Chapter 1 – The Truth
"All love is lies."
'That's right…that's the truth I picked on that day. Otherwise…what have these past ten years been for?' As Ichijou stepped out of the restaurant, a water droplet rolled down the side of her face. She tilted her face up towards the sky and watched as tiny snowflakes gently landed on her head. 'Oh…it's snowing.' Her heart raced inexplicably as she made her way down the street back to the train station. Her pace began to speed up and as she turned the corner, she sped into a run. 'It's cold right now, I need to get home quickly.'
"What did he say again? He said he didn't want me ending up like him. And that he blew it because he was worried about his future and appearances and lots of stuff…"
'Liar!'
"But that ultimately, what matters is your feelings."
'Liar!'
Going at the pace that she was going, and not looking at what was in front of her, she was bound to run into something. Before she even knew what happened, she was on her back in the snow. The pain momentarily snapping her out of her jumbled thoughts. "I'm so sorry, I didn't look where I was…"
'Liar…'
"Ichijou?" The bleach purple haired man slowly got up and gave her a concerned look. His face never showed much, but the emotions were all there in his eyes. Ichijou shook her head as she tried to get rid of the random thoughts that were surfacing in her mind. "Are you okay? What were you doing running around like that?"
"Haha, sorry about that, still a little clumsy as always," said Ichijou quickly as she put on a fake smile. "I'm about to miss my train so I can't really stop and talk. I'll see you at the office on Monday." The words felt like they were getting stuck in her throat; she was having trouble making any eye-contact and her fake smile felt like it was about to collapse any second now.
"Hey, slow down, you're…" As she was about to walk away, a sharp pain shot up her foot and made her stumble forward. "Hurt." Just as she was about to fall, Motoi reached out and caught her in his arms. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again. There was a moment of silence between them as Ichijou stayed still.
Finally, Ichijou broke the silence and pushed away from Motoi, the force was a little bit more than she intended and it sent him stumbling back a few steps. "I'm fine, just a little tired from all that running. I'll be fine after I rest a little, you don't have to wait or anything." She didn't hear an answer from Motoi but she knew, even without looking, that he was giving her an unconvinced stare.
'Please…just leave me…I can't…not right now…'
Motoi sighed deeply, "You probably don't know this but…every time you lie, you look off to the side." She didn't know how to respond to that, she tried to think up of excuses but nothing came to her mind. The only thing that was on her mind was the revelation that Nejima dropped on her. The only thing that she could think of was the man in front of her. And the only thing she wanted to do…
Suddenly, Motoi slung her arm around him and supported her body with his shoulders. "I'm carrying you to the hospital."
"N-No, you don't need to do that."
"Shut up."
"W-What?"
"You're clearly not in your right mind, maybe you even hit your head and got a concussion. Even if nothing else, you still have a sprained ankle that needs medical attention."
"This is abduction! Kidnapping!"
"Tell the manager then," said Motoi as he turned at her and smiled. "Maybe I'll get my pay docked."
"Let's tell the school board."
"What? Will it get us less homework?"
"Her pay'll get docked."
"Ahaha! What?! You're so gloomy, Motoi!"
"That's so gloomy, Motoi…" whispered Ichijou.
"You remember…"
"I remember everything." Her statement was like a hot knife that was plunged straight into his heart. A torrent of emotions that wrenched it but at the same time made it race. What did she mean by that? Did it mean anything at all?
Instead of brooding over it, Motoi decided to do what he regretted he never did, and that was to do what he felt was right. Not what he thought he should do, not what society would want him to do, but what he wanted to do. "Are you happy?"
The question stunned Ichijou and made her eyes grow wide. She turned her head and saw an expression that she had never seen before. A serious yet mellow expression that had eyes that burned brightly compared to his calm demeanor. "My husband and I are going to try for a child."
She didn't know where the question came from, nor did she know why she answered it that way. At the back of her mind, she thought that it was a very cruel thing to say yet it was probably the right thing to say. "That's not what I asked."
A nervous laugh came out of her, she wasn't expecting that response at all. "What are you talking about? Of course I'm happy, otherwise, why would I be doing it with him?"
"You weren't happy the first time we did it."
Once again Ichijou found herself at a loss for words; she suddenly felt tears pricking at her eyes and anger bubbled up inside of her. "What do you want me to say? That I'm utterly miserable with my assigned partner and that I want to be with you? Well, guess what, I'm perfectly happy right now and we're going to have a yukari kid and she's going to be happy and she'll marry her assigned partner and they'll be happy!" Her voice trembled as she tried to catch her breath, "By what right do you have in asking if I'm happy?! Worry about yourself first!"
Motoi remained silent as he lowered his head and hid his eyes behind his bangs. "We're here," he said quietly as he carefully separated himself from her and took a step back. "I'm sorry for asking." With that said, he turned and walked back the way they came from, leaving Ichijou alone in front of the hospital. She could not help but stare at his back as his figure became smaller and smaller.
Then, all of a sudden, all of the emotions that she had been suppressing spilled out at the same time. The anger flushed out of her system all at once and what replaced it was a mixture of sadness and loneliness. Tears fell out none stop and her whole body felt like it was going to break under all these emotions. She began recalling the last time she felt this way; the night of her 16th birthday, the day she broke up with Motoi and chose her assigned partner over him.
"I…love you, Motoi. If you marry me…I'll refuse the notice."
'If you had said yes…would I be happy right now?'
