These past few weeks have been anything but normal, sometimes I sit up at night thinking how different my life would be if the kiss didn't happen, would I have gone back to Ryan forgiven him for kissing my best friend or would I just of forgotten about him and continued my life with my best friend by my side. I honestly don't know, I don't know if I would of even figured out my feelings for Sophie if she hadn't kissed me. I thought I knew everything there was to know about my friend, we always talked about anything and everything but until that night where I had come over to apologize for believing my ass of an ex boyfriend over her I didn't know the biggest thing about one Sophie Webster, she was gay. The moment is fixed in my brain and every time I think about the girl in front of me I always seem to remember the moment where her lips touched mine for the first time. At first I was shocked and I even kissed her back at first but I was disgusted, disgusted at the thought that I could ever like a girl. I've never been homophobic but I thought I was straight, I thought I knew who I was and that moment changed everything. As if things weren't complicated enough. The kiss lasted all of ten seconds before I ran, I ran all the way home, tears falling fast, what would he do if he found out? After two weeks, being a complete bitch to Sophie and ignoring her so I could figure out what I was, I finally allowed myself to talk to her, admitting to my best friend that I had feelings for her but I was not gay. We kissed and got together, the grin appears on my face as I remember the kiss.

"What are you thinking about Sian, I know you, I know you don't grin like that unless your thinking about sex"

"Actually I was thinking about when we kissed and got together, I can't believe it was only five days ago. It seems longer" I tell my girlfriend, leaning my head down on her shoulder, closing my eyes and dreaming of mine and Sophie's future together.

"Well, it has been for me seeing as I've liked you since I met you" Sophie replies, placing a kiss on the top of my head. Me and my dad had moved to Weatherfield nine months ago after a lot of drama and even more denial of what had happened. My mum stayed on in Southport where I grew up and it sucks that I don't see her that often but I go every other weekend which is cool and the two of us go down the beach or go shopping, it's pretty cool because I am really close to my mum and she is an awesome mum, not embarrassing and doesn't treat you like a child. I know, now your asking why I'm living with my dad instead of my mum, believe me I wanted to, I didn't have much of a choice, my dad scares me. At first I was so upset that I had to move away from my friends and family, away from the town I knew but now apart from missing my mum I honestly don't care. I have Sophie and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. Maybe all the shit that's gone on in my life has led me here, in a happy relationship with the girl I love. Shit did I just say love, I mean like a lot, me and Sophie have only been together a few days. Way to soon.

"Sian Marie Powers, stop fucking off in dreamland" Sophie orders and I just grin that my Christian girlfriend said fucking. "What?"

"Baby, you just swore, that is the first time I've heard you swear and may I say it was very sexy" Sophie frowns at me and I love teasing her, she made a promise before god not to have sex until marriage! I know right, how the hell am I meant to keep my hands off of her until then. Sophie Webster is so fucking hot and I am meant to keep it PG13, not a chance in hell. I told her I wouldn't be able to manage it and she said it didn't matter if I could or not because she wouldn't let herself succumb to me. So now I just tease her and she gets annoyed with me, it's like I can tell she's having an inner struggle with herself.

"You suck"

"Baby, I'm not the one telling you that you can't have it" I place a chaste kiss on my girlfriends lips and move small kisses up to her ear. "If you want it, take it" I whisper huskily and Sophie shivers beneath me. I chuckle at her and receive a slap to the arm.

"Sian, I'm serious, I made a vow to god and no matter how much I wished I didn't right now, I can't break that" Sophie says, still frowning at me.

"Yer but you made the vow not to have sex with a guy until marriage, I'm not a guy. You said nothing about having totally hot lesbian sex with your girlfriend" I tease and begin to suck onto her pulse point on her neck.

"Sian" Sophie shouts and pushes me off of her.

Damn. I swear she does this to taunt me, I mean you should see the top she's wearing, it barley covers her breasts and the shorts are so low, showing off her perfectly tanned legs. I gaze into her chocolate brown eyes and nod to my girl, silently promising to stop my teasing, but she best stop hers because if she wears less clothing next time I see her, she will be jumped and It'll be my duty to fuck her right there! Her body beneath mine, soft skins touching mine, her breast in my mouth and my fingers inside her, while Sophie's panting my…

"Sian, stop with that thought right now" Sophie cuts my dream off, obviously I was grinning again.

