Title – MIA (WIP)
Author - Spookysister7
Email address - - http/ - PG-13
Category - MASH
Spoilers – "The Spy" by Spookysister7 (Can understand w/o reading it!)
Summary - Hawkeye's nightmares come true. Will he survive?
"War is war and hell is hell, and of the two, war's worse." "Why?" "Who goes to hell?" "Sinners." "That's right. There are no innocents in hell, but there are in war. Children, crippled, the old."- Hawkeye and Father Mulchay
MASH: MIA
"No!" Hawkeye screamed, leaping out of the cot. His breath came in heaving gasps as the adrenaline shot through his veins. BJ turned over wearily.
"You okay, Hawk? Another nightmare?"
"Yah." Hawkeye whispered shakily.
"You okay?" BJ asked again.
"I... I don't think so." Hawkeye didn't look up, still terrified.
"What do you mean?" BJ asked, wide awake now.
"I remember something this time. Beej, it was Aphasia." Hawkeye's eyes filled with tears.
"Oh." BJ said, moving to his side.
"It'll be okay, Hawk. It's only been two months. It's natural."
"No. You don't understand. She was calling me, begging me to help her. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't help. I was blind again."
"It's okay, Hawk. It'll be okay."
"No. It won't." Hawkeye said in a tone so terrified and sad that BJ looked at him in alarm. Hawkeye raised his head from his hands and looked at BJ.
"Hawk?
"Beej, it's not that dark, is it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I can't see. Beej, I'm blind again."
"Well, I can't find anything wrong with you." Potter said, lowering his flashlight.
"Your pupils are responsive, and your cornea is unharmed. You have better eyes than I do. There is no medical reason why you can't see. Are you sure..." Hawkeye cut him off.
"Yes, I'm sure! I can't see a thing. I don't understand. What happened?" Hawkeye asked. BJ sat in the corner, contemplating the enigma.
"Hey, Hawkeye. We'll be right back, okay?" BJ said suddenly, grabbing Potter's arm and practically dragging him out of the Pre-Op.
"What in blazes is going on!" Potter asked, yanking his arm from BJ's grasp.
"Sorry. I just thought of something. You remember that article we got on children and trauma?"
"Yah, what about it?"
"That one boy, the one that witnessed a brutal murder, he claimed he was blind, right?"
"Yah! You might have something there, Hunnicut. He was fine after he was hypnotized by that psychologist. Maybe we should call in a head shrinker of our own."
"Sidney?"
"Who else? Radar!" Potter cried, practically jogging to his office.
"I've got Dr. Freedman on the phone, Sir." Radar said, sticking his head out the door. BJ shook his head ruefully and hoped that Sidney got there fast, preferably before another nightmare.
"Hey, Hawkeye."
"Who is it? Wait a minute. I know that voice!" Hawkeye said, sniffing.
"And that aftershave! Whoo! Kill anybody with that lately, Sidney?"
"Ha. Ha. Guess what you're not getting for Christmas. How you doin'?"
"Well, besides being blind, I'm great. What are you doing here? Don't tell me you changed specialties!"
"No, no moonlighting. I'm here on a strictly professional basis. I hear there's no physical explanation for this latest injury. How did it happen?"
"Well, Doc, when I was fifteen I peeked into the girl's locker room and..."
"Hawkeye."
"Yah, yah. Okay. I've been having these really bad dreams, for almost a week, but I can never remember what they're about. Except..."
"Except?"
"Well, last night I woke up screaming, as usual, and I could remember a voice. That's when I figured out I was blind."
"Whose voice?"
"Huh?"
"Whose voice do you remember?"
"Oh. Well, you probably don't know this, but I was engaged."
"Oh? To who? One of the nurses?"
"No. She, well, she wasn't a nurse. Her name was Aphasia."
"That's an... interesting name. Was?"
"She died two months ago." Hawkeye said, fighting to keep his voice steady.
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. It was her voice that you remember?"
"Yah. I'd recognize it anywhere. She was calling me. She kept asking for help, but I couldn't help her."
"Why not?"
"I was blind."
"So, you wake up and you're still blind?"
"Yah."
"Well, the dream seems perfectly normal to me. You feel as if you were unable to keep her from dieing, so your subconscious gives you a reason. What I can't figure out is why you're still blind."
"You and me both, Doc."
"I've got an idea. Can we try some hypnosis? It might provide a solution."
