"Kokoru, do you still have your nose in that book? You're going to go blind if you try to read in the dark!" I could hear my cousin, Hinata, gently chiding me from ahead on the path we walked down. I looked up with big innocent eyes and gave her a pouty lip.

"But, Hina, I can't help it! I NEED to know what happens! It just got to the part that the main character found out a curse was put on her and her family and she has to tell the love of her life before it's too late!" I stuck my finger in the page I was on and went on to explain the whole story, the whole 345 pages of it so far that I'd read in the span of a few hours walk home from our last group mission. I saw my cousin roll her eyes and give me a loving smile before turning back to her crush, Naruto. Thank god they'd finally gotten together… though it still had a bit of awkwardness to kink through. I grinned over at them before hungrily reading the words in my book.

Before I knew it, we were home, and my book conveniently ended about the same time. Too bad there was a sequel. The first place I'd be going is the book store, if I could help it.

"You're back!" I blinked my eyes to adjust to the darkened skies and saw my oldest sister waiting for me at the gates of Konoha. Strange. She's never looking for me—usually she went to the middle sister for anything first.

"Hi, Ruka, what is it?" Hinata and Naruto waved me off and went their own way, as did the rest of our group—Kiba and Shino and Sakura.

"Can't I ever just welcome my cutest little sister back? I missed you!" She pulled me into her big bosom and gave me a suffocating hug. I struggled to breathe until she let me go. I swear, that could be her weapon.

"No, seriously. Why are you so happy?" The girl's happy mood was contagious and I could feel a smile gracing my lips until her next words came out of her mouth.

"I asked Shikamaru out and he said yes!" The girl squealed as if she was still my age, 16, instead of 19. My heart plummeted to my stomach.

"Y-you.. asked him out?" My throat was dry as the words struggled to come forth.

"Yeah! I know he's your friend but I figured you wouldn't mind. He's so sweet!" She squealed again. I just swallowed the lump in my throat and the harsh words pushing forward that I know would only make the situation worse. Of course, she didn't know that I have liked Shikamaru for years, because I never told anyone except Hinata. And though I never intended on saying anything to him, I never expected this….

We got home, and just to make matters worse, my father was in the kitchen sitting at our table like everything was fine and dandy. Mom stood at the sink washing dishes from dinner, talking like the hatred she had felt for him not too long ago never existed.

"Kokoru! I'm glad to see you home safe and sound." My father looked over at me with a smile. The hurt in my heart grew just seeing him. I said nothing, grabbed an apple, and left for my room.

Once inside, the tears poured from my eyes freely. The sobs in my throat broke through. I threw my bag from my mission into the corner of my room and crashed on to my bed.

"Kokoru…" My father's voice echoed outside my door.

"Go away! You left us for another family, so why come back? Go back to your new life and just leave us alone!" I cried into my pillow, knowing all the time I was acting childish, but the pain inside me hurt so much. I just needed a release. It worked, the voice was gone, and my tears slowed as I sat alone.

A few weeks later, I sat on a bench in town reading my new book. It was all I had to do nowadays. I used to be able to hang out with Hinata, but she spends her time with Naruto. And I used to cloud gaze with Shikamaru, but I couldn't bear to see him now that he's with my sister. I couldn't even talk to her, I was so upset. There were no missions at the moment, so I read.

Shaye blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes as Eric stomped away across the deck, her life irrevocably turned upside down. The water surrounded the two, but it was as if they were on different sides of the ocean with all the attention the man gave Shaye. He hated her. All because she had a fiancé waiting for her at home. All because she could not run away with him to his foreign lands.

She knew he did not love her. If he did, he would agree to marry her. She would have reason to leave her home then, and not just leave for the chance to be the man's mistress. She needed more than that.

Thinking that, her heart broke a little more as she watched the long black hair of the crewman snag out of its tie and blow wildly around his jaw. Everything about him made her body melt. She would almost agree to be his mistress, if not for her family-

"I knew I'd find you here." I jumped as someone sat next to me on the stone bench. My eyes were fogged over, still in storyland, for a moment. When I blinked away the words in my head, I was staring at Shikamaru. He was leaning back, his arms behind his head, eyes closed.

"Why were you looking for me?" I fought the feeling of choking up. We were friends, right? There should not be anything different between us, in his mind anyways.

"I haven't seen you since your last mission. If I hadn't heard from your sister, I would have thought you got left behind back there." The smile graced his lips so easily, making me bite my lip in the hopes that I could bite back the feelings stirring inside me.

"I've been busy." I shrugged. His smile grew and he opened his onyx eyes to look straight at me.

