The Hope of the Flame
Author: Kat-lady04
Pairings: 3x4, Background 1x2 & 5xS, 3X?... Might be more in there somewhere.
Warnings: Angst (by the bucketload), language, yaoi (what else?), het (if I have to warn for one I'm gonna warn for 'em all) sap, OOC in parts.
Summary: Through all the time and tribulation they had been through one thing always stayed constant for Quatre and Trowa: no matter what happened, their flame would never go out. But can it stay lit even when logic says otherwise?
Prologue
"When I make it back from my mission, as long as I see a candle burning I'll know that there's still something to come home to, and that you haven't given up on me." Trowa gently cupped Quatre's face and leaned forward to kiss him. "I love you with all of my heart. Please don't give up on me. I promise, I will come back to you. Don't let the light go out."
It had started during the war, this code between lovers. A burning candle meant hope was still there and they would still be welcomed home. No candle, no hope, no welcome. A simple enough code that held them and comforted them through rough times when there was little else to keep them from falling apart. After the wars were over and all five of the ex-Gundam pilots joined with the Preventers, Quatre and Trowa still held on to their code; during missions, long nights spent at the office, and fights where one would storm out of the house to cool off, the candle would always be burning when they came home.
Always.
Chapter 1
When Une's near frantic voice called Quatre into her office, he knew that something had gone horribly wrong on Trowa's mission. Une never panicked, she was always calm and composed. It was a matter of pride for her. Quatre burst into Une's office at a dead run, worry and anxiety rolling off of him in waves. Before he could say anything Une beckoned him to the vidphone on her desk.
"He needs to talk to you." She said, her voice breaking slightly and she left the room, giving the young men the privacy they were going to need for this.
Quatre hurried to the vidphone, his stomach in knots and his heart pounding. He knew that this call would change his life beyond all fixing. The first thing he noticed when Trowa came into view on the vidphone was that he could see both of Trowa's beautiful green eyes, his bang that usually hid his eye from view had been cut off in a straight line just above his eyebrow. There was a bloody line where the hair stopped so it was easy to tell what had caused the change. Smoke was drifting around behind Trowa and sparks flew from various spots around the room. As Quatre came into view of the camera on the vidphone Trowa's face broke into a sad smile, he wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to his husband.
"Quatre," He began, somewhat hesitantly. "I've got some bad news love." He winced internally at the understatement, and the look of dawning horror on Quatre's face. "There was a problem on the mission and it looks like I might not make it back to you."
"No." Quatre whispered, tears beginning to pour down his face. "Please…Trowa…" His voice choked off as a sob stuck in his throat making Trowa's heart break a little more.
"Oh, Quatre. I am so sorry, if there was any possible way for me to make it back to you, you know I would." Explosions were heard in the distance and the vidphone wavered for a moment before stilling. Trowa glanced behind him before turning back to gaze upon his angel's heartbroken face, cringing inside at the tears he saw there. He hated to see Quatre cry; he hated it even more when he was the one to cause the tears. "I love you so much, don't ever forget that."
Holding in the sobs that were tearing him apart from the inside, Quatre ran his fingertips along his husband's face, longing to feel real skin instead of a screen. "I know. I love you too. Trowa-" He was cut off by another explosion that knocked the screen to static for a moment and he felt as though his heart had stopped until the screen flickered back to into focus. "Trowa!"
"I-I have to go now Quatre. This place is going to go any minute now. I just wanted to see you one more time and let you know that I'm sorry that I had to break my promise to come back to you and that I will always love you." Static erupted across the screen taking the sight but not the voice of his lover. "Goodbye my love." Before it too was silenced and all that remained in the room was the static and a broken man with a shattered heart.
"NO, Trowa! Please no, don't leave me! TROWA!" Quatre collapsed in front of the desk, bruising his knees but not feeling a thing, his body was too numb. Whatever had stopped his sobs disappeared along with Trowa's voice and he couldn't stop the tears and cries that felt like they had originated in his very bones.
Une rushed in when she heard Quatre scream in time to see him fall, his body shaking with the force of his sobs while his right hand was still pressed against the static filled screen as though it was trying to reach through and hold on to his husband. Her heart broke as she ran forward to gather the shattered man into her arms. She may not have been the most compassionate of people, but she was still human and the sight of the usually quiet and gentle man in as much pain as he was in would have moved harder hearts than hers to pity. Tears were streaming down her own face as she rocked him back and forth slightly, holding him tightly as if she could keep him from breaking apart through the strength of her arms alone.
After a few minutes of sobbing Quatre abruptly stopped and Une wondered if he had passed out until she heard his muffled voice in a tone she had never heard from him before.
"Where is he?" Quatre's voice had turned cold and hard, almost like Duo's did when...oh shit. When he turned Shinigami. Quatre could be dangerous enough in his own right; she didn't want to see how he would be under the influence of his own version of Duo's darker half.
"Quatre, there's nothing you can do. It takes a day and a half to get there. It'll be too late to do anything."
"Where. Is. He?"
Quatre looked up at Une then and she saw that tears were still coursing unheeded down his face, making his cold tone seem even more out of place. He got up out of her embrace and they both stood, facing each other. "I'm going to get him and bring him home." Here his voice cracked and wavered slightly before firming once again. "No matter what, I'm bringing him home."
