Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of the content, characters, and story lines created by the brilliant Russell T. Davies, Stephen Moffatt, or any of their cohorts. I am borrowing them purely for my pleasure and (hopefully) the reading pleasure of others.
Author's Note: This idea came to me recently after reading a story written by DoctorWand. I've tried writing Doctor Who fiction before, but I finally came across a story line that seemed viable (at least in my mind) as a rewrite for Rose and the Doctor's farewell in "Journey's End." The first few chapters are devoted to exploring thoughts and motivations for why everyone acted the way they did, while subsequent chapters while elaborate on the relationship between Rose and the Doctor. Consequently, many of the later chapters will be AU vs. a series rewrite. I hope you enjoy what I've written here and I hope I've done these characters justice (they're my OTP). Please please please feel free to leave any questions and comments. Thanks! - krashingkritter
"I said, 'Rose Tyler,'" the Doctor admitted to the blonde standing before him.
Although she was older than the last time they saw each other, the Doctor could easily recognize her anger and defiance. They were the same emotions she brandished with an acid tongue when his previous incarnation referred to her as a "stupid ape." Even then, he knew he couldn't leave her. Sure, he slammed the door to Pete and Jackie Tyler's flat and set off for the TARDIS with long, purposeful strides, but even then – even through the long-simmering fog of the Oncoming Storm – he knew he'd brave an entire fleet of Daleks just to save her. He never thought he'd encounter such a dire situation during with Rose, but their experience on the Game Station proved him wrong. He rescued her then, with the aid of Jack and the extrapolator, only to send her home a short time later. Those were two things he never conceived of doing, even though he created Emergency Program 1, just in case things went pear-shaped.
Funny how time forces us to the extreme edge of what we think we can do, he thought with an inward smirk.
Now, here he was again, trying to leave Rose with her family in another universe. This wasn't the plan – there wasn't supposed to be a Metacrisis Doctor – but what choice did he have? At least this way Rose had a chance at a good life. That's all he ever wanted for her, even if it wasn't with him. If only he could convince Rose to stay. That was the tricky part. After all, how could he refuse those beautiful, pleading eyes? It would take an iron will, but he had to do it. He had to deceive Rose.
Right. Let's do this.
Rose was incredulous. The Doctor may have said "Rose Tyler" on that fateful day, but it wasn't the full sentence. He knew and she knew it. Maybe if I push a little more, maybe he can admit it…
"Yeah? And how does that sentence end?" Rose implored the Doctor. She could see the war going on inside his head, those carefully concealed emotions threatening to burst forth from a place hidden deep within the Doctor's soul. His eyes looked raw and strangled, as though a captured bird was furiously beating its wings against a cage. Rose knew he loved her, but after years of trying – and failing – to get back to him, she needed to hear those words spoken aloud. More than that, she needed the Doctor – the same one attempting to leave her with his human clone on the same godforsaken beach – to confront the reality of his decision.
Please, Doctor, please don't leave me again, her mind and heart silently begged. Please. Just say it. Just this once and I'll never make you sit for another Christmas with my mum.
Of course, spending Christmas with Jackie Tyler was a moot point. If the Doctor said those precious words, there would be no more Christmas mornings with the Tylers. It was the unspoken truth hidden in Rose's exchange with the Doctor, but Rose accepted that truth a long time ago. It was how she ended up on Dårlig Ulv-Stranden in the first place.
Bloody beach, she thought, casting a furtive glance out of her periphery. She'd be happy if it disappeared forever.
The Doctor noticed Rose's small, sideways look at the horizon. Her disdain for the dreary sky and lapping waves was evident in the sudden hardness that overtook her gold-flecked eyes. It was as though a cloud of loathing and despair drifted over her mind, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. The Doctor knew what she was demanding of him, contemplating his next move as he played with a small piece of lint in his pocket. The words "I love you" were lodged in his throat like a piece of Cambezian shortbread.
Nasty little pastry, the Doctor thought, instantly recalling the coarse, seaweed-like grains. Only Cambezians would think to turn something as tasteless as kelp into biscuits. They didn't even offer marmalade! Not that Cambezian marmalade is something to brag about it. Tastes dreadfully of pine needle tar and molasses. Martha could barely choke down a bite, but Rose would have…
The Doctor stopped himself. He didn't need to think about Rose's reaction. She was right there, calling to him like a siren from the deep, her blonde hair blowing this way and that in the cold Norwegian wind. He could take her to Cambezia himself! He knew she'd get a crack out of their unusual tea time traditions (If one could even call it tea time. It was closer to the Stivaakan bathing ritual…). All he needed to do was choke out a simple phrase. It was right there, right at the back of his throat. I…
"Does it need saying?"
Those weren't the words he was searching for, but there it was, an omission of truth. There. I've done it, he thought, noting the look of disappointment in Rose's eyes as she turned toward his clone. Now she'll have to stay with him. It has to be that way. It has to be…
That wasn't what the Doctor intended to say. Rose could see it in his defeated posture and hear it in the rawness of his voice. He was purposely trying to push here away. Just like Madame du Pompadour all over again, Rose thought, the tang of jealousy rising in her throat as she recalled the Doctor's flirtation with the French noblewoman. It hurt then and it hurt now.
Well, not this time! This time I'm going to make him tell the truth!
Determined to confirm her suspicions, Rose turned to the blue pinstriped Doctor standing on her left. Maybe, if she could get the Doctor's clone to admit his feelings, maybe the Doctor would act on them. It was worth a shot, at any rate. He may look and think like the Doctor, but he isn't the Doctor, and I'm going to prove it!
