Hello all! Another oneshot for your reading pleasure. This is technically the third oneshot in a series, but you don't have to read the others to know what is going on (promise!) but if you're interested in reading them the first two are The Best Part of Me & Easy To Pretend. Feel free to check them out or to just read this one. I have two more that I plan to publish soon. Remember to please review as it is always appreciated! I own nothing with Glee or 'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder which inspired this story. Also thanks to my beta written in dreams for her awesomeness. Thanks!
Puck glanced down at his phone and as he read the caller ID, he sighed. Damn it.
"S'up?"
"Noah…" With just that one word (all it took was his name) coming from her lips, he felt a tumble of emotions run through him. The sob that followed made him want to swear, but he was trying to do that less now that Quinn was pregnant. She didn't want him "swearing like a sailor" (her words, not his) in front of the baby.
"Rach…" He sighed, glancing up to see if he was really alone in the room. "What's wrong, babe?"
"I can't do this anymore. Finn and I just aren't getting along anymore."
He paused as he tried to decide how to respond. It had been two years since that fateful night that he'd told Rachel that he loved her on the dance floor of some club that they'd been out to, even though she had been dating his best friend for the three years prior to that. She'd turned him down flat, staying angry with him for a year – a year in which so many things had changed.
After that night, he and Quinn had begun dating, and after only a three month relationship, they'd eloped, run off to Las Vegas and everything. Finn and Rachel had followed behind, getting married six months after them. After the first three months of her marriage, Rachel had been so miserable that she'd had to forgive Puck so that she had someone to talk to.
"Did you guys have another fight?" He kept his voice quiet, barely above a whisper so that Quinn wouldn't hear. She was so jealous of his and Rachel's friendship (and it was true she had every reason to be) and it drove him crazy.
On the other end of the phone, Rachel continued to sob. "Yes…"
"And does he know that you're talking to me?"
A pause. "No."
"Great, Rach. You guys are already fighting and you call me? You know that if he finds out it's just gonna piss him off more."
"I know, but –" She paused to suck in a breath. "But I just had to talk to you. I miss you."
"Fuck." Well there went the no swearing. "What am I going to do with you?"
"I wish that you could hold me, that you could love me. Noah, I love you. I know that I told you I didn't, but I do."
Puck closed his eyes, sighing. He would have killed to hear those words two years before, but now he had a family and he couldn't just walk out on them. But damn was he tempted. "Rachel, we can't do this."
His eyes sprung open as he heard a noise in the hallway. Quinn glanced into the room and seeing that he was on the phone, she smiled and mouthed, "Who is it?"
There was no fucking way that he was going to tell her the truth. He thought quickly of who there was no chance she would be talking to soon before answering. "Mike."
"What?" Rachel's sobs had slowed and there was only an occasional gasp as she tried to calm herself, but the confusion was apparent in her voice.
"Oh nothing, I was just telling Quinn that I was talking to you." He grit his teeth. Fuck his life. Why did this shit have to happen to him? He just knew that Quinn was going to figure out that he so wasn't talking to Mike.
But she just smiled, one hand on her stomach and one on her lower back. "Tell him that I say hello." She nodded towards the hallway she'd just come from. "I'm just gonna go to bed. It's kinda late."
Puck nodded. "I'll be there in a bit." He watched her go, guilt flooding him.
"You told her you were talking to Mike? Gee, thanks."
"Well fuck! What the hell was I supposed to do? Tell her that I'm talking to the woman that I love who happens to be married to my best friend?" he hissed at her, trying desperately to keep his voice down and his temper in control.
"Well that would be a start."
"Really? You're a real piece of work." He paused again, still trying to rein in his temper. "We have no chance Rachel. No matter how much we might or might not love one another. We're both married and I have a kid on the way."
"Noah…"
He cut her off because he knew that if she kept talking, kept saying his name, his resolve would slip. He'd find himself hoping, wishing, and praying for a chance with her. "Rachel, two years ago you told me no so I moved on the best that I could. You made your choice then, and now I'm making my choice." His voice softened as he continued, "You tempt me more than I ever thought possible, but I made a vow to Quinn and to myself. I promised to honor Quinn and I promised myself that I would hurt Finn like that ever again. I'm more tempted than you'll ever know, but I just can't do it."
The other end of the line was silent and for a minute he thought that she had hung up. "You'll spend every day of your life wishing she was me."
"Maybe…or maybe not." Puck shrugged even though he knew Rachel couldn't see him. She was probably right, but there was nothing that they could do about it now. "But it's my life and my regrets."
She was quiet again and Puck didn't know what to say. What could he really say? And really he wasn't saying anything that they didn't both already know.
"I don't want to say goodbye, Noah," she sniffled.
"Neither do I, but it's not like we really can. You're married to my best friend. We'll see each other and we'll deal with it because we have to. We'll pretend like we always do. It's what we have to do."
"Yeah, I know," Rachel sighed and Puck could tell that she was fighting tears again. "Well, I'll talk to you later." She hung up without waiting for his response.
Puck stared at the phone and felt a pang in his chest. He hated the fact that he was married to one woman while still in love with another, but he couldn't help what he felt, could he? He shook his head and stood up, heading to bed where his wife was waiting for him.
