Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. Every person referred to in this story belongs to Shonda and ABC.
"How the hell did you get me in this position…TWICE?"
He could not watch as she threw down the kitchen towel in her hand, picked up her bag and walked out on him, without even a glance back. Then she did it. She slammed the door.
When the door was slammed shut Mark's eyes shot open and he sat up in bed. He looked over at her side of the bed but some other woman was sleeping in her place. He got out of bed, not caring what time it was. He needed to get away…away from the memories of her, the memories that were all over his apartment; in his bedroom, his bathroom, his living room (especially the couch) and most definitely his kitchen. She was everywhere but she was not there. Mark grabbed a shirt and pulled on a pair of track pants and almost ran out of the apartment; he was clueless as to where he was going. When he stepped out of the apartment complex, his body did not register the cold Seattle night air, he was numb. She had been gone for almost a year now but still he was hurting, still he longed for her, still she was the one. He turned to the right and took off in a sprint. He was running away from it all, from her and her hold on him. Five minutes later, he slowed his pace to a jog and then to a complete halt. What was he doing? Why was he running? Why was she consuming his time and energy when he was in a relationship? It was time to stop. He looked down the street in the direction he was running and he looked in the direction he was coming from, the lights from the hospital making everything visible even at the distance he was at. He turned towards home and walked back. As he began walking he felt the cold air against his face and arms and cursed himself for not finding a thicker shirt. By the time he reached the apartment complex he was freezing. He quickly bounded the stairs to apartment 501, opened the door and discarded his shirt on the couch. Mark entered the bedroom and found his girlfriend sleeping just as he had left her. He shimmied out of his pant and threw it in the general direction of the chair that was against the wall. It missed. He sighed and crawled into bed, taking the arm of the woman behind him and placed it around him hoping to steal some of her warmth. He fell asleep once more, no thoughts of his ex on his mind.
About an hour later, Mark's eyes sot open and he sat up in bed, this time Julia was up with him.
She ran her hand through her hair and looked at the pager on her night table, "It's mine. Go back to sleep."
He gave her a quick kiss before he put his head on his pillow and closed his eyes. Three minutes later, Julia was out of the apartment, he was alone again. Fifteen minutes later and he was still awake. One hour later and he was still awake. When two hours passed, Mark decided to get up. He walked with his sheet and pillow to the living room. He arranged them on the couch and stretched out. He found the remote on the couch and turned on the television. Some crappy soap opera was on; he sighed and absentmindedly followed the characters on screen.
What felt like a few minutes later, he woke up to his best friend bursting through his door with his daughter in her arms.
She stopped when she saw him, "What happened, Mark?" Callie smirked, "Julia kicked you outta bed?"
When he spoke his voice was husky and sleep-filled, "What? Oh, no. I couldn't sleep so I came out here and turned on the television. I guess I fell asleep."
Callie nodded, "Yeah. Well you look awful." She looked down at the baby in her arms, "Doesn't Daddy look awful, baby?" Sofia made a gurgling sound and her mother continued, "Yes he does. He isn't as good looking as your Mommy and your Mama is he. No he's not."
Mark looked at her concerned before pulling the sheet from his body and walking over to the two. He took Sofia from Callie's arms and kissed his child's head. "I swear, you've been spending too much time with Robbins."
Callie pulled Sofia's little pink Disney Princesses blouse, that Arizona bought, down to cover her little back. "Sure," she replied sarcastically. "You'd think being married to someone means you'd get to see them but not our marriage. Between this little one and the hospital we barely see each other, much more talk." Callie sighed, "The only time I saw her yesterday was when I carried Sof to see her Mommy while she was in surgery."
Mark looked slightly sorry for his friend, "Well that's what you get when you're married to the best Peds surgeon in the country."
Callie sighed and rubbed small circles on her baby's back while she cooed against her father's bare chest, "I guess you're right. Well I have to get going. Arizona fed her this morning so you just have to drop her at day care when you're heading in."
"Okay." He looked at his daughter, "Tell Mama bye, Sof," he was cooing to the child just as Callie had been doing earlier. He took her little hand and waved it in his best friend's direction. Callie gave the baby a few kisses before she was gone back to her apartment across the hall.
He looked down at his daughter and smiled. When he found out Callie was pregnant he was happy of course but also scared senseless as to what Lexie would say but he had put the feelings to rest. He had imagined his future with his daughter and his woman, his Lexie. But now that dream was gone and all he had was his daughter. Julia was in his life, yes, but he never…could never imagine a future with her. Mark mentally cursed himself (Callie and Arizona, particularly Arizona, would kill him if Sofia's first word was a curse word) because his thoughts had drifted back to her. He simply sighed, because there was nothing else he could do. There was a knock on the door which was opened right after and the perky blonde who lived across the hall was in his apartment.
"Wow, Cal was right! You do look like cra…awful."
Mark glared at her, "Thanks, Robbins."
