11am Daydreams

Authors Note: So I wrote a fic called 'Four in the Morning Fantasies' in Shinji's POV, and this is basically a companion fic to it. You don't need to read it to understand this, but if you'd like to it's there :) This one is in Yutaka's POV, which you'll find is more PG than Shinji's. I'm also considering writing another companion to this that's in third person where they both get what they want, but I'll still on the fence about that.

Also, on a sort of unrelated note, I wanted to tell you guys about something I'm really excited about! Did you guys know that there is a BR kinkmeme on Tumblr? For those of you who don't know what a kinkmeme is, it's basically set up so that people can send in fic requests (Anonymously, if desired) and then other people can fill them by writing a story that fulfills the request. It's pretty cool, and I'm excited about it since when I first got into this fandom it was one of the things I was hoping would be out there. Anyway, if you're interested you can search 'Battle Royale Kinkmeme' on tumblr and find it, send in some requests, and maybe fill some! Anyway, that's Poge's PSA of the day.

When I wake up I'm both pleased to find that it's not because Shinji is making me and that Shinji's arm is wrapped snuggly around my body.

I live for mornings like this. Mornings that I know are the result of Shinji being unable to sleep the night before. He only manages to sleep later than me when he can't sleep the night before.

I'm lying on my back, half on top of him, with my head lying on his chest, while my right hand is open on his hip. I might slide off of his body if it wasn't for his arm holding me in place.

It's probably wrong for me to enjoy this. As a straight guy I probably shouldn't love waking up to another guy holding me, but with Shinji I can't help it.

At 11am I can't help it.

I'm barely awake, definitely not awake enough to control my thoughts. Definitely not awake enough to remind myself that daydreaming about Shinji isn't okay.

Just awake enough to know that I like the feel of his arm around me and love the way his abs are pressed to my back. And that's more than enough to fuel the daydreams.

The one's where Shinji isn't acting like he's just my friend. The one's where he's awake.

He'd pull me closer to him, wrapping his free arm around me to join the other. Then he'd kiss the top of my head before asking if I was awake.

I wouldn't have to answer, just gently squeeze his hip in response.

He'd hum pleasantly, happy that I was awake too. Then he'd signal with his hands that he wanted me to turn over so that we could be chest to chest.

I'd listen, knowing that whatever he has in mind is probably better than anything I could imagine.

Once we were face to face he'd kiss me deeply. His lips would be passionate and searing against mine, just the way I want them. His hands would be running down my back as though he knew every inch of me. He'd know exactly how to touch me.

He'd flip us over so that he was on top of me, straddling me. He'd smile down at me before he kissed me again, deeper this time.

His hands would be roaming all over my torso, unashamed at the movements. He'd know he could touch me however he wanted. That I wouldn't let anyone else touch me but him.

He'd pull away from my mouth only to move down to gently suck at my collar bone. I'd groan at the feeling, my hands traveling up to his back to feel all of the muscles there.

He'd suck at the spot on my collar bone until he was sure that there would be a hickey there. He'd want to make sure I remembered this. He'd want to make sure I only thought about him later.

He'd kiss up to my ear, his hot breath on my ear feeling amazingly good, before he started talking. He'd tell me that I was the only one he wanted. He'd say that I was his and no one else's, knowing that I'd need to hear it.

His hand would be trailing down my stomach as he spoke, making its way to my boxers. His fingers would graze against the band before he'd tell me that he loves me.

Then his hand would continue down past my-

Shinji shifts in his sleep, interrupting the daydream that I'm not even supposed to be having. He only moves for a second before he groans and removes his arm from me to rub his eyes.

"Get up, Yutaka," Shinji tells me as he slides me off of him so that he can get up.

"In a minute," I grumble, turning my head to look at him.

"You drooled on me again," he mentions as he wipes a spot on his chest.

I almost sigh knowing that reality and my daydreams are so far apart. Not that I didn't know it already, but at 11am when I'm barely awake they seem almost possible.

"Sorry," I say as I rub my eyes.

Once I've rubbed them I look at Shinji again, who's looking at me strangely. For a second I feel like he can read my thoughts, but I quickly throw that out.

"Can we have pancakes? I'm fucking starving." I ask as I sit up in the bed.

I don't actually care about pancakes, not that I'm opposed to them, but I'll do anything to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling in my chest. Because I don't need to think about how Shinji would react if he knew the things I daydream about. I don't need to think about how he'd react if he knew that sometimes I can't help thinking about him.

So instead I'll ask for pancakes. I'll say anything I can think of to distract myself from this morning's daydream. I'll tell any joke I can think of to make Shinji laugh and then follow it up with a request to go to the movies or maybe the arcade. Anything to feel normal around him. Anything to dull the desire in my chest.

And then suddenly Shinji is smiling at me and lightly laughing. "Yeah, I'll make some."

And it's weird, because I swear he sounds disappointed about it.