Only A Dream
Disclaimer: You all know, I don't own and never will own CSI!
Being called to a crime scene I grab my silver flight case and head out to take one of the departmental Tahoes. Turning on the radio I softly sing to the songs. We are pretty busy tonight, so I have to work this case solo. After half an hour I finally arrive at the scene. It seems like a pretty standard stuff: A body has been found in the desert, apparently shot. The man lies flat on his back, so I can't see his face yet. But somehow he seems familiar with blond spiky hair standing in all directions. I feel my muscles tightening and fight against the urge to puke, already knowing who it is but I doesn't want to accept it. Tears start to form in my eyes and my breath quickens. It can't be… No. Resolutely fighting the tears I draw closer now taking a better look at the body. No… It's really him… It's my Greggo, lying there shot, his brown eyes open, accusing me that I haven't been there to prevent it… "I'm so sorry, G…" I whisper dropping to my knees. I feel one single burning tear running down my left cheek raising no hand to wipe it off. I'm paralyzed, the only thing I'm able to do is to grab his cold hand. Oh, it had been so warm just a few hours before… I can almost feel it on my skin again, his light touch, I can feel his lips pressed to mine, his slim body in my arms, my fingers running through his hair, his skin… "No!" I cry out when it hits me at last that I'll never be able to hold him again, to say "I love you"…
Then someone shakes me, softly, yet persistent… Almost as if it's him. It's pretty dark all of a sudden, just bright enough to make out a silhouette leaning over me and somehow I'm lying on my bed. "Schhhhh…" A voice I immediately identify as Greg's says. What? Wait… He's alive! Relief floods through me and I desperately cling to him, still my fear to lose him lingering like a poison in my heart. "Just a dream, Nicky…" He whispers as he holds me tight striking my back soothingly. He knows about my fear, I told him after the first nightmare I had after he moved in. "Same dream?" Yeah, it was always a similar one, where I lose him and there's nothing I can do. I always feel so helpless… So I just nod against his chest where I buried my head inhaling his scent. I know what he'll do, he always does… and it always helps. Taking me chin between his thumb and his index finger he forces my head up gingerly and meets my eyes staring into them for a few seconds. Then he leans forward to press a soft kiss on my lips. Taking my right hand he places it right over his heart saying: "Feel this? It won't stop soon, I promise and as long as it beats I'm yours… body and soul." For the first time I speak sighing "I know. And I'm yours" and leaning back into his embrace letting his closeness comfort me. And he'll hold me as long as I need it just as I would in return.
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