Hey guys, this is my first Free! Fanc fic, new to this fandom, so excuse any OOCness. Reviews will make me super happy and I'll continue, my rule is if there's at least 2 reviews then I'll continue. I hope you enjoy! If any questions or comments or confusion, feel free to PM me anytime!

I no own Free! Iwatobi Swim Club

Rin convinced himself that he can't be around them anymore. Haru knows Rin's hiding something from him. Rei is tired of all the drama. Nagisa is confused. And Makoto has become rivals with Rin. Angsty!Rin, Sassy!Rei…mentions of suicidal thoughts,and overall feels-ish stuff.

"It's painfully obvious you're watching him." Rei emerged on the rooftop overlooking the pool.

"Hn, I'm watching all of you idiots." Rin grunted and ignored Rei, and kept an eye on his friends, they had been hanging out when Rin had excused himself suddenly. Rei could long tell that there was something still bothering Rin, thus bothering the rest of his teammates.

"I don't get it…all the drama, could've been avoided. Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Rei deadpanned.

"Why don't you mind your own damn business? If you can't tell, I don't exactly like you." His voice was warning him not to tread any further into the subject, but statistically Rei had nothing to lose, besides a bruised face, and he could deal with that later.

"That's clear as water, but they are my friends too. They want you around, and it's kind of sad to see them this way. At least give a reasonable excuse, then I will leave you to your 'watching'. You owe me that much."Rei sighed.

"I don't have to explain a damn thing to you! I didn't ask you to fucking give up your spot, okay? You came to me! So don't act like you were worried about me!" Rin snapped.

"You're right, I wasn't worried about you, I was worried about Haruka-senpai. I think…if I dare say, he may reciprocate your feelings." Rei smirked as if he deduced the biggest mystery of them all.

"Cheh, what do you know? You tell Nagisa yet?" Rin raised a brow at the underclassman.

"W-what do you mean? What about Nagisa?" Rei looked confused.

"Oh you blind bastard, don't come to me about my love life when you have none!" Rin hissed.

"So you do love Haruka-senpai!" He chuckled mildly happy that his conclusion was right.

"What about it!" Rin yelled. "You gonna mock me for liking a guy! I don't like guys! I just like him, one guy, that's all, I'm not…I'm not gay!"Rin realized how gay he sounded and ended up making it sound worse. He innerly scolded himself for making it sound like he was a hypocritical homophobe.

"I am not a homophobe, Rin-san. I go both ways myself. I don't find limiting yourself to one sex beneficial, I never wanted kids." Rei corrected him, pushing up his glasses.

"Too much damn information."Rin scooted away from Rei.

"I do find Nagisa quite attractive now that you mention it…"

"Fuck! Too much! Your just like Nitori, just be quiet!"

"Tell me your reasons, then. Or im going to go into detail."Rin had underestimated how cunning the bluenette was, he definitely did not want a mental image of the small blonde sexually at all!

"You wouldn't."Rin challenged.

"No one is around to hear but you."Rei shrugged.

"FU_Fine! Take a good look at him."Rin gave in, realizing he's trapped. Rin and Rei had been away from the edge for a while, there's no way he could see what's happening.

Rei looked over and saw Makoto handing Haruka a towel.

"Yes?" Rei asked in confusion, Makoto is always taking care of Haruka, there was no epiphany or anything out of the norm.

"Makoto loves Haru too, I'm not going to get in between that. It'll ruin our friendship, plus I'm not going to be around for very long anyway. I just want to be friends for as long as we can." Rin's face looked distant and pained, the look of long hidden pain, something that could be easily covered and disguised as anger with his usual scowl.

"What do you mean? Are you transferring? You say that like you're dying or something." Rei said trying to get more information.

"I might as well." The silence grew thick when Rin finally turned to leave. "I'm going home, tell the others."

Rin's POV

Damn that kid! Why the hell did he tell him? He could go off and tell the others! I'm so damn stupid! I took my anger out on a trashcan, damn it! That hurt! Calm down!

I was planning to distance myself someday…I just…we just repaired everything, things were great…why did it have to be now?

If they come up to me and as I'll have to tell them it's none of their business. The time for me to leave is coming…no matter how much I wish it wouldn't…and when it comes, I don't want them or anyone else to see me like that.

Sydney Hospital, Austrailia (when Rin was in middle school)

"So as I see it you're very lucky kiddo. You have several years before it'll take effect." Dr. Jackman smiled.

"Oh, I see." Was all I could say…I was going to slowly lose control over my body, and become a vegetable? How I was even supposed to react to that? I felt totally fine! But here he was telling me something was wrong with me!

"Isn't there anything you can do?! He's so young! Maybe there's something that can be done?" Okaa-san was in tears, I wanted her to stop because then I would cry…and that would only make her even more dramatic.

"I'm afraid not, ma'am. Its neural anomaly, we only know what it does and what it looks like. All attempts at removing it had either killed or severely damaged the patient mentally. It's slow, he'll lose control from the feet up. Just one day you'll wake up and not be able to walk." He deadpanned, dropping his smile.

"Will I be able to talk?" I raised a brow, wow, not being able to move sucks and all but it will be far off, what else will affect me?

"Yeah, for some reason the neck up is unaffected, it's just your if it's any consolation, you'll be able to feel them…you just won't be able to move them. I'm sorry." Sorry? As long as I can still talk I'll be fine…I think?

"Yeah, it's not your fault." I jumped off the table. "Can I talk to my mom alone for a bit?"

"Yeah, take your time." He left quickly and quietly, and my mom sunk to her knees in tears.

"No! Not my baby! Why does all the men in my life die?!" She practically screamed, it wasn't even in English, she just lost it and started speaking Japanese. I didn't get it, I was going to be a be a vegetable, not die… I'll be fine, right?

