of his white coat and bright yellow locks. He threw the doors wide opened and disappeared from inside. Tsunade swore she saw a shocked look of the broken girl currently slumped on the head board at seeing her Hokage enter the suffocating room.
A moment later she heard shouting from the room, a bit more retorts from a high-pitched voice, a cry, things breaking, a sharp sound which may seem like a slap, complete silence before the shouting started again. A moment more and the whole area were completely shrouded in peace. Tsunade sighed and trudged away, she doesn't have anything to do more.
All she need was sake. Lots of it.
She surmised she won't be getting any sleep again tonight.
Glasses broke as she pushed him to a nearby tray, they both knew he could have easily dodged the sloppy attack but he lets her, lets her release the frustration on him.
"You don't know anything! You're not the one dying!"
"Yeah I'm not but I know if I'm the one with it, I won't be as selfish as you! I'm not the only one dying in this world!"
Slap!
Her eyes were wide, glassy and a bit dazed as she regained her senses; her hands were still poised in the after-effect of the blow while the blonde's head was still at the side from the impact.
She gently lowered her arms, her face was a mix of different emotions…so much for her to bear that the stopped tears came again. Here she as crying pathetically again and on her village ruler too. How much lower can she get?
"I'm sorry…"
He uttered and she snaps her head back at him in shock. She should have been the one apologizing, what she did would have been a serious crime by Konoha laws.
"I'm sorry…"
"Why are you apologizing?"
"Because…"
She looks at him straight in the eyes and smiles bitterly.
"It's hard to argue with sick people right?'
"It's not—"
"I don't need your pity."
Her once lively tuned dull brown eyes flashed dangerously over his form.
"I'm not pitying you."
"Then why are you here? I don't need you pep-talking me! I want to be alone! Leave me alone!"
"Listen to me--"
"Leave! Get out! Get out!"
He grabs hold of her shaking form, holding her at arms length but at a certain level of comfort and tenderness. She tries to fight him, shying away furiously from his grasps, while her chocolate locks tumbled and swayed in frantic motions from her movement. Naruto shook her, trying to placate her movement and nails from coming into a dangerous position with his face.
"Listen. Listen…"
He said in such a soft voice that she immediately stopped. Shaking a great deal she raised her eyes at him and saw the gentleness in his eyes that it almost hurt her. She averted her gaze after a second.
"You're not the only one…I traveled to different places, seen many things and met thousands of people. I've met some of them with the same problem as yours, people at deaths' doors…like me. I've been hanging between life and death since God knows when. But you know what the difference is?"
She does not answer but she bits her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. The blond-haired man holds her chin soothingly with one hand forcing her to look at him.
"I don't give up… I fight."
And slowly she regained her strength and looked deeply into his eyes.
"Don't give up…There's so many things you can do, for a week you can change something. Not all of us is as fortunate as you."
This was the new Naruto. The wise Naruto, the ruler and dubbed as the strongest Hokage Konoha has ever produced. He had faced almost a hundred shinobi, lost and regained his brother in a fight to death, defeated S-class criminals more than she can count. And a pillar of strength to those who lost hope just like her. Instantly the tears welled up again just as she thought the supply is almost over. She clung helplessly into his arms, crying and wetting the white robe that was an imitation of the fourth's.
"Not all of us can say thank you…and good bye one last time. You still got seven days; seven days to change things, seven days left to fully live your life out."
"Not all of us can leave this world without regrets and solved matters. Don't waste it."
"I understand Hokage-sama…Naruto"
She had already fallen asleep while he awkwardly cradled her slumped form. It had already been hours ago since the shouting match had taken place and he was sure Sakura-chan must have been angry by now. He winced as he felt his abused hand slowly sleep and tried to find a way to make her feel more comfortable. A moment later she was resting comfortably on her hospital bed. Naruto stood above her like some sort of a guardian angel while he tried to make her position less neck-breaking. She was breathing lightly, softly and calmly completely different to the banshee he had to placate a while ago. It was completely reasonable though, who would react with smiles and happy faces when their lives' about to end.
