Was it left or right?
He just taken a right turn followed by a left one so if he took another left he would wind up where he started. Wait, how the hell did that work? Weren't you supposed to walk in curved line in order to make a circle?
Naruto scratched his head in confusion looking at the intersection that lay before him. He was pretty sure that taking a right was the way to go; I mean who the hell has heard of a circle with edges, that would make it a polyglot, polygoat, Polly want a cracker, pocket rocket . . . Whatever the hell that thing was called! The point was that he was pretty sure that right was the way to go, but then again he was also pretty sure that he had screwed up somewhere in the beginning so taking a left could put him back on course . . .
"Fuck it" he muttered, stumbling towards his right, the alcohol in his system hindering his motor skills slightly. He was going to get where he wanted to go, even if he had to rasengan his through the entire tunnel system, destroying the bedrock and the buildings that sat on top of it. The map he had been given earlier probably would've helped, but he had burned that as instructed.
It was dark as hell but he could see pretty clearly. Maybe it was the carrots old man Teuchi put in his ramen, or maybe it was just his natural born awesomeness.
Naruto smiled. He was pretty awesome, something that bitch Kiba or most of his friends just couldn't seem to appreciate or admit. Who else could brag that they beat a SS-rank gravity controlling criminal who played puppet master with six different bodies, one of which was a fucking android! And not just an android but an android equipped with missiles and lasers! Lasers for Kami's sake!
Now if Naruto could shoot rockets from his knees, ho, ho, ho that stupid council had better watch itself!
Now back to what he was doing. Lurking through tunnels like thief with a bicycle pump looking for dwarven gold. Hold on, that didn't come out right. Anyway, back to what he was doing . . . what was he doing again?
The blonde frowned in concentration. It had something to do with cinnamon buns, some of which he had in a bag he was holding. Whoa, why the hell was he carrying cinnamon buns?
Absentmindedly he took one out one and bit into it savoring the sweet flavor accentuated by the creamy icing. Sweet, sweet icing . . .
That's it! He was going to hand feed his sweet Hina-chan cinnabons! Then she would lick her fingers and look at him with those pretty eyes of hers and then be all like "Is there anyway I can do to repay you?", then he'd be like "As a matter of fact there is little lady", then he'd lay her down, take off her lavender night gown off and-
Suddenly his right foot struck a rock eliciting a sharp curse from the jinchuuriki. The pain he felt became trivial as he heard the whoosh of released air and before he knew he was dodging arrows that flew at him from all directions like an archeologist in a certain action movie.
The assault lasted a full three minutes and by the end Naruto counted at least a bazillion arrows, maybe more, had been fired at him. He managed to avoid all of them, again his natural awesomeness coming into play, but there were several close calls as evidenced by the many holes that littered his jacket.
"It's gettin hot out anyway, shome ventillatioshion will be good."
Undeterred he continued on his journey, which didn't last much longer since all his arrow dodging had caused him to run forward in order to evade, conveniently leading him to where he wanted to go, a small featureless door made of dull metal placed in the surrounding stone.
The door didn't have a handle or knob, but Naruto had been told it could be told by using chakra. The problem was he couldn't recall how he supposed to do that t, and kicking it, like he did with all other doors without knobs, would probably set off an alarm somewhere.
So, he decided to combine the two methods, and one chakra enhanced kick later, the door buckled inwards and fell, revealing another tunnel with a ladder at the end.
Smiling at his handiwork he kicked the door aside and proceeded to climb the ladder and soon found himself in a nice looking corridor, the walls made of rice paper.
Putting on a serious expression, after all he was technically breaking and entering, Naruto sucked in a deep breath and tiptoed his way through the compound as quietly as possible. Unlike the tunnels he knew where he was going . . . sort of.
Finally he arrived in front of another door, this one with a handle on it, which he gently turned letting himself in.
The inside of the room looked a bit different than what he expected, a lot less lavender for one thing though it was dark and he couldn't really make out the color scheme. The furniture was simple but tasteful, as was everything else, giving the room as a modest feel.
Just leave it to his Hina-chan to be princess but at the same time be so humble. He really wished he had bought more cinnabons, she deserved all the sweet treats in the world, but alas the bag he carried was only so big and he had yet to be paid for saving the village months back.
