I originally had this idea for this story the day Chris Cornell died. I've been trying to get it right ever since. I originally wrote it in my notebook just for myself, more as therapy than anything else. It had been a long time since I'd written any fan fiction at all. I took it on holiday with me and my friend Vaira INSISTED first on reading it and then on me posting it. So really you have her to thank for this. She also did me the honour of helping me edit the final product, for which I am eternally grateful. This story will be 4 chapters, it's dedicated to Vaira and "Like a Stone" is a song sung by Chris Cornell of Audioslave.

Chapter 1

The sun was setting rapidly as she unlocked the heavy, aged door and carefully stepped inside one of her childhood memories.

Grimmauld Place had sat abandoned since soon after the final battle, having been scourgified and cleaned before being put in a final stasis spell, locked and forgotten.

Looking around, it brought back a flood of memories. The weight in her chest seemed to settle heavier upon her. Breathing a sigh of the musty air, she pushed back her memories and made her way up the old staircase. She walked quietly out of habit, so as not to disturb a certain portrait which no longer hung in the entrance way.

Up the stairs it was almost completely dark. The grime on the outsides of the bedroom windows let very little of the fleeting light of sunset into the house. She pushed stray curls from her face as she made her way from feel and faded muscle memory through the house and finally, up into the attic. She conjured a small ball of blue light to find the object she had come for. A small smile played on Hermione's lips when she found it sitting right where she remembered it, in the corner. If Walburga Black had ever known it was kept up here she would have had a fit.

With a quick wave of her wand she had several of the half melted candles lit around the room and she pulled a small bag out of her pocket. Quickly. she unshrunk the cardboard sleeves and chose a piece of vinyl without even looking at it. She smoothly set it on the record player and smiled when it cheerily lit up as she set the needle to the first track.

Humming quietly, she went to the window next and pulled the large pane completely open. A rush of night air filled the room and she felt her shoulders ease for the first time today.

She accioed a crystal tumbler from the kitchen and searched around until she found Sirius' hidden stash of fire whiskey. She poured a shot into the glass and downed it before pouring two fingers and conjuring some ice. It clinked pleasantly against the glass as she placed it on the windowsill, exhaling as the slow burn of the whiskey made its way down her body.

A cool breeze shifted her hair and she closed her eyes, savoring the still calm of the empty house and the quiet evening. She could almost feel her heart rate decrease, but even in the stillness, it did nothing to do ease the deep rooted sadness buried in her chest.

She leaned against the frame of the window as her eyes pricked with tears.

On a cobweb afternoon

in a room full of emptiness

by a freeway I confess

I was lost in the pages

of a book full of death

reading how we'll die alone

and if we're good we'll lay to rest

anywhere we want to go

Hermione breathed out a sigh and took a sip of her drink, placing it carefully on the table beside her. "He's dead you know. They found his body this morning. Initial reports are saying that it was a suicide." She spoke with her eyes closed, confessing the newest thing that had been weighing on her mind.

The sound of clinking ice against a glass broke the silence that had fallen on the room. Her eyes snapped open, narrowing in suspicion first at her glass on the sill and then to the source of the noise.

There he was, the silver of the rising moon catching in his long hair. He was reclined with his back to the windowsill with one leg resting on the top. A tumbler of fire whiskey in one hand. He looked at her then, his silver eyes caught hers in a way that made her breath catch.

"Who died?" he asked, his voice quiet.

She shook her head ,a grim smile gracing her features. Imagining him for a bit of company… He's gone Hermione. But she was almost thankful to her inner psyche for the company.

Swallowing her rush of emotions she said "Chris Cornell." and motioned with her glass to the record player.

He nodded and took another sip. Ice clinking. "Always the ones that seem to have their shit together. Too many years of hiding."

In your house I long to be

room by room, patiently

I wait for you there

like a stone

I wait for you there

alone

"Not sure why I'm here really. I guess this is the last place I saw a record player and I knew you liked him too. The boys never got Muggle music." She shrugged and sent him wry smile. "I've missed you Sirius" she confessed.

"How long has it been?" he asked his voice quiet. She almost wished he would speak up. Maybe then this would seem more real.

"Almost 10 years."

He nodded, "So long, why come back now? Are you alright?"

Tearing her eyes from his still form, she picked up her glass and downed the remnants before picking up the dusty bottle and filling the glass again. "I'm not sure," she confessed to her glass, "I'm having a conversation with a dead man whom I'm quite sure I'm imagining."

She glanced at him where he sat. He was wearing a brown leather jacket and black jeans. He looked healthier than she remembered when he had been alive. His white button down shirt was open just enough to show off the tattoos on his chest. He saw her looking and raised his eyebrows.

"Unless you're a ghost?" she added.

He barked a laugh, "Do you really think I'd choose to hang around this hell hole for eternity? I was locked up long enough love." His eyes sparkled.

"Good. So we've established I'm crazy then." Hermione countered shaking her head.

"We've established that you're dodging the question."

She sighed, "I'm ok, I just seem to be having problems… Moving on." she said with a pointed glance to Sirius. "It's been 10 years Sirius, I've tried multiple jobs, multiple houses, multiple men and I've never felt like I could stop. Like I was safe. So I just keep moving. Everyone else is ok. Harry is good, he's settled down with Ginny. He's got beautiful children and he's been working as an auror.

Ron is off in Romania with Charlie. He's really taken to the work." She shrugged and glanced up, "And me? I feel safer in this house than I have felt in ages."

