AN/ Yes I'm aware that this song is from High School musical and yes I do loath those movies with a passion but when I was searching Mello videos on Youtube I found a tribute with this song and it just fit with Mello so well so… Give it a chance and don't hate me for giving this a shot PS: Even though this song fic is mostly about Mello there is still a lot about MelloxMatt (Yum)
Everybody's always talking at me
Everybody's trying to get in my head
"I'm afraid L is dead."
Those words shook me to my 14 year old core. My mentor, my role model, the man who had given me ideals on justice and life, something to work for instead of just being a kid with a bad attitude self destructing, lost within the system was… dead.
I grabbed Roger by his shirt expressing my grief with anger as always. Near just sat on the floor playing with his puzzle. I never understood how someone could be so stolid, it killed. I then asked who L had chosen I needed to know. I planned my whole life around succeeding L. Worked harder than any student in Whammy's. I studied till I passed out face down on my book.
"He hadn't chosen yet." Roger continued talking but I barely heard anything. I knew what was coming.
"Can't the two of you work together?" My mouth clenched in anger. I wouldn't, no couldn't work with that little emotionless sheep.
"Alright sounds good." I knew he didn't mean it. He was just trying to get to me. He would control the whole investigation. Get the whole team on his side because my bad attitude would turn everyone away, it always did… well almost always.
I wanna listen to my own heart talking
I knew what I had to do.
"And as for me I'm leaving this institution." I turned and walked toward the door past Near and his disgustingly emotionless face partly covered by that disgustingly fluffy white hair.
"Wait Mello!" Roger cried out jumpy out of his seat as fast as the old man could.
"Don't waste your breath I'm almost 15 years old. It's time I started living my own life." I slammed the door behind me.
I couldn't count on Near, I couldn't count on Roger, I sure as hell couldn't count on L anymore. I had to rely on myself and myself alone.
I need to count on myself instead
I ran to my room as fast as I could. I ripped a black duffel bag from the closet as fast as I could. I tore all my stuff off shelves and grabbed all my clothes haphazardly dumping them into the bag. I was furious I couldn't breath. How could they expect me to work with Near? I was disgusted. As I was about to stomp out of the room I stepped on something causing it to crunch under his foot. I looked down it was a game cartridge.
Matt…
The one thing that could make me want to stay. Beautiful, fragile, Mail Jeevas. The gamer that was rarely ever an arms length away from me. He was like my other half, the one person even when I was in a rage would never hurt. Ever since I had turned 12 I knew I loved Matt as more than a friend but the boy was so young and innocent I couldn't bare to lose him to my confession.
"It's better this way," I deluded myself almost knowing I was doing it. "He'll be fine without me and I'll be fine without him." With that I snuck through all the back passages and out the cellar door. I didn't look back even as my heart clenched and a tear rolled down my cheek.
Did you ever
Lose yourself to get what you want?
Did you ever
Get on a ride, then wanna get off?
*A Year and a Half Later
Here I was sitting in the back seat of a high-class black car. I was trying to resist shaking. Today was my confirmation of loyalty to the Mafia. The leather I wore was uncomfortable and tight I hated it, bit I had to make them believe I was more than just a brilliant mind, I had to be hard as knives and twice as deadly. I was sixteen and I was about to make my first killing.
Who was I becoming? I was exactly the person L had wanted me to bring to justice. I felt shame burn in my stomach. I clung to my rosary with my right hand, I had always been a very religious person. I knew L was looking down at me from heaven in his strange crouched position shaking his head.
I spoke to him in my head. "L it's the only way I can avenge you. These people have the connections I need to make things happen. Please forgive me."
We began to slow down and I wanted nothing more than to tell them to turn around and let me out but I knew that wasn't a possibility. I stepped out of the car with the others, slinking into the house of an "ex" member who could easily expose us and go into witness protection. We couldn't risk that.
BANG!
I watched his brain paint the walls. A perfect shot. I felt sick, I thought I might vomit instead I lifted my still smoking gun to my lips and blew, smirking.
"Any other tests?" I raised a brow. They shook their head in unison, welcoming me with open arms.
Did you ever push away the ones
You should've held close?
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?
