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Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter nor the characters. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling.
Lily would never understand it.
And by it, she meant James Potter. He made no sense. He was a mystery. And Lily hated that. You would think, by now in sixth year, that she would know her classmate well, but no. He was just as an annoyance and a mystery to her as he was on the first day of school.
Every time Lily was sure she knew what James Potter, she was proved wrong. On the first day on the Hogwarts Express, she had been positive that the mean bully James would definitely be put in Slytherin. He deserved it, of course, and his friend Sirius too, for teasing her best friend Severus.
But of course, James Potter was sorted into Gryffindor (Lily's personal preference over Slytherin, even if she didn't tell Sev that), proving Lily wrong for the first time of many in the years to come.
Lily didn't think James really deserved to be in Gryffindor. He wasn't brave; no, James Potter only fought when he knew he would win. He wasn't noble either; Lily hadn't seen him saving anyone else's hides except for his and his friends. His chivalry didn't go very far; he may act charming, but he was a big bully, and he knew it.
As Lily took a seat in Transfiguration - not her best class, but one of her favorites nevertheless - she wondered how he did everything he did. She frowned at him across the room. Charming, smooth James Potter. The prankster and bully who was never caught, the guy who all the girls loved even though he would date a girl and then throw her out like last week's trash. He was a giant fraud, and an insult to Gryffindors. Lily's fists clenched as she watched as he leaned back on the two back legs of his chair. He chatted with Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. Four boys, one group. Lily sighed in annoyance and lowered her eyes as James caught her looking and smirked. She waited a second before she was sure he was looking away (and for the heat in her cheeks to diminish) before carefully peering back at him. What was it with that boy?
Lily jolted as someone cleared their throat. "Lily?" A familiar, hesitant voice asked.
Her head turned, and her annoyance vanished for a moment at the sight of her… uh, best friend? She was sad to say she couldn't really call Severus that anymore. They never hung out as much, since they were in different houses and had different schedules, but she was always happy to see him. Severus's posture relaxed as Lily smiled brightly.
"Sev! How come you're my partner?" Without thinking, Lily blurted it out, and then immediately regretted it. Severus's brow furrowed.
"Well," he said carefully, almost looking scared. "I thought you would want to, you know, since McGonagall told Slytherins to pair up with Gryffindors and vice versa." He explained awkwardly, hesitantly, and Lily smiled fondly Poor, awkward Severus. "Besides," Severus looked distastefully around the room. "You're the only decent Gryffindor," he complimented, his sneer turning into a smile.
Lily's smile faltered, but she quickly forced a grin back on her face. She knew Severus meant no harm, but he was pretty harsh to her friends sometimes. James Potter may be a prat, but most Gryffindors were great. Lily hoped Severus's friends' influence wouldn't drive him away from her even more. "Oh, of course." Her eyes flicked around the room, noticing everyone's bad moods immediately. For a moment, she doubted Professor McGonagall. What sane teacher would pair up a Gryffindor and Slytherin? Already, she could see the scowls and frowns and muttered teases and insults.
There was a moment of awkward silence between her and Severus as he sat down and put his book on the desk. He stared at her for a moment before Lily cleared her throat, smiling.
"So, I didn't see you in Charms yesterday." Severus started at the sound of her voice, and blushed. Lily wondered for a moment if he was hiding something.
"I was, um, helping Professor Binns with something."
Lily squinted at her friend. She didn't believe him. In fact, she had a large suspicion on what he had really been doing. The Ravenclaw Prefects, a girl named Joanne and a boy named Rolf, had told her about finding some Slytherin Sixth Years skulking around yesterday during class time, but Lily hoped and prayed that Severus hadn't been one of them. She knew they wouldn't be up to any good. "Okay," she tells him carefully, hoping that if she dismisses it, it won't happen again.
