As Lucas stood at the front door of his brother and sister-in -law/ best friend's condo tucked away in an obscure Florida suburb he had an uneasy feeling. He'd come to town on business and since he hadn't seen either of them much since they'd moved here four years ago he thought he'd stop by. He knew he had stayed away too long by the way his hands started to sweat as he waited patiently for someone to open the door.
When the door opened and he saw Haley he realized that unfortunately the feeling he had was correct. There was a hint of something in her eyes that only he could've caught before recognition blocked it. At twenty four Haley was still his best friend from Tree Hill in some ways and others she wasn't. They still talked but not as much. Over the years life had pulled them apart forcing their dynamic to be changed.
He remembered a time when she told him everything that was going on in her life verbatim and if for some reason he wasn't there she'd call to catch him up. He misses that because now it's been replaced with fake pleasantries about work and other things. It's only every now and then that she unconsciously let's how she really feels slip into their bi monthly conversations.
It also pains him to know that for everything she divulges there's more that she isn't. He knows that things can never be what they once were because he's twenty six and old enough to understand that. Yet it's still hard to go from that to feeling almost as disconnected as a stranger.
"Hey you" she smiles lifting herself up on her tip toes to embrace him. "what natural disaster brought you to our door step?" she joked squeezing him tighter as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm in town for my tour but I was meaning to come earlier..." Lucas tried to explain leaning back still holding her before promptly getting cut off "Oh that's right! your a hot shot author now! congrats Nate told me you were on New York's best seller's list" Haley said stepping aside to let him in.
"Like there was any doubt" Lucas joked popping the collar of his navy blue polo shirt and walking in with an exaggerated stroll. Haley rolled her eyes in response to his faux smugness before closing the door behind him. When she turned around she was met with him planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.
"Got anything to eat" he asked sweetly "Yeah I think I can help the superstar with that. Who knows maybe next time I could get a mention in your next book" She joked about his dedication to Keith.
"If your lucky"Lucas said tauntingly leaning in close wagging his brows at her. she caught him off guard slapping him in the shoulder with mock disgust before walking away.
"Maybe we aren't as disconnected as I thought" he said to himself as he watched her walk away.
Lucas followed closely as the golden brown haired beauty shuffled down the hall as she lead him to her kitchen. The clothes she wore made it impossible for him not to notice her now curvier figure it consisted of a black velour mini and matching V neck hoodie. Haley was never thin but she never had the J-lo thing going as she does now "I guess having a kid changes things" Lucas thought to his self as they continued down the hall.
It consisted of pictures of Nathan and Haley's family & friends as well as a picture of Haley and Lucas moments before the wedding. Lucas was tempted to stop and ask about the photo. In it he looks as if he's smelling her hair he remembers telling her how he could never give her away before it was taken but right now he feels as if he has so he stays silent.
Photos of the wedding were only second to photos of Hayden Nathan and Haley's two year old son. Lucas stared at one of the pictures of the laughing green eyed ,pudgy brown haired boy . He smiled touching the picture softly. Once they were in the yellow and white linoleum floored kitchen he took a seat at the table.
"Where's Nate?" He asked leaning forward as he watched her move around the room gathering ingredients for a sandwich. "He's at practice he should be home for dinner in a couple of hours" Haley said her voice faltering a bit on the end. "Well I guess I'll have to see him tomorrow. I'll give him a call tonight though I have to check in to my room by four " Lucas explained leaning back in his chair.
"You've got to be kidding me. Luke you know we've got the room don't waste your money" She said slicing into a tomato. "I wouldn't want to intrude" Lucas replied before Haley interupted him "I'm hating you so much right now for making me sound like some cheesy movie but you're family it's your job to intrude" She said pointedly with the knife.
Lucas took this as a que to finish making his own lunch and got up to snatch the weapon from her grasp. "And since you're family you can help yourself" she laughed walking behind him and hopping up onto the counter across from him. "but I didn't agree to stay" Lucas smirked as he continued making his sandwich . "did you think you had a choice?" Haley asked sarcastically "Nope" he replied.
A couple of hours later Lucas found his self laying on one end of the couch with Haley on the other end facing him. Her smooth tan legs were shifted endlessly slowly driving him insane with distraction. "What's the matter?" he asked placing a hand on her silver anklet clad leg to still it. "Nothing ... I mean I just thought that he'd be home by now" she explained glancing at the clock and then back at Lucas.
"I'm sure he'll be here soon" Lucas assured her before running his hand across the bottom of one of her feet playfully. This caused Haley to recoil with laughter pulling her feet to her chest. Almost as if on que the telephone rang scaring them both before she went to the study to answer it.