She smiled her dimpled smile at him and held the bag on her shoulder towards him, "Here. Callie forgot it." She dropped the bag at his feet and tickled the baby in his arms who immediately laughed and reached for her mommy's face. "You miss Mommy? Well Mommy misses you too." She gave Sofia an Eskimo kiss, "Yes she does." When that was finished she ran her hand over the baby's soft, curly hair, "Have a super day today, okay? And be a good girl for Daddy and the day care people. I love you." Another Eskimo kiss and Arizona was gone.
Mark sat carefully on the couch, Sofia's head against his chest, and closed his eyes. They flew open again when he realized that he had no clue what time it was. He looked at the clock on the far wall. Seven fifty! He had to be at work in ten minutes and he was yet to shower. Mark got up quickly, turned off the television and did a quick change (the shower would have to wait until he was at the hospital). Five minutes later, he was out of the apartment; his phone and his pager on his waist, his daughter in his arms and her bag on his shoulder.
It was lunch time and Mark was tired and hungry. He made his way to the cafeteria and joined the line. He got his usual, a salad, a granola bar, an apple and a bottle of water. He scanned the room and found who he was looking for. He walked over to the table and noisily put down his tray. This caused three pairs of eyes to look at him, two dark brown and one clear blue.
The owner of the blue eyes spoke, "I didn't think you could have looked worse than you did this morning but obviously I was wrong."
Callie struggled to suppress her laughter as she guided a spoon of applesauce to Sofia's mouth.
"Not now, Robbins; I'm too tired," he put his head on the table and closed his eyes. Callie and Arizona looked at each other and shrugged before continuing with the conversation they were having before he came.
"So like I was saying, I had Little Grey on my service today…." At the mention of Lexie's nickname Mark groaned. There was no way he was going to get away from her. Maybe he should move back to New York. No! He was not about to let Lexie Grey make him run! He had a life here, a daughter and a job he loved, at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country. He was not going to run!
"Mark? Did you hear me?" Callie waved her hand in front of his face.
"Huh? What?"
Callie furrowed her brows, "Are you okay with us taking Sofia back to day care?"
"Yeah…sure. Go ahead." Callie nodded and Arizona smiled. He kissed the little baby and watched as they left.
A few moments later someone else was sitting beside him, "What's bothering you?"
Mark was still looking at the door that Callie, Arizona and Sofia just left through, "How do you know that something is bothering me?"
Derek smirked, "Because I've known you since forever and I gotta say you look…"
"…like crap! I know."
Derek smiled and nodded, "So what is it? It obviously has nothing to do with Sofia, Torres and Robbins. Things not going too well with Julia?"
Mark sighed, "It' Lexie."
Derek raised an eyebrow, "Lexie!"
Mark shushed him and looked around the cafeteria, "Not so loudly!"
Derek nodded and whispered, "Sorry. Lexie?"
Mark nodded, "I've been thinking about her a lot lately. Last night, or this morning or whenever, she made me run."
Derek was confused, "Huh?"
"I relived her walking out on me after I told her about Torres being pregnant and then I couldn't stop thinking about her so I put on some clothes, went outside and ran," his voice was low and it sounded as though he was hurting. "I ran until I realized that it was stupid and I couldn't let her do that to me." He folded his arm on the table and rested his head on them.
"But you still can't stop thinking about her, right?" Derek mused to his friend.
"Yeah. We've been over for almost a year now. It's time I stop thinking about her."
"You still love her." It was not a question, it was a statement. It was fact.
"I…," he settled for a sigh and let his head fall to the table once more. It made a loud thud as it hit harder than he thought it would. That was not good, seeing as Mark bruised like a peach. He raised his head and rubbed his forehead. "She's with Avery and I'm supposed to be his teacher…he's my protégée and here I am, pining over his girlfriend." He looked at Derek, "When did this become my life?"
Derek shrugged, "When you seduced my ex-wife into having an affair with you and then you chased her to Seattle hoping to win her back."
"That's not even funny, Shepherd."
It seemed as though fate was not on his side today because as soon as he had said that he heard it. He heard Lexie's laughter filter through the room. He turned to his left and saw her sitting with Avery and Karev. Thankfully her back was to him so she did not see him watching her.
"You know, watching her won't help you forget her."
He turned back to his friend, the depression even more evident on his face. He was not sure if he really wanted to get her off his mind. Maybe, just maybe Derek was right. Maybe he was still in love with Lexie. Maybe he did want her back. There were many maybes but the reality was that he could not have her and not because they were both in relationships but because she had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. Period. "I'm going to my office. Later," he took his apple before Derek could answer.
He reached his office uninterrupted by neither nurses, Attendings, Residents nor Interns. When he reached his office he locked the door and slumped into his chair. She was happy so why was he so unhappy? He had an amazing girlfriend who he really liked, two wonderful daughters and a grandson who made him feel complete and friends who would always be there for him. But something was missing and that something was Lexie Grey.