"I see this. It must be a very important book to keep you so busy." His eyes glanced at the cover of my book—a man grasping a woman by her shoulders and kissing her passionately at the helm of a ship. My cheeks reddened and I turned the book face down in my lap.

"Well, I figured you'd be busy with Ruka…" He sat up straighter and his eyes turned inscrutable.

"Why would I be busy with Ruka?" My brows creased in confusion. But he was serious. I could not answer his question, so I simply stood and brushed off invisible dirt from my baggy cream shirt and black leggings.

"I need to get dinner ready. It was good to see you, Shika… I'll tell Ruka I saw you." I hurried away before I could embarrass myself anymore by drooling over the boy, regardless if my sister was dating him or not.

When I told Hinata about my sister and the boy I was head over heels for on our next mission together, she couldn't wrap her head around it.

"I don't understand! I mean, I never would have thought…" She ventured off, lost in thought. We were a week into the mission, upon request of the Sand Village, before I could even tell this to my closest friends. It was just Hinata and Lee with me.

"I am sure things will work out just like they should, Kokoru. You are a very pretty girl and Shikamaru must see this!" Lee provided sweetly. I thanked him, not believing a word of it.

"I'm sorry, Koko." Hinata hugged me. There was nothing else to be said.

We finished our mission another week later. I was happy to see the time pass. I was happy to have that time to think and time to spend with my friends.

But all too soon we were crossing the gates to our home again.

Of all people, my father stood there waiting for me. I glared away from him, about to walk straight passed, but then I remembered Hinata. I looked back to see her eyes downcast and my father watch her coldly. I felt my blood boil.

"You deserve every bit of shame from the Hyuga family, so do not blame Hinata for it!" I yelled at my father, past breaking point. His eyes widened as I spoke.

"You divorced my mother for another woman and had another child, and your family shunned you for it. Good. Don't think you can go on like none of that happened. Don't keep torturing Mom with the thought that you might come back, because we both know you won't. You've broken this whole family up and now you must deal with the consequences." My chest heaved as the words came out of their own accord. Tears dripped down my cheeks but I ignored them.

"Kokoru, I'm sorry-" He started, reaching out for me. I remembered the times he pulled me into his lap when I hurt myself while training to become a shinobi, all the times I felt the hurt in my heart, he used to be there. But he wasn't anymore. He left. I swiped away his outstretched arms and grabbed onto Hinata's sleeve to drag her away. We left my father standing there, Lee awkwardly walking away from the scene.

We got to my house and into my room before Hinata said anything.

"Wow…. I never knew you had it in you, Koko…" the girl whispered and I felt laughter bubble into my throat. We both began to giggle at the absurdity of the past few weeks.

"Did you see Lee's face? The poor guy!" We giggled some more, releasing all the pressure I had pent up inside.

We spent the next few hours looking for Hinata something cute to wear for her date with Naruto, talking about how different things were with all our old friends. The subject was not broached about Shikamaru and my sister.

"Knock, knock!" Naruto's blond spiky hair popped up in my window and Hinata and I gave a surprised shriek, throwing whatever we could at him. Shoes. He fell from the window and there was a dull thud on the ground outside.

"Naruto, you pervert!" I cried out with a laugh. He peeked back inside, a bump growing on his forehead.

"I swear I'm not! I just came to get my girlfriend!" He grinned over at Hinata, finally able to say the word without blushing.

"If you must take her away, then," I nodded to the two of them and watched as my cousin hopped out the window too.

"Oh! Kokoru, Shikamaru was looking for you. He seemed really upset about something." The blond shrugged his shoulders and with another grin, hopped back out the window to catch up with Hinata.

I sighed. There must have been a fight between Shika and Ruka, why else would he be upset? Ruka was pretty dramatic sometimes, so it was easy to get upset with her. I'd have to go talk to him and make sure he knew Ruka didn't mean whatever she did.

I found Shikamaru sitting with Choji at their favorite restaurant. They were laughing about something, and all I could do was watch that smile light up Shikamaru's eyes and face. What if I didn't say anything about Ruka? What if I agreed that she was mean and not someone good to date? What would happen then? Could I have a chance with the boy? No, I couldn't be that person. I wouldn't step in the way of someone's relationship, like my father's new wife. I just had to grin and bear it.

"Hey!" The boys stood up upon seeing me and I waved back at them, coming to stand next to their table.

"Hey," I smiled at them, avoiding Shika's observant eyes. "Can I talk to you, Shika?" I bit my lip, feeling the blood rush to it and swell it up. My heart was pounding in my ears.

