Hello everyone! I haven't written a fic in a very long time and I am very new to this fandom so please be gentle. This is a revised first chapter! That's all I have to say. Enjoy!
Face to face, but miles away
Building trenches out of empty spaces
Lay here, next to me
And close the distance in between
-War Paint, Kelly Clarkson
The cold was unfamiliar to Rey.
It used to be near impossible to touch the shell of old ships that had sat in the sand under the sun for decades. More than one scavenger on Jakku had singed their fingerprints off that way. She remembered racing to the shade that the inside provided, though. The nice, cool interior that helped her stay sane.
Now the frigid cold interior of her ship stung. She shied away from it.
Rey stared at the map of the galaxy, imagining what would happen if she just...punched in the coordinates for Jakku. Of course she couldn't do that, not with the whole Resistance on board. All...twelve of them. But to be completely honest, Rey wasn't sure what she was doing here. She wasn't sure what the Resistance was doing at all, actually.
She laughed in defeat before burying her head in her head in her hands. She ignore the sound of approaching footsteps, choosing instead to wade in her expanding pool of self-pity.
"Rey?"
Well, great. Now she had to look up. She couldn't just ignore the General.
"General Organa, how can I help?"
To Rey's intense surprise, the general snorted. "Please. I've been stuck in a meeting with our remaining leadership trying to figure out how we can help the Resistance. Unfortunately, we've got squat." General Organa was such a regal person, so it always surprised Rey when she used words like 'squat'. "How have you been holding up, my dear?"
Leia's concern touched her. "I'm...fine. Cold. It seems to be very cold everywhere I go."
Leia laughed, reaching up into the overhead storage. She handed Rey a blanket and imparted her sage wisdom, "After Jakku, you'll probably be cold your entire life." Now Rey snorted. Great. She sighed as she stared out into the galaxy.
"Honestly, I've been wondering if I should just go back. Of course I'm always happy to help the Resistance but I'm...homesick?" She looked questioningly at Leia. She wasn't sure that was quite the right word. Jakku hadn't really been a home, had it? It was more a place she was dropped and abandoned and waited her entire life to be retrieved from. That's not a home, that's a...well it's a prison. But a warm prison.
The General seemed to agree. "A place like that? Sorry to say, but I can't even imagine missing it. The practice of selling and buying people. Slavery. I just don't understand how that practice still exists."
"Well, as far as I'm aware, that's a practice that has always been there. Republic, Empire, New Republic, First Order. Doesn't matter," Rey admitted.
Leia nodded slowly. "A lot of scrap there too, as I'm sure you're very aware. Old ships, weapons, parts…"
Rey stared at the General quizzically as she trailed off. "General?"
"Rey, you know the coordinates for Jakku, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Plug them in."
Poe Dameron was not pleased. Poe Dameron hated the heat. Poe Dameron also hated Jakku. Oh, how Poe Dameron hated Jakku.
"I'm sorry, General, we're doing what?"
Leia sighed and closed her eyes against the barrage of "advice" that was about to come her way.
"If I can remind you, General, the First Order is more than able to appear on Jakku any time they please. They've done it before, I don't know why we're not assuming they'll do it again."
"Commander, they went to Jakku with the sole purpose of finding the map to my brother. The map is no longer there because we now have it. My brother is also now dead, so the point would be moot." Poe shrank back from Leia's sharp gaze. She was right of course. The First Order had zero reasons to return to Jakku for anything. Poe Dameron just really hated Jakku.
Leia directed her attention back to the rest of her people. "As I was saying, the Resistance will begin to rebuild on Jakku. There are ships that can be fixed, weapons that can be collected, and most importantly, slavery that can be ended. What good are we to galaxy if we protect them from bad governance, but not bad practices?" The crowd muttered their agreement. "Now, Jakku is obviously a desert planet, and extremely hot. We will have to send a group out periodically to collect supplies, including water, but in all I believe this may be a fortuitous venture. Carry on."
Everyone dispersed, but Leia called out to Rey. Turning to face their leader, Rey sensed something was off. There was...discomfort? Anxiety? "General, what's wrong?"
