Disclaimer: I DarthSylar do not own the main characters of the story or any elements I have used. No one or property is being harmed by this story because all of it is the name of comedy. I own only my OC's and story ideas. Please be not offended as like I said its all in good fun!. Please enjoy and Review.
Daniel Grant Christen Starring In
Rick Rolling Revengence With K.J Roke!
Guest Starring: Daniel Grant Christen, the Last Lee and Jew Jokes
Fourteen Ninety Two
An amazing year in humane history! Columbo sailed the over the edge of the earth and funded the new world. Fernado and Iszilla tricked all the moors in Spain into sucide bombing all the jews while in their nature habitat, Hollywood. Man walks on moon…and kicks the native moon Indians into the blackness of Africa. And in the mountains of Indiana a child is born. What child is this? Well, wait for me tell you. You impatient kanucks.
This child was born of his father, Davy Crocket the most manly mountain man of Montana. Born from the body of a thousand bears from across da wold. From the polar bear, panda bear, grizzly bear, the Chicago bears and black gangsta bear. All fucked by Davy Crocket the most manly mountain man of Montana's bear hands. To create the da most beast son in da history of da wold, who has a great Disney ahead of him?
"My son. You are filled with the powers of all the bears in the world. It is you who must save my home land, mother Russia from the evil of the Soviet Reunion, led by zombie mecha Lenin. You will be the light tat sines in hour darkest power. The evil ones will be clensed from the mother land and you will become the next Tsar of Russia. But first you must find the chosen one and become his BFF Forever. Once he had fullfiled the profcy you must go forth and bring together an army of bears to help you save the mother land. You will be named E. Cullen Patrick Eden. May the bear force be with you." Said Davy Crocket the mostly mountain man of Montana.
This… has every thing too do with Bear War: Cullen's Conflict, Coming Soon to a luncheon courtyard near you. Rate B, For Beasting. Now the frilling conclusion of the Rick Rolling Sega with K.J Roke, now starring Daniel Grant Christen!
Volume 4: Fugitives!
Twenty Minutes into the Future
"I am here now! Now prep air too die K. Jizzle Roke!" said Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster as the time police swat dudes beguns too surround K.J Roke. K.J Roke just stood dare et watched. He then makes with yalls and shouts.
"Slickback the Time Traveling Ganster! Do not stand in the way of dynasty. I will kill the last evil Lee before they change the past and avenge my father, Josh and Miiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkeeee Valesko helicopter hitman for hire."
"Good Bar!" echoed Mike Valesko helicopter hitman for hire's ghost.
"Firstly its Gangsta. Thirdly, you got to stop opening holes in space time, we got a call from some kid who says you killed his planet. Secondly, you killed the present time K.J Roke and replaced him messing up the contingum. Secondly, the evil Lee are not evil they are just misunderstood. They are destined to prepair the world for the coming of the messiah by stopping the American Revolution so speaks the masters of time and space, the Intergalacticl Jew Council." Said the now Jewish Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster! "Attack him for we are with out sin can castrate the first stone."
Thusly the time police swat dudes galloped towards K.J Roke. But K.J Roke being the ultimate badasses jumped in da air and did a summer salt and used fire fistes to punch holes in time and space dat sucks them into the death of the elvis-ocity.
"No, You balloon your totally foking up the space time continuity."
"Dat is a very good plan." Said K.J in insolent tone of disobedience. And thusly began to pelving thrust against the walls of reality and cause the multi verse to quiver and shake and made them split into further multi verse and ripping holes between dumb causeing unimaginable horrors to be unleased, like giant ants, the dragon of agiminom and the Olsen Twins, in our universe.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! Ninjews kill him dat fokin D doubble G!" shouted Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster.
Then the Ninjews ran towards K.J Roke and K.J Roke could not see them because they were invisible and he needed special sunglasses which he wears at night to see them and them continues to beat them to death with his Jason Born moves. As the ninjew began to die Slickback the Time Traveling Gangsta jumped cut in front of K.J Roke. K.J Roke Stod dare and locked hard at him.
"Don't make me destoy you." Said Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster.