"I guess it's just the two of us tonight" she announced somberly once she reappeared in the living room. "He's working late. he said make your self at home that and he'll be here in the morning" Haley said in a tone that Lucas knew she wasn't satisfied with Nathan's short explanation for his absence.
The next few hours were spent in relative silence except for the small talk during dinner. Gone was the Haley he encountered earlier in the day the one who at least resembled the girl he grew up with. She was now replaced with someone else. This person was quiet detached and someone he hardly knew.
Lucas knew she didn't change over the course of the day this change took years. Haley had become a shell of herself long before today he assessed as he helped her wash dishes and he was just too self centered to take an interest. Now as they stood in the doorway of the guest room Lucas finally began to feel the repercussions of his ignorance.
"There's clean linen on the bed and a fresh set of towels in the bathroom. Now go get some rest" she said wearily before standing on her tip toes for the second time that day to embrace him. "I'm happy that you're here" she whispered in his ear before stepping away. "And I'm happy to be here" Lucas replied sincerely.
It was the most heartfelt thing she'd said to him since he had arrived and it effected him. Taking a step back she began to turn and walk away when Lucas reached out and took hold of her arm. "Yo Hales" he said softly causing her to pause and look back "I'm sorry it took so long".
The next morning the light from the sun filtered through the sky heating Lucas Scott's half naked form gently prompting him to wake. The handsome blue eyed blonde groggily sat up in bed and was immediately enticed by the smell of bacon and eggs. His body responded to the scent and with a loud rumble from his abdomen so he got up and decided to follow the trail.
Arriving at the kitchen Lucas was surprised to find out that it was Nathan behind the stove. He stood staring with a look of mild amusement before Nathan looked up greeting him "Hey man long time no see" he said with a sincere smile. " same here" Lucas replied as Nathan wiped his hands on the dish towel on his shoulder before he opened his arms to embrace his older brother.
After the quick hug Lucas leaned back ruffling his little brother's slightly silver dark mane "Wow I thought I was the older one?" Lucas joked about the premature grays he spotted. "Yada yada yada grab a plate we'll see who's really old when I school you on the court a little later" Nathan retorted pointing to the table with the spatula.
This is when Lucas saw Haley she was so quiet didn't even register that she was there. She sat at the table in a knee length silk pin striped night shirt doing a crossword puzzle "Morning you" Lucas said kissing the top of her messy bunned hair peering over her shoulder at the paper. "mornin'" she mumbled engrossed in the puzzle "Psychology nine across" Lucas said taking a seat across from her knowing it would bother her enough to make her pay attention.
"I didn't get to that one yet!" Haley whined sucking her teeth with a glare that made him smirk. Nathan interjected placing the food from the skillet he was holding on to Lucas's plate "Voila! you'll need all the energy you can get for later" he said to Lucas before serving his wife.
"About that we'll have to make it a quick one because I have a signing at one"Lucas said looking over at Haley knowing she wouldn't be able to resist.
"You wouldn't want to cramp the super star's style would you?" she smiled playfully taking the bait.
"She's right I was about to ask if the two of you would like to join me but she's right she would just cramp my style" Lucas said stabbing a piece of bacon and biting it .
"Oooh burn!" Nathan laughed raising his hand to high five his brother but quickly lowered it once he caught Haley's glare. "Seriously guys would you like to go?" Lucas asked after the laughter died down "sure why not? you two can pick me up after your game" Haley said in an authoritative tone.
Staring across the table at her Lucas got the feeling that she was the boss of them both. The strange thing was that though they were just laughing at her earlier he got the distinct feeling that she was the one who had just had the last laugh.
"So how's she doing man?" Lucas asked as he and Nathan started their game of twenty one at a near by court. "She's fine.. I mean some days are better than others" Nathan replied before moving in for a lay up. "Well how are you holding up then?" Lucas asked cautiously "I'm still working through it in my own way" Nathan answered seemingly annoyed with his brother's questioning. "If you need to talk..."Lucas started before Nathan cut him off "Look are we here to play ball or is this an interrogation? he asked nastily.
The outburst came as a surprise to Lucas who said nothing before passing his brother the ball. The tension was so thick you could've cut it with a knife which why Lucas was glad when Nathan's cell rang. Throwing the ball back to Lucas he ran to the sidelines to answer it. "Something just popped up at work and they need me. I'll have to take a raincheck on the signing but you and Haley can tell me all about it over dinner tonight."He said jogging back to Lucas a completely different person than the one from moments before.