* Two Years Later
I stood in the shower trying to scrub away the murders, the blood, the greed, the just plain filthiness I felt. The scalding water was turning my skin a flushing pink. I sighed turning the water as cold as it could trying to numb myself. When I began to shiver violently I turned the water off stepping out and wrapping my body in a towel. I dried myself quickly slipping back into the leather pants and vest. I never removed my rosary, never. I made me feel safe, made me still feel some connection to god and L. It also made me feel guilty. I dried my hair as best I could. It was late at night but I knew I wouldn't be sleeping I had so many plans to make for the Kira case, I was high enough up in the rankings to begin making suggestions. They all took a liking to the idea of gaining the notebook which would give them Kira's powers.
Suddenly I heard the doorbell. What the hell I never got visitors, especially not this late at night. I walked to the door cautiously grabbing my gun from the table, I hid it my behind my back. I opened the door slowly I heard the sounds of rain and let he door swing open the rest of the way. I felt my heart fly into my throat. The last person I ever expected to see stood soaking wet at my door step.
"Hi Mello," Matt said gazing at me with apprehensive goggle covered eyes. Oh god he had only gotten more beautiful. His crimson hair soaked with rain, his baggy striped shirt covered by a fur vest. Those ripped jeans that used to be huge on him so he'd have to wear a belt all the time just to keep them up, now fit him perfectly. My mouth gaped open all I wanted to do was throw my arms around him. I almost did then I remembered the thing clutched in my left hand. A gun, a gun that I had killed countless people with. Matt sweet Matt, my beautiful Mail should never be exsposed to what I had. I wanted him sweet pure and innocent forever. What I was about to do would haunt me forever.
My eyes hardened into a glare that would scare a grown man in the military.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I demanded harshly.
"I-I came to find you. I missed you Mells." Matt said softly.
"Well I didn't miss you. If I gave two shits about you don't you think I would have brought you with me, or at least told you I was leaving? But yeah, I didn't. I didn't want my little puppy dog following me." I laughed callously. I felt knives stab at my heart.
"Oh." Matt dropped his head. I knew he was hiding tears and it absolutely killed me.
"Yeah, oh. So you can crawl back into whatever shit hole you crawled out of to come here." I couldn't breath. I was literally begging him to call me out on my lie.
"Okay." He said in a soft broken whisper. He turned and made his way down the step I could see his shoulders shaking. I cursed softly under my breath. He went to the drivers side of his car. Nothing happened for a moment and then the motor roared to life and he was gone. I starred until he was out of my line of sight. I dropped to my knees and began to cry.
"I'm so sorry Matt, I love you so much, so fucking much."
I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am
I'll give it all I got, that is my plan
Will I find what I lost? You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it
I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say?
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it
How will I know if there's a path worth taking?
Should I question every move I make?
With all I've lost, my heart is breaking
I don't wanna make the same mistake
Today my plan went through and I killed all of Near's comrades with names and faces I could identify… I had taken a step forward but I felt hollow. Hollow and sick.
Did you ever
Doubt your dream will ever come true?
Did you ever
Blame the world and never blame you?
FUCKING KIRA! If he hadn't come into the world everything would be perfect.
L wouldn't be dead.
Matt would be by my side.
I wouldn't be a murderous Mafia Leader. Yes I was finally number one at something, but some how that didn't comfort me.
I wouldn't feel so fucking lost…
I will never
Try to live a lie again
I don't wanna win this game
If I can't play it my way
I'm not gonna stop, that's who I am
I'll give it all I got, that is my plan
Will I find what I lost? You know you can
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it
I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say?
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it
I was again bargaining for the notebook with Police Chief Yagami and I knew that the results wouldn't be in my favor this time around. He had me trapped. I hated the feeling. I knew what I had to do. I knew I probably wouldn't make it out alive but somehow that didn't bother me as much as it should have, after all I had nothing to live for. The endless killings, the drinking, the drugs, having lost Matt. It as all killing me slowly any how. It was time to detonate…
Hold up, give me room to think
Bring it on down
Gotta work on my swing
Gotta do my own thing, hold up
I woke and my body throbbed. I couldn't even think my body was in so much pain. I couldn't breath. I hesitantly lifted my eyes. I was in unfamiliar bedroom and I tried to recollect what had happened.
Right I went and blew myself up… great.
But where was I know. Had one of the boys lived and save me? I smelt the strong scent of cigarettes. That wasn't abnormal many of the boys smoked.