"I'll do what I must, Because I can!" said Slickback the time traveling Gangsta holding two golden shotguns sideways and shooting at K.J Roke while he was still fighting the Ninjew. K.J then used his Asian knowledge of the ancient Chinese secret to make a gun that could kill Slickback the time Traveling Gangster out of a squirrel, a dead ninjew, a nuclear missile, duct tape and a preexisting gun that could kill Slickback the time Traveling Gangsta. He shoots it and It make big boom boom but it missed because Slickback the time Traveling Gangsta saw it cumming become he fromm the 50's. So K.J fingered a hole in Time and came out two hours to the future and used his Kung Fu to flip Slickback the time traveling gangsta's golden shotguns around at himself and make them shoot him in the chest and brain. Slickback was still standing then.
"You have force my hand K.J Roke. Now you dies." And then all the ninjew jumped on to him and together they became Goliath the Sumojew of Time Police! K.J Roke locked up and saw dat it was homeless to stop Goliath the SumoJew of the Time Police! So he got down on the grond and sadded.
When suddenly from the deepest reaches of space came a kick that sliced Goliath the Sumojew of the Time Police in half and then K.J used lazer eyez to burn the halfs and then he snorted them to get a hardcore high. But the Slickback the time traveling gangsta leaped out and tried to punch K.J Roke but K.J Roke punched Slickback the Time Traveling gangsta in his flavor flav clock medallion causing him to rapidly age and die and turn to dust and was set on fire by K.J pissing on him to put out the fire. Thusly ended Slickback the Time Traveling Gangsta!
The mysterious figure that killed Goliath the Sumojew standed up with his leather jacket blowing in the wind and in a familiar tone of anger and irritations said
"Here we go again boy!" said Daniel Grant Christen!
Volume One: Genesis!
Long time go back when K.J Roke was baby in Jersey. He sat in the rice patties ridding on his pet WearPanda. It was a normal and kindly day! When Suddenly! The four Lee approached the K.J Roke Kastle riding on top of their trusty steeds the Jews. Once there the fourth and final Lee leapt down on two the sky were K.J Roke baby was playing with kantanas and bannas and santas. The Last Lee lent down at the little baby K.J Roke holding a bottle of milk. And said in kindly voice
"Da u wan son milk baby?" K.J Roke baby held off arms like he wan da milk. The fourth and finale Lee extenze his arms towars the baby K.J Roke with the milk.
And then Suddenly the fourth Lee said "Now I throw you too tigers." And thusly baby K.J Roke flwe into the elephant pit. Where he had to fight to survive and gained experience points by killing rats. Mean While the other five lee dismounted their Jews and burned down his family's mariaunna farm witch had its fumes spread across the sea and thusly pokemon was born. They also tied K.J Roke's dad to pole and paid strippers to do dancing around him til he died and then set on fire…blue fire.
In the president K.J Roke had tar drop oot of his I.
"K.J Roke" axed Daniel Grant Christen "I was sad for you father dead. I fought him during the clone wars. I am hear to avenge him." K.J Roke locked dead in Daniel Grant Christen's Is and said with great enunciation…
"No we will do more than Avenge him. We will take are revengence on the evil Lee."
"But K.J Roke, the Evil Lee are not Evil, they are being used by the same people who were controlling Slickback the traveling gangster." K.J Roke new wat Daniel Grant Christen was saying.
"The Intergalactic Jew Council" They said in unisex.
"I heards aboot them while I was assembling a team to protect the space time from teh now corrupted time police. Their name, The Legion of Doom, their mission to spread lies, injustice and the French way!"
"It god to hear there is someone good left in te multi verse."
"Let us get to the seekret meeting place there we can get wepon"
"Can I say the line?" ass K.J Roke
"Sore!" said Daniel Grant Christen
"Here we go again Boys!" said K.J Roke in a less awesome manner than Daniel Grant Christen.
Volume Two: Generations!
Two Years latter at the Prince of Peace Luncheon Courtyard. Da Supa Team of K.J Roke and Daniel Grant Christen were prep airing their wepons and were aboot to go to the location of the final Lee and their ultimate weapon that they intend to use to make the earth a time machine and go fourwars in time and stop the American Revolutions, this weapon is called
"The Death Star of David!" said Daniel Grant Christen said in a tone of mild amusement and lamentations. "A Jewish battle moon capable of propelling planet sized masses through time. Based on these plans it would suicide to run in with small ships that could evade their laser torrents. Rather we intend to use large cruise ships to draw its fire while we waltz in the front door. Many Bothans died to get dis information. But they were racists, so it is fine."
"Wat cruise ship are using for the distraction."
"Meaningless saucer sapped ship used by a discus ting alien race known as the Prawn."