"Okay fine, no really hot lesbian sex, but why can't we do some other stuff, I mean, upper body isn't a big a deal, it's not actually sex so it's allowed" I tell Sophie as I big grin comes to my face again. I reach forward and trace down from her neck down between her breasts with my fingernail. I'm not exactly one hundred percent sure how this went too be honest, I mean I'm not gay so I haven't exactly had sex with a girl before, but there's a thing called the internet which is very useful and descriptive! Okay so now I sound like a right nerd having to search lesbian sex into Google for tips, but the girl in front of me, I've never known anyone as special as her, so beautiful and no one deserves pleasure like one Sophie Webster. I know in my heart that we're forever and always but how is that supposed to work if I can't even bring her to orgasm. I mean my first time wasn't special at all, it was with Ryan Connor, or as me and Sophie like to call him: helmet head. He was all take and no give, and to be honest it hurt like a bitch! It's good that I'm never going near a guy again because I mean that first encounter is enough to turn anyone gay. I wish the next girl he's with would tell him how crap he is in the sack, wipe that permanent smug grin off of his face. Anyway that lying, cheating twat doesn't feature anymore in the Sophie Sian love story.

"Stop thinking, I'm starting to think you've got someone better up there and you're thinking of leaving me for her… sorry him. I just keep forgetting your not… it's just that I am and… never mind" Sophie rambles and I smirk at how unconfident she is about herself.

"Sophie, why would you even think there is someone out there who is even a fraction as good as you. I swear to god you are crazy" I reply, confused as to how someone as amazing as my girlfriend could ever doubt herself and in all doubting our relationship. Sophie frowns at me and I remembered that I had cursed using god's name. Okay so that is the only thing I would change, not make her not religious because I know how important Sophie's religion is to her and to take that away would take a big part of herself away, but maybe not as strong a believer because then she would still have her morals and belief but I can swear and have sex with her!

"Sian, I know it's hard for you knowing your in a relationship which would not involve sex for a few years but I really believe that waiting will make us stronger as a couple and plus sex should be between two people who love each other and are going to be together forever until I know that and am married I'm not wasting something that is only designed for one person" Sophie explains and I instantly feel guilty I've been trying to get her to have sex with me and not truly understanding the real reasons behind us waiting. "Plus I've already done something which is wrong in the eyes of god so I'm staying true to this vow" she adds and looks down at her now fidgeting hands.

"What's that?" I ask her quietly.

"I've fallen in love with a girl" Sophie replies as her brown eyes meet my blue ones. I hold her gaze, immediately getting lost in her warm deep eyes. Okay thanks, now I feel worse then before. I know Sophie is the one for me and I know she is it but do I love her just yet. I've never told anyone I love you. I didn't get a chance with Bradley before he was taken. What if I tell Sophie I love her and something happens to her, I can't risk it, I can't risk putting my heart on the line if it's going to be broken for a second time. For all of those who are mega confused right about now Bradley is not an ex boyfriend of mine, he's my, well not anymore, okay technically he is but I never got a chance to be a, Bradley is my son.

"I'm sorry" Sophie whispers, "I know your still proper confused right about now, still figuring out if your"

"I'm not gay" I spit out, standing up to turn my back on her.

"You make it sound like something really terrible. Is that what you think, being gay is horrible. So what do you really think of me then, if you think being gay is wrong because I'm gay Sian, I know I am and it scares me but I know who I am. I'm gay and I'm in love with you" Sophie repeats and I can hear the hurt in her voice, I spin around and see her watery eyes, tears threatening to fall.

"Soph, there is nothing wrong with being gay, I'm just, I'm just not gay, I know that. I'm straight and I don't know how or why I've fallen for you but I have. On the whole love aspect I um, I'm not there yet. I could be I'm not sure" I lie and I feel horrible because after Sophie confessing she's gay and now just then saying she's in love with me I know everything about the brown haired beauty but I've being lying to her since I met her and although I know my feelings for her are very strong and I'm one hundred percentage sure I'm not straight, wether I'm bi or gay I don't know but I'm not showing a vulnerable side to my girlfriend. No way am I putting myself out there like that again. I'm not sure if I could deal with getting my heartbroken for a second time in the space of a year.

"Yer because everyone's totally going to buy that when they find out about us" Sophie mutters sarcastically.

"No one need to know, well at least not Soph, can we just wait until we finish school and then I'm moving in with my mum and I know she would be cool about all of this but you know my dad he wouldn't" I plead desperately, knowing as soon as school was out she was out of here, my dad couldn't do anything then, if I want Bradley I can. I know my mum has always wanted me to keep him and she knows I did to, if only my stupid that was dead. I sit back down on the couch and take Sophie's hand in between both of mine, giving it a gently squeeze.