Severus smiled, and looked as if he's about to say something, but then Professor McGonagall spoke up. Her voice silenced the entire class in an instant, and Lily was filled with awe yet again by her young Professor. As the Professor started the introduction to the lesson, Lily tried to listen, even when Severus tried to pass her a note. She shot him a look and he was quieted, turning towards Professor with a sour look on his face.
After a quick introduction, Professor McGonagall grabbed a stack of parchment and began handing out papers. "These are your essays on the History of Transfiguration," the young woman said briskly. She was in her late twenties, quite close to the sixth years' ages, but she was one of the best teachers Lily had. Professor McGonagall was just as scary now as she would probably be in the future for many generations to come.
Lily waited eagerly in her seat for her paper. She was sure she had done a good job this time, unlike last time, and she always enjoyed getting a paper back. Unlike some of her friends, Lily enjoyed school, but she did have to try a little harder in some classes more than others. Transfiguration, although a fun class, was slightly more difficult for Lily than Potions, for example.
Since James was in the front of the room, he received his paper early, and Lily couldn't help but take a peek. She couldn't help it. On the front of his essay, a big fat 'O' marked the paper, labeling it as outstanding. Lily felt both relief and disgust. She was happy James had gotten the good marking mostly because that meant that of course she would be fine too. But she was disgusted by James, who she knew hadn't been paying attention during that class (don't judge her for watching him that day, he was very distracting).
As Professor McGonagall approached Lily, the red-head watched as Professor's pleased face changed to a look of disappointment. The professor said nothing, and Lily could only imagine how bad of a grade she had gotten.
Her smile falling, Lily reached and took her essay. She furrowed her brow at the grade. An A? How could she have gotten an A? 'A' meant acceptable, of course, but that was very near a P, standing for Poor. Lily furrowed her brow. How could she have gotten something so… low? She'd tried to so hard on this, and she'd thought she'd known the subject too. A was barely even passing.
Severus noticed her confused, disappointed face. "Are you alright?" He leaned over to see her paper, but she tucked it under her book and forced a smile. It wasn't a big deal, and she was sure Severus wouldn't really care.
"It's nothing," Lily said hastily. Severus looked as if he was going to respond, but he must've seen her defiant gaze, because he quickly turned away to look at his own essay. Lily watched as he put it away with a quiet indifference (he'd gotten a decent grade, which made her even more hesitant to show him her paper) and took out a roll of parchment, covered with Severus's familiar scrawl.
"What are you doing?" Lily questioned in confusion. "What's that? We didn't have homework."
Severus cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, we did."
Lily gulped. "No, we didn't. I mean, I left early for prefect duty yesterday, but Mary told me we didn't get any homework yesterday."
Severus furrowed his brow. "That's because we didn't. Not yesterday, at least. We got this assignment a week ago."
Lily paled. "What?" She breathed. "But I…" She must've completely blanked out over the weekend. Now that she thought about it, she did faintly remember Professor McGonagall assigning another paper. Se must've forgotten. And Lily now recalled why.
James Potter, of course, the night she had planned to do the assignment, had pulled one of his ridiculous pranks. She had been so angry that night, it seems, that she'd entirely forgotten to write the essay.
Lily sighed in frustration. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she muttered. "So bloody forgetful," she chided herself.
When Professor McGonagall arrived at her desk, Lily concluded that her professor was just as surprised by Lily that Lily was upset with herself. As Lily sullenly told McGonagall that she'd forgotten, she could see the disapproval in her student. Lily rarely forgot an assignment. How could she have forgotten?
A barking laugh came from the front of the classroom, and Lily was again angered and annoyed. Oh, right, Potter was why she'd forgotten. Or rather, perfect Potter, with his perfect grade. Lily scowled and slammed her book shut on her essay. How was it even possible that he'd gotten a good grade on that essay? He never paid attention in class, much to Lily's dismay. How could Professor McGonagall not notice James and his 'cronies' whispering in the back of class every day? Was he a favorite? Sure, Professor did have a soft spot for any Gryffindor Quidditch players, but Lily didn't think her professor was like that. No, it must be something else…
Maybe Remus helped him, Lily mused. But that idea quickly vanished. She'd gotten to know Remus Lupin well this year, and she didn't think he would do that. Unlike his friends, Remus was a decently good person. Lily hoped James and Sirius wouldn't reflect too badly on him.
