Disclaimer: I DarthSylar do not own the main characters of the story or any elements I have used. No one or property is being harmed by this story because all of it is the name of comedy. I own only my OC's and story ideas. Please be not offended as like I said its all in good fun!. Please enjoy and Review.
Rick Rolling Retaliation With K.J Roke!
Guest Starring: Peter Rovira, Joseph Delay, C Won Poi, Jenny Jordan, Olivia Munn and Mystery Guest
Ten Thousand Years Into the Present
On a door step in normal land, Georgia, lies a baby warped in colth. It was girl baby. Butt this girl baby was different, special, magical. This girl baby was a Young Jenny Jordan. Form a young age Jenny was skilled with magic. When see were eleven she was invited to go Hoswargs. There see was a Gryfedon like Harry Potter, Hermoney Granger and that red head kid, Ralph. Whales there see showed dat see could do things that no one could actually do. See could use more that three wands at once and could make power postions in her sleep walks. Hermoney got depressed by dis and jumped off the castle in too the unicorn fields where she was impailed on the unipony here parents bought her, on the day they died, in front of her twin sister, who was retarded and then walked into a dragon and deaded.
But while at Hoswargs Jenny Jordan realized dat good magic was stupid and then made decision that she would become the greatest Dark Wizard, like her father, Doubledoor, creater of da Homo Gendaria reversus cures, more commonly known as the gay curse. She used dark magic and forbidden spells to turn Hoswargs into her personal fortress where she killed Harry Potter and drank jamba juice form his skull and keeps da read head kid, Ralph as her personal pleasure slav. She then read the prophecy and leaned what to do. She must find the truest of dark masters and the only ways to dis is too help the chosen one defeat the great evil and then follow the one who kills the Lee. From dare the road to the ruining of the muggal world will be as she wants.
This only bare some relation to the plot. But not much. Now the continuation of the alliterative adventures of K.J Roke
Part One: Retaliatory Strike!
Lunch Time in the not so distant Past
K.J Roke had once more gather team to help him in his war against da Lee. There were three dead and two final Lee to go. The Next Lee was no other than James Kyson Lee, The actor who portrays Ando on the television show Hereos. (Returning for season 4 on September 21 on NBC) And he has got to kill 'em all before their BasterdLEE plan to end the American Revolution is complete.K.J had gained a knew new Girl Friend. He had da chance to save the soul of the Megan Foxcycle by an offer from the devil. But he declined because he is hiro and no hiro would ever make such a stupid idea as make deals with the devil, unless it is save their Aunt's but in that is it wrong. But I digress, K.J Roke choose new battle girl friend, she was powerful warlord of ancient land, and the host of Attack of the Show, Olivia Munn.
But K.J Roke needed two more members for his gaang. He checked the character list and realized that only one person remained. He would have to settle with having Peter Rovira join the tim. Peter Rovira was helping because his rocket ship that would take him and Ruby whats her name across the universe to populate it with humen speices, was out of gas. So he had time kill people with K.J Roke. But K.J Roke Still neded one moore person. So K.J went to the coliseum in Ancient Rome where the people were watching the mighty adventures of K.J on da giant HD Tivo. K.J came out into da stadium and asked in loud voice of the ancients.
"Are not entertained! Who here dares to be un-entertained! Once more I ask Are not entertained."
"No!" Shouted a voice coming from a helicopter mystery guest above the coleisium. "Tell a joke!"
"A baby's skull is crushed by elephant being ridden by it mother! Are you still not entertained."
"Still not! Do a dance!" And thusly K.J Roke begans to break da dance and whip out funky fresh moves that were smoothe as vanillia ice to the song Waking Up in vegas by Katty Perry.
"Are still not Entertained!" Asked K.J Roke with evil madness.
"I'm Now quite satisfied. I will join your Cause K.J Roke and will destroy the Lee. If my name is not Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire!" With the tim now ass embeled. They made their war to the next Lee who was in happiest on earth….Sweden!
Part Two: Swede Slaughter!
The continent of Sweden was hot like the desert and cold like the rockies and had no one living there except platypus's and prostitutes for said platypus's. K.J Roke knew dat he had to do the fightins and thusly they all rode on motorcycles except for Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire, for he rode in helicopter of death!
When Suddenly! Ass they rode around they were soon surrounded by the Evil Lee's motorcycle ridding henchmen, the fearsome frog fuckers of Finland. They wielded weapons made of Vikings and were enhanced dark magic. The source of the dark magic, was the Dark Wizard Jenny Jordan who wielded a thousand wand swords made of rainbow fire with unicorn-dragon cores and fired Lazrs, Lasers with a Z! She also brought her apprentice C Won Poi the annihilator. Who has the strength of a million Gegis Incredible Hulk Khans.