"And you Doctor? How does that sentence end?"
Casually, the Metacrisis Doctor took his right hand out of his pocket, leaned forward and whispered, "I love you," into her ear. The timing and execution was flawless, just the way the Doctor would've planned it himself. It was a ruse, after all, a perfectly calculated way to convince Rose Tyler to accept blue pinstripes instead of brown ones; and, for a moment, it worked. For a moment Rose forgot about the difference between the two Doctors and reached for the one that told her everything she ever wanted to hear.
It was a gut reaction, pure and primal. Looking up, she grasped the lapels of the clone's jacket and pulled him into a desperate, time-lost kiss. It was electric, exactly the way she thought it would be, but…it wasn't the same. There was no warmth and tenderness the way there had been when Rose kissed the Doctor's helmet on Krop Tor. It was like Cassandra using her body to kiss the Doctor in New New York. It wasn't her then and it wasn't him now. The single heart beating inside his chest betrayed the reality of the situation.
Suddenly, Rose heard the TARDIS starting to dematerialize behind her. In the midst of her emotion-fueled kiss with the blue pinstriped Doctor she hadn't even heard Donna and the Doctor retreat through the TARDIS' doors. Everything happened so fast. It was as though some cosmic hand reached forth with a giant infinity bag and snatched up her brain before she could think straight. The Doctor had engineered this situation, she could feel it. Every cell in her body screamed forth with betrayal as she broke away from the Doctor's clone and spun in the direction of the TARDIS. No…, she thought, her blood pressure rising in panic as her stomach dropped into a bottomless void. No!
Rose took a few halting steps toward the TARDIS, expecting it to disappear any second, but the blue box patiently remained, it's form pulsing in and out of transparency.
"She's waiting for you," the other Doctor said as he approached Rose and took her hand.
"What?" Rose asked, shocked out of her stupor by the human clone's voice.
"The TARDIS," he gestured toward the blue police box. "She's waiting for you. Always had a bit of a soft spot, really."
Rose turned and looked up at the other Doctor, her mind swirling with questions and possibilities. Slowly, she raised a hand to the human clone's face and cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry," she stated firmly, just as she had to her leather-clad Doctor. She was sorry and she meant it, but if she ran fast enough, she knew she could reach the TARDIS door in time. She knew it. There was no other option.
The Metacrisis Doctor leaned into the warmth of Rose's palm, closing his eyes and enjoying the moment. She was going to leave him and make a dash for the TARDIS. He could feel her urgency, the way her feet and heart already seemed to be running away from him. It was what they did every time they encountered an obstacle that required immediate attention, only this time, she was running alone.
Not alone, really, he reminded himself. After all, he didn't actually expect this gambit to work. The Doctor communicated his plan to him telepathically before they arrived at Dårlig Ulv-Stranden. It was the logical decision. Jackie needed to return to Pete and her son, and you couldn't very well have two Doctors running around the same universe together, much less competing for the affection of one Rose Tyler. Nevertheless, he knew his time was limited. Human anatomy or no, he was a clone, and clone's have firm expiration dates. He wouldn't last more than a couple decades, by his calculations, but that was just long enough to grow the new TARDIS and teach Rose how to fly it.
"He wanted to say it, you know?" the clone exhaled, his eyes opening to observe Rose's face. He felt too Donna at the moment, but maybe that was a good thing. Looking down at his new red trainers, he tried to explain what the other Doctor was thinking.
"Had it all planned out, you see. Reunite with Rose. Tell her you love her. Save the world. Fly away in the TARDIS. He never counted on me showing up. That threw a huge wrench into things, as you can imagine."
Dropping her hand from his face, Rose nodded in understanding. The plan changed and the Doctor adapted. That's what he'd always done. That's how he managed to survive in such a vast, strange universe. Adaptation and denial, sometimes of one's own wants and needs. A lone tear streaked down Rose's cheek as she searched the clone's eyes for confirmation to her questions.
"We were never going to grow old together, were we?"
"No," the clone admitted. "No, I'd say I have roughly twenty years of life left in me, give or take a month or so. All that Noble DNA and half-used regeneration energy. Seems it isn't good for much. No, I'm supposed to grow the TARDIS, give you a lifetime of love – well, my lifetime, anyway."
The Metacrisis let out a long sigh and quietly fiddled with the piece of TARDIS coral in his palm. "Doesn't seem fair, does it?"
"No, not really," Rose confided, her anger rising as she glanced back toward the TARDIS. It was still there, patiently waiting for Rose to make her decision.
"You should go," the other Doctor offered.
"But what about you?" Rose asked as she turned back him. "What will you do?"
"Oh, me? Same ol', same ol'. I've got the TARDIS," he said as he tossed the small piece of coral up in the air and caught it in his hand with a smile. "Besides, maybe in a few years I can take your brother Tony along as my companion. There has to be at least one Tyler on the TARDIS."
Nodding, Rose dashed the tear away from her cheek and smiled back, the tip of her tongue peaking out between her front teeth as she prepared to make a dash for the TARDIS. Turning toward the giant blue police box, she felt the Metacrisis Doctor lean over her shoulder and whisper one more thing inside her ear.
"And by the way, Rose Tyler, 'Run!'"
With that, Rose set off at full sprint for the TARDIS doors, her heart full of the joy of possibility.
A/N: I did some editing to this chapter. After rereading it a couple times, I decided I needed to put greater emphasis on the Doctor's motivation for omitting the truth. Hopefully I accomplished that. The next chapter is currently in the works. It will pick-up during Rose's kiss with TenToo (from the Doctor's perspective) and carry on through returning Donna home. Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them!