A/N – Ok, so my friend prompted me to write about a past GF of Hardison's. This probably isnt what she expected. But I can't help it. I'm kinda in a P/H half angst mood lately. Without actually making them a couple. This is difficult, people. Seriously. Anyway, hope you like!
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Hardison stops short, in surprise, as he enters McRory's. Parker takes that moment to look over to him from the bar and give him a look of confusion. He can't blame her. Normally, he'd be moving towards her unconsciously, setting himself on a stool beside her and having a drink. Normally, he wouldn't be frozen in the doorway, openly staring at a woman he never thought he'd see again.
Parker finally tracks his line of sight and realizes what he's doing. She turns to study the girl two stools away from herself, and then back to Hardison.
Hardison recognizes the look on her face, and it's enough to shake him out of his stupor. He needs to get to the bar before Parker breaks the poor girl.
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He approaches slowly, carefully, half hoping it isn't really her, but knowing he'd be disappointed if that was the case. Her back is turned and she's typing furiously on her phone, an untouched drink in front of her. Before he can stop himself, Hardison reaches out a hand and touches her shoulder gently, nudging her slightly.
Parker is still silent, watching the exchange with a mix of confusion and jealously she won't admit to.
She turns and Hardison catches his breath as the memories flush through him. She's as beautiful as ever.
She looks up at him, annoyance shadowing her face for a split second before recognition kick in, and a wide smile spreads across her face.
"Hardison!"
And suddenly he's got an armful of vanilla and cinnamon and warmth, and he can't help but smile. She still fits so well against his shoulder.
He smiles down at her when she finally pulls away, "Hey, Honey."
The sudden scrape of metal jars him back to his surroundings, and he notices a moment too late that Parker is making a hasty exit out the door. She runs into Eliot, literally, put pushes past him with surprising strength. Eliot stops, watching her run, before turning to see Hardison and Honey at the bar. Sighing, he gives Hardison a glare that clearly says 'dammit, Hardison!' before turning and going after Parker.
"What was that all about?" Honey asks, taking her place back on her stool.
Hardison takes his own seat. "It's... complicated."
"She your girl, now?" The question isn't accusatory, merely curious.
He always did love that about her. Honey understands that sometimes the past is just the past.
"To me? Always," he replies, "But we're not together or anything."
"She's pretty," Honey smiles again, and Hardison remembers the first time he saw her.
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Four Years Ago
Alec is lost. Not physically, of course, he knows he's at the Wal-Mart. He knows where he is. He just doesn't know where to start. He's looking for the perfect card for his Nana's birthday. He's nineteen now, a year out of the system, but she's still his Nana and he wants to pick a card that says everything he can never quite get into words, as much as he rambles.
But he is most definitely lost. There's a sea of cards in front of him, in the 'for her' section alone. And not one card that says 'Nana' on it. They've got Mom, Mother, Mama, Mami, Grandma, Grandmother, Aunt, Sister, and even Cousin. But not one card that says Nana, or Foster Mom or anything else that can help his current situation.
He groans aloud, deciding to give up and try the Walgreens down the street.
Before he gets further than three steps, he's stopped by a smiling girl in a blue vest. Her name tag says 'Antoinette.'
"Can I help you find something?" she asks, in a smooth but sweet voice.
Hardison can't help but smile back. He shrugs helplessly, gesturing at the multitude of cards. Antoinette laughs and it lights her whole face up.
Her skin is the color of honey.
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Now
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"So what are you doing in Boston?" Hardison asks, pushing the thoughts of Parker aside for the moment.
"Just visiting some friends from college," Honey shrugs, "They live over by Fenway."
"College?" Hardison is surprised, "You said you'd never go to 'some overpriced, soul stealing, government establishment.'" he laughs at the memory.
"Shut up," Honey admonishes. "They gave me a pretty good scholarship, for doing so well on the S.A.T.'s. I just had to keep my G.P.A. up."
"You were always smart," Hardison concedes, "Just never thought you'd end up in college, especially since you barely made it through high school."
"Ha!" she scoffs, "And whose fault is that? Who kept a poor, naïve seventeen year old out till the crack of dawn?"
"You were never naïve," Hardison laughs, "And you kept me out till the crack of dawn, I just followed your lead."
Honey just laughs, "Yeah, maybe that's true. But still, you were older, you should have known better."
"I knew well enough," Hardison teases, remembering the fight they'd had a month before she'd turned eighteen.
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Four Years Ago
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"That's just stupid," Antoinette argues, as she's unbuttoning her jeans.
Alec's hands drift down her sides to rest on her waist, before he remembers his point.
"It's not stupid, it's the law!" he defends, "And it's just a month. We can wait a month."
He takes a step back, shoving his hands in his pocket.
"So you don't want me?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest awkwardly.
His eyes go wide. "How can you even think that? I just... I saw too many people get in serious trouble in the program for breaking stupid laws like this. Danny went to jail because Alyssa was seventeen."
"And who's gonna tell on us?" Antoinette challenges. "It's not like I'll magically be a different person when I turn eighteen. It will still be me, it will still be us. And it's not like I haven't done this before. Come on, baby."
Alec doesn't talk, just looks away, avoiding her eyes. But the silence speaks volumes.
"Oh," Antoinette gasps in understanding, "You haven't done this before. Seriously?"
He just shrugs, embarrassed.
She moves into his space and wraps her arms around his waist, nudging him until he relents and returns the embrace.
