A/N: I'm going to make gag fic of Kingdom Hearts.. FUUU~ I want to watch the "Boy Pick-up Movie" here in the PH. Demn! I haz no money for it. TT^TT ...anyways... This fic all about pick-ups that was really trending here in the PH. I don't know what pop into my head. I just wanted to make this right now.. :DD
The Kingdom Hearts Pick-up Battle
Twilight Town's Struggle Plaza:
Axel: Ayt!Ayt! Hold up everyone...This day, well gonna be doing another pick-up battle.
Who will be the one to battle our undefeating champion, "Sora Back-up!"
So...are you ready to hear our pick-up battle?
All: Yeahh! (screaming)
Axel: Alright! Let's the games begin!
But before that, let me introduce to you our 2 groups who will battle out their skills. On my right side, these people are merciless and don't have hearts but they kick asses like hell. Also don't forget the only two handsome in the group.
Give them a round of applause to the Nobodies!
(enter the Organization XII members)
This team are compose of the leader, Xemnas, Xaldin, Xigbar and the fangirls are waiting for, my bestfriend, Roxas!
All girls: (squealing) Kyaaahh! Roxas! Roxas!
Axel: And on the left side, these are hot chicks that has some connection to our Sora Pick-up. Ladies and Gentlemen give it up for the Destined!
(enter Kairi, Namine, Aqua and Xion)
All boys: Aqua! We love you!
Axel: This team consists of Kairi, Namine, Xion and their super sexy leader, Aqua!
Oh hey, I didn't realize that it's a Female vs. Male fight
Okay... Let's this baby started!
Everyone quiet!
(everyone became silent)
Axel: Alright, who's going first?
(Namine raises her hand)
Axel: Nice one. Namine from Team Destined and his opponent would be... (Xigbar steps forward)
Is none other than, Xigbar from the Nobodies!
Xigbar: Huh! As if that I would lose to a woman
Namine: You better say your prayers
Axel: Okay... ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!
(executing the RPS game, Namine is rock and Xigbar is paper)
Namine: Aww...
Kairi: Don't worry, Namine. It's okay
Xion: We can definitely win this round
Kairi: Kick his dirty ass Namine!
Namine: I will. Thanks guys (thumbs up)
Axel: Wait...wait... before this, we can't start if we musn't forget our Smexy guy, Riku W.! (enter Riku)
All girls: Riku! We love you so much! (Riku winks)
Kyaaaah! (faint)
Axel: Old school rules, yo. You guys will be given 2 rounds of pick-up battle
The group with the highest scores wins.
Xigbar: As if...
Axel: Team Nobodies, are you ready?
Xigbar: Ready as pie!
Axel: Go!
Xigbar: Riku, did you know that you're a straw?
Riku: Why?
Xigbar: You're friendship is plastic...
Not really true...
All: Boo!
Riku: Nice one... (claps)
Tifa: Pffft! Oh please...
Axel: So plastic huh? Well...can't argue with that.
What would Namine do for her counter-attack?
Namine are you ready?
Namine: As I'll ever be...
Axel: Go!
Namine: (sigh)
Excuse me, may I ask for the time?
Riku: Sorry. I don't have a watch
Namine: Huh! Aren't you a two-timer?
Riku: (pissed) Okay...
Namine: Beat that!
Xigbar: ...
Nobodies: Beat that crap out of him!
Xemnas: Do not lose to a woman...
Xigbar: As if!
Axel: Amazing comeback for Namine
I was impressed about that
You sure are trained for a counter
Kairi: Good job, Namine
Aqua: Keep it up, Namine
Xion: Way to go!
Namine: Thanks guys...
Axel: Were on Round 2 for Namine vs. Xigbar
Xigbar, what would be your next move?
Xigbar: Smash her to pieces!
Xaldin: Go! Xigbar!
Axel: Go!
Xigbar: Do you want to break a glass?
Riku: No. Why?
Xigbar: Cause you break every girl's heart
Hah!
Alll: Woo! Nice! Awesome!
Riku: I'm not a heartbreaker...
Axel: Aww...what a breakdown...Let's see what Namine is up on her sleeves.
Are you ready? (Namine nods) Go!
Namine: I'm glad that the keyboard was invented.
Riku: Why?
Namine: Cause he'd put "U" an "I" away from your "X"
Boom!
All: Waaahh! I love you Namine!
Xion: That's it Namine!
Show em who's boss!
Aqua: Smart move (winks)
Xigbar: Arggghh... she's good.
Xaldin: Seems like they're trained very good.
Xemnas: Do not fret, we have Roxas
Roxas: Don't worry guys. I'm on it...
Axel: For our first round, it's already getting hyped. Let's see who won.
Riku?
Riku: I'd give credit to Namine.
Destined: Yatta! (happy/jumping of joy)
Axel: Destined-1 and N-0
Who's next?
Kairi: I will...
Axel: Our next contender is Kairi and his opponent ... (steps forward Xemnas)
Uh oh...the Nobody leader is on the stage.
Xemnas: I hope you won't cry when I defeat you...
Kairi: Get real!