Une sighed, recognizing the famous Gundam Pilot stubbornness that they all displayed and knew fighting him would be a lost cause. "Colony Outpost 30194 on the edges of the L3 cluster. Like I said, it's a day and a half trip. Are you taking anybody with you?"
"Yeah." She turned at the voice from behind her. "Us." There, in the doorway, stood the other three, their faces a mix of heartache and determination. Duo spoke again, "Get a ship ready Une. We're leaving as soon as possible." Knowing that if she didn't do it they would just steal one anyway, she did as they said. A half an hour later they were boarding the Preventers' fastest shuttle and preparing for launch. The countdown progressed from ten to one and Une watched as they shot off into space to retrieve their missing fifth. One thing shook Une to her very core and she knew she would never forget it until the day she died.
From the time the call came in until she lost sight of them when they boarded the shuttle, Quatre never once stopped crying those silent tears.
When Une said it would take a day and a half she wasn't putting it into Desperation time. Fifteen hours after they left Earth they spotted Outpost 30194 and their hearts sank a little more at the sight that met their eyes. There was no way anybody could have survived. Duo and Heero, the first to see the wreckage from the cockpit could see no less than four hull breaches on the part of the outpost they could see alone, there was no telling how many more there where that they couldn't see. The space surrounding the outpost was filled with debris, chunks of colored ice, probably bloodstained, and bodies. Those were the worst. None of them were suited up, evidence that the explosions caught them completely unawares.
Duo tried to avoid hitting the bodies with the ship as they approached the docking bay, but there were too many of them. He could hear them thunk heavily against the hull whenever he was unable to maneuver around them and he nearly lost what little was in his stomach when, while swerving to avoid hitting a large metal thing that at one time might have been a generator, he collided with one of the bodies head on. He and Heero were able to get a glimpse of empty eye sockets, dark hair, and a horrified expression etched on its face before the frozen body broke apart when it made contact with the windshield, a new spray of red ice peppering the hull the entire length of the ship. Both pilots felt sick at the thought that the next body they hit could very well be their friend's. Silently, they pulled the ship into the docking bay and all four donned their suits and tried to prepare themselves for the worst.
Quatre had his space heart stretched to its full capacity, set to Trowa, but he couldn't find even a spark of the man he loved. They started their search from the docking bay and split up each taking a doorway and, pushing aside the few bodies still floating inside after checking each face for familiar features, worked their way into the bowels of the outpost.
The four pilots searched for what felt like hours, finding over a dozen bodies but none of them were Trowa. No one was left alive on the outpost; if they hadn't died from the explosions or gunfire, the hull breaches had finished them off. From the look of things, there hadn't been enough time for them to put their spacesuits on before the explosions punched holes through both the inner and outer hulls. Hope of finding Trowa, alive or not, faded as time passed and no trace turned up.
The residual emotions in the air were wreaking havoc with Quatre's space heart, making it nearly impossible to pinpoint anything that felt even remotely like Trowa. Finally, after a seemingly endless search, they came upon the room that Quatre remembered as the one Trowa had been in when he had made the vidphone call, and he could finally feel something from Trowa. Fear, sadness, pain and love: those were the strongest that he could pick up, but nothing new. Every emotion, every shred of his Trowa was old, fading. There was nothing to lead him to where his love was now, just emptiness, meaning that Trowa was either out of range, unconscious, blocking himself completely, or… No, he wasn't going to think like that. He wouldn't believe that Trowa was dead until he saw the body for himself. He flat out refused to believe it.
Suddenly Duo's voice rang out over the still and silent room, a beacon of hope in an otherwise dark and dismal atmosphere. "Hey, guys! I think I might've found something!" The others turned and moved to the far corner where Duo stood as fast as they could.
"Did you find him?" Quatre called, hope and panic chasing themselves around in his head while his mind chanted to itself, 'Please be alive, pleaseohpleaseohplease.' Over and over again.
"No," Duo said quieter than before, "but look at this, one of the escape pods is missing." He met Quatre's pain-filled eyes. "Maybe he got off the outpost in time."
Despite the staggering unlikelihood that of all the people on the outpost during the accident that Trowa was the one to use the escape pod, Quatre grabbed onto that one slim chance presented to him with all his might.
"Yes, that must be it. We'll check the area around the outpost and put in a call to the closest colonies and space traffic control to be on the lookout for an escape pod. I'm sure we'll find him." Quatre said. He knew he was being optimistic to an extreme degree, but he couldn't give up hope. Not on Trowa.
"Sure Quat. I bet we'll find him in no time!" Duo played along, giving Quatre the smile he needed to see and started steering his blond friend back towards the shuttle. He knew there was little to no hope that Trowa was still alive but he wanted to believe so badly it hurt.
End chapter 1?
A/N: Well, here's the first chapter, I hope you like it. This is another one of those stories that the summary played out in a dream I had about three years ago and the whole thing has been haunting me since. There's still quite a bit in the middle I've got to work out and get down on paper but I have the ending finished. It's probably only going to be about five-ish chapters long, I think.
Please review and give feedback, it really helps.
44