"Nothing to be ashamed of," she murmurs into his neck, leaving light kisses. "I didn't even consider that, is all."
"I just never got close enough to anyone before, you know?" Alec feels the need to explain himself, but she hushes him.
"One month," Antoinette whispers into his ear.
Hardison gulps at the promise.
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Now
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"So, what have you been up to in the past three years?" Honey asks, tucking her dark curls behind her ear in a familiar motion.
Hardison freezes, unsure of exactly how to explain the past few years of his life.
"A little bit of everything," he settles on, giving her an easy grin.
"Still trying to take over the world, one computer at a time?" she teases.
"Nah," Hardison says, keeping the fact that he probably could take over at least America and parts of Europe if he really tried to himself.
"Why don't I believe you?" Honey smirks.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hardison laughs, "no need for accusations."
Honey's smile stalls, and she stares at Hardison for a long moment. He'd forgotten how dark her eyes were, how they seemed to smolder when she stared.
"What happened to us?" she wonders aloud, "Why'd I ever let you go?"
Hardison smiles sadly. Remembers how Nana got worse before she got better. Remembers how he'd lost himself in all the new technology and the doors they opened.
He remembers the last night.
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Three Years Ago
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"I'm leaving," Alec says it in a rush, looking everywhere but at Antoinette's face.
She's curled against his side, but pushes away quickly, anger already apparent on her face.
"What the hell, Hardison. What do you mean, you're leaving?"
"I need to leave," he tries to explain. But it's hard when he barely understands it himself.
"Why?" she asks, scarily calm.
He does look up then, and he's the one who's crying.
"I can't explain it, Honey. I just need to get out of here. I need to do something more than hold you back."
"You don't..." she begins, but he cuts her off.
"Then why haven't you applied to any colleges?" Hardison challenges. "You know you can get into any school you want, but you're still here. I'm not that important."
Honey glares, but it's mostly sad, "Of course you are. And I don't want to go to some soul..."
Hardison laughs dryly, "I've heard the speech. But I don't believe it. You deserve to go to college, and meet a million people and do all those stupid things we're supposed to do now. You don't need some amateur hacker with family issues holding you back."
Honey moves to stand before him. He's sitting on the bed, willing his eyes to stay on her, to not close against the tears.
"But, I love you," she says quietly, and yeah, he hates himself for making her sound so broken.
Hardison swallows hard, willing himself to get through the next part.
"I don't... I don't love you."
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The rest is a blur that he prefers not to relive and he never sees her again.
Until now.
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Now
"You didn't," Hardison finally responds, "I pushed you away."
Honey cuffs him lightly upside his head, "I know. I figured that out when you said you didn't love me."
Her tone is light, but he knows better. And knows it's more than past time to make things right.
"I lied," Hardison confesses, "I loved you like crazy. But I needed to leave, and I couldn't think of any other way you'd let me go."
To his surprise, Honey just laughs, "I know that too, Alec, it just took me a little while longer."
"Oh." He's not sure what else to say.
A loud buzzing breaks the silence and Honey pulls out her phone, reading the message it displays.
"Looks like my friends are heading back to their place, I'm gonna meet them," she explains, tucking the phone back into her pocket.
"I.." Hardison begins but gets distracted by Eliot coming back into the bar, practically tugging a reluctant Parker with him.
He smiles despite himself at the blonde girl.
Eliot wraps an arm securely around Parker's waist and leads her to Honey and Hardison.
Hardison just shrugs and makes introductions.
"Eliot, Parker, this is... Antoinette. We knew each other a long time ago."
"Nice to meet you," Eliot greets, shaking her hand.
Hardison recognizes the look in his eyes and none too subtly kicks Eliot's shin. No way in hell is Eliot flirting with his Honey.
Eliot, to his credit, pulls back the charm.
Honey reaches out a hand to Parker, who looks at her suspiciously for just a moment before reaching her own hand out and shaking it briefly.
"I was just leaving," Honey offers, giving them all a bright smile.
Hardison gives her a hug, thinking about everything that was and might have been.
"It all worked out," Honey whispers, as if reading his mind, "Be seeing you."
And then she's gone.
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Eliot's disappeared again, and Hardison once again wonders how the man manages to vanish into thin air almost as well as Parker.
But Parker remains, a peculiar look on her face.
"She was your girlfriend." she states. Not a question.
They move back to the bar, and Cora leaves drinks in front of them before slipping back into the distance.
"Yeah," he admits. He's never lied to her before, he's not going to start now.
"You loved her?" and this time it is a question.
Hardison sighs. Nobody ever said the truth was easy.
"She was the first girl I ever loved," he replies, taking a long sip of his drink before placing it back on the counter.
Parker looks at him sharply, "Did she leave you? Did she hurt you?"
At any other time, Hardison would be secretly pleased at Parker's apparent protectiveness over him, but he knows what she's capable of.
"No," he tells her truthfully, "I left her."
"Oh." The answer seems to please Parker, and she sips her drink quietly.
The tension has eased in the air, for which Hardison is grateful.
"So, the first girl you loved, huh?" she asks a moment later, and if the teasing tone isn't entirely effective, it's as close as Parker can get.
Hardison grins, knocking his knee against hers.
"She was the first, yeah," he says, "But definitely not the last."
She doesn't respond immediately, and Hardison feels the tension rising again, but then she's grinning and he can breathe again.
"Good," Parker says, "That's really... good."
It's not a declaration of love, but they're getting there.
He can wait.
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THE END