It was crazy. Crazy and stupid and all things wrong conbined. But I did it. And, strangely, I don't regret it.
Now you, dear reader, are probably thinking, 'Wait, back it up. Who are you and what are you talking about?', am I right? Well then, allow me to answer these questions of yours.
My name is Roranoa Zoro. What I'm talking about... well, perhaps I should start from the begining with that...
It was a sunny, almost puke-worthy happy day on the Going Merry. I was sleeping, or trying to sleep, under the main mast. This was proving rather difficult condidering that- wait a minute, wait a minute... What's with the sophisticated crap? Who's writing this shit!
Sanji grinned sheepishly up at Zoro from the keyboard. "Be more specific, then."
Zoro huffed and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared down at the love-cook. "More specific?"
"Yes. All you said was, 'I kissed Luffy'. If that's it we might as well call the morgue right now and tell them to build some pine-wood boxes for millions of Zoro/Luffy fans across the world." Sanji laughed.
Zoro's eye twitched. "I was getting straight to the point!"
"And I was just improvising."
"Whatever."
"But anyway, there are far more Zoro/Sanji fans out there then Zoro/Luffy anyway. That's probably the only reason these people are reading this patiently." Sanji lit a cigerette as he explained this, taking a long drag from his cancer-stick and blowing the smoke at Zoro who coughed immidiatly.
"More Zoro/Sanji fans? You mean more people like reading about you and me doing eachother then me and Luffy?" Zoro asked, blinking in confusion slightly.
"What? Am I speaking French? That's what I just said." Sanji scoffed, glaring at the samurai.
Zoro glared back. "I don't like that idea." He muttered.
"What? You and I getting it on? Me either." Sanji admited with a shrug. "I'd much rather be with Luffy."
"Yeah... Me too..."
Sanji raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you were straight?"
"I'm bisextual, okay?" Zoro demanded, glaring.
Sanji shrugged. "I could care less about your sextual preferance." He admited boredly as he began typing again.
'My black-haired rose-bud exited his cabin with his cat-like grace that sunny afternoon. He was breathtaking, as always, but walked right past me. Ever blind, ever oblivious to the-'
"What is that shit!" Zoro demanded, glaring.
Sanji sighed impatiently. "It's a fanfic."
"Why are we writing one? Aren't we supposed to be reading them?"
"What! Who said-? Never mind. I won't ask."
Zoro glared and watched as Sanji wrote more to their fic. Eventually it got to a sex scene between he and Luffy and he was practically drooling on the blond's shoulder. Or at least, he THOUGHT he was practically drooling on the blond's shoulder until Sanji cried out and yelled at him for getting drool on his jacket. Then he WAS drooling on the blond's shoulder.
"So what are you going to do with that story?" Zoro asked as he watched Sanji sum up the sex scene.
"Hmm... Delete it."
"WHAT!"
Sanji jumped at Zoro's outburst and blinked at him. "W-what the hell was that about?"
"How can you just delete such a story!" Zoro demanded, outraged at Sanji's cold-heartedness.
"I was kidding, numbskull! Geez, you thought I was going to let you drool on my shoulder for nothing? Honestly!" Sanji went back to writing and listened as Zoro heaved what sounded like a sigh of relief.
"Well... Not that I like it or anything... I just... You know... Figured since you worked so hard on it..."
"Save it." Sanji cut him off. "I know you want to keep it."
"Well..."
"Well nothing. Fine. I'll post it on but only because you REALLY want me to." Sanji finished the first chapter then added an author note begging for reviews before saving the story and logging onto the fan fiction website.
"Wait a minute... You mean you're actually going to post it? Where people can read it and stuff?"
"Yup."
"And you get reviews from readers?"
"Yup."
"And you have to make a rating and summery and everything?"
"Yup."
Zoro stared for a moment. "But... You aren't allowed to post anything over R on there. And that story is NC-17, man."
"I know." Sanji replied, coolly.
"Then why are you still posting it?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because I'm too lazy to get an account on AdultFanFiction"
Zoro's eyes bugged out of his head. "There's an ADULT FanFiction?"
"Yeah. Why? You didn't want to look at fics on there, did you?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Really sure?"
"YES."
"I mean really really real-"
"YES! Geez, damn love-cook!"
Sanji snickered and logged onto his account on FanFiction; NamiLover1352. Zoro snorted at the name but didn't say anything as Sanji went through the process of posting his story.
"Now what?" Zoro asked when he was finished.
"What do you mean now what?"
"What do we do, I mean." Zoro repeated, irritated.
"Oh... Well, we wait." Sanji shrugged.
Zoro sighed and shook his head. "In that case, I'm going. Later."
"Suit yourself. I was planning on reading a few fanfictions before I went to bed."
Zoro was back like a shot. "What kind of fanfictions...?"
A/N: This took me a half hour to write, it's 3:26 AM, and I'm too lazy to spell-check. This story has no point. I don't own One Piece. Luffy is sexy. We all knew Zoro was gay. Good night.