This takes place sometime soon after 3.06, 3XK. As far as this piece is concerned, Jenny doesn't exist. I like her too much to have Kevin cheat on her.

This can be considered a companion to "Nightmares," however; you don't have to read that to understand this.

There were always some cases that stayed with them. Cases that they could never forget, no matter how hard they tried.

For Kate, it was her mother's murder. She might not have been the one who originally investigated it, but it was the case that had affected her life the most.

For Javier, it used to be the case revolving around Racine and Ike. Now, it was an old unsolved from his days at the 54th, a case where the victim looked strikingly similar to his beloved younger sister.

Castle, Kevin knew, was haunted by all cases involving children, especially young girls. They hit too close to home for him, especially as he wasn't trained to separate his emotions from cases like the rest of them.

Kevin…Kevin couldn't even remember what used to keep him up at night anymore. Whatever it was must have been horrible, he was sure of that, but after everything that went down with Jerry Tyson…

Ever since that case, the thing that stopped him from sleeping was the face of that sleazebag, Kevin's gun in his hand. He could just see the girls who would be next on Tyson's list, too scared to fight back because of the fact that he was holding Kevin Ryan's gun to their head. He could see their dead bodies lying there because he hadn't caught on to Tyson's ruse sooner, because he hadn't been able to stop Tyson once he had realised what was happening.

Kevin knew Tyson would kill again – it was just the way he was – and when he did, it would all be Kevin's fault.

It was enough to keep anyone up at night.

Kevin knew Javi was worried about him, about how erratic his sleep patterns had gotten. He'd not gotten a full night's sleep ever since Tyson had escaped. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Tyson killing another woman. The nightmares would keep him awake until he's collapse, utterly exhausted and sleep deprived.

More often than not, it's in Javi's arm that he falls asleep. Even when he's tired, the nightmares don't always stay away. But in Javi's arms, every single time he's drained, he can actually sleep properly. Even with Javi, Kevin can't sleep on a normal day, but he'll take some sleep over none.

Kevin knows that the nightmares will go away over time. The case will never stop haunting him, but he'll be able to get on with his life. He knows it'll able Javi who helps that happen – it's his kisses, caresses and words of affection and reassurance that have helped the crippling guilt become less.

Tyson will always be the one who got away to Kevin Ryan, but as long as he's got Javi by his side, he'll find a way to live with that.

Because at the end of the day, Jerry Tyson is only one in a long list of criminals whose actions will torture him. But Javier Esposito is one of a kind, loyal, trustworthy, and strong. Javi's one of the few people Kevin loves more than his own life, one of the few who he wouldn't even blink before taking a bullet for. And out of all the people who fit that description, Javi's the only one who Kevin's truly in love with.

Maybe that makes him selfish and self-centred, putting Javi's existence in his life over the lives of countless faceless women, but Kevin doesn't care.

He's given his life to serving and protecting the people of New York. Keeping the person who is his life isn't a big thing to ask for in return.

Hope you like it :)

Please drop a review on your way out, I'd love to hear about your feelings about this piece.