You're the one who's going to cry...
Axel: Since the girls won,
Xemnas, you're going first
Ready? Go!
Xemnas: Are you an exam?
Riku: Why?
Xemnas: I saw you cheating on girls. (smirk)
Riku: Insane move...
Kairi: Ahh... (steps back)
Namine: Don't be scared, you can do this!
Xion: Fight Kairi!
Aqua: Focus Kairi!
Don't let him distract you...
Axel: An awesome comeback...
Kairi? Are you ready?
Kairi: Yeah...
Axel: Go!
Kairi: Do you love the night?
Riku: No. Why?
Kairi: Cause you're a monster that plays with girls at night.
Riku: ...
All: Boo... Weak!
Kairi: Sorry... I can't think of a counter.
Aqua: Don't lose hope. We can do these...
Xemnas: You see...
Kairi: (pissed)
Xigbar: Way to go boss!
Axel: This battle is getting fired up.
Can Kairi win against a leader?
Kairi: I won't give up,
Give me your best shot
Xemnas: With pleasure...
Axel: Round 2!
Xemnas, you ready?
Go!
Xemnas: Do you like Math?
Riku: No. Why?
XemnasL You're irritating to see
Riku: (pissed again)
Kairi: Mmmm... ( looks at Xemnas)
Xemnas: Afraid to lose?
Kairi: I can take you on!
Axel: Wooo! Irritating to know what each members are going to do.
So Kairi's turn. Go!
Kairi: Riku... I don't want to loose you...
Riku: (blushed) W-why?
Kairi: Because... Xemnas has a crush on you... (points Xemnas)
Xemnas: Pathetic! (denying)
Do not listen to her!
Riku: Why you... (angry)
Axel: Hey-hey-hey-hey! Riku don't be bashful...
You know you know you're the main attraction here.
Next to Sora that is...
Riku: (stops)
Fine... Sorry for the trouble...
Axel: Which reminds me, who won this round?
Riku: That... (raises his hand pointing the Nobody Team)
Xigbar: All right!
Way to go boss!
Xemnas: Hmph...hypocrite princess
Kairi: Ahhh.. (knee becoming weaker) (stood up and get back on the team)
I'm sorry guys.. (sad)
Xion: That's okay, Kairi
We know you did your best
Namine: Yeah.. Xion's right.
Her and leader would do the rest.
Aqua: You did your best Kairi (pat her)
Come on, get some rest ...
Kairi: Thanks and sorry leader
Aqua: We'll take care of the rest... (Kairi heads to the clinic)
All: Nobodies! Nobodies!
Axel: Alright! So it's a 1 all for the two teams.
Wonder what's going to happen to our next round. Since you've won. You go first
Choose your next competitor
Xaldin: I'm on it... (steps forward)
Axel: Okay... so Xaldin from the Nobodies and the other one?
Xion: Leader, let me take this! (hyped up)
Aqua: No, Xion. I'll be the his opponent..
Axel: Uh-oh! Destined Team's leader will be your opponent. Be careful, you don't know what you're up against...
Xaldin: I am not afraid of such immature woman like you...
Aqua: (shotd) Immature?
Axel: Wooops... Look what you've done!
Aiya! I better move quickly
Xaldin: (feels a sudden chills) (saw Aqua's demonic aura covering her body)
Namine: What have you done!
Xion: You've just said the forbidden word...
Leader Aqua!
Oh whatever...
Namine/Xion: Kick his ass out leader!
Show 'em who's boss!
Aqua: You've got some nerve calling me immature...
Be prepared. You've just met your way to the underworld... (angry)
Riku: Oh no... (hides/run away)
Xaldin: What...have I ...done?
Xigbar: Such intense power...
Xemnas: Oh crap...this is what I was afraid of...
Xaldin: I want to live...
Have mercy on me,,.. Aqua...
No!
Aqua: Hiyyyyaaaa! (light ball strikes Xaldin)
Xaldin: Aaaaahhh! (flew on the air)
Axel: We-well... Xaldin has disappeared so it means the winner would be Aqua from the Destined
So now.. Destined is leading!
Xion: You did it Master Aqua!
Namine: Yatta! Only 1 more and we'll win...
Aqua: Thank you guys... ( revert to a sweet woman/smiles)
Namine/Xion: (scared) Ahh... hahaha... great job, hahahaha (sweat drop)
Axel: So...uh...we should continue to our last round...
And our last contender would be Xion from the Destinec (steps Xion) and my bestfriend..Roxas from the Nobodies!
Who's going first?
Roxas: (chewing) (blowing a gum/pop)
Axel: Okay... he said that you should go first, Xion
Xion: Hmph...you better say sorry for letting me go first
Roxas: (chewing) (blowing/pop the gum)
Whatever...I can definitely win.
Axel: Xion! You ready?
Xion: huh? Y-yeah...
Axel: Go!
Xion: Are you a doll?
Riku: Why?
Xxion: You're so easy to replace with
All: Woo! (clapping their hands)
Awesome!
Xion: Hahaha... (winks)
Can you beat that?
Roxas: No problem... (throw the gum and being serious)
Axel: Hahaha...
Wow!
Roxas my friend. Are you ready?
Roxas: Always...
Axel: Go!
Roxas: Riku...
You know you're like a drum
Riku: Why?
Roxas: Caus I want to BEAT you up..
Xigbar: Good work, Roxas (claps)
Xigbar: Nice one...
Good work, Roxas
Roxas: I told ya...
Namine: Master Aqua... (worried)
Aqua: He's the ace that Xemnas trained. I'm surprised that he's super strong... (studying Roxas)
Namine: We might lose, Master Aqua
Aqua: Indeed... But ... let's just enjoy of it.
Namine: Ooooh... okay...
Xion! Give it your best shot!
Xion: I know... I can't win against this guy (happy)
Axel: Woah... you're already accepting defeat?
Xion: Our team's goal is to enjoy the battle..
Roxas: Heh... You won't regret it (smile)
All: Awww... (cheesy)
Axel: Such an awesome team. But we can't determine if we don't have a winner
Round 2 begin!
Xion, are you ready?
Xion: Ready!
Axel: Go!
Xion: I wish you're a car.
Riku: Why?
Xion: I always get an injury for loving you
Bleeeh!
Riku: O...kay...
Axel: Hell ya! Okay Roxas this is the last one
You ready?
Roxas: Yeah...
Axel: Go!
Roxas: I want to die right now.,..
Riku: Why?
Roxas: I don't want to see your face ANYMORE!
All: (screaming) Kyaaaahh! Roxas we love you!
Axel: Okay! I guess we all know who the winner is...
All: Nobodies!
Roxas: Hmph... (smirk)
Axel: You got it! Roxas! This means the Nobodies are going to the final round!
They will also have a chance to battle our undefeated, Sora Pick-up! (enter Sora)
All: Sora! Sora! Sora!
Sora: Yow...
Axel: How ya doing, Sora?
Sora: I'm cool but you're hot...
Axel: Ahahahha... now that's our Sora Pick-up
Oooh...almost forgot...
Team Nobody... Who's going to fight Sora?
Roxas: I am... Thats why I came and win this battle.
Axel: Okay... Let the final round begin!
Here..you can only use love quotes to Riku. So are you ready?
Roxas: I have lots of them..
Axel: Well said.. So Sora.. who do you want to go first?
Sora: Him.. caus he's so cute... (Winks)
Roxas: (blushed) Q-quit it!
Sora: Oh...why not? (kawaii face)
Roxas: SHOTD (so much cuteness)
Rik: Will you guys start now? (irritated at Roxas)
Roxas: O-okay...
Axel: Ready? Go!
Roxas: When I was a kid, I've lost my key but now I've found it.
Riku: Why?
Roxas: You already unlocked my heart...
All: Ayieeeee... Roxas! (screaming)
Axel: That was the bomb!
Sora are you ready?
Sora: Yeah...
Axel: Go!
Sora: Are you a cliff?
Riku: Why?
Sora: Cause I've fallen for you...
Riku: (smiles)
All: Sora! Sora! Sora!
Axel: Wooo! An amazing fight!
But we still have Round 2!
Roxas: Tsk! You're good
Sora: I'm not but you're amazing to watch
Roxas: (blushed) Stop that! (pissed off)
Sora: What?
I'm not doing anything?
Axel: Roxas are you ready?
Roxas: Start! (angry)
Axel: (scared) G-go!
Roxas: My favourite subject is Chemistry
Riku: Why?
Roxas: I can't formulate a data to stop loving you..
All: (squealing) Roxas! (screaming fangirls)
Axel: Woooo... I better get a Chemistry class too. HAHAHAHA
Are you ready Sora?
Sora: Yesh! (raises his hand)
Axel: Go!
Sora: How I wish I could be be Juliet.
Riku: Why?
Sora: So that "You an I" are together forever
All: Kyaaah! Sora! (squeal)
Roxas: Ugh... (defeated)
I lost...
Axel: And the winner and still the undefeated...
Sora Pick-up!
Sora: Yeah! (thumbs up)
Ooohh.. (saw Roxas)
Are you alright?
Roxas: Yeah... (happy)
I'm glad that I could fight you..
Sora: No problem and thanks (kiss Roxas on the lips)
Riku: (saw the kiss/angry went towards them)
Stop kissing him Sora! (death glare)
Sora: Aww...Riku...it's only a congratulation kiss
Roxas: (shocked/blushing)
Sora: That was a nice battle..see ya... (turn around and leave)
Roxas: Huh... (touch his lips)
! (extreme blush)
Riku: What have you done to the guy (walking)
Sora: Sorry... he's just so cute... (smiles while walking)
Riku: You know you're mine Sora..
Sora: I know... (hugs Riku)
And you're mine also...
Hihihihi (smiles)
Riku: (smirked)
Yeah...I know...
Axel: Well.. That's the end of our battle. Hope will see each other next time. I'm your host by the way. Axel. The hottest guy here in Twilight Town.. Hahaha!
Just kidding... Adios!
-The End-