"Can you hypnotize a blind man?"
"Sure. Only part of hypnosis is visual."
"Okay, you're the shrink. I'll try anything twice."
"Twice?"
"I have to see if I like it."
BJ sat nervously in the chair, eyes flickering between Hawkeye and Sidney.
"You sure you want me in here?" BJ asked.
"Yah, Beej. I'll try not to embarrass you, but you have to tell me if I say anything juicy. The Doc said it'd be a good idea to have a familiar presence in the room."
"Okay then." BJ said, swallowing hard. Dr. Freedman looked up with a smile.
"Ready?"
"Yah. Do your voodoo, Doc." Hawkeye said, leaning back in his chair.
"Listen to the sound of my voice..." Sidney started, talking calmly. After a few seconds, Hawkeye was under his spell.
"Can you see?" Sidney asked. BJ gave him a strange look.
"Yah, I can see. What am I, blind?" Hawkeye said casually.
"Good." Sidney said, ignoring the shocked expression on BJ's face.
"Now, I want you to go back to the dream you had last night."
"Ooh, Doc, I didn't know you were interested in naked basket-ball too." Hawkeye said with a grin. BJ and Sidney rolled their eyes simultaneously.
"No, Hawkeye. I want you to close your eyes and go to the scary dream." Hawkeye closed his eyes and frowned.
"Are you there?"
"Yah. I don't like this dream." Hawkeye said, pressing into the back of his chair.
"What do you see?"
"A door."
"What's behind it?"
"I don't know."
"Open it."
"No."
"Why?"
"There's something bad behind the door."
"Open it."
"No."
"Open the door, Pierce. That's an order."
"No." Sidney looked to BJ for help. BJ sat silently for a moment, and then raised an eyebrow in question. Sidney shrugged, open to anything.
"Hawk, open the door."
"Why?"
"She needs your help."
"Aphasia?" Hawkeye asked, voice cracking.
"Yes. Open the door and help her." Sidney said, taking over.
"Okay." Hawkeye said quietly. For a moment, all was silent.
"No!" Hawkeye screamed, rising to his feet.
"Aphasia!"
"Hawkeye, what's happening?" Sidney asked, waving BJ back to his seat.
"Stop! Stop it! Leave her alone!"
"What's happening, Hawkeye?"
"Oh, God! They've got her tied to the wall! They're punching her in the ribs. I can hear her ribs breaking! Stop! Let go of me!"
"Hawkeye, who has you? Who's hurting her?"
"A man has me; he's holding my hands behind my back. I can't see his face and I can't move. Let me go!"
"Who's the man, Hawkeye? Look at his face." Hawkeye looked up over his shoulder and snarled, a frighteningly primitive sound.
"Hunnicut." Hawkeye rasped. BJ looked at him in horror, feeling somehow guilty for the dream's antagonist.
"Is Hunnicut hurting you?"
"No. But he's holding me back. He won't let me help her! They're going to kill her and he won't let me help her!"
"Tell him to let go."
"Let go of me!" Hawkeye stumbled forward, as if freed from invisible bonds. He moaned and grabbed his chest.
"Hawkeye, what's the matter? What's happening?"
"They're hitting me! Oh, God. It hurts. They've broken my ribs." Hawkeye said, moaning, tears running down his cheeks.
"Who are they? How did they get you?"
"I traded myself for her." Hawkeye gasped out, holding his chest.
"For Aphasia?"
"Yah. Oh, God, stop! Ahhh!" Hawkeye screamed, collapsing to the floor. BJ stood in alarm, and Sidney kneeled by his side.
"Hawkeye, what happened?"
"They've... They've punctured my lung. I can't breathe. My mouth... My mouth is filled with blood..." Hawkeye gasped and stopped, struggling for breath. Clawing at the floor, he couldn't inhale.
"Hawkeye, come out of it!" BJ cried, pained to see his friend in such anguish.
"When I snap my fingers you will be back at the 4077, and you will remember everything." Sidney said, snapping his fingers.
Pierce's eyes flew open and he took a deep breath. He smiled shakily, sitting up.
"Hey, Beej. Nice to see you. How'd I get to the floor?"
"You had quite a dream." BJ said, helping him up. Hawkeye closed his eyes for a moment, remembering. His breathing grew ragged as he forced his eyes open.
"So, I guess this cured me. Maybe the cure is worse than the disease."
