Just Jane.

If Edward Cullen calls himself masochistic what does that make me?

Cruel? Evil? A Monster? The bane of every Vampires existence? Lucifer!

I wasn't always as I am now but when my heart beat for the last time this was the path I saw for myself I didn't WANT to be evil but we are all pawns of fate I didn't ask for my gift I didn't even want my gift but now when I look back it was always the gift I would have.

When I was human I grew up the lion cub living with a herd of elephants, the Elephants were my brothers. I think they loved me they wanted to protect me but they also found it funny to aggravate me to wind me up to call me names, I have always been petite so I couldn't fight back when I got angry I scratched and bit them but although they were teasing me I got in trouble I was told it wasn't proper ladylike behaviour and that whatever they had done I left the scars on them, that was my cruel life I grew up being teased by my four older brothers but what could I do? Nothing! I had Always wished I could hurt them they were cruel they tried to protect me from people and the outside world but what they couldn't do was protect me from their constant bullying.

I was brought up by my mother who waited hand and foot on my father and brothers whilst they were out having fun and learning important things I stayed at home with my Mother learning how to sew and cook and clean I didn't have freedom. I was a young girl all I wanted was fun the only way I could enjoy myself was by reading I read love stories thinking about my future how one day I would find the right man for me but when I became sixteen my father told me I was to be married. When I found out I screamed and shouted I tried to run away but they always found me. This wasn't right I was supposed to fall for the handsome prince but instead I am to be married to Sir Thomas Cooper, he was rich but he was also fat, ugly and almost sixty! Then ten days before the wedding my mother was murdered they never found the murderer but her corpse was found drained of blood with a single cut above her collar bone opening a major artery, around the cut was a purplish bruise as if a lot of pressure had been put on the cut fracturing her collar bone. My brothers and fathers unsettled by the murder and the wedding was postponed. I was the only one who was unfazed by the murder it's not that I didn't care it's that when I was five I accepted that everyone dies and no one will get any where my mourning, I thought I could be me next we all die, so my Mother wasn't an exception. When I look back I always think it's funny the reasons I didn't get upset over things like death I still believe mourning a death is trivial and pointless but for other reasons I am wiser and stronger now I understand now that not everyone dies but the only people who matter will not die so why should I be upset If some one dies it's not like they are important the only people who matter is my coven the most powerful coven in the world we are unstoppable. We alone cannot be vanquished we are the hunters not the hunted.

After my mother's death I withdrew myself from my mourning family I stayed in my room reading thinking. I wished I was special I read about people with gifts and special talents I always imagined that if I was special my talent would be amazing that it would be a deep gift that I could change emotions or manipulate them or possibly like Aro I could read thoughts but deep down I always knew if I was gifted my gift would be the ability to spread pain and misery I would be the cause of the pain not the cure like I had always imagined. Finally I cracked I couldn't take it I hated myself the way I didn't care my selfish attitude, I wanted to escape the constant reminders of what a monster I was so I ran I fled the house in the dead of night and the rest of the day I spent searching for shelter in the forest. That night after running deeper into the forest after hearing the voices of Thomas and my father searching for me I found him.

He was stood in a clearing completely still staring into the depths of a small fire at his feet, he wasn't event breathing. As I drew closer he turned and stared me, I gasped suddenly unable to breathe. He was the most beautiful man, no not quite man he looked about 18 but had boyish features, but was still breathtakingly beautiful as my eyes moved up his face to meet his eyes I was unable to move his eyes were like dark pools of fire, this didn't scare me as it should of but all I could think was I had to get close to him as I drew nearer he suddenly appeared in front of me without thinking I reached out to touch his face and yet again gasped as my hand brushed across the smooth surface of his face if felt like marble if was smooth but also hard as stone and also cold as if he had stood in a snow storm all night and not in front of a fire.

I realised as I gazed into his eyes that no matter what happened I could not leave this mysterious man. As I breathed in his sweet scent I suddenly understood I have always been open minded yet also down to earth I was always interested in myths and legends and so I suddenly recognised what this man was. "Vampire" I breathed

"yes" he hissed back

"Turn me" I said I suddenly realised exactly what I wanted from life and what I had always been deep down, I began to finally understand why I never seemed to care or love but I finally realised I was born to be a vampire and to love the one standing in front of me.

"No" he hissed

"please" I began to beg I had never pleaded or begged and now I was on my knees in front of a stranger I have never been more ashamed.

"why should I?"

"I need to be a vampire, look at me I am only alive to be one of you"

Suddenly I was on the floor, I couldn't move I couldn't see or smell or hear anything then suddenly I was brought back to reality by a horrible pain it felt like every part of me was on fire I screamed in pain then suddenly the blankness washed over me when I finally regained my senses I felt stronger I could hear my father again I leapt to my feet to run and saw the Vampire but it as if I had never seen the light of day the colour and light seemed different in the moon beams I could see every colour in the spectrum. He beamed at me and I finally realised I had changed

"How long?" I asked shocked at the change in my voice it was lighter like a bell ringing

"two days shorter than most"

"Two days I reapeated?"

"Oh sorry I forgot you need to eat" he said

When he said it I felt a burning in the back of my throat and realised it was extreme hunger.

"Come" he said walking away whilst beckoning to me.

I stopped "what is your name?" I realised I had just completely given my life to an unknown stranger without asking him who he was!

"Alec" he muttered

"Alec" I whispered back

I fell for the vampire who changed me who cared for me, I would never admit my feelings they are below me but from the moment I first set eyes on him I have always loved Alec. I love him so much my un-beating heart aches but no matter how much I longed to be with him I have always known that however much I tried to give my heart to Alec he has always seen me as his sister. Amongst the Volturi guard Alec has always loved me above all of the others but as his sister, that is why I so gladly gave up my human ethics, I love alec and the unrequited love has killed me inside my heart is black the only thing I feel is love and hatred, I love Alec and hate the world for not letting us be together.

In Italy when I saw how much bella and Edward were inlove I wanted t cause them pain. I have never been so greatful for my dark gift and I have never enjoyed causing pain more and why is this? Because I have always been weak and have never gooten my one wish my only wish was to be swept away by prince charming but my prince is known as my twin, we are the which twins not the lovers i have always been wak but probably the wakest part of me is my pride I can't admit my desperate love for my darling Alec.

I am eternal and so is my love.