The Gleefully Random Misadventures of Lyn of the Lorca

Or

The Misadventures

A/N: My version of why the ballista always misses Lyn before that battle in her tale. Here are my wonderful muses to introduce the disclaimer!

Hector: Why do I have to be here?!

Kent: Just say the disclaimer so you won't end up in one of the Misadventures.

Hector: ...Right. BSA does not own Fire Emblem or else all of the Misadventures would actually be in the game. And she swears that she doesn't own Ballista Guy either.

Kent: Thank Elimine.

...What was that?

Kent: N-nothing!

...Okay! Carry on then!

Hector: ...

Kent: Phew.

Lyn of the Lorca and her posse walked out of that random forest that appears a lot.

"..."

"What is it Nils?" Lyn of the Lorca queried.

"...I feel a disturbance..."

"I feel it too." Nils's sister Ninian, whom I believe is his twin (correct me if I'm wrong) but still manages to look a lot older than him, agreed.

"Wake up! Sleeping on the job? I should dock you pay for that!" The Commander shouted.

"Ugh...guuah...?" The Ballista Guy incoherently questioned.

"Arg! Just do what I pay you to do!" The Commander yelled, storming off.

"..." Now, the Ballista Guy was regretful that he had one too many beers at the pub the night before, and cursed all pubs to an inevitable fate in pub hell for an eternity. Of course, that didn't take care of his monster hangover, so he drunkenly swaggered to the actual ballista and randomly shot an arrow over the micro-mini mountain (say that five times fast).

"GWACKQTCVORZWMPA" DORKass exclaimed when that arrow pierced through his neck and sliced his head off. He blinked twice and then vanished, 'cause we all know how useless he is.

"...I think that was aiming for you Lady Lyndis." Kent obviously stated.

"Well thank Elimine that DORKass was conveniently right there to die for me! Mwahaha!" Lyn laughed absolutely un-ladylike, causing everyone to take a step or two back for their own personal safety.

And when they told DORKass's wife, Natalie, she became heartbroken and took on the job of a 20 dollar whore, but no one would "employ" her because of her fluxed up leg.

...Yup. That is the fluxed up crapshit that goes through my head during that 7 hours of that hellhole we all know as school.

Kent: Poor DORKass...I mean Dorcas...

Okay that didn't really explain anything but it was fun to write! Review, review, review! Any ideas are welcome too! (Rhyme!)