Disclaimer: I DarthSylar do not own the main characters of the story or any elements I have used. No one or property is being harmed by this story because all of it is the name of comedy. I own only my OC's and story ideas. Please be not offended as like I said its all in good fun!. Please enjoy and Review.
Rick Rolling Revenge With K.J Roke!
Guest Starring: Josh Culver, Jenny Jordan, Chris Angle the Mind Freak and Jessica Alba
Two Minutes into the Future!
Prydent B-raq Insane Ossama, sits in his throne room in oval office behind a desk of blood wood. Talking to skull covered in diamonds shaped the ocean.
"At last my! My plan has succeeded! After all these years of planning my scheme to turn America into a glorious communist state has succeeded. And with my cunning and plotting I have tricked the foolish capitalist slimes. And they thought they had elected their first black president. But in fact it is I." he pulls off his rubber mask to reveal his identity as.
"Christopho Von Zeymon, international Soviet diamond thief. And soon I will own all the diamonds in the world plunging it into a glorious revolution of the proletariat. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ho! Har! Ha!"
When suddenly to secret service men are kicked throw the doors and catch on fire.
"You! How dare you ruin plans!" Christopho Von Zeymon international Soviet diamond thief.
"Your time has evil one." The mysterious figure was covered in a cloak mad lava sheep skin from the mountains of Jupiter.
"Don't you new that I have been trained in your dark arts by zombie mech Lennon with a machine gun. I have furnomanal magic powers." He said as his hands become smoke and glow with fires and lighting. "At last words, stranjar!"
"Just Two…FUCK BANNA NA Na Na Na NA!" And with that the figure kick the prydnets desk at him and Christopho Von Zeymon international Soviet diamond thief was thrown out the window and feel two thousand miles onto the ice fire ground outside the White House. And died! The figure stood heroically as he stabbed himself with the American flag to take from out of his stomach a child.
"You my son will grow up to hero and save world with help of chosen one. Now send back though help. You will be Marcu Herrha the greatest Mexican in the face to multiearth. And I your father, Godzilla will help you in your journey." Marcu Herrha's father Godzilla then upper cut a hole in space time and threw his sun in there.
This has nothing to do with the actual events of this tale!
Part One: The Quest for Revenge!
Yesterday!
K.J walks in the desert with his friend Josh Culver, his blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle and his girlfriend Jessica Alba. K.J rembered back during the fight in the Time Crisis of how he killed Bruce Lee. But now he on quest to avenge his parents deaths by fighting the four Lees. Starting with Jet Li.
"We must find the Li and kill for my revenge. Garfingle use you Indian powers to find the next lee." Said K.J Roke.
"I'll do what I can captain." Said blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle.
"Please, my father was captain. Call deckler!" and with that blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle used all his magics to find Jet Li. It turns that Jet Li was hiding in underwater volcanoes doom fortress and is about to fulfill his evil plan.
"We should do something!" said Jessica Alba
"Should we do something!" asked blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle.
Just then! In a puff of thunder two figures emerged. One was Jenny Jordan dark Wizard of Fangar. And he dark master Chris Angle the Mind Freak.
"Wizards, Two of you!" Shouted the team in unicycle they were on.
"Yes, we were hired the evil Lee, to stops your quest. Prep Air to die." Said the dark wizard of Fnagar Jenny Jordan. K.J lounged at her with his hulk hands but she use teleport and land four year behind him, allowing for sneak attack by killing curse from ten wands with dragon cores.
Mean While! Josh Culver with a dual wield gun that fires guns that are on fire that shoot Nazis and the blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle holding a jar of glue ran real fast at Chris Angle the Mind Freak. Josh Culver shoots at Chris Angle the Mind Freak but it had no affect because he was no pants. Then he shot fire from his eyes at Josh Culver, But Josh Culver saw this coming and wore anti fire shark armor and proseded to jump run and Chris Angle the Mind Freak and kill him. Or so he thought. This was clone. The Real Chris Angle the Mind Freak was freaking the mind of blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle til his brains melted out of his skull. Chris Angle the Mind Freak then convered himself in the brains absorbed all of blind, mute, zebra cousin Garfinkle's powers and challenged Josh Culver to a battle on the ocean. Josh culver accepted and kick open the ocean underneath Chris Angle the Mind Freak and then a the Lock Ness Monster rose from the deep and ate Chris Angle the Mind Freak and exploded with Pink Fire that burned all of Kansas to the ground because no one about Kansas. And Josh was happy Chris Angle the Mind Freak was gone, but was pissed because he wanted to set Kansas on fire.