"K.J Roke I we would meets again. And as you said you are da fat one now! Now my motorcycle ridding henchemen! Kill Dem For! Honor of Greyskull." And with that the battle was beginning. Peter was using a rocket gun that fired out the concentrated songs of the Beatles that were capable of turning ordinary man into hippie and hippie into single celled ameba. Olivia Munn wielded Twelve Double bladed light sabers. Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire, used the mini-me guns that fired flaming mini-mes at the enemies! K.J Roke used his expensive knowledge of Gun Kata and duel wielded two Thomson Sub Mini-Machine guns. And da battles began. The gun fights and the explosions fill da screen and the sword fights were epic with matrix moves and super powers and everything was in slow motion while ominous latin heavy metal chanting played backwords in the barkground. Peter Rovira kicked C Won Poi in the balls so hard that it cut in half. It was totally hard core!
K.J Roke and the Dark Wizard Jenny Jordan were fighting in slower motion than everyone else.
"You cannut defeat K.J Roke I was trained in your jedi arts by Obi Wan Kenobi."
"Well I trained the man who one Kenobi. My father!" K.J then ripped whole in Space Time and then Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire, Used his rockets kicks to
kicked Jenny Jordan into da space time hole dat lead to the land of sunshine rainbow bright monkeys, just as see planned.
"God job Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire! We should get drunk after this think is over."
Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire still in his helicopter says "We should totally do dat. I know the location of good bar." He said with echos as a rocket missile hit his helicopter causing to fall space and explode into new big bang, killing Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire!
"! !" Shouted K.J Roke with sads because now he will know the location of da good bar!
K.J Roke locks at the Evil Lee's deadquaters and saw the rocket launcher and saw the evil Lee at da controls. K.J Roke stood up tall like Grizzly Man and shouted.
"All right Lee, you killed my parents, you killed my girlfriends but now you have gone too far. I gunning for you. Because this four Mike!"
Part Three: This is Four Mike!
Peter Rovira had to leave, so he flew off into the spaceness and join Ruby in repopulating the universe. K.J Roke grabbed his two ninja blades and ran like ninja to give the bad guys a ninja fight to the end of each others life. He fought with guns and dogged knifes in order to take his retailiation for the death of Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire! Ones in side the evil doom fortress of the third lee. K.J started the shouting.
"Next Lee, I am hear to kill. Now come an like a woman or I will feed you eyes to a ravenous wolverine.!"
"I hate to disappoint you K. Jizzel Roke but I am unstoppable!" said James Kyson Lee, The actor who portrays Ando on the television show Hereos. (Buy season three on DVD, And burn it, Cause season three sucked.) Now he uses his rainbow colored lightning powers too shoot at K.J Roke.
K.J Roke used Crouching Tiger moves too jump fly into da sky and had epic kung fu battle. But James Kyson Lee, The actor who portrays Ando on the television show Hereos. (Watch Re-run on September 22 on G4) Eventually K.J Roke is trapped under the debris of the empire state building which the evil lee blew up as part of their plan to use the earth as a time machine. K.J looked up in the building and shooted.
"You blew it up. You bastards! I'll kill you. How could do this. Miiiiikkkkkkkkeeeeeeee! Wky! He knew good bar."
"Good Bar!" echoed the ghost of Mike Valesko, helicopter hitman for hire!
"You will never stop the evil Lee. We have been planning this plan now for years. It too late. Far too late for now anyway to stop up just give up puny man." James Kyson Lee, The actor who portrays Ando on the television show Hereos. (Writers needed, this show is old good ideas.)
K.J Roke stars down at the ground and then locks real up fast to see the Evil Lee and yelled with evil samadness. "I am no man! Don't you know who I am! I'm the goddamn Batman!" shouted K.J ROke as he used his laser eyes to melt of the Evil lee's face and then ripped off his head and slam dunked it back into his body causing him to explode into a rip in space time.
"K.J you stopped the third evil lee now we can married and move to Africa like we always wanted too." Said K.J girlfriend Olivia Munn in sexy pose. K.J Roke had come to a logical decision. Since he didn't want to put her in any more danger that she could easy handle and his crippling commitment phobia, K.J Roke did the only logical think. He snapped her neck in half and set her on fire. "Olivia Munn, you beautiful soul. It is not you. It is my enemies. They could kill and would never let have that pleasure. See you purgatory." K.J was just aboot to go forth and find a new tim to help him fight the last Lee.
When Suddenly from out the blackness came an army of Swat dudes with laser guns pointed at him.
"K.J Roke you are under arrest for crimes against reality! BY order of the Time Police surrender and die!" said a dark mysterous voice.
"Show yourself you coward. And face me like the goddamn Batman!" Then a space door opened up and out came a familiar, tall, dark man who said.
"I am here now! Now prep air too die K. Jizzle Roke!" said Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster! To Be Continued!