Hello friends. Star Wars, amirite?
The thing about heroes is no one ever talks about what they have to give up.
To Poe Dameron, his parents were heroes. Both had fought in, and survived, the battle at Endor. In truth they were just like every other adult on Yavin, but to a ten year old Poe, who grew up hearing stories of their bravery, they were practically legends.
All he ever wanted to be was just like them.
It isn't until years later, after he's well established in the Resistance with a reputation as the best pilot in the galaxy, does he start to see hints of what it really takes to be a hero.
He sees it in his squadrons eyes after the lose one of their own, and he knows they can see it in his, too. It's in General Organas demeanor every time she has to send troops on anything other than a supply run. It's everywhere around the base, and it never really leaves.
A shadow that follows them around. That hangs over all of them like a cloak. A shadow that says 'Yes, I survived, but no, I won't be the same."
And now that he knows how to spot it, he realizes that it was there with his parents, but he never understood what it was.
Then, after Jakku and the First Order, after the destruction of Starkiller Base, Poe begins to wish he wasn't a hero at all.
There's commotion everywhere as everyone works over time to move to a new base, but they still find time to whisper in awe about him.
Survived Kylo Ren.
Stole a TIE fighter right out of the Orders hangar.
Blew up Starkiller.
Found the map to Skywalker.
He wants to tell them the truth. About the restlessness and inability to sleep. The god awful nightmares when he finally does nod off. How he jumps every time someone even remotely catches him by surprise. How he's felt wrong in his own head ever since.
Because if it meant not having to deal with all that, he'd give up being a hero in a D'Qar minute.
*Gives big smile and points to the review and favorite buttons*