"Hello?" I called my voice raspy.
Then once again the last person I expected to see walked through the door.
He looked in on me with a scared expression.
"Matt?" I said stupidly.
"Yeah…" He looked down.
"How did you find me?" I asked amazed. He blushed a bright red.
"I've sort of been keeping tabs on you."
"So… You know everything." I wanted to die. Matt knew the monster I've become.
"Pretty much. You've made good advancements in the Kira case." Matt said leaning against the door. I thought I had heard wrong. Advancements in the Kira case that's what he called me joining the Mafia and almost getting myself killed.
"But after you drink this I'll be out of your hair." Matt said passing me a water bottle full of some kind of orange liquid. "It's a water and vitamin supplement, it'll help you get your strength back." Matt said before turning around and walking away I wanted to cry out and tell him to come back but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
It's no good at all to see yourself
And not recognize your face
Out on my own, it's such a scary place
Matt and I had barely spoken in the past two weeks, I was bed ridden and Matt spent most of his time in the living room I had never seen. I assumed he slept on the couch considering I was in his bed. He was out buying cigarettes at the moment. I was so bored and the pain had lessened a lot. Matt had done a good job of cleaning my burns they had not even gotten infected.
I finally lifted myself from the bed and walked toward the bathroom once more. I relieved myself and as I was about to go out the door I noticed the mirror. Gauze covered one side of my face part of my chest, side and back. I was curios. I knew I shouldn't remove the bandages but I had to know. I unwrapped the bandages and closed my eyes before openinging them.
… I was hideous. The ugliness inside was now out in rhe open for everyone to see. It disgusted me.
I just continued to stare. I felt so alone. I felt so venerable.
Then I heard Matt enter the room connected to the bathroom. He looked into the bathroom to see me staring into the mirror expression blank.
"You healed up pretty good." Matt said a note of happiness in his voice.
"Hm… This is pretty good Matt." I hissed displaying my destroyed face. He gazed at me unafraid.
"Mello I saw you with your face bleeding and oozing, the flesh still sizzling. This is nothing." Matt said voice somber.
"Why?" I rasped.
"Why what?" Matt asked softly.
"After the things I said to you, why did you continue to care? Why did you save me?" I needed to know. How could anyone be so completely loyal and to a murderer like me?
"Mello…" Then he stopped.
"Say it." I snapped and then stopped myself. "Please I need to know."
"I love you Mello." He said strongly but I could tell it was just a front. "I always have. No matter how many times you've hurt me I could never stop loving you."
"I never, never wanted to hurt you." I whispered. "I was trying to keep you safe."
"What?" Matt said disbelieving.
"I love you Mail Jeevas. I didn't want you to get hurt because of me." Matt gazed at me shocked and I dropped my had in embarrassment. Then I felt a warm calloused hand cup my scarred cheek. He lifted my head and we gazed into each other's eyes. The goggles absent for ones so I could see his beautiful green eyes once more.
"You're so beautiful Mello. No matter what, you will always be my beautiful gun wielding, leather clad, broken angel." I let a tear escape my eye before leaned up and captured his lips with mine in the most powerful kiss that I'm sure has ever been exspierianced.
The answers are all inside of me
All I gotta do is believe…
Now without my Mafia connections I knew I had to get Kira another way. The only way was to prove Light Yagami and Mikami Teru's guilt by having Mikami get the real notebook and use it.
I'm not gonna stop
Not gonna stop 'til I get my shot
That's who I am, that is my plan
Will I end up on top?
Would I finally beat Near? Come out number 1?
You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
You can bet on it, bet on it
Bet on it, bet on it
As I mounted my motorcycle. I nodded to Matt. We would kidnap Takada and take down Kira. I knew this could very easily lead to my death but I needed to do this I needed to prove myself. I had to avenge L. I had to make the world a safe place for Matt. Matt would shoot the smoke bomb and escape to safety.
1
2
3
Go
I wanna make it right, that is the way
To turn my life around, today is the day
Am I the type of guy who means what I say?
Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it
You can bet on me
AN/ Sooo Was that terribly crappy or did I do a good job with a crappy song. I really did think it was fitting and I hope you liked it. I'd really appreciate a review. BTW I am doing 9 more of these type of Matt/Mello song fics so you can all give suggestion if I like them I'll do them