As McGonagall began her lecture, Lily tried to stay attentive, honest, she did, but it's hard. It wasn't that McGonagall was boring, but Professor was constantly getting distracted. Lily could see the regret in her Professor's eyes for pairing up the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Every few minutes, a small argument would ensue, and so McGonagall would have to stop her talk and tell the students to, well, shut up, or in nicer words, be quiet. This made Lily's eyes wander.
They happened to land on, what do you know, James Potter. Lily frowned at the boy from across the room. He was in the second row, to the right slightly, and from the back she had a perfect view of the back of his head. Next to him, she recognized Narcissa Black's white-blonde sheet of straight-as-a-pin hair. The young woman sat up, her back as flat as the table, unlike James, who was slouching and leaning back on his chair, again balancing on the back two legs - which was really starting to annoy Lily, by the way. He seemed to be teasing Narcissa with a bright grin and many winks. Lily felt a surge of anger. No, she was not jealous. She was angry at James Potter for being a good-for-nothing prat.
Class seemed to drag on and on, and Lily knew she should be listening and taking notes, but Potter… it was like he was purposely being distracting, just to make her watch him. How long would he pester Narcissa before she broke? When would McGonagall notice how disruptive James was (as he somehow simultaneously badgered the young Slytherin and passed notes with Sirius at the same time)?
James caught Lily watching once. He looked happy, pleased, which made Lily angry when he beamed at her. She wondered how his head didn't fall off with that big of an ego. So what if all the girls liked him? That didn't mean she did. Just because he had thick, dark raven locks that always seemed so naturally windblown didn't mean he was a good person. Just because he had an admittedly nice figure from playing Quidditch and lively, bright hazel eyes paired with a lopsided grin didn't mean Lily Evans would ever like James Potter.
All throughout the lesson, Lily brushed away Severus's attempts to talk. Rude, she knew, but he wasn't really helping his case. He could tell she was watching Potter, and that made him angry. Lily didn't know why. How could he possibly think she could ever like him? Wasn't one of the few commodities between them the fact that they both disliked James Potter?
And did Severus truly think she believed what lie he had told her earlier. Lily was hurt he wasn't telling the truth, and angry with him for doing what she suspected. How could he just follow along with the other Slytherins? How could Severus want to be evil? Enjoy it, even?
"Miss Evans."
Lily snapped out of her thoughts.
Her face paled as she noticed the shadow over her desk. She glanced up slowly to meet her professor's eyes. "Yes?" she squeaked. She blushed bright red when someone snickered. Clearing her throat she said again, "Yes, Professor?"
McGonagall peered at her over her glasses. Her brown eyes were narrowed disapprovingly, and Lily felt her stomach sink as her teacher looked at the paper still sticking out of her book.
"Did you hear my instruction, Miss Evans?" McGonagall asked.
Lily shook her head slowly. The heat in her face was beginning to fade, but now she felt pale. "No, Professor."
McGonagall narrowed her eyes to slits, like a cat's. "Please pronounce the incantation we've been discussing this entire class period."
Lily swallowed. Great, now everyone would know she hadn't been paying attention. She couldn't afford to get a detention today. She had prefects duty, and a Charms essay. And now, a late Transfiguration paper. And if that test signified anything, it meant she needed to get her Transfiguration grade up. Merlin's pants, she should've paid attention. "I…" Lily blinked. "I wasn't…"
"Listening?" Professor McGonagall finished coolly. Lily's guilt increased when she saw the disappointment in her teacher's eyes. "I think we've gathered that by now, Miss Evans. Now why don't you check the board?"