Honestly, he wouldn't know. He had always been on that predicament that he long forgot how to live an innocent life--one that he would not worry if in his next sleep they or him would be able to fulfill their goals. He's always hanging precariously on the balance between life and death and then being revived again that it was almost a habit to see himself inside the hospital wards after a mission or two. He always envisioned his death as a quick one, yet he always wanted some sort of a warning before hand—just so he can say goodbye. But he never fully felt the same depth she's carrying right now. It wasn't a dream anymore; someone close to his heart was experiencing it, someone's about to die on him.
This was reality.
All the reason why it hurts so much.
He sighed once more, feeling a heavy weight on his shoulders as what he could surmised Tsunade had. He gave a last bitter smile on to her direction, "I'm sorry…It's my entire fault…all my fault…"
"Forgive me…please don't run away."
And then…
Her mouth quirk upwards—slow, painful yet breathtaking and heartfelt.
She was smiling.
There and then, he knew she had accepted.
He softly closed the door behind him, the small bitter smile never left his face while he tried to think with his muddled brain. It took him fully half a second to register he was not alone on this particular hospital hallway.
Hyuuga Neji stood rigid against the wall. His arms were crossed in front of while the guarded shoulders were the only indication of his tenseness. He would have looked the same Neji as he was when one of his team mates was sent to the hospital due to a bone fracture or some minor injury. Every bit of his physical façade was thrown off; however, the moment Naruto looked at his orbs. His pale irises conveyed so many emotions, so many unanswered questions and confusions restricted inside the young handsome man as dictated by his upbringing that Naruto found it hard to match his gaze.
"So you know huh?"
"Hn."
"What would you do?"
"She does not like being pitied."
"Seven days, Neji...she…you got only seven days."
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Ever have the feeling like you have been enlightened on a thing that you refuse to see and you are almost seeing the world in a different scale? It felt like that…as if I was another being, recreated with the memories and mistakes of my past life.
The moment I woke up I knew everything would change. It was by this time that I noticed how wonderful technological advances were on hospitals and humans who desperately need the assistance. It was as if the first time I have heard the birds chirps outside, soft melodious tittering that if I'm sitting up on my bed I might actually see them perched on my window sill—like they wanted to say goodbye.
The hurt was gone; confusion and general loneliness was the only thing left. Even the numbness has been long gone now and if it weren't for my current predicament I might actually think I slept it off. The room was as immaculate as the day I first came here, the trays and broken shards swept away by village medics and I'm kind of wondering what they must be thinking when they cleaned the mess I made.
Hours ago Naruto—I mean Hokage-sama had been in this very room telling me not to run, telling me to be strong. I brushed it off the moment he entered, thinking that he'd be the same with those cheap characters I see in movies where they try to cheer up hopeless people when you can't really see the world through a 'fine, dandy and everything's peachy' perspective. I hate them… I hate how they try to bring false hope when there's really none; I always lose respect for actors acting that particular character.
He did tell me what I've heard a hundred times before from those cheap movies and again I almost laughed at the irony.
But instead of the deep disgust I always felt, there are only emptiness, sadness, grief and confusion that became magnified the moment he opened his big fat mouth. Big fat healing mouth. He told me not to run and to fight and to change. I snorted. It was as if my character had taken a complete 360 when I heard the news flash about my life line.
I am not as strong as my prodigy team mate nor as hardworking as my taijutsu specialist team mate, but I rarely run from a fight, instead I try to increase my strength twice more—protecting my loved ones as a fuel for it. And if there's one thing I can attribute as my goal, that is to change. Ever since diaper days, since my mother continuously filled me with Tsunade-hime stories, I strive to become her. I threw away my dolls, thinking they were too girly for a future legendary shinobi—not kunoichi. I tied my hair into buns, I would have cut them but my mother vehemently refused, to keep them from getting in the way. And now, even if she's long gone, I still kept them up as a tribute. I burnt all my girly outfits, girly stuffs one would see on normal eight-year old girls. I saved all my allowance to buy ninja tools, those that can actually sever an artery or two. The moment I stepped into the academy, the boys and even teachers were not taking my gender seriously; thinking that maybe we only went to the school to see a glimpse or two of the Hyuuga prodigy or just generally search for any future strong shinobis to be future strong husbands. Since then, I went all out to prove to them girls can be strong too.