"Um, yeah, I needed to talk to you too," He stammered, climbing out of the booth. I was so focused at looking at the floor that I didn't see Choji nudging his friend and winking at him.

We walked out of the restaurant and headed down the dirt street towards other shops in town. Now that I had the boy to myself, I didn't want to say anything at all. Shikamaru seemed to be at a loss for words too.

"I wanted to let you know-"

"I needed to tell you-" We both started to talk at the same time after a considerable amount of time in silence. We both laughed out.

"You first." He offered.

"I just… wanted to let you know… that whatever my sister did to cause you two to fight, she really didn't mean it. She's a bit dramatic and can hold grudges, but she really does care." As I spoke, I could see Shika's eyes grow more confused and a shadow passed over his face. I swallowed hard, worried that maybe I said the wrong thing.

Without another word, Shikamaru stopped walking and turned to face me fully. He grabbed my shoulders and gently pulled me to him. He bent down and his lips pressed softly onto mine. My knees grew weak and just as I thought I would crumble, his hands slid down to my elbows and held me steady. His lips pressed harder against mine, sending hot thrills through my whole body. I gasped out as one of his hands moved to the small of my back to pull me closer against him, and his tongue took advantage of the opportunity and slid into my mouth. He explored and caressed my mouth as my hands flew to his hair, tangling my fingers into the ponytail, and pulled him closer still. My tongue entwined with his in a heated battle. My body was on fire, and the touch of his hand against my back was scalding.

No! What was I doing?! I was kissing my sister's boyfriend! With sudden clarity, I pulled away from Shikamaru's extraordinary kiss and stepped back to clear my befuddled mind.

"I-I'm so sorry!" I stumbled back and ran away from the scene without looking back.

I arrived at my doorstep, out of breath, and fear constricting my heart. What have I done?

Ruka was sitting in the livingroom, painting her nails. She had her foot in the air, cotton stuck between her toes, and her arm reached out with the nail polish brush in hand. She glanced up at me. I burst into tears.

"Ruka, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen, b-but, it just did!" She arched a single plucked brow at me.

"What happened?" She asked while sitting her foot down and placing the brush back in its vial.

"I kissed Shikamaru!" The tears kept coming as I watched for her reaction. She burst into a fit of giggles and I could only stare. Did they have such a big fight that it was over?

"So? Why are you announcing your love life to me?" She was still laughing at me. My brain couldn't comprehend why she would be ok with this.

"But… aren't you dating him?" Her face scrunched up in distaste.

"Ew, no! Why? Oh….. shit. I knew I forgot something. Koko, I was only telling you all that because I was mad at you for taking my top." Her dainty shoulders lifted and dropped as she dismissed the subject like it was nothing. Just like dad always did.

"How did you know it would have bothered me?" I seethed out through my teeth.

"Oh my god, Koko, it's not a secret you're practically in love with the boy. I just wanted to piss you off. I figured you had to have asked the kid if it was true and figured out it wasn't. That was so long ago. Did he not tell you?" My sister just laughed and went back to painting her toenails. Everything inside me fought to break loose. Nothing was making sense in my mind.

"How could you do that to me? I…" Then her words sunk in. I never asked. I always assumed. He always looked so confused and I never even gave him the chance to tell me my mistake. Oh, I am so stupid! How could I not have guessed?

I felt the heat of embarrassment creep up into my face and I walked away to my room as my sister continued to laugh at me.

I slammed my door and picked up my current book and delve into it. I was so absorbed in it that I didn't hear the knock or the door open sometime later.

I laid on my bed facing against the wall, the book turned so I could read it. I felt the weight of the bed shift and an arm drifted over me, the hand gently taking the book from me and sitting it on the windowsill next to the bed.

"Can I say what I needed to say, now?" Shikamaru breathed into my ear, his hand folding over my own as he sat behind me on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry, Shika, I was so stupid-"

"No, your sister is just conniving sometimes. Kokoru, not once have I ever thought of dating anyone else. I didn't see the point, because the only one I wanted to be with was you. And judging by that kiss, you don't mind the idea either," As Shikamaru brought up our previous kiss, I could feel the tingling in my stomach again. "So, Kokoru, what I needed to say was… I want to spend more time cloud gazing with you, and watching you bite your lip so adorably when you concentrate while playing chess. Will you allow me to do that?" I turned around to face the boy who watched my every move intently.

"I'm not too bothersome for you, Shika?" I teased, laughter shining in my eyes, my lips quirking up in the corners.

"Not in the least." He smiled and squeezed my hand before leaning down and kissing my lips sweetly. I kissed back, giving him all the answer he needed.