Lily's cheeks heated, and she squinted at the board. Well, did she regret sitting near the back today. "Fr- Frilt… Friltium." Lily cleared her throat. "Rentriola." She finished awkwardly, "Friltium Rentriola."
Professor McGonagall tsked slightly under her breath. "Miss Evans, you seem to be quite distracted today." Lily's stomach sunk at her Professor's cool, warning tone. She knew what was coming. "I think that it is suitable that-"
A loud shriek interrupted Professor McGonagall.
Narcissa Black was out of her chair, yelping as multiple wadded-up paper balls hit her over and over again, messing up her straight white-blonde hair and pristine Slytherin uniform.
With a swish of her wand, McGonagall un-enchanted the parchment balls. "Mr. Potter!" She cried as she rushed over to the front of the room. James Potter was grinning, seemingly unfazed by his Professor's fiery glare.
Lily's eyes narrowed. How was he so happy? Professor McGonagall would not let him off easy this time, after that obvious show of cruelty. Lily was stunned when James caught her eye and winked. Winked. What did he mean by that? How had he been so careless as to blatantly interrupt in the middle of the lesson? Lily's brow furrowed in confusion as James broke his gaze and turned his direction to the young professor before him.
"Mr. Potter!" Professor McGonagall repeated again, still seething. "As you seem so keen to ignore me as I talk, why don't you perform the incantation." She paused, her eyes narrowing as she also placed down a cup in front of him. "With your wand."
James said nothing, only quirking up his lips in response. He pulled out his slender wooden wand. "Friltium Rentriola." He said breezily, his voice loud and clear. He waved his wand, flicking it at the end of the incantation.
Lily wasn't the only one surprised when he actually turned the simple cup into a woolen red hat.
A smattering of applause ensued, mostly by the young ladies of the class (Lily excluded, of course). Many of the Slytherin girls, too, didn't clap. Narcissa Black, especially, just glared at James as she stood next to the desk, occasionally distrustfully eying the various paper balls littering the ground around her.
"Enough." Professor McGonagall ended the claps with one word, silencing the classroom. She stared down at James. "Very good, Mr. Potter." She seemed pleased that he had actually succeeded, but she did not smile. Then her eyes narrowed, and James's proud grin diminished slightly. "However, you did blatantly disrupt my class in the middle of a lesson, and that is inexcusable." She raised her head high. "Detention tonight, Mr. Potter."
Before she could walk away, though, James smoothly said, "Well I would accept my punishment any other day"- Lily could've sworn she saw Professor McGonagall roll her eyes - "but Quidditch practice, Professor. We have the finals coming up."
Professor McGonagall paused. Lily wondered if the House head of Gryffindor would actually let James get away with it. Would her favorite Quidditch star seriously get out of this predicament too?
"Then tomorrow, Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall told him coolly before walking up to the classroom. Lily glared at the back of James's head. She really was too lenient on him, sometimes.
Then, Lily realized Professor McGonagall was looking at her. The young witch had an unreadable expression in her eyes, and Lily braced herself. Would she get detention too? Or an extra punishment essay?
Lily was both relieved and confused when Professor McGonagall simply raised an eyebrow in her direction (as if a warning) and turned away, concluding her lecture.
Once class was over, Lily packed up her bag. Severus said good-bye to her quickly, then followed his Slytherin friends to another class.
She was looking down, packing up her last few books and beginning to dread her essay when a shadow crossed her desk. She looked up.
James stared down at her, a lopsided grin on his face. "Hey, Evans." He greeted.
Lily huffed. "What do you want, Potter?"
James held up his hands in surrender. "Whoa, I was just saying hello." He frowned at her. "Are you alright? I noticed you were sorta distracted today."
Lily rolled her eyes. "It's really none of your business." She slung her bag over her shoulder.