"Always hated those Prawns." Added K.J Roke in tone of chaotic neutrality.
"I hate the Intergalactic Jew Council. After you Told me it was them who Killed Slickback the Time Traveling Gangsta."
"Yes. It was the Intergalactic Jew Council. Now let us go fourth and enact our plan to kill the last of Evil Lee.
And with that the plan went off without a hitch. The Tim made it inside and were completely underdetected.
The Prawn Ship was heavenly damaged and stopped above Johannesburg. Nothing much came of this so let us continue with the only interesting story going on.
K.J And Daniel, The Death Star of David, NY
The team was stealthing and using their powers to kill the Jew Troopers. K.J Roke used his telekinesis to cut off the heads of the Jew Troopers allowing him to use their power to control the stock market to cause the Great Depression because K.J Roke, unknown to Daniel Grant Christen, is a dick. Daniel Grant Christen was using his years of ninja training to heard the Jew Troopers over the edge of a cliff by telling them there was an uninvested million an dollar bill, they fell their horrible deaths on the jagged rock world of Vurloc 7. Word to wise not go to there because Vurloc 7 Ate Vurloc Nine(In Theatres Today).
While the team was having fund massing up the Death Star of David, Daniel Grant Christen gotton a text message from the ghost of Slickback the Time Traveling gangster.
Dear D G C, How are you? I am Dead and K.J Roke Killed me! He probably lied aboot how I died. But search you feeling you will it to be true. Your Dead Friend Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster. It is Gangsta.
Daniel Grant Christen was madded aboot this. So he jumped in the air and shooted at K.J Roke
"How dare you kill friend" K.J Roke herd this and began to fight back!
Volume Three: Villains!1!
The epic struggle was going on between the once great friend bot now immortal enemies.
Daniel Grant Christen used spirit bomb to send K.J Roke Flying into air and turn of the gravity and made everything superfly and floating.
"How could you lie to me K.J Roke." Said Daniel Grant Christen shooting to seven barreled Magnum Pistol that sought skulls. "I gave you my lungs."
"Were not brothers. Our parents may have been friends but yours didn't die. Mine did. So I have the right to Angst in way I care for." Said K.J Roke as he punched thought the skulls that were being sought at him. "I must kill the evil Lee and save the American Revolution."
"But K.J Roke the American Revolution is Evil." Countered Danile Grant Christen as he punched K.J Roke in the Heart with his atomic fist.
"From my point of View the universe is evil." Rebottled K.J Roke who then summoned Lava that they were surfing on and fighting lazer swords, laser sword with a Z. While litning clapped and the soundtrack of High School Musical Two played in ominous latin chanting. It was Hardcore.
K.J Then threw a ninja blade a an odd looking machine and it blue up in a bloom.
Daniel Grant Christen then said. "You just broke the Binary Liquid Catalitic Cracking Unit…IT made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it Hiro." K.J Locked up and Daniel Grant Christen who was on the floor and said with snarls…
"I hate Heroes!"
"Then truly are lost." Say's Daniel Grant Christen as he tries to slice off K.J Roke head but misses and decapitate Jerry Seinfeld and Larry King, but they were Jews so they okay due to their rapid cellular regeneration.
Daniel Grant Christen Stopped fightin and said in a confident heroic voice of wining. "The elevated geography that I stand upon lends to tactical superiority that effectively is you downfall."
K.J Roke then used Earthquake stomp to send Daniel Grant Christen frying and said with sadism.
"Don't you know there is No High Ground in Space. Moral or otherwise."
Daniel Grant Christen was now weekend and backed against a window and corrnerd by K.J Roke. Daniel Grant Christen took breath and said
"If you strike me down I Wi-" but was interrupted buy K.J Roke kicking Daniel Grant Christens in the balls out the window in to the black whole that was one Agent Guy number Two where he exploded with the force infinite plus one Jews, which made a noise that could only heard by the albino horny snail and mental patients, but the whales could not hear it, killing him deader dead and that is quite dead. So Ended Daniel Grant Christen the chosen one.
K.J Roke was gladded and said.
". I am sorry my old fiend I will now avenge you and get u the justice you so rightfully deser-" But he was interrupted by a pumpkin bomb hitting him in the face causing him to become to Two Face. K.J Roke was mad now and shouted with evil mad.
"Dimmitt…You Basterd"
Part 5: You Basterd!
