End of Days - An CCD/X Fanfic
By Michi
Warnings: Shounen-Ai (hint)
Disclaimer: These characters belong to CLAMP and related publishing companies. Used here for fan entertainment purposes only.
From my window, I can see it. The silhouette of Tokyo Tower is obscured by the black smoke of the Tokyo burning around it. The Dragons of Earth have been merciless in their attacks on the kekkai and it is a miracle that our defenses are still holding at all. The grounds within the pentagram of CLAMP Campus have still remained untouched but I know that it is only a matter of time.
It has been a rough week to say the least. In this past week, as we have gathered intelligence for the Dragons of Heaven, we have fought innumerable battles against Miss Satsuki and her Beast. She is a formidable opponent. I think I would have wanted to meet with her someday, just to see if I could possibly be honored to see a smile on her face.
"It's time to go, Rijichou," Akira says from behind me quietly.
It is an odd feeling, to finally arrive at the moment that you were born for. All my life, I have walked on this path to lead me to this moment. I find myself wondering now if this is what Suoh must have felt like so many years ago when he chose me as his charge. He was only seven years old then, arguably too young to understand the meaning of fate and destiny. But Suoh has always been more mature and responsible than his physical age.
"I know," I answer. Kamui will be taking the sword soon. The fate of the world will be decided. Tokyo may fall soon. And if Tokyo falls, Japan will fall. And if Japan falls....
I cannot keep thinking of that. We have a duty to fulfill. We will hand that sword over to Kamui at all costs.
Even if it is the last thing we do.
As we make our way down to the computer room together, we settle into a familiar formation, with me in the front, Suoh and Akira flanking me on either side, slightly behind. I have heard people whisper about them, my two loyal shadows they have been called.
I had bodyguards before Suoh. As the youngest member of my immediate family, I was quite prone to kidnappings as a young child. I remember that I always managed to escape unharmed, the idea that a friend of mine may someday be caught in an attempt on me unnerved me. I remember swearing to myself that I would never allow another person to suffer such a fate because of me.
I was able to keep to that resolve for a few years. I was generally safe on school grounds and outside of them I would be protected by the family bodyguards. I suppose they were nice enough but I never bonded with any of them.
The walk down to the computer center is silent. I can only imagine what they must be thinking right now. When we arrive, I begin to raise my hand to the access panel. Once that and the retinal scan are complete, we will enter the computer center and take up our positions for our final battle.
Miss Satsuki and her Beast may be formidable and if I judge her correctly she will pull out all the stops to ensure that the locks she has placed on the Sword will but I believe that the three of us will be able to defeat her to unlock the Sword for Kamui. I have complete faith in us to be able to perform our duty. As I told my mother years before, I handpicked Suoh and Akira. They are the best of the best and have proved themselves time and again.
And yet I know that even when we do complete our duty, the world may not live long enough for us to see another day.
I find myself hesitating. It is not worry for the battle to come but rather something else more important to my selfish mind. There is one more thing I must do before we enter the computer center for what could be the last time.
"If we come out of this alive..." I start to say before my voice breaks, unable to hide my fear. Not for the first time I reflect on the choices that I have made, the destiny that I have chose and wonder if I could have done anything to change this destiny.
"Not if," Akira says, placing a comforting arm around my shoulder.
"When," Suoh finishes, slipping his arm around my waist.
I look at the two of them and for the first time in many months, the heaviness in my heart lightens. In their arms, in this moment I feel safer than I ever have. And I realize despite my fears and worries about their following me into this destiny there is no one else I would rather have by my side.
I had imagined this moment for years, ever since I discovered that this was to be my destiny and in turn theirs as well. In my nightmares, waking and asleep, I would find myself thinking about this moment, dreading it because I knew that when it came to pass everything as we know it would end.
For awhile I had wondered what I would say and how I would say it. There were so many possible scenarios, so many choices. How could one possibly find words the words to express a lifetime of emotion?
And now that the moments are shorter than I ever, I find that there is only one thing that I want to say and only one way to say it.
"I love you," I say as simply as possible, turning from one to the other. "Suoh. Akira."
There was a time I would have worried about the repercussions of a confession like this. What would it do to our friendship? Would they... no, could they accept my love? Would it affect their relationships with Lady Nagisa and Princess Utako? Would my love for them only be a burden?
And there was a time would have worried that perhaps Akira would not be able to fully understand what I meant. Maybe he would smile and tell me honestly that he loved me too, with that childlike innocence that even the past few months had not darkened but without understanding the depth of my love for him, a love that went beyond friendship or even the love of a husband to his spouse, that without him or Suoh I would be incomplete. I would have worried that Suoh would think it a misguided confession, borne of stress and uncertainty of circumstance. Perhaps Suoh would consider it a secret long held from him, cause him to question his motives in protecting me as well as mine for having him beside me. I would have worried that perhaps my confession may cause the undue stress and strife, perhaps even affect their relationships with Lady Nagisa and Princess Utako.
But in my memory, I hear our laughs, our tears, our triumphs and our losses together over the years. I see before me the moment Suoh pledged to protect me when we were children and the day that Akira entered my life. In my memory I see Akira's wide eyes and comforting smile. I see Suoh's steadfast determination. In my memory and here in their arms, I feel their unwavering loyalty to me and to each other, their belief in us as a team, our friendship and love for each other.
They exchange a look over my head. As I look at them now I am completely convinced of their understanding what I mean. Of course they would understand. I was a fool to have ever worried that they may not.
"And we love you too," Akira says.
"Nokoru." Suoh finishes with Akira, a smile upon his lips.
Even as the world threatens to fall apart around us, I cannot help but feel a thrill of unbridled joy at the sound of my own name. I have been waiting to hear my name from their lips for a lifetime.
We stand there together for just a little longer, safe and secure in this one perfect moment before the battle begins. I take a deep breath and raise my hand to the console. The device recognizes my handprint and scans my eye. The door opens for us and we assume our positions in the control room.
Suoh and then Akira turn in their chairs to look to me for the order. I take this last opportunity to impress the image of their faces in my mind, memorizing every last detail of this absolute final moment before our destined battle. I see them: determined, locked and ready to move together with me. Three have become one mind, one body.
With a nod, I give my final order and our battle begins.
Notes: I wrote this before I read the summary for the last chapter of X (April 2003?!) so it's not within X continuity per se. I guess you can call it an alternate ending. I'm not entirely happy with this but I'll probably come back and revise this if there's enough interest.