"No Sian I don't know about your dad because I've never met him. I've known you ten months and you haven't introduced me, not even as your best friend. Plus you never talk about him, you just tense up and change the subject whenever I ask about your dad or your home life. Also when we're you going to tell me that your planning on moving back to Southport when school's out" Sophie says, raising her voice slightly and I can tell I've well and truly pissed her off. Damn. My girl's clever, see if it was the other way around I honestly wouldn't of picked out these things, that's not to say I don't pay attention because believe me I do. My girl is so breathtakingly beautiful every time I look at her I have to try and not get lost into her eyes. It's just that I'm not very clever, understatement of the year. I'm dyslexic and very dumb, I'm pretty much failing everything. Except sport, yer I'm good at phys ed, I'm fast and am good at most sports, everyone knows not to get on the wrong side of me but that's because I'm strong. My whole life I've resorted to using a punch bag and I know I have major anger issues which no one seems to be able to get to the bottom of well of course he knows, he's the reason behind it all.

"I'm sorry baby, how about when my dads next home I'll introduce you to him and maybe if you give me a bit of time I will be able to explain a few things, about my dad, me and my past" I compromise, knowing the chances of me actually keeping to this is very slim.

"Like the fact that you have an anger issue" see I told you, everyone knows about it and I've cracked my knuckles like four times from punching walls instead of punching people. Sophie is the only one I have never gotten angry with, she just brings this serenity with her, this calmness and I'm a better person when I'm with her. It's like she brings out the person I want to be, maybe could be.

"Soph, seriously drop it. It has nothing to do with you" I tell her angrily and clench my fists tightly, trying to calm myself down. This is the first time I had ever gotten angry at her, I knew it wouldn't last long.

"Yer it does, not only are you my girlfriend but you hit my sister" Sophie reminds me and I can't help but chuckle at that memory.

Flashback:

I was meeting Sophie's parents for the first time, me and her had only known each other for a few weeks but it's like although we are completely different people, coming from completely different worlds, we sort of balanced each other out. She was calm and relaxed and I was sarcastic and a rebel. I was nervous because Kevin and Sally Webster were strict people and I wanted them to like me and if they didn't they might forbid Sophie from seeing me and that would make living in this stupid town even worse.

Me and Sophie were upstairs in her room and I had nicked her sisters hair straightners to straighten Sophie's hair when her sister Rosie entered the room and I could tell by her face in Sophie's mirror she was pissed.

I spin around and put on an innocent face and stick my hand out to Rosie.

"You must be Rosie, Sophie speaks fondly of you, I'm Sian it's lovely to meet you" I say politely, and I can hear Sophie let out a small giggle from her chair.

"Cut the crap you tramp, I know you probably can't afford GHD'S like this in your trailer but I'm a model I work hard for my money to buy nice things"

"Yer I mean it takes real talent to get naked and to put on a constipated face, seriously though your talent should be applauded, did you even finish school bitch?" I ask, my face now sporting a smug grin and I can tell how much Rosie wants to hit me.

"Yer I did and like my sister here I am actually very clever, unlike you I hear your flunking out of well everything, dyslexic I hear. When I was in school they just called it plain stupid" Rosie hits back with a grin.

I flip out and swing my fist quickly connecting with her nose, hard enough to produce blood.

"You skank. I'll be watching you bitch" Rosie states and takes her straightners and leaves the room.

Me and Sophie just burst out laughing and let's just say that dinner was very interesting.

Flashback ends:

"Come on baby, you have to admit that was pretty funny" I try but Sophie just glares back at me. Oh shit now she's really pissed at me.

"Sian, why can't you let me in?" Sophie asks quietly and I can tell how hurt she is that I can't trust her.

"Give me time, I will Sophie, soon I'll let you know everything but for now can you please forgive me and perhaps allow me a make out session?" I grin cheekily and receive another playful slap on the arm. My girl is violent sometimes, I swear she always hits me, maybe I'm rubbing off on her. Oh know, I now officially feel sorry for the Webster's because they actually care about Sophie unlike my dad who doesn't care about me.

"I suppose I could allow you a very short make out session, but you have to be nice to me for the rest of the night" Sophie informs me and I just nod and lean forward to capture her lips in mine. Our lips move gently against each other but as soon as I go to deepen it she pulls back.

"Sian, Sian wait. I'm sticking by my decision and I am not going to have sex with you" Sophie repeats for like the thirtieth time in the last few days.

"I know baby, but like I said before upper body fondling is not sex" I smirk and lie on top of her my lips quickly sucking on her pulse point. Sophie tries to fight it but eventually gives in as the sweet sound of her moans fill the room.

"Sian, the guys are coming round in"

I freeze as I get off my girlfriend to see my dad standing furiously in the doorway.