"Can you tell Haley for me? I won't be as late as yesterday. Between me and you she was pissed and I think she'll take it better coming from you." Nathan said slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Sure man" Lucas replied a little confused "Thanx man I appreciate it. Oh and sorry about ... you know it's still a touchy subject." He said touching Lucas's shoulder "I understand. Catch you later".
"Later" Nathan said tapping Lucas on the shoulder good naturedly before he walked away.
Lucas watched his brother until he could see him no longer. He knew from the moment he got there that things weren't what they seemed but he had a feeling he wasn't prepared to see how things truly were.
On the way back to the house Lucas phoned Haley to tell her what he'd been told. He didn't know why but something inside him said he was lying to her for Nathan and it didn't feel right. Lucas almost felt like it was payback for crossing a boundary with Nathan that he hadn't realized was there. As soon as the words left his mouth he could feel the tension radiating from Haley on the other end.
Haley soon mumbled an excuse of why she couldn't go and quickly hung up.
This weighed on Lucas's mind for the next two hours even as he signed books and posed with fans. His mind was fixated on getting to Haley and having the conversation that they should've had years ago.
Lucas arrived back at the house at seven thirty and just as the sun was setting. He put the spare key that Nathan had given him earlier in the day into the lock and turned it. He was surprised to open the door to a house of near darkness except for a lamp on the small emerald colored marble table where they kept the mail.
He didn't want to wake her just in case she had asleep so he didn't call her name. Instead Lucas checked the living room, kitchen and den before catching a glimpse of the light coming from underneath his nephew's door. He knocked lightly before entering the room and closing it behind him.
He found her sitting on the bed clutching Hayden's teddy bear tightly to her chest. She straightend up and wiped her face but her eyes and nose were still red and puffy from crying even though she tried to hide it. She didn't fool him and Lucas gave her a look that conveyed that " I can still smell him" Haley said pressing her face into the bear.
Lucas came to sit on the opposite side of the bed and touched the hand she rested by her side. "Nathan hasn't been in here since it happened" she said squeezing his hand and looking off into the distance "He doesn't even talk about him. It's as if he's trying to block out him and everything that had anything do with him" she said finally looking Lucas in the eyes "including me".
Haley's words cut Lucas in a way he couldn't describe because at that moment he knew he had failed her. Four years ago when Hayden had passed Lucas made a decision and it was to stay away. He had attended the funeral and stayed the weekend and not much else. He told himself at the time that Haley and Nathan needed one another way more than they needed him.
Lucas knew that they'd look to him for guidance as everyone in his life does but this was the only time he had none to give. He believed that they needed someone to be strong for them and he couldn't be that person. It's only now that he sees that just being there would've been instrumental in their healing.
The fact that he wasn't around served to put the ocean of distance that he now stared across between himself and them. Lucas could tell that the stress of only having one another to turn to had taken it's toll on the relationship and he felt responsible.
He looked at Haley a moment before standing up and walking to her side and holding out his hand to her "come with me" he says before she takes his hand.
Lucas lead her down the hall and to the guest room closing the door behind them. Haley walked over to the bed sat down and layed back against the head board looking at him expectantly. He could feel her eyes on him even as he leaned back against the door his head touching the oak as he closed his eyes and willed himself to speak.
"I wish I could take it back" he said finally after a long silence " What do want to take back Luke?" Haley asked sitting up suddenly "Everything" Lucas said opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. "I should've been there for you ... the both of you and I wasn't. If i'd realized..." Lucas said finally looking at her. "What could you have done? live with us" Haley asked laughing wryly. "Losing Hayden ... changed us and there's nothing anyone not even you could've done for us after that". she said leaning back with tears bordering her eyes.
"I'm not trying to say that...I can't begin to imagine the pain that you feel " Lucas said moving to sit in front of her touching her cheek wiping stray tear that escaped.
" I know Luke but this has changed you too I felt it and rather than pull you into our misery I preferred that you stayed away". Haley explained kissing the hand he held near her face.
Lucas sat back still trying to let all the information wash over him. "The choices Nathan has made since then are his own Lucas. I know your instincts are to save him but you can't save him from himself and neither can I. I know he's cheating on me I've been dealing with it for a while now but ... it's so hard".
Lucas was in denial about it but hearing her say it made it real and seeing her cry broke his heart. His cowardice kept him away from her before but Lucas promised his self that he'd never let it happen again. Lucas softly pulled Haley to his chest and carefully layed down with her "never again" he thought to his self "never again."
The two friends layed in silence for several minutes before Lucas heard her snoring and looked down. He thought that this would be a good time to think about how he'd approach Nathan so he began to extract himself from her. This became much harder than he anticipated seeing as she was determined to keep him there. Every time Lucas moved Haley would hold tighter to his navy blue dress shirt trying to keep him in place.
