Snake in the Grass
Slander is prosecutable you know. Unfortunately, I have had a hard time finding a lawyer willing to sue God. And it all started off with that jerk Adam. Yes, I know everyone says Eve started the whole mess, but then again, as I've said, the whole version is slightly slanted.
In the beginning, God created man, Adam to be exact. And like the responsible male adult Adam was, the first thing he did was throw a hissy fit. Seems he was lonely. All right, maybe not a hissy fit, but who says I have to be the only person to tell the truth, the whole truth and NOTHING but the truth? Anyways, at first God didn't realize his mistake. By granting this one request, God set himself up for an eternity of demands. Sucker. I have to admit; I find a certain unholy pleasure in this. God wasn't really into the whole mothering thing, if you know what I mean. So he took the easy way out. He rewarded Adam.
Now if it had been me, I would have had the spoiled brat across my knee in an instant. Although, as it turned out, maybe God didn't ex-act-ly reward him. I digress however. The subject of that man's stupidity is one I could peruse for quite awhile. Back to the apple.
Thank God for Eve though (no pun intended). Even though it did turn out badly, casting women & snakes into centuries of oppression and degradation, Eve was the only thing I ever knew of that could control that man. They would have gotten thrown out of Eden way before the whole apple incident if it weren't for her.
Everyone believes that they know the story of Adam and Eve. I temped Eve, Eve temped Adam, God found out, and then kicked them out of the Garden of Eden. Oh, and did I mention? I'm the bad guy. Or in reality, girl. Guys are so egotistical they assume that all famous, history-changing people are male. They also only ever have one thing on their minds. Which, I have to admit, was what I was thinking too. And THAT, my friends, was the downfall. I fell in love with her. It was simple love that doomed the world.
Now I know, obviously, a cross-species relationship would have had a hard time working out, don't get me wrong, but who wouldn't have loved her? Her way of dancing in the moonlight, her laughter, her thirst for knowledge, her wide-eyed innocence? Eve was as innocent as the newborn babe. Which is where the Tree of Knowledge came in.
I don't think she realized that my love for her was different that of Adam, God or any of the other animals. And I so desperately wanted her to know. I would watch her sleeping from the tree- the Tree of Knowledge- the tree that would solve all my problems.
OK, everyone, this is just the first chapter, so review it for me please!