MUCHAS GRACIAS TO KELPY FOR GETTING THIS UP ON HER ACCOUT FIRST.
Me: Okay seriously, this is pathetic. I'm finding round two of Compy's contest – an easy round – harder than fillershipping from last season. WTF, man. (kills self) So, as a result, this is just a slew of insanity. Everyone else is going with these morbid fics from what I've heard – I haven't read any for fear of taking their idea in a desperate attempt to write my own – so this is bordering on a crack-fic. (is shot)
Mostly switches first person POV, but has some third. Rated T for language. Insanity. Thievery. Attempted homicide. Bakura's slightly OOC in his emails, but he's supposed to be a bit drunk each time. Yugi's in his twenties. KLEPTOSHIPPING – BakuraxYugi, so anti-shonen-ai people, back away. There are no graphic scenes, but if hints offend you, off with your head – er, I mean, you don't need to read.
Disclaimer: Hikari Daeron does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any affiliations. She also does not own Mulan (there's a quote). This work was written exclusively for the aforementioned contest.
A Little Question
"Oh shit the cops!" swore Bakura. He slid the vase he had been examining into his bag, along with the necklaces and earrings in the cabinet. He began to drag it to the door when he turned. "Motou, what are you doing?" he demanded. "We need to move!"
Yugi was glued to the window, staring at the flashing lights and sirens. "Motou, come on!"
There was no response. Bakura thought for about a split second. On one hand, he could make a quick getaway and laugh about it all later. On the other, he didn't want Yami to beat his ass. He sighed and made his decision. He dropped the bag, hoisted a stunned Yugi over his shoulder, swiped it back off and dashed away.
#
Now, of course, comes the infamous question which has left grown men blushing and women of high society babbling away for hours.
What the hell was that?
It has been said that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But in the case of one extremely bored Yami no Bakura, the second half of the expression is null and void. Unfortunately for the Motou Yugi who happened to be accompanying him at the time, this meant that the tabloids were actually semi-right, for once.
#
August 12
Malik –
I'm sitting in a hotel room with half of bottle of Vodka left, soooooooo… thought you might want to join in on STORY TIMEEE!!
A couple of days ago, I was at home being bored, and, as I'm awesome, I decided to tell Ryou all about his pathetic life and how all he does is waste away. So, being dumb, Ryou decided that it would be a great idea to send me to the States for a while, to – now, what were his exact words? Um… oh, yeah, to: "Get the hell out of my hair before I metaphorically chop it off to get ridof you." Mmm, I think he's learning rather quickly, considering.
Okay, so anyway, I didn't have much choice before I suddenly found myself in Vegas. Yeah, as in, Las. I think Ryou bought me a ticket for Chicago or Boston or something… but somehow I'm here! Oh well, whatever… oh yeah, so, rest of story. I was in Vegas for a couple of days… making a lot of money gambling… DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, IT WAS PERFECTLY LEG… IT WAS FINE. So, yeah, I was pretty much rolling in the dough and all that, when suddenly, guess who I saw? YUGI. AS IN, THE SHRIMP. He was flirting with some guy – I knew he was gay! – or doing something and he was just THERE.
He disappeared before I could go question him, but he's HERE! So I'm going to findhis ass and get some answers.
– Bakura
#
August 12
Dear Ryou,
So as I told you on the phone, I decided that Yami might like Vegas, so we've been here for a couple of days. It's been nice – Yami's been blatantlywinning at various games, so I'm trying to get him to tone it down, but otherwise, we've had a lot of fun. You should come sometime – but perhaps leave Bakura at home?
Speaking of which, I was talking to the bartender in my hotel the other night and could have swornthat I saw your yami here! I went looking but didn't find him… He iswith you, right? The last time Bakura went somewhere by himself three buildings were burnt down…
Well, hope everything's well!
Love,
Yugi
#
August 12
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SENT BAKURA TO THE STATES BY HIMSELF?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE COULD DO ALONE?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE HAS DONE ALONE?! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!
#
August 13
HOLYSHITMARIK –
ITWASYUGI!!
Okay, okay, I'm not drunk this time, I have no excuse… Okay, so yeah, I'm a little tipsy – you like it just as much as I do, shut up Marik.
Hold on, let me start over.
Marik –
It wasYugi I saw the other night. How do I know with such certainty? Because I decided the best way to approach him was to go up behind him, but the stupid dealer thought I was a thief and whacked me with a bag of poker chips. (Well, I knowI'm a thief, but sheesh! I wasn't going to do anything to him!)
Alright, anyway, I spoke with Yugi and he told me that he and Pharaoh were in the same hotel as I am, and were taking a vacation. Which sounds ridiculous, all they ever do is play cards. But, according to him it's the truth… and we know Yugi, can't lie to save his life.
I'll keep you updated.
– B
#
August 13
Sorry, Ryou – I didn't mean to be so dramatic. I think a lot of it was Yami's fault… he had a similar reaction when I told him.
Well, Bakura found me today. He, ah, was trying to sneak up on me, I think… the dealer wasn't amused. He nearly knocked him out… Bakura tried to strangle the guy but… well. Anyway. We had a pleasant enough conversation – he spoke of stabbing Yami until nothing remained, I inquired about the weather scheduled for the next day.
Perhaps Bakura will be able to behave himself? In any case, somehow or another we've agreed for him to have brunch with me and Yami tomorrow – which should be interesting enough. I'm sure everything will be fine.
-Yugi
#
Little did Yugi know that he would be eating his words.
