So, this is my take on Derek and Stiles admitting their feelings for each other. To me, Derek seems like he's so scarred by past experiences in his life that accepting that someone truly cares for him would be difficult. He's such a complex character. He's broken, but he's tried so hard to build up walls to protect himself and hide how much pain he feels. But Stiles is broken in his own way, and I'd like to believe that people like that who care so much get the chance to help each other heal. Why can't the world work like that?
Trust Me
"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."
― Frank Crane
Stiles sat in his Jeep trying to work up the courage to just get out, go up to the door, and get this over with already. This, of course, being finally admitting that he had feelings for one Derek Hale. He didn't know when it had all started, but at some point he had realized that being around Derek made it a little easier to breath. He didn't feel the need to ramble on and on to make it seem like he was okay; Derek made him truly happy. Granted he did still ramble partly because he was always a little nervous around Derek, but mostly because he knew it annoyed the Sourwolf.
But back to his present predicament. Stiles was tired of hiding. Derek had a right to know how he felt. It didn't matter if his feelings weren't returned; he just needed to get everything out in the open. Maybe then he could at least try to move on.
Steeling himself, Stiles finally opened the door to his Jeep and stepped out. He hoped Derek wasn't listening in because then he would know Stiles had pulled up, and then spent far too long just sitting there. That would send out weird signals, and his racing heart would already be enough of a heads up to just how nervous he was.
Unfortunately, Derek must have heard him because the front door opened before Stiles had a chance to knock. Stiles jumped and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Derek simply raised his eyebrows.
"Uh…" Stiles finally managed. Wow, real intelligent. Good going, Stiles! He thought to himself.
"Did you want something?" Derek asked, eyebrows still raised.
"Well…uh…you see…could I come in?" Stiles finally inquired. Damn heartbeat! It's probably deafening him by now. Derek just gave him a questioning look and stepped aside giving Stiles enough space to enter.
"So, um, yeah. I guess this is the part where I explain why I'm here and all." Stiles struggled for words. Derek stared at him silently, waiting for him to continue. "Okay, yeah, totally. So, I know this might sound totally crazy, but I've been thinking a lot lately. About you, I mean. And I realized that I have certain feelings for you that I tried to deny. I realized that you make me happy for no reason, and I feel like everything's easier when you're there, like I can handle it. And I know you probably don't feel the same and that's okay because I just need to get this out, and then I can try to move on. Derek I-"
"Don't." Derek abruptly tensed and turned his back on Stiles, his jaw clenched tight.
"Derek?" Stiles asked, confused. "What's the matter?"
"Don't. " Derek repeated, clenching his jaw even tighter.
"Derek, turn around." Derek didn't move. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on."
Derek slowly turned back toward him. When Stiles saw the look on Derek's face, he wanted to cry. He looked like a kicked puppy; he looked more vulnerable than Stiles though was possible for someone as strong as Derek. Stiles was afraid Derek might break right there, and Stiles didn't know what he would do if that happened.
"Derek?" he spoke more gently, reaching out to touch Derek's arm in what he hoped would be a comforting manner.
"Stop!" Derek yelled knocking Stiles' hand away. His face hardening to his usual brooding glare once more. "You can't," he whispered.
"What? I can't what?" Stiles furrowed his brow. Derek wasn't making any sense.
"Don't lie to me. Not you. You can't." Derek's voice cracked so slightly Stiles' almost thought he imagined it.
"I'm not lying, Derek. I-I love you." Stiles surged forward capturing Derek's lips in a sudden bold desire to prove he was telling the truth. Derek immediately pulled away, and Stiles could practically taste the uncertainty that hung in the air.
"STOP LYING TO ME!" Derek roared. "You don't love me; you can't. I'm useless. I hurt everyone around me. I've hurt you. And now you're trying to get back at me by messing with my feelings? Why? I-I never thought you of all people would do something like that to me. I know I don't deserve kindness, but I never thought you would…" Derek trailed off, deflated. Stiles stared at him, mouth hanging open. He had never heard Derek string that many words together unless it was in an attempt to threaten Stiles. He had certainly never seen Derek say that much to anyone about how he felt. Did Stiles really mean that much to him? Could Derek have feelings for Stiles too? Why else would he be so hurt thinking Stiles was playing games with him?
"Derek, I-I'm not messing around here. This isn't some sick prank. I know you think that the whole thing that happened with Kate was your fault, but it wasn't. You deserve to be loved. And, for your information, you don't hurt everyone around you, you're the one protecting them. I know you go around pretending you don't give a damn about anyone, but I know you do. I've lost count of how many times you've saved my life. You are the strongest person I've ever known. I love you, Derek. I need you to believe that. I need you to trust me." Stiles looked pleadingly at Derek, praying he would believe him. He knew his heartbeat would tell Derek that what he said was the truth, but Derek still looked unsure.
Gradually, as if he still thought Stiles might suddenly declare everything he said a joke and mock him for believing it, Derek reached out and placed his hands gently on either side of Stiles' face. Resting their foreheads together, Derek let out a breath of air he must have been holding the entire time Stiles was talking. Stiles smiled and tentatively leaned forward until suddenly their lips met. It was a simple, chaste kiss, and Stiles gave Derek all the space in the world to pull away if that's what he wanted, but this time he didn't pull back. He just kept kissing Stiles softly until they were both grinning like idiots.
"I love you, Derek." Stiles broke the silence still grinning.
"Stiles, I-"Derek stuttered.
"It's okay Derek. You don't have to say it. I already know." And he did. Stiles knew Derek loved him. Derek's difficulty saying it out loud just proved how real it was, and for now, that was more than enough.
"A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended."
― Ian McEwan