"Well, I was wondering something," James said awkwardly. Lily paused. When was James Potter ever awkward? "Would you like to come with me and the guys to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
Lily frowned. "You and the guys? That doesn't count as a date, Potter."
"I know," James said earnestly. "But it'll be fun."
She shook her head. "And I thought you'd finally given up."
James's face fell. "It's been weeks since I last asked you out, Lily." He said defensively. Lily was shocked when he called her by her first name. "Or even talked to you," He added.
"Well, it looks like you've broken that streak," Lily responded coldly.
James sighed, running a hand through his unruly black hair. If that was one of his ways to weaken Lily it definitely wasn't working. At all. "Aw, c'mon, Evans," He pleaded. "It'll be fun," he repeated. "And I swear that Padfo- I mean Sirius will be on his best behavior and Peter is already scared of you and you know Remus already, so please," he widened his eyes. "I mean, after I saved you, it's the least you could do."
Lily bristled. "Saved me?" She said with disbelief. "In case you haven't noticed, Potter, you have a detention tomorrow and I don't."
"My distraction saved you from McGonagall," James told her, acting a little insulted.
Lily huffed. As if it wasn't enough that James Potter was asking her out again - when she should be getting back to the dormitories to work on that essay - , now he was acting as if he was so great, saving her (not that he did save her). But it seemed as if Lily was at a lost for words, and couldn't think of a good excuse. "Look, I really have to go. And no, I'm still not going to Hogsmeade with you. I don't think I'll be going to Hogsmeade, anyway. I have that essay..." Lily shook her head as the trailed off. Why was she telling him this? It wasn't like he cared.
James brightened. Lily cocked her head at him. "I can help you with that," James said with wide, bright eyes.
Lily crossed her arms. It seemed he just wouldn't give up. "Are you serious?" She asked doubtfully. She shook her head again. "No, thank you."
James's smile vanished. "I… Are you sure?"
Lily hesitated at his sad, wide eyes, but then she nodded. "Yes." She paused. "Thank you anyway," she added hastily. Well, it wasn't like he was the rudest today. He'd actually been quite… nice, if a little pushy.
James grinned at her, as if her gratitude was big accomplishment, and Lily blushed.
"Er, anyway, I've really got to get going. The essay, and everything," Lily hitched up her bag higher on her shoulder.
James nodded absentmindedly. He wasn't looking at her. "Right, of course."
"Bye." Lily left quickly, but not before glancing back to see Remus, Sirius, and Peter rush up to James with excited faces and winks.
James smiled and laughed, and Lily couldn't help but smile just a little bit.
Perhaps James Potter wasn't that bad. Of course, he was still boastful and proud, and cocky and ignorant, but Lily had to admit that he did care about some things. He was decent in classes, and everyone could see he cared a whole lot about his friends. And even if he did ask Lily out, well, at least he'd gotten better at it. If he keeps getting better, Lily mused, Maybe I'll even say yes someday.
Lily nearly tripped over her own shoes. Had she seriously just thought that. She shook her head slightly at herself. Of course James had grown up the past year, but she could never date him. He just… Lily didn't think it would work out.
Lily blushed. Now she was pondering dating James Potter. What was happening with her today?
Once in the commons room, though, Lily couldn't help but watch James again. One of the younger students, probably a third year, had gotten a scrape someway or another, and James was helping the young boy. Lily's heart melted a little bit - not that she would ever admit it. James would crack jokes to make the third year laugh and smile, and eventually all of the Gryffindor third years were surrounding him, cracking up at his stupid, corny jokes that made Lily shake her head but smile nonetheless.
Maybe James Potter wasn't so bad. Maybe he was actually kind and brave and loyal and fair and just and…
Maybe James Potter could be her friend.
Lily peered at him over her book.
Maybe.
James looked over at her, winked, and smiled crookedly at her. He looked satisfied at catching her looking at him. Liy ducked back behind her book, blushing beet red with embarrassment and anger.
But then again, maybe not.
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