"Mom, I'll still be here, just not able to move. And I have until I'm like what 21? 22?"

"That's when you're supposed to start living it isn't fair!" She wailed, while I rubbed her back.

"Come on, mom. You're acting like Gou, I'll be fine, okay? I'm just happy I have time to fulfill my dream!" I smiled, and she hugged me.

"You're so strong, just like your father. Is there anything you want? Anywhere you wanna go?" She asked, I felt bad dragging her all the way to Australia to study abroad, now she's asking if I want more? I can't…

"Someday, I want to go back to Japan. And... if it's alright if we still visit dad, like we planned?" I asked, she tried to smile but just ended up whimpering, if this is how mom reacts to it, Gou will be ten times worse, we better not tell her.

"Of course, we have to now. Why go back to Japan?" She asked, puzzled now.

I want to see them…

"When I enter the Olympics, I wanna represent Japan, of course!" I smiled giving her the thumbs up. Then it hit me…if I can't move, I can never swim again. Well, that sucks! 21 or 22, so I'll just be starting college! That means I'll have to be recognized while in high school! Geez! What does God have against me?!

Just then Gou opened the door, she was so small and already a crybaby, she claimed to hate me but always clung to me when others were around.

"So, what up Rin?" She stopped when she saw mom, she had needed to use the bathroom so she didn't hear the news, thank God.

"Oh look! Your face scared mom so bad that she cried!" I laughed, she puffed up her cheeks in annoyance. She'd be heartbroken, if she really understood. And she'd cling to me constantly, more than she already had. I just want everything to be normal, the way it was, as if this neural anoma-whatchamacallit never existed, it'll only distract me from my goal and make me bummed.

I just wanted to be strong for mom, I am the man of the family now. I can't cry and yell to the heavens how unfair this all is, like I wanted to.

I looked to Gou then mom, yes, I just want it all to be normal, so it'd all be okay. For them and me.

At first I didn't get why my mom was crying so hard, but now I know. The time for the illness to start affecting my body is coming closer. I'm scared, so fucking scared, I keep having nightmares about it. And every single touching moment, I have the urge to cry immediately knowing that this happiness can't last. I want to be content with what has happened so far but I can't. There's nothing I can do to stop it. And it will destroy be not only physically but mentally, even socially!

I'll have no career after, what if it affects me before I get recognized? What if I don't get recognized at all? I'll be crippled and depressed, there won't be anything left for me but a lifetime of television, tears, and being a burden.

I often thought maybe…it'd be better if I didn't exist after the disease takes my legs. But before all that a childhood friend of mine has promised to house me and help me along far away from Haru ,Gou ,Makoto, and everyone else. I just don't want them to see me like this, it's sad, it'll make them sad, and it'll depress the fuck out of me for sure. I don't want their pity…it'd hurt me more than anything.

How could I ever think of telling Haru how I feel when I'm going to be leaving? I tried to distance myself by making an ass out of myself and challenging Haru, but they fucking forgave me and took me back in as if nothing had happened. I can't say I'm not glad it happened, I was so happy I could've died right there. But...I can't forgive myself for letting that accepting their friendship again, I'm leaving, I'm going to only hurt them even more. I don't want to burden anyone or hurt anyone ever again!

My phone beeped on the way home a text…from Haru.

Mackerel: Rei told me what happened.

"I'll have to strangle that weirdo later…" I sighed, texting Haru back.

Rin: Look Haru, I don't want to talk about it.

Mackerel: Well I do.

"You're so damn stubborn." I 'tsked' and pocketed the phone, entering a convenient store for some grub.

I ignored the text when my phone rang several times.

Rin: What?!

Mackerel: Don't transfer.

"He told him I was transferring? Can tell if the bastard was trying to be considerate or not, maybe I'll just punch him…" I texted back in curiosity.

Rin: Why?

Mackerel: Because I might like you.

I couldn't resist the temptation and texted immediately.

Rin: Might?

Mackerel: Nevermind.

"Uh-uh, you Mackerel! Finish what you started!" I yelled, catching the eye of all the people in line for check out.

Rin: Like water like? Or Makoto like?

Mackerel: Water like…I guess.

I shouldn't be disappointed but I am. Really? I guess, it wasn't meant to be, as long as he's happy…I'm not going to stop him.

Rin: Oh.

Mackerel:I have to go, mackerel is in danger of being burnt.

I smiled, an excuse to escape, huh? Well…I tried to recover our friendship with my usual sarcasm, as if this was a normal chat.

Rin: Oh no. The world is ending.

Mackerel: Shut up.

Rin: You first.

Mackerel: K, bye.

Rin: Whatever.

I went home and laid on the bed, Gou was blasting some boy band songs in the room next door and mom was cooking…Mackerel, by the way it smelled. Damn, just can't escape, huh?

I closed my eyes trying to forget everything that was going to happen, so I'll avoid having to force myself to stay up in fear that when I wake up, I won't be able to get out of bed. When I heard my phone ring again.

Mackerel: I like Makoto a lot, but water is something I can't live without, it's an obsession for me. I just don't want you to misunderstand. Sorry for the time.

My heart beat fast, he…might actually like me too? Damn it, no, Rin, just play it off. This isn't a confession. Y-you're just seeing what you want to see.

Rin: Who can live without water? I got it, you want me to stay.

"It's best if you stay away, Haru. I'll break if you come any closer, and if I come any closer to you, I'll only break you." I sighed, listen to me, I sound sappy as fuck, what is the 'The Notebook'?!

Mackerel: Don't do that. Don't play it off. I know what you're trying to do. Stop.

"I wish I could."