K.J Roke fresh from killing the Chosen One, Daniel Grant Christen my he rest in the quantum singularity he was viscously thrown into, was skipping towards the main throne room where the Last Lee and least importantly the Intergalactic Jew Council was.
When Suddenly K.J Roke ripped down the doors and kicked them into a cradle of baby kittens.
"It is the Roke Boy. We must leave before he unravel our conspiracy. We must leave." Said the Intergalactic Jew Council
"You must be the Intergalactic Jew Council." He said to the group of god's most humblest creatures, the Velociraptor, that were hurdled in a rocket ship. "I have no beef with you now leave the last Lee to be." And with that the Intergalactic Jew Council used their wings to fly away in the starlight.
"Now last Lee reveal you self." Then the chair in the center of the room turned around.
"So you finally found me, True Believer!" and it revealed the vilest and most evil of the Evil Lee...Creator of Marvel Comic Stan Lee!
"I should have know I was U." shooted K.J Roke Bake.
"Now I will do what I should have done along time a go." Creator of Marvel Comics Stan Lee staid up and accessed his away of powers. He was wearing iron man armor with doctor octopus arms and was flying the silver surfer's silver surfboard and he was super stretchy Mr. Fantastic, and had the Spiderman's powers and had the hammer Thor and was the Incredible Hulk and ith Wolverine Hands and shot lazers from his eyes. "I will Kill You"
"" shooted back K.J Roke as he charged at Stan Lee with quintuple wielded Shot Katanas made children's fear…of jews.
The battle ragged for many hours in sides the Death Star of David, making millions dead and one injured. Then K.J Roke went Super Saian and used fire to take the battle into space. But little did K.J Roke know dat the darkness of space is where the Evil Lee are at their strongest.
The Stan Lee started punching and kicking and biting and ripping at K.J Roke balls because those were his only weakness. K.J Roke fell down on the ground and the Evil Lee stared down at him and said.
"IT is over. You have killed all your allies and the American Revolution will be stopped. Any last words K. Jizzel Roke." He said with an evil smile dat he held a gun with.
K.J Roke locked sad at the ground and punched him and punched him and punched him and punched him and then used sonic which real loud because everything echoes in space and then used super strength to rip off Octopus arms and stole the Thor hammer which he used to smash the Iron Man Armor. He then used Stan Lee's wolverine claws to cut out his lazer eyes. And then sang beautiful song by John Mayer to make Hulk powers go away and used lighting blast to send Stan Lee Floating slowly away through several inhabited worlds and Pluto.
"Do Not ! That is impossible, you just an Asian! You can't be powerful than any Man! Your retarded like the Goddamn Batman! But still you defy me. What are U?" Stan Lee shouted with first time fear. K.J Roke used big breath and badass language skilz to say
"I Am Sparta!"
And with that K.J Roke Used lighting powers to subdue Stan Lee and used the The Death Star Of David as a Ninja star and threw it deep into Stan Lee's brain witch caused smassive explosion of palsma waves, that killed the Last Lee, but sent K.J Roke flying through stars and planets and then he skipped across a lava lake like a skipping stone on an average planet of lava and muslims and died.
Or did he?
Volume 5: Redemtion!
"Is he alive?" Asked the Dark Wizard Jenny Jordan.
"Barely!" said a mysterious voice
"A pity! Can you rebuild him."
"We have the technology! Take with us. I see great future ahead of this boy." And so they the leave the average planet of lava and muslims.
Two hours later
In The Hall of Justice the legion of super villains gather around to here their dark master speak in only a voice that be understood by special people and dogs and maybe one or two types of crabs but that is pushing it.
"I reveal to you our newest warrior." Said more mysterious voices. And from the smoke and balckeness and the darth vader theme song rose a platform holding a once familiar figure but he was now more machine than Sparta.
He was wearing Darth Vader Armor only with four arms and was cover in lightning spikes and was on dark red fire and he rode on the green goblin's glider thing and he also had the Venom Symbiote that increased his dancing skills and made aggressive. And he had breathing problems, because assmar.
"Where am I!" You are amongst friends master Roke said Alfred butler of Batman. "You are with the Legion of Super Villains. You are the chosen one of the evil side."
"What is thy bidding… my master!"
"All in good time my boy, all in good time. For soon the world will learn to fear the power of our plan codenamed: BNQDX!"
The End?
TO Be Continued!