He grinned as he quietly made his way to the bed that sat in the corner of the room. What he couldn't give her in treats he give her in attention and talented fingers.
She was lying on her side, hair cascading luxuriously down her back. Her hair, besides her confession of love towards him, was one of the many things that attracted him so seeing it now made his body shiver and set nerves aflame.
Silently he sat the bag down next to the bed, threw his ripped up jacket in the corner then pulled back the covers of the twin sized bed and quietly slipped under them.
He leaned forward and stuck his nose deep in her long hair. Her scent too seemed to have changed. A little like poppy seeds with a muskier undertone, again not what he what used to or expected but could deal with.
"Sorry I'm late Hina-chan," he whispered touching her shoulder, which was bare, "I kinda got lost in those damn tunnels. Sheriously it's like those wrinkled old anceshtors of yours want people to get lost down there!"
She stirred and coughed but otherwise didn't respond.
"Oh come on Hina-chan don't tell you're ashleep," he slurred, a little annoyed. He poked the back of her head, gently at first, but upon seeing how she still slumbered, harder and more insistent.
"Hhhhinnnaaaa-chan, Hhhhinnnaaaa-chan. Wake up Hina-chan. Wake up, wake up, wake up wake up."
At last, after what seemed like an eternity of chanting and poking, the body stirred and moved, groaning and moaning.
"That's it Hina-chan wake up. I've got cinnamon buns from the bakery you like."
He placed his hand on her shoulder again but soon moved it down the length of her arm, relishing in the feel of her muscles and softness of her skin.
"And after we eat I was thinkin 'bout maybe doing a little shomething more . . ."
His hand finally reached his waist and reached inwards towards the center at the same time pressing his body against hers. To his surprise however, he didn't feel a smooth plane, but rather a prominent bulge.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The voice that spoke was gruff, icy, and definitely didn't belong to his Hina-chan, or any female for that matter.
"Umm," Naruto said nervously, maybe it was a trick, " I'm tryin' to be sexy and romantic like you want me to be Hina-chan?"
"It seems you are mistaken. What you're doing is not sexy and romantic, but a vile attempt at molestation and rape. In addition I am not your so called "Hina-chan." The body turned over and to the blonde's surprise and utmost horror the face that confronted him was not his Hina-chan but that of the only other Hyuuga that he knew on a personal level, Neji.
There was silence so complete that one could hear a pin drop. Then, with a sudden leap, Naruto was out of the bed, wrapped in its sheets, and clumsily colliding with pieces of furniture.
He scrambled to get out of the bed sheet but only managed to get himself tangled even further. While this happened, the branch memeber coolly surveyed the scene with neutral look on his face, activating his byakugan so he could the stranger struggle in the darkness.
After five minutes of trying to free himself of his predicament, the blonde finally did, gasping for air and what little dignity he could retain.
"Are you done acting like an idiot?"
Naruto looked upwards at the calm face gazing down on him and winced.
"Yeah."
More silence.
"What did you wish to achieve by coming here Uzumaki? As a matter of fact, how did you even manage to get in here in the first place?
The Uzumaki scratched the back of his head, "Well I was hoping to umm . . ." he didn't want a juken strike to the face because of the over protectiveness Neji felt towards his cousin so he chose to lie, "I came here for a tea party!"
Naruto mentally patted himself on the back. Girls liked tea parties and everyone knew that he and Hinata were close friends, so him being here for a tea party hosted by her didn't seem so far fetched. Right?
"Yeah that's right! Hinata invited me to a tea party. You see, the guards let me in but I took a wrong turn and-"
"Bullshit."
Naruto's eyes snapped open. Listening to a Neji, or any Hyuuga for that matter, use vulgar language was so . . . unnatural, that it warranted immediate attention.
"First off, you obviously snuck in here. The guards, who I know personally by the way, would never let an outsider in here, so you must have taken the escape tunnels to get inside. Second, any so called "tea party" hosted by Hinata-san would have planned days in advance, invites sent out and would take place in broad daylight and I definitely would've heard if she were planning something. Third, even if what you say is true, suggesting that Hinata-san would host a "tea party" in her own room, after the sun has gone day and everybody has gone too sleep, insinuates a type of behavior that is so uncharacteristic I would immediately dismiss it. Fourth . . ."