Ten Years before this happened K.J Roke and the Dark Wizard of Fangar Jenny Jordan continued their wizard duel. K.J duel wielded mountain swords that can cut through everything except for some mental patients. One such metal patient is Jenny Jordan.
"You mountain have no powers on me!" Jenny Jordan with smiles. No human can kill me. K.J looked mad at the ground and then stood up and shooted.
"I am no human…..I am an Asian." And he used his skill with a caluculator knife to cuts Jenny Jordan's wands in half and a quarter of her leg. Jenny Jordan knew she had to leave before her mom called her for supper and flew away shouting.
"I'll get next time K.J Roke!"
"And I will be the fat one then!" said K.J Roke rock music in the back ground! Part Two: It is a Trap!
After grabbing the map from the dead mack and cheese ogre of the space grotto, our heroes sailed fourth on ship into the ocean. The water was on fire and so was the sky and all the fish were birds that could fly at supersonic speeds and that killed the homeless. The longer they stayed out there the more and more they became more and more drunk. But not K.J Roke, He was already drunk and therefore was sober the entire. And Josh Culver gained more power the drunker he got and with all the solar radiation he absorbs.
"We are going closer to the doom fortress. What actually is Jet Li's plan?" Asked Josh Culver.
"He intends to launch missiles into the earth that will speed up it rotation and allow him to use the earth as a time machine so they can go forward and time and stop the American Revolution by killing the founding fathers. Tommy Lee Jones, Hunter Steven and Ben Franklin." Explained K.J Roke as he skydived of the ship into the ocean.
When Suddenly Jet Li rose from out of the sky riding on a dragon made blood flavored cotton candy and was engulfed in fire made of people's fear.
"You actually think you can stop me." Said Jet Li as he blackflipped into the ship and punched K.J Roke out the window. "I will now kill, lick I killed you r parents." Jet Li said with evils mad
"You will not harm the master K.J!" shouted Josh Culver as he ran like thunder duel wielding Battle Ox Maces that were covered in Omni Fire that gave him the powers of super man spiderman and the incredible hulk. Josh Culver smashed Jet Li into space and into he followed in his rocket roller skates. In space they thought and killed and blew up stuff. Josh throws the planet mercury at Jet Li but Jet Lit just stands as the universe around him explodes. Jet Li then grabs hold of Josh Culver.
"Any last words Culver."
"Just Two…Ape Snape." And at that Jet Li crushed Josh Culver's head in between his eyes.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" Shouted K.J " He was half Brother. Jet Li I will kill you! I'll you to death!
Part Three: Kill You Death!1111111!1111!
K.J Roke puts on his iron man armor that is powered by lighting and flew at Jet Li. Jet Li used karate chop to break K.J's armor. And then began the sword fight. Jet Li used twelve katana and K.J used shark swords.
"You are no match for me, K. Jizzle Roke." Said the evil Li.
"Evil will only triumph if am the evil." Spoke K.J in a tone of the matrix. Jet Li then punched strait through K.J Roke and he feel down bleeding green asian blood that could cure cancer, ashamed that Asians don't bleed often.
"Now you are gonna die now!" Said Jet Li Using Josh Culver's body as a sword.
When suddenly! A huge hand rips off the top of the Jet Li and threw it at Pluto causing the planet to exploded killing all the kittens and orphans that lived there. The hand belonged to Future Version of K.J Roke, who wore a trech coat, had gottee and had three eyes. One of which see alternate dimensions.
"Who are You?" asked K.J Roke as was deadening.
"I am you from the future, returned to the past to protect the present. And I am here to do one thing." In a serious tone similar to Gants tone of seriousness but that is ant other story.
"And that is?" Asked the dead K.J Roke
"To kill you" and Future K.J Roke used nuclear bomb to kill K.J Roke for ever. He then skipped over to the body of Josh Culver.
"I am sorry Josh, I probably could have saved you but I was busy having sex with my girl friend. But I know exactly what to do. So he punched the soul out of Josh Culver into Valhalla, where he will continuously fight and feed until the time comes for his assistance."
"And that will some time in the future based upon critical review. Now there are only three Lee's left. And I gotta kill em all!"
To Be Continued!