A/N: tumblr prompt from magiciantactician2000: AkuRoku, things you said I wasn't meant to hear. This fic is going to HURT YOU. (Please, tell me how much it hurts, I love causing my readers pain)
On the other end
Roxas breathed in a sigh as he walked through his apartment door, letting the cool air wash over him. It was, arguably, the hottest day of the summer, and the air conditioning at his work had, of course, chosen that day to break down. He couldn't complain, though: it meant he got an early day. He was looking forward to surprising Axel, who worked from home.
He could hear Axel's voice filtering out from the other room, on a business call.
"Look, Saix, I know Xigbar is ruthless, and yeah, he gets the job done, but he does shit for clean-up. Me, I do the job and I take care of the mess on my own. You won't have to hire anyone extra." There was a pause, Axel listening to the other end of the call. When he spoke again, his voice was more subdued. "Yeah. I got it. Cut and dry." Pause. "No fires this time, fine. Vexen was a special case though, you know that."
Roxas paused. Something about the name Vexen tugged at his memory.
"Seriously? What's the hurry? You know I like to do a little research first. Yeah? Fine. The Superior wants them taken out, I'll take them out. Yeah, I see it."
Axel's back was to Roxas as he entered the room, gesturing in that animated way of his, despite the person on the other side of the line being unable to see him. It made Roxas smile, just a little.
Axel was silent for a moment. "Saix. You know this guy is like the second in command at Oblivion Enterprises, right? They're going to notice if he disappears. I hope you have a good cover story." Axel tapped at his laptop, enlarging a set of photos in succession. The timbre of his voice lowered. "Yeah. He'll be gone before the week is out. I'll tell Roxas there's a seminar or something." Pause. "Fuck, Saix, of course he doesn't know. It's a liability. Remember Xion?" A pause. "Yeah, exactly."
Roxas froze, eyes narrowing as he processed this. Of course he'd only heard one side of the conversation, and out of context at that. But even out of context, the last part of the conversation implied that Axel was lying to him about something.
"Sure. I'll call you when it's done." Axel snapped the phone closed—since when did he own a flip-phone?—and dropped it the desk, before standing and turning. His eyes widened when he saw Roxas standing in the doorway. "Roxas! You're home early." The movement was quick and subtle, but Axel had moved in front of his laptop, blocking Roxas's view of it.
"The AC broke at work." Roxas's voice was clipped, anger bitten back with effort.
Axel noticed, or maybe he noticed the tension in Roxas's shoulders, or maybe it was all of it together. He'd always seemed to be good at reading Roxas. "How much did you hear, Roxas?" There was an edge to his voice that Roxas hadn't heard before.
"I heard enough."
Axel reached behind his back to close his laptop, before advancing on Roxas, fast and fluid and predatory. He braced a hand against the wall, towering over Roxas. Threatening, in a way that Roxas wasn't used to. "Roxas. Tell me exactly what you heard."
The glint in Axel's eyes sent a shiver down Roxas's spine, but he forged on. "I heard what matters. You're going to tell me that there's a 'seminar or something?' That there's something you aren't telling me, that I'm a liability?" His