On my deathbed I will pray

to the gods and the angels

like a pagan to anyone

who will take me to heaven

to a place, I recall

I was there so long ago

the sky was bruised

the wine was bled

and you led me on

Silence stretched, "It's fucked up, I know."

"Hermione what's fucked up is seeing you like this. Of course it's hard to adapt. You grew up in a war. I never felt the same about anything after Azkaban and then life on the run."

"But if feels like nothing has changed."

"You're seeing things now so that's different." He quipped.

She laughed, "Just wonderful Sirius Black! I'm regressing."

"But you get to see me, no bonus points for that?"

She snorted, "Most definitely."

She took another sip of her drink and leaned her chair back, her head swimming with a small buzz. She made sure to keep one eye on her best friend's long dead Godfather.

A large bronze lion head ring glinted off of the light of the moon as he took a sip of his own drink, eyeing her warily as well.

In your house, I long to be

room by room, patiently

I wait for you there

like a stone

I wait for you there

alone

"I miss nights like this, listening to music and just relaxing. There's too much going on out there. Too many steps being taken. Steps that could impact the future enough to start another war- Everyone has settled, but I can't believe in my heart that this is the end. I don't know if I can just let it go."

A cool night breeze lifted her hair and she closed her eyes, somewhere someone's yard had a flowering jasmine bush and the smell did more than she wanted to admit to relax her shoulders.

"We never will." His voice cut through the silence, sad and soft.

She nodded without opening her eyes. "I know." She shifted as she heard his glass clink.

"So why can't I just be happy with peace now?"

"Because you lived it Hermione."

She opened her eyes to look at him then. He had been watching the moon rise, his face cloaked in silver light. He felt her gaze on him and scrutinized her with a wry smile.

"It's going to take something larger than the war to make you move on from it. Harry had Ginny, Ron had… Well dragons apparently."

"What about you?"

He barked a laugh and reclined against the windowsill, "Unfair question. I haven't had peace since I was sixteen." He sobered for a moment as he thought about it, the moon putting his face in stark contrast. He looked like a ghost then and she watched his chest move up and down in a sigh, "Probably Harry. To me Harry was bigger than anything else. Given the chance I would have died to show him a taste of being a kid, of what James and his family did for me. By the time I found him, it already felt too late."

And on I read

until the day was done

and I sat in regret

of all the things I've done

for all that I've blessed

and all that I've wronged

In dreams until my death

I will wander on

"It wasn't too late Sirius. He loved you. You reminded him that he had a family. Not just the Dursleys, but people who gave a genuine fuck about his well-being."

"And just when there may be a chance at really being there for him, I fall through a bloody curtain."

"It certainly wasn't fair but..." She looked at him, studying his furrowed brow and sharp searching eyes. Her eyes slid down to the lion glinting on his middle finger.

"You think he needed it." He concluded for her.

She pulled her gaze up from his ring, meeting his eyes, "In a way yes… It lit a fire in him that he really needed to push forward."

Sirius nodded slowly, and took another drink, closing his eyes as he savored the burn of the whiskey. "At least my life wasn't an entire waste then." he whispered.

In your house, I long to be

room by room, patiently

I'll wait for you there

like a stone.

I'll wait for you there

alone

She tipped her head back and drained her glass, placing it down gently before leaning back against the wall. Her head buzzing and her mouth getting just a little bit dry.

The buzz was pleasant, not disorientating. It was just enough that she forgot she was sitting with a memory that her imagination had conjured up for her to try and pull her out of her inexplicable misery. She felt calm, centered, and relaxed. Her eyes drooped as exhaustion hit her all at once.

She opened her eyes and smiled to see that he was still sitting there. She felt at ease with him there, like all the right pieces were put together and she could relax.

She smiled to herself, that's the alcohol talking she berated.

He saw her staring and smiled back, his eyes sparkling with good humour. He put his glass down and reclined on the windowsill.

"Don't mind me love. I'm just enjoying the evening." His gaze moved out the window, even through her drowsy state and his reassuring smile she caught the hint of sadness his voice was tinged with. Hermione noted it dully before succumbing to the pull of a light sleep.

She started awake, grasping at the strings of dreams she had been engaged in, and unsure of what had pulled her from them.

Almost immediately she remembered where she was, her wand hand twitched to where she had it tucked away into her jacket. Her eyes blinked open and swung to the windowsill where Sirius' dark shape still sat.

He looked over at her and he sent her a reassuring smile, "Morning love" he stated, and she looked past him to the lightening mauve sky.

Cool fog hugged the garden below, but the chill coming from the window was cool and refreshing as opposed to cold. He was still here. She thought for sure that she had dreamed him in her inebriated state.

"Sirius" she breathed.

He nodded sending her a tight-lipped smile and turning towards the window just as the sun peeked over the horizon. It doused them both in golden light. In the light of day he looked almost translucent and she couldn't help but stare as he slowly faded away into thin air.

She shook her head and stared at the spot he had been just seconds ago. She tried to process the scene she had just witnessed.

It must have been in her head, she reasoned. What other explanation could there be?

Uncomfortable with the weight of her conclusion, she wrapped her arms around herself and stood. She turned her back to the window and swiftly gathered her things. The house had turned eerie in the golden bath of sunrise and she left the estate swiftly with her head still reeling.

Thanks for reading, stay tuned for chapter 2.