Yugi, Yami and Bakura were supposed to meet up in the lobby of their hotel, and then walk over to a nearby restaurant. (God only knows what Bakura was planning to do to Yami meanwhile…) However, Yugi had awoken to the wonderful sound of Yami vomiting in the bathroom, and they'd concluded that somehow, the ancient king had gotten a stomach bug.
Which is ridiculous, as it was Yami.
In any case, he ended up staying in the hotel room sleeping, and Yugi went to go meet Bakura. He was waiting down in the lobby when the white-haired yami appeared. "Yo, where's Pharaoh?"
"Sleeping." Yugi made a face. "He came down with something."
Bakura snorted. "Loser. He's not supposed to get sick."
Yugi shrugged. "It's not that unusual. Are you going to cancel on me because Yami can't make it?" Yugi pouted. He was hungry.
The other blinked. Shit, he looks cute like that. "No," he said with a shrug. "Food is food. And I'll just make fun of you."
Yugi rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, O Demoted One."
There was a pause. Then – "HEY!"
#
"But now here comes the ultimate question… how does brunch lead to slipping through the clutches of the police?"
"Way to make it sound exciting," grumbled Yugi. "I was scared out of my mind."
"It's for dramatic contrast!" said Bakura, crossing his arms. "Who's telling the story here?!"
"I don't care who tells it, as long as I get some answers," growled Yami. "All I know is that at one o'clock in the morning my aibou comes running in here as if he's being chased by the demons of hell and refused to leave my sight."
"Don't tell me you went crying to him!" said Bakura, looking at Yugi. The other turned pink. "Aww, you're a little pussy!"
Yami smacked him upside the head. "And you'll be dead unless you tell me the rest."
Bakura rubbed his head. "Okay, okay, sheesh… well, we walked over…"
#
… and found the restaurant easily. It was modest, and Yami and I had been there a few days previously so I knew it was a good place. Bakura looked a little put-out, but I convinced him that it wasn't as fancy as he thought it was.
Then he decided to complain that I wasn't willing to spend money on him. Honestly Ryou, I'm not sure how you live with him. At least my yami's mostly reasonable.not going someplace nice. Well anyway, we sat around and miraculously found things to talk about – I don't think my interests with Marik or you transition through, even though we have those friends in common. If that makes any sense? Well in any case, I think the conversation started because of Bakura's surprising ability to pronounce some of the more expensive things on the menu, and discussion was sparked. I had no idea he was teaching himself all of those different languages!
Well, we were there for a couple of hours – Bakura likes eating, I found, so next time, I am
Ryou blinked at the computer screen. Yugi's daily update on his trip had just arrived, and he was sitting and reading it. "He is?" He shook his head and kept reading.
Well, anyway, after brunch Bakura said he was bored and I had nothing better to do, so we began window shopping. There are some ritzy places in Vegas, Ryou. Seriously, you should visit sometime. Eventually Bakura dragged me into a jeweler's – why? I had no idea – and got into a discussion with the owner. Something about jewel quality and true values? All I remember is that the owner realized that Bakura knew what he was talking about, and somehow got us to leave.
Ryou groaned. "Oh no. That definitely means he went back later."
Bakura wasn't happy with this, but we left quietly enough. Well, he 'accidentally' broke a vase on the way out, but otherwise, it was quiet.
After that Bakura was a little disgruntled so we went back to the hotel. I watched him gamble and beat a lot of people – especially at Blackjack, though I think you know it better as Twenty Ones – and we had a few drinks. I'm surprised that he didn't mind my company. He certainly surprised me a lot today.
Well, I promised to meet up after dinner – I want to watch Yami for a bit, so we're going to go catch a movie or something around 10 – so I'll write again tomorrow!
-Yugi
#
"And then?" demanded Yami. "I remember Aibou leaving here around 9, and he was perfectly fine then!"
"Then…" Bakura shrugged. "We caught the movie, made a quick stop and came back."
Yami snorted. "Yeah. Right. And that obviously leads to a scarred-for-life-hikari."
Bakura tried to laugh it off, but Pharaoh was glaring at him so fiercely that he cut himself short. "Alright! Well pretty much…"
#
… Right after Yugi and I parted, I decided that the jeweler from before was a bitch and deserved payback. Oh c'mon Marik, you would have done the same for sure. So I went out and scoped the place. Sure it's Vegas, but the security there was shit. I went back in with a bandana on and different clothes, but guy from before wasn't there so it was all good. I took note of the cameras, I pretended to want to try something so went back with one of the guys… I had everything planned perfectly. I'm used to working under high stress.
So, of course, I got Yugi a little tipsy to impair his judgment, but not enough for him to be a hindrance. And we did what we had to, got in, and nearly got away… well, we did get away. But we were nearly caught, which makes me feel like a dumbass because I didn't notice the trip wire! Yeah, I know, don't give me that look! Well whatevs, it's all good, Yami bitched me out about it but otherwise Yugi's unharmed.
Got a nice feel of Yugi's ass, I'll admit. Total and utter accident, but hey, whatever.
Just don't tell Yami. He'll kick my ass.
-Bakura
Me: ALRIGHT SO THAT WASN'T QUITE WHAT I EXPECTED. I don't hate this as much as I should, considering what it took to get out of me, especially the whole end, but… well. I've been under a lot of stress lately and nearly dropped out. When reviewing… please don't be mean. I can't handle it right now, and I'm not exactly beaming at this fic either. (I like the beginning, though, I'll give it that much.)