The sad result of me sitting in front of a computer at 1 a.m. Hope you all like it, or are at least amused.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Dark Angel. Sigh.

Max and the Lemony Scent

Max Guevara had accepted that she had an assortment of evil twins who'd each attempted to kill her. She had accepted that one of her best friends was technically also man's best friend. And yes, she'd even accepted that sneezing on her boyfriend would probably kill him.

But this…this was weird.

Naturally, the weirdness began with Alec.

Max had been relaxing in a bubble bath, exhausted from a long day of package deliveries, when there was a loud knock at the front door of her apartment.

"Max? You home?" came the shout from Alec, who had burst into the apartment without waiting for anyone to answer the door. "I've got a message from Logan."

"You know, there's not much point in knocking if you're just going to bust in anyway," Max shouted at him as she grabbed a bathrobe and headed out to the living room.

"There's not much point in having a door if you're not going to lock it," Alec replied smugly as he plopped down on the Max's couch.

"Hasn't Logan ever heard of a telephone? Or have you just started a telegram service?"

"No, though not a bad idea," Alec said. "Actually, Logan's in a bit of a pickle at the moment. That's why I came to get you—

Alec stopped talking. Suddenly he looked very dizzy and glassy, like he'd just spent an hour sniffing Sharpies.

"Max, you smell like lemon Pledge," Alec mumbled droopily, his head beginning to roll to one side. He looked like he was going to pass out.

"Alec, what is wrong with you? I thought you had a message from Logan," Max questioned him.

Alec teetered to one side and almost fell off the couch. "I did. I can't remember," he garbled as he sniffed at the air. "What is that smell? Lemons, definitely lemons. I've smelled that before."

Max stared at him in disbelief.

"You know, Max," Alec slurred on, "I could do more for you than Logan ever could. Because we," he gazed at her groggily, "understand each other. We're like two peas in a genetically enhanced pod. I'm just saying…"

Max gawked at him, trying to decide whether to slap him or get him immediate medical attention. What the hell was going on?

"Hey, Alec," Max said firmly, "don't go all psy-ops on me now."

Alec suddenly jerked to attention, and Max, remembering Ben, thought she had offended him with the psy-ops comment. But Alec just turned to her and replied groggily, "Psy-ops. Yes, that's where I smelled this before. Max, back off for a sec, will ya?"

Worried, Max stepped away from the other X-5. Alec shook his head and coughed a couple of times. Max was relieved to see him looking cognizant again.

"Alec!?"

"Hold on, give me a minute."

"What is wrong with you?"

"It's not me. It's you," Alec looked up at her before continuing. "At psy-ops, there were these transgenics who could release this really intoxicating, powerful scent. It's like lemon Pledge. It makes anyone within ten feet go totally AWOL, say things they'd rather keep to themselves." He stared at her guiltily.

"What are you saying?"

"Congratulations, Max. You have yourself a new talent. And it smells like lemons."

"You're pulling my leg. Alec, I don't smell anything," Max said defensively.

"Of course you don't. You can't smell your own stench. Trust me, Max, you're a lemonhead. And a strong one, too."

"What? No!" Max clutched her head in her hands in exasperation. "How did this happen!?"

Alec laughed. "It's all in the genes, grasshopper. Why are you so upset? You can power on the lemony scent whenever you want to get info from anyone. This is a good thing."

"Anything that brings me closer to Manticore is not a good thing."

Max slouched down on the couch next to Alec, confused and upset. As if her life wasn't weird enough, now she smelled like a lemony cleaning product.

"How do I control it?" Max asked sadly.

"I dunno. Just keep your mind off lemons, I guess, and you won't smell like 'em. Shouldn't be a problem."

Max sighed. Another thing to think about. Or, in this case, not think about.

"Oh, come on, Max. Open your mind to the possibilities here. You can play with Normal's mind, you can screw with Logan—

"Logan!" Max screamed and jumped up as she suddenly remembered why Alex was in her apartment.

"Oh yeah, Logan."

"What's up with him? You said he was in trouble."

"Well, he is," Alec began. "He got caught up in the middle of a bank robbery. I think he's a hostage."

Max's eyes widened at she glared at the other X-5. "He's a hostage!? And you just brought this to my attention."

"Hey, I came in here bringing this to your attention. You're the one who sidetracked me with your lemony scent. Flip on the television."

Max turned on the news and was horrified to see live footage of an ongoing bank robbery…cops, helicopters, ambulances—the whole deal.

"Logan's in there?"

"He always does manage to find trouble, doesn't he?" Alec said jokingly, but stopped smiling at the look that Max shot him. "Relax, Max. It's just a bunch of ordinaries. We can take 'em no problem."

The newscaster on the television screen continued speaking, "As we desperately wait on the robbers' next move, authorities are beginning to suspect that the culprits behind this scheme are a group of ten or twelve transgenics. Things are looking grim for the hostages trapped inside…."

Max grabbed her keys and began heading for the door. She had to rescue Logan.

"Wait, Max! Where are you going?" Alec questioned as he leapt to his feet.

"To get Logan! Where do you think I'm going?"

"No, don't. I'll go," Alec began hesitantly. "You stay here."
"What are you talking about, Alec?"

"Max…ten or twelve transgenics…I don't want you to get hurt," Alec murmured, seeming embarrassed. "I'll go."

Max's first impulse was to scream at him. Like a few transgenic lugs were going to intimidate her? Who did he think he was? But she decided not to yell. She met his gaze and looked at him eyes, trying to decide if he was being serious. He looked sincere.

"Alec, that's…sweet. But I can handle myself."

"I'm not letting you leave here, Max."

He strode over to the front door of the apartment and stood in front of it, his stance just asking her to try to get past him.

"You gonna fight me, Alec?"

"If it comes down to that."

Max walked up to him and stood with her face six inches away from his, challenging him.

It was unclear who threw the first punch, but in a moment the two transgenics were exchanging lightning-fast blows in a match that reminded Max all too much of her lethal fight with Ben. Alec's shoe met with the back of Max's knee, and she found herself toppling to the floor and being pinned by the other X-5.

"Alec, knock it off!!"

"No, Max, there are transgenics involved. The cops are gonna blaze the whole place just to get rid of the freaks. If you go in there, you're not coming out."

Max strained against Alec's weight, but she was pinned. Even her super-human strength could not free her.

Then Max did something that she had never thought of doing in the face of opposition—she thought very hard of lemons.

In a few moments, Alec lay practically unconscious on the floor of Max's apartment, dazed into a lemony stupor. Max got up and brushed herself off. She cast a backwards glance at the disabled Alec as she walked out the apartment door, off to rescue Logan. She had some new things to think about.

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