With a sad smile, Leia sat, and gestured for Rey to do the same. "I keep thinking about what you told me. Republic, Empire, New Republic, First Order...there has always been slavery on Jakku." Rey was very unsure as to where this was going. "My father was born into slavery, you know." Rey was very much not expecting that.
"I...I didn't know. Anakin?" Leia nodded. "Where?"
"Tatooine." Of course. Rey had heard Tatooine was very much like Jakku in some ways.
"But he was born in the times of the Republic, wasn't he?" Leia nodded. "So slavery has been...prevalent in the galaxy." Leia nodded again. Rey laughed harshly. They were a bunch of Freedom Fighters fighting for a system that didn't demand freedom. Wonderful. In her bitterness, Rey admitted "General, I have to say, I'm not entirely sure what we're fighting for." It didn't seem right anymore. Maybe Ben was right. Maybe it was time to let old things die. Her mind wandered back to the throne room, wondering if she made a mistake. Maybe Rey and Ben could be good for the galaxy.
Rey shook herself free of that thought. Rey and Ben could help build something new and good, that's true. But Rey and Kylo Ren…Kylo Ren couldn't build anything good. He wanted dictatorship supported by the First Order's own form of slavery. But Rey and Ben…
Leia looked Rey in the eye and said steadily, "Go on," snapping her out of her reverie.
Rey sprang up and started stalking around the cabin. "Here we are, risking everything to bring the New Republic back into power, fighting the First Order, claiming to spark the Light that will once again end the Dark. Leia, what Light? I have been a slave for as long as I can remember, your father was born a slave, and these were both in times of...what are we even going to call it? Peace? Prosperity? Democracy? Leia, I think I have found the people I truly care about. You. Finn. Poe. I fight for you. I fight for them. I can't see them die or suffer, but I can't lie to myself either. That's all I'm fighting for. This, what we're trying to save? Not worth it. Republic, First Order, what's really the difference? It's not like either of them would've ever fought for me." Rey's eyes were wild as she paced back in forth, spewing her thoughts. Her blood ran cold as she looked at Leia. "What makes the Resistance good? That it's Light? I thought the good thing about light was that it helped people to see. And yet no one saw me."
Tears welled up in Rey's eyes as she stared Leia down. She would not cry. She could not cry. If she was going to drown in self-pity in front of her distinguished General she was going to do it with dignity.
"You're right."
Rey's eyes widened. "I'm...what?"
"You're right. The Republic had many, many problems. And if we fight for it now, those problems will not go away. I think it's time for the Resistance to try another tactic. On Jakku."
"I don't understand, General…"
"We're going to liberate Jakku. No more slaves. We will go there, rebuild, recruit, and destroy slavery. How can we call ourselves freedom fighters when we make no move to insist that those we fight for are free?"
Now the tears began to fall. This woman was so good. So good. And maybe a mind reader?
"That I can fight for."
Leia smiled. "Good. I also have an inkling that this war is going to change its course. Snoke is dead. My son rules in his place. That's something we can work with."
"How do you mean?"
"My brother isn't the only one I can sense. Ben Solo. I feel him strongly. Now more than ever, which means Kylo Ren is dying."
Now Rey was lost. "I'm sorry, I don't follow. Kylo Ren is Ben Solo. So isn't Kylo your son? Couldn't you feel Kylo?"
Leia's eyes hardened. "Kylo Ren was not my son. He engulfed my son. But now my son is breaking free. Kylo Ren only formed because of Snoke's manipulation. Snoke is now dead. I don't know what Ben will do, but he is a Skywalker. And a Solo. And if we can find him and ensure his return, I think an alliance is possible. A melding of factions. I don't think the Dark will ever be driven from my son for good, I can feel it in him. But I'm not sure I want it to be. As you said, the Light hasn't been much worth protecting. But…" Leia trailed off, her eyes lingering on Rey's face.
Rey started to fidget. She didn't like that look. "But what?"
"But they could blend."
