Peeta Mellark was the best baker in the universe and also a heartthrob.
Katniss was a skater girl she said see you later boy. He wasn't good enough for her.
Gale was a superhot female huntress of the night but in male form.
How could these three have destinies entwined?
Well it just so happened that they fought in World War II together. They were entrenched in Germany when Katniss got shot in the boob. The boob exploded and killed her. It was tragic. The war stopped even Hitler and Joseph Stalin cried a little for the death of such beautiful boob s with a face.
Gale and Peeta were so fucking sad they literally cried into a bucket. The bucket was filled and sent to Africa. The people there had water for the next seventy five years. Their village prospered.
"Peeta" Gale whispered into the nighttime. "I am more sad about Katniss than you."
Peeta shook his head. "No my friend, I am the sadder one. I love Katniss still, her boobs were the best thing that ever happened to me."
Gale shook his head wisely. "No Peeta, you do not understand. Let me tell you the tale of how I met Katniss Everboobs. In the forest near our home in France where we were Chinese aristocrats of the Bolshevik revolution."
Gale began to tell Peeta the tale of his people.
Long ago, in the hills and glens of Francaise there lived a young boy who was me. He was handsome and noble and brooding and mysterious. There was a girl in the village who even at the young age of twelve had the sweetest boobs ever. So I decided she had to be my G-F if you no wat I mean. We used to hold hands and run through the forest. We would kill small animals with our bare hands and eat them after roasting them over the fire. We used to make up stories about our families being dead and having to hunt to keep our families alive. We made an arena out of a popcorn bowl and made frogs fight to the death with small weapons. We pretended the frogs were the people we loved and bet money on who would win. One time we pretended two of the frogs were you, Peeta, and Katniss. The frogs didn't kill each other though they mated instead which was awkward. Then we killed the frogs and ate them.
Peeta was so angry. "I totally loved Katniss more. Because I really was that frog. And I saved Katniss frog from being killed by replacing us with two other frogs. Then I hopped with her on my back to see a wizard and we got transformed into humans. That is why Katniss gave birth to my children. I impregnated her as a frog and she gave birth to hundreds of Peeta eggs."
THE END.