Naruto continued to listen as the jounin continued to take apart his simple excuse and systematically destroy ait, one piece at a time. He knew Neji could be an overbearing prude but this was ridiculous!
". . . So, seeing that you're reason for being here is an obvious lie, what are you doing here?"
Clearly cornered Naruto swallowed, looked down and with a deep breath rapidly spouted, "Hinata-! !"
The village hero didn't dare raise his head and look into the eyes of past enemy, fearing that he would be turned to stone if he did.
He started to sweat as he heard bed springs groan and the light thud of feet landing on wooden floor boards.
"Oh Kami he's really going to kill me!" he thought frantically.
Naruto tried to shrink into himself to provide as small a target as possible. Needless to say his attempt failed miserably and would have been useless either way.
To his surprise however, this night seemed to be full of them, he didn't feel two fingers slam into his forehead or a calloused palm strike his torso over his heart. Instead he heard the light rasping sound of sheets being dragged across the floor and again the squeak of bed springs.
Anxiously Naruto opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of Neji underneath his covers turned away from him.
Before he could inquire as to why he wasn't a slumped over corpse, the same gruff voice from earlier addressed, but this time without the icy tone.
"Everyone knows you love Hinata-san and she loves you and that you would never do anything to hurt her, which is why I'm going to let you go, this time only though. Now take your jacket and the bag and leave. You are currently in the section where the branch members are housed so Hinata's room should be on the other side of the compound. Be silent as Hiashi-san is a light sleeper."
The blonde sagged in relief and was about to voice his thanks when Neji's voice regained its iciness.
"Oh, and one more thing. If you ever, and I mean ever, get drunk or lost and molest me again, I will kill you. No excuses, no hesitation."
Seeing that this was his cue to leave Naruto quickly collected his things and bowed slightly before departing with a whispered "Thank you, I owe you one."
Underneath his covers Neji smiled.
(Epilogue, The Next Morning)
Warm sunlight streamed through open windows, also allowing in a cool breeze to flow through the building bringing smiles to every face it touched.
All in all it was the perfect setting to have breakfast.
Despite this, Hinata felt a bitter sense of disappointment inside. Naruto had promised to visit her last night and hadn't shown up. Maybe he had gotten lost in the tunnels? Maybe he had been caught by the guards? She'd have to wait after breakfast to find out.
"Good morning Neji-san."
"Good morning Hinata-san. How did you sleep?"
Hinata smiled at the acknowledgement. It was nice to finally feel appreciated after years growing up under hate filled gazes and biting comments. "I slept well last night, and you?"
"I slept well also," Neji replied with a smile on his face, "although I woke up in the middle of the night because a stray fox lost its way. With a bit of effort, I set back on the right course."
The heir to the Hyuuga clan looked confused, not sure what her cousin was implying, so she simply nodded her head turning her attention to her sister who had just arrived.
Hinata's brow creased as she noticed her sister appeared to be limping.
"Did you sleep okay little sister?"
Hanabi shook her head clearing whatever daze she seemed to have been enveloped in. "Oh I slept okay nee-chan. I just fell asleep late that's all."
The older female appeared worried for a moment but her expression gradually relaxed. "Maybe drinking tea with the snacks you eat before going to bed will help?"
It was Hanabi's turn to look worried, "I don't eat snacks before I go to bed. You get fat that way."
"Then what's that stuff at the corner of your mouth?"
Hanabi wiped her face with the back of her hand revealing that there was something on her face, something white and crusty. Her face immediately flushed a bright red color that would've given a younger Hinata a run for her money.
"O-oh that, I-I had some cinnamon buns last night, I guess I got icing everywhere. It was just a one time thing."
Suddenly there was a jarringly loud crash and all heads present turned to see the normally composed looking Neji frozen in apparent shock standing in front of a pile of broken dishes spread across the floor.
"Neji-san, all you alright? You look pale."
Across the village a certain blonde with a ripped orange jacket shivered as a feeling of dread and inescapable doom filled him.
I got this idea in a cab ride home. I hope you liked it.