Rey began to understand. "The New Republic and the First Order. The Light and the Dark. Together?" Leia nodded. "Grey." Leia nodded once more. Rey paused as she remembered something she very much didn't want to remember, but couldn't seem to forget. "Darkness rises and light to meet it."
Leia quirked an eyebrow. "Whoever said that is very wise."
"Snoke said that."
"Then maybe Snoke and I should have chatted."
Both ladies let out quick laughs, the younger very nearly giddy. Maybe this time Rey could offer her hand to Ben Solo.
Poe Dameron was not pleased. Poe Dameron hated the First Order. Poe Dameron also hated Kylo Ren. Oh, how Poe Dameron hated Kylo Ren.
"You're sending Rey where?"
Leia sighed. This was never going to get easier. "Rey is going on a diplomatic mission. She will speak with my son."
"She will speak with Kylo Ren, you mean," Poe spat.
"No, Commander," Leia snapped. "She will speak with my son."
Poe turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. Leia glanced at Rey. "You're sure you're up for this?"
"Let me do it, General." Rey's resolve was firm. She had yet to tell Leia about the bond. She wasn't sure it was entirely relevant, to be honest. It couldn't be controlled. But in this instance, it might be helpful.
"If you're sure. We have no way of contacting him unfortunately, so you may be going in blind. I'm not sure what you'll find when you arrive." The worry in the General's voice made Rey smile. She was worth worrying about. It was a nice feeling.
"Don't worry, General. Give me time. I'll go when it's right."
Leia had no idea what that meant, but so many bizarre events had surrounded this girl since she first joined their force that she didn't even bother asking. She just nodded and patted Rey's shoulder. "Well, just make sure to give me a heads up. Don't just disappear into the night on me."
Rey smiled. "I won't, Leia."
Finn balked in the corner. "I'm sorry General, what? Your plan is to send Rey into the First Order ranks unannounced? She'll be killed!"
Leia's eyebrow quirked in amusement. "I don't think that's true, Finn. I have the distinct feeling that my son would never lay a hand on Rey…in anger." Rey blushed heavily. What exactly had the General felt? Was Rey missing something about her own Force bond? There was no way. "I think Rey believes that too. I hear no objection from her."
"I will admit I may have done it before," Rey muttered. Leia laughed affectionately and told everyone to clear out. Rey needed to rest.
Instead, she began to fiddle with a few dials that really didn't need to be fiddled with, pulling the blanket Leia gave her closer around herself.
She may be able to fix this. The New Republic was broken. Hell, the old Republic was broken. So was the Empire. So was the First Order. So was the Resistance. History repeated itself when it wants someone to try and get it right. So she would try.
Suddenly the world seemed to disappear into a vacuum and snap into place all at once. She slowly turned around to see Ben Solo facing her. She held her breath. She didn't think it would be this soon. Fuck, she just closed a door in his face.
"Hello, Rey." At least he was starting civil.
"Hello, Ben." He winced at the name but he...he didn't correct her. "Your mother and I have been...chatting."
His expression darkened considerably. This he did not like to hear. "Of course you have been. You chose her over me."
Biting her lip, she considered his mood. Was this the right time to bring this up? Well, it had to be. She had no way of knowing how soon she would get this chance again and the war needed to end.
"What if...I changed my mind?"
His world stopped. Ben bore into Rey's eyes, trying to detect insincerity. He saw none. But he could feel the Light emanating from her very being. This woman was not about to join the Dark Side.
He wanted this. He wanted her. Fuck, he wanted her. By his side, in his bed...these thoughts swirled inside him as he considered her question. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order and she rejected him. Left him on the ground to clean up their mess so she could rescue a faction of rebels. How could he welcome her back? But how couldn't he?
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Ben, I need you to hear me out. But I can't rely on this stupid bond thing because it's screwed us over before. I am requesting a meeting. A diplomatic meeting. I will represent the Resistance, you the First Order."
Ben sneered. A what? "A diplomatic meeting? Rey, you can't be serious. The Resistance is done. Fucking over. Why would I consider this meeting? What could I possibly gain?"
"Me."