"Dammit! I'm Mark Sloan! I do not brood over women who do not want me! Hell, the only woman I've met who never wanted me was Robbins. I'm better than this!" He stood angrily the sat down slowly. He sighed. He may be better than brooding but Lexie was too hood for him. He did not deserve her and he knew it.
His pager went off and he grabbed in the general direction blindly, his hand touched wood. He turned his eyes towards the desk and grabbed for it again. Arizona was paging him for a consult. He made his way to the specified examination room on the Peds ward and walked in to see Arizona standing over a small baby. She moved aside when he entered to reveal a baby girl with a cleft lip.
"Eight months old and born with a cleft lip." He examined the tiny patient and found that it was early for the child and the procedure would be able to be carried out. He ran through the methd with Arizona who would either nod in agreement or shake her head and question him when she disagreed. He had to assure her twice that the procedure would leave a faint scar that would disappear overtime.
After the second conviction, Lexie entered the small, already crowded room. Mark was unsure as to why he did not expect her to be there, after all Arizona did say Lexie was on her service today.
"Is that it?" Mark asked hoping to leave the room as quickly as possible.
"Yeah, thanks. I'll send her chart up to Plastics later," Mark nodded and turned.
When his hand was on the door she started speaking again, "Wait! Can you and Julia keep Sofia tonight? Teddy invited us bowling for girls' night."
Mark looked up at Lexie, who was yet to acknowledge his presence, she had tensed when the question was asked but Mark brushed it off. It was all he could do to not let her and her actions bother him. "Yeah sure."
He walked out of the room and released a breath he did not know he was holding, his shoulders slumped in the process. He pulled up the sleeve of his lab coat and checked his watch, eight past two. It was too early to get a drink and he was still at work. He looked around him, there was a brunette nurse obviously trying to get his attention. When she did she smiled and flipped her hair. Usually when he was stuck in a situation like this…wait! He was never stuck in a situation like this before. So, he did what he thought was right. He lifted a hand, waved to her and was gone. He went down the hall and found the on-call room; he thanked some god that it was unoccupied. Mark kicked off his shoes and took off his coat before he fell heavily on to the small bed. He closed his eyes, draped his right arm over them and sighed contentedly. He was going to sleep and no one was going to say otherwise. Snores were soon heard reverberating throughout the small room.
Three loud thumps woke Mark from his sleep. He looked at his watch, four forty-five.
"Sloan, open the door or I'm gonna bust it down and if I do I'm gonna do a lot of damage to my hands and if that ever happens then I'm either gonna sue you or kill you and if I kill you then Sofia isn't going to have a father," Callie's voice filtered through the door above her loud knocks. "So for your daughter's sake open the door!" Mark chuckled and unlocked the door. Callie opened it and stormed in, "Why did Arizona have to call me from where I was…all the way on the other side of the hospital?"
Mark laughed, "Robbins called you?" Callie glared at him but this had no effect on the man. "What Karev couldn't handle a little door?"
"He's in surgery," she answered him coldly her arms folding across her chest. "What's been up with you today? You were sleeping on the couch, you didn't even touch your apple at lunch and now you're in Peds, of all places, sleeping for over three hours?"
"I'm just tired, Cal. I had a long night."
Callie's arms fell and she looked at him concerned, "If you want we can keep Sof. We don't have to go to girls' night."
He brushed her off with a wave of his hand, "Nah, we'll keep the little munchkin. You and Robbins need to get out more and Teddy needs the support."
Callie looked at him skeptically, "You sure? Cause we ca –"
Mark held up his hand to stop her, "Shut up. You and your wife go out and have fun tonight and I'll spend some much needed time with my daughter."
Callie smiled, "Okay. Thanks Mark."
"No problem."
Thirty minutes later Mark was walking across the street with Sofia in his arms. He took the elevator up to his apartment and opened the door to the smell of Finnish macaroni casserole baking in the oven.
"Jules?" he called out into the apartment.
She answered from the kitchen, "In here, Mark."
He slipped Sofia's bag from his shoulder and dropped his keys on the table by the door before walking into the kitchen. "Hey."
Julia turned around and smiled when she saw Sofia, "Sof!" she kissed the baby before kissing the father. "I thought Callie and Arizona had her tonight."
"Yeah they did but they got invited to girls' night with Teddy so we have her tonight." Julia nodded before shooing the two from the kitchen.
After dinner had been finished and eaten Mark took a shower. He walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. Through the open door he heard Julia singing along to the radio, he looked through the door and saw her singing the words of Breakeven to his daughter as the child looked up at the woman, her dark eyes wide with interest. That was when Mark realized it. He realized that even though he did in fact love Lexie that what he had with Julia was just as special. This woman was accepting; when Lexie walked out on him because of his daughters Julia had stayed and accepted his 'baggage'. She actually wanted to be with him, she loved him and she loved his kid and her mothers. She was right for him, not necessarily perfect (because that was Lexie) but she was what he needed at that time. Mark smiled softly; it was time for him to give his girlfriend everything and stop holding on to his ex who had obviously moved on without looking back.
Review please and thank you :)