DWINDLING
The water. It's just….everywhere. I can feel it. The sharp pinch as it slides over my legs, arms, and soon to be, neck. Just as it slowly consumes me I am not broken free. What? Where is my mom? Why does the glass not shatter? Why am I still in here? I try to claw at the glass, kick it, but it stays. I am dying, and no one can save me. I watch as Jeanine smirks just as I take my last breath and there is water. I gulp in all water. I am gone. I am done….
Now I am there. It's a room, THE room. A hand is around my neck. They squeeze and I gasp. The chasm. I am kicked, punched, groped. Al? Where is Al? Why does he stand there and laugh? Wasn't he supposed to speak up for me? My feet dangle, my arms start to give. I try to hold on but a single nudge from Peter and I am falling. I grab nothing and no one saves me. I plummet to the edgy rocks. This can't be right. Where is Tobias? Why did he not come? Tobias… and then I hit the chasm and all I hear is a loud crack, water crashing, laughs, a distant cry of pain, and then silence… nothing but silence.
Where am I!? Oh no…not here, not again. Tobias. He stands at the table typing on the keyboard. It happens again. We fight. I try not to hurt him. I just fight. But something bothers me. Why am I here? Am I ….oh no…. a simulation? That must be it. But how? I went to sleep next to Tobias and then….nothing. I woke up here. But where is here? You can't wake up in a simulation. Maybe…this is a dream? A nightmare? No. This must be a simulation. But I don't face and conquer my fears. These are all just memories. What is happening? It comes to the end. Tobias is here. He can save me. I speak his name. I wait for him to say mine right back as he comes back to himself. I wait, and nothing happens. He still stares at me, blank faced and with the gun still pointed at my head. My gun is on the floor and he does nothing. He yells at me still and I cry. I beg for him to wake but still he doesn't. No. This shouldn't be happening. Tobias should be waking up. But he won't. And he doesn't, he frowns one more time before he stares dead eyed to me and fires. I hear the blast and my head explodes. But that is nothing compared to my heart as it shatters.
I want it to stop. It's too much. Not just the physical pain but the mental. Abandonment: they left me. Anger: I couldn't save myself. Desperation: I want to get out. But no one can save me. I am trapped, here, wherever this is. I can't count on my family, my friends, or Tobias. They are gone. It's just me now. I have to fight, instead of giving up. I have to save myself. I have to get out of this place of misery to go back to my family that I have. But how? All I can feel is the pain. It comes in sharp bursts, each one more powerful than the last. I can feel as my heart race slows down, my head throbs to a numbness, and I feel giddiness. But this only means that I am getting "out" or I am dying. My pulse slows and I feel no pain. I am a candle light dwindling. My flame couldn't be contained and now it can't be saved. I feel as my life slowly moves out of me. I can't move, can't think, can't…can't…I… am…..