And for that ideal I changed my self.
What he was telling was clear to me as the cloudless skies. "Don't lose yourself." And I won't, because I am strong and I don't run. I won't turn to some useless shinobi who turns away from his duty the moment they contacted weakness or injury. I will fight and change as long as I can. I will prove my ideals through the remaining days left.
I won't back down because that's my nindo and I intend to keep that way until my last breath.
The moment she entered, she did not take notice of the newly cleaned place nor did the absence of the broken glasses that should have been littering the floor from what she heard yesterday, but the big bright and heartfelt smile the dying girl gave to her. She was sitting against the headboard, the same position as yesterday, yet she could clearly see the change. The ominous cloud no longer hangs above her; instead she can make out liveliness and acceptance on the younger woman's gesture. It was as if she was revived overnight, healed of her illness and Tsunade only dreamt of yesterday's heartbreaking news.
She plastered on a smile and hoped it's not too fake.
The former Hokage started on the tedious routine, checking if she's healthy or not though they both knew she won't last long.
"Tsunade-sama, I'm sorry about yesterday."
"It's nothing." She checks her heartbeat rate, hands shaking.
"I'm fine now and can I…can I be discharged?"
She does not answer but she purses her lips, the blond woman stayed awake all night trying to find a cure to the unusual jutsu to no avail, drink sake, keep herself conscious and try not to alert Shizune. Good thing no matter how stressed she look, she still retained her youthful features.
"I kinda realized, if I only have seven days…I'd spend it not in bed."
She wrote something on the clip board; with the jittery hand that even she can't distinguish the words.
"Are you sure?"
She gave the older woman another sunny smile and nodded while her hair tumbled frantically from the enthusiastic movement.
"I don't want to die of boredom before the times up." She joked grinning brightly.
She gave her own grin and tried hard not to smile and cry at the same time. "It's good to see you back."
The other girl muttered an 'uh-hum' while doing her best to remove the IV drip. Tsunade immediately went to help her.
"I'll arrange your papers then, no need for you to wait for it--"
Suddenly, two thin arms—too different from her nice and strong arms before—wrapped around her waist. She hugged her, not too tight to cut of her lung activity but not too loose to look as if she didn't mean it. She hugged her like she would to a mother.
"I…thank you Tsunade-sama…Since I'm going some place far away…" She chuckled humorlessly. "I want to tell you that you had always been my inspiration and I worked hard to be like you. And…and…just…Thank you for everything."
Tears glistened at the edge of her lashes as she looked up to the blond woman. Tsunade smiled maternally, one hand brushing the tears away while her other hand combed her brown locks.
"Silly…You're more than me, you're you."
She gave a small smile and retracted her arms to herself. "I have one favor to ask of you, Tsunade-sama, please don't tell anyone about this." Her hands swept to herself.
"I'll tell them in due time."
Tsunade nodded understandingly, "I promise."
The moment she closed the doors, she felt as if a huge load was lifted from her shoulders. She really did the right choice of handing down the title to someone who can make miracles.
A/N: I really would appreciate feedbacks...The story seemed a little bit NaruTen but trust me its very NejiTen...well...I hope I don't make it too OOC. Pairings would be NejiTen(obviously), NaruSaku, ShikaIno and KibaHina. So, sorry if it doesn't match up to your standards but really this is just a diversion for another story which I'm still lost if I should continue it.
It's not beta'd so sorry for the wrong grammar mistakes--I particularly suck at those. And first attempt at an angsty and tragedy story.
Your resident nobody,
-mistresssire03