"At least you can see again." Sidney said calmly.
"Yah. I figured out why I thought I was blind."
"Why?" BJ asked. Sidney remained silent, a knowing look on his face.
"I was dead. I guess that makes me a coward."
"Huh?" BJ asked, confused. Sidney answered him.
"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once. Shakespeare said that, but I doubt he had this in mind. If anything, I'd say you're extremely brave. It takes a lot of courage to trade one's life for another."
"A lot of good it did me. They still killed her. I remember the whole dream, now."
"I'm sorry I held you back." BJ said quietly. Hawkeye looked at him sympathetically.
"Thanks, but my dream Hunnicut is never you. He's my conscience."
"I think I should be flattered."
"I don't know... Sometimes I want to flatten you when you interrupt one of my more... vivid dreams." Hawkeye said with a grin, eyebrows wiggling to imply more sinister connotations to the word vivid. BJ laughed. Sidney interrupted them.
"I'm glad I've cured your blindness, but I think there's a deeper problem here. Why don't you tell me the details about this Aphasia." Hawkeye swallowed and nodded.
"I wish you had met her, Doc. You would have loved her. She was beautiful."
"I would expect nothing less of your fiancé."
"No, you don't understand. I'm not talking about her body. Her shape was great, breathtaking, but she was beautiful. I don't know what it was, exactly. Something in the eyes. It was like her body was merely some delicate shell that kept her soul captive. We were only together a short while, but I loved her. I still love her."
"How did she die?" Freedman asked. Hawkeye looked away, tearing up.
"Beej?" He asked quietly. BJ nodded.
"She was shot, Doctor, as a spy."
"A spy?" Sidney asked, amazed.
"Yes. And that dream was entirely too possible. I X-rayed her. She had multiple broken ribs and rope burns." BJ said.
"It was the CIA. They tortured her." Hawkeye added bitterly.
"Then they killed her." BJ finished. Sidney shook his head.
"After all this, it's no surprise you're having dreams." The three men sat in a contemplative silence, each pondering the mysteries of the beautiful spy, Aphasia.
The door. He was back at the door. He didn't want to open it, but he did. He walked into the room. A man was hanging by his wrists against the far wall. Blood dripped from his lips, his mangled body a shrapnel junkyard. He walked up to the man and took his pulse. Nothing. He lifted the man's head. Azure eyes stared back at him, empty and hopeless. His eyes. Hawkeye ran.
Stumbling down a long corridor, he came to an open door. A woman hung by her wrists on the far wall. He took her pulse. He lifted her head. Margaret. He ran. He ran past the open doors, refusing to look in. He hit a dead end. He heard a whimper. Aphasia. He went into the room. Her ropes were cut and she lay on the floor. She was still alive. Her ribs were crushed, blood pouring from her mouth. A gunshot wound pumped blood onto the floor. She was in pain. He kneeled over her, trying desperately to stop her from dieing. Her hand grabbed his.
"Ben... Save them. Please." Hawkeye looked at her, grief stricken and confused.
"Who? Who do I save?"
"Save them, my love. Save yourself." She whispered as she faded away. He cried.
A man screamed. Standing, he left her body. He walked down the corridor. In every room he found another body on the wall. Sidney. Burns. Father Mulcahy. Klinger. Potter. He paused, not knowing how much more he could take, how many more tears he could shed. The man screamed again, sounding evermore familiar. He went to the next room. Radar.
"No. No. No." Hawkeye wept, feeling for a pulse. He was still warm.
"Radar." Radar's shrapnel infested body was identical to the rest, except Hawkeye knew he was only moments too late to save him. The man screamed. There was one room left. The one room Hawkeye dreaded the most. His room. The door opened. Two men hung on the far wall. His eyes still stared back at him, empty and lifeless. He walked to the other man. The man's clothes were wet. Water poured from his blue tinged lips. Hawkeye felt for a pulse. A thready beat. Hope crept into his heart. The man lifted his head.
"Beej!" Hawkeye screamed as he shot up in bed.
"What? What is it, Hawk?" BJ asked, still half asleep.
"Nothing, nothing. Just a dream." Hawkeye said, trying to control his reaction.
"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, it's okay. Go back to sleep."
"Kay." BJ said tiredly, rolling over and falling back to sleep. Hawkeye tried to relax, but the dream haunted him. He rose, threw his clothes on, and went for an early morning walk.