After a few minutes he finally gave up trying to break free only to have her wake up. He looked down to his chest where she layed her head and smiled when her eyes looked up to meet his. The look on her face was one he hadn't seen before and it unnerved him because he thought he knew all of her looks. Haley had one of the most expressive faces he'd ever seen. Lucas thought that even if hadn't known her the way that he did that she'd still be an easy person to read.
Lucas almost literally ate his words as she leaned up and brought her lips to his and leaned back. The kiss was innocent they'd kissed on the mouth many times before but this time it felt different,the way that she inspected his face after she did it was proof of that. Lucas really didn't have enough time to finish analyzing her intentions before she moved in again.
This kiss was anything but innocent as she pushed her lips between his prying them apart. It took a moment for him to respond and even once he did he knew he wasn't really in control. Haley hovered above him her upper half against his her lower half on the bed. He layed there and let her have her way his body giving her access to anything she wanted.
After a little while she leaned back again which he attributed to the fact that he wasn't touching her. " do you want me to stop?" she asked self consciously a look that he recognized. "ummm... do you want to stop?.. It's just happening so fast what ever "it" is..." Lucas said trying to figure out what was going on.
"I'm sorry I know this is strange but I just ... wanted to know what it would be like" Haley replied her voice shaking.
He was flattered but still nervous about her motivations " I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind a couple of times over the years but you don't need this" Lucas said looking up into her hazel eyes. "You're right Luke I don't need it but I want it".
All he could do was shake his head and smile "I know this seems like a good idea right now but are you sure?" he her asked cautiously. " Lucas right now this is what I want" she said staring him in the eyes before continuing "I can't predict how I'm going to feel in an hour, a week or a month. What I do know is that I'm sick of worrying. I want to feel something other than hurt or numb. Being with you and doing this... " she repiled before leaning in and capturing his bottom lip and sucking it "doesn't hurt and reminds of something I can feel".
Lucas was hesitant before he pulled her down to lie on top of him. He knew it was wrong but he thought about this way more times than he let on. The thoughts of betrayl that ran in the back of his mind were silenced by her speech and body as his lips slid against hers.
He knew he couldn't help himself but if he could help her he would've done anything. This was how he'd pay for letting her down and just as the thought entered his mind she pulled away. Haley sat back on her knees and with a brave look in her eyes slowly began undoing the ties on her black wrap around dress.
Lucas quickly questioned the cocky assumption he made earlier about knowing how to read her. Then realized that if he hadn't known her that he might've been fooled by this performance;but since he did however he could see the war that waged behind her eyes.
A couple hours later Lucas leaned over and grabbed his dress shirt off the floor where it layed rumpled. He threw it on and looked over at Haley who was sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. Then got up and walked over to her side before crouching down and moving the matted hair that stuck to her face. He kissed the part of her shoulder that the shirt left bare before turning to leave.
Once he was outside the door the blonde let out an audible sigh before he heard someone clear their throat. It was Nathan and the look he wore would've scared another man but not Lucas. He turned to face his brother his shirt unbuttoned and bare chested knowing he looked guilty.
"What the hell is going on?" Nathan asked through gritted teeth his brows furrowed in anger and his fist balled. "I would dignify that with an answer but something leads me to believe that you know . " Lucas said pushing past him with his shoulder turning him around.
Confusion quickly mingled with Nathan's anger as Lucas elaborated "She's not okay. I knew it and so did you. I'm her best friend it was my job to be there for her and I failed but hopefully I can mend that. You're her husband it's (YOUR) job to take care of her..." Lucas said stepping closer to Nathan "Do your job" Lucas said warningly stepping away.
Nathan backed away from Lucas turning to put his hand on the knob before he stopped " I know what she thinks and it's not true... We just kissed once but I just couldn't tell her. I did it because she didn't know me or anything about me. When I looked at her I didn't see memories of him or what he could've been. The thing is I didn't see Haley either and that's why it never happened again." He said looking back at Lucas pleadingly.
"I know its cliche but the saying is true you really don't know what you've got until it's gone" Lucas replied arching his brow before continuing "That being said she's not gone".
"That's good to know" Nathan said quietly before opening the door "Hey Luke" he called out his brother who was now down the hall causing him to turn "Thanx" he whispered . Lucas re guarded him with a simple head nod before returning to his room. Once there he threw himself on the bed his heart and mind both racing. Adrenaline sweeping through his system.
He wanted her god how he wanted her and she wanted him back and it was real. It was the realization that it was he was who didnt know what he had until it was gone, Though not gone completely he knew he would forever hold on to whatever he had .
The End