The Black Rose
The rain,its cold..and as the skies turn grey I look up to wonder is there really a god? Cause if there is why am I here? Why am I standing next to a grave of a loved one? What does this all mean?..why am I alone again.
Chapter 1: And there she was
Sitting on a bench on a rainy has always been calming to me "youll get sick" they say "Youll soak your clothes" they say. But to me theres something about sitting in the rain that reminds me how this world is, how ugly but at the same time beautiful this world can be, how cold I could feel on the outside but how warm I could feel on the inside. I felt as if it all meant something, as if this was all apart of a huge plan for myself but at that stage I said to myself fuck that plan. Around 3 in the morning I was in front of a Marine Recruiting center in my shitty corola with custom tainted windows gulping down liquor and smoking pot, I drank to forget I hoped with each gulp with each pull I would be closer to death, but I couldnt wait for that I couldnt wait that long for this to kill me. My plan was to join the marines, I would join and hopefully in there something or someone would kill me..it just has to.
I wake up to the hot hell hole known as my car and realized I didnt put the ac on which I wouldnt have anyway cause my car battery is shit and last thing I need is to be stranded in front of a marine corps office. I turn it on and all I can think about is "walk in there sign up and get out" I say this to myself about 5 times before I attempt to open my car door, right before I reach it I stop. If I go out there ima have to commit if I go out there nothing can stop me, so I pull out another bottle and gulp a few more over this hangover and march outside. As im pacing towards the door in the beaming sun my head clouded with thoughts, all I want is to die cause maybe then I can rest maybe then I could leave this world behind and go back to her cause maybe just maybe there is another side and she is there waiting for me.
The closer to that door I get the slower things move the faster my heart races to the point its all I could hear. Things get so fogged in my head that all I could hear myself say is "end this, end your misery" and right before I reach the door, as soon as I stretch my hand out with the world behind me as if the world stopped something else happened, another hand intercepts my line of vision, someone stopped me. Before I knew it I was being taken somewhere by the hand like some 5 year old, I get put into a car. Intoxicated I still am not sure if this is even really happening, everything is a blur all I could think about is a headache all I could see is red hair covering her face and before I could see it I pass out. I wake up in a meadow, looking up at the sky again I couldnt help but to shed a tear and I hear a voice "so your awake" I slowly sit up and see that its this very attractive girl with red hair sitting next to me. Her beauty was a lot to take in but at the time I put it passed me as much as Ive always wanted a ginger or a close to one inside I felt numb, I check my watch even though chances are I have nothing to do and I ask "who are you?" an akward silence happens for a few seconds and she replies "does it matter?" I lay back down and start staring at the sky again, after another akward silence she speaks "who was she" she says "who was who?" I reply pretending to no know who shes talking about. She smirks and starts eating a sandwhich and lays down next to me and starts staring at the sky.
"your hurt" she says I start looking for wounds or scratches and I reply "no im not: she sits up and tells me to sit up which I do, "take off your shirt" she tells me me feeling weird thought is this really the time to be getting laid? But I do what she asks anyway. She puts a palm on my chest right above my heart and tells me "wounds dont always have to be on the outside" I immediately get up as in pissed or offended and I tell her "what do you want from me? Who are you? What the hell am I doing here?" she looks up at me and she tells me " im here cause something told me to be" staring right into my eyes I see that she believes in everything she is telling me. "i woke up one morning and my mother died" she says with a voice of sorrow "i was lost, I was destroyed and I just wanted to feel, I did things I wasnt proud of I almost did things I wouldnt be able to come back from. When I saw you pacing towards that door you had the same eyes I did, you had the eyes of a person that lost everything and I couldnt live with it, I couldnt live seeing another person throw it all away like I did" she says looking down to the hole time. "well thanks but I didnt need your help" I said as I picked up my shirt and prepared to walk away from this beautiful stranger, she gets up and she yells "you sit in the rain cause sometimes you feel like the world makes sense" I stop and my eyes just quickly find the floor reflecting on that feeling "how did you know?, you dont know me! You dont know what I go through" and she replies "i dont need to, I just dont want you to go numb I dont want you to let pain mold you into a person your not I just-" I immediately turn around march towards her and grab her waist and dive in for a kiss, we start making out and before we know it we are tearing each others clothes off, we have angry sex in that huge field with nothing but nature surrounding us and as the sun set all that could be heard is the moans as if she was releasing all ive built inside me as if I was putting it into her so she could throw it out. I wake up the next morning next to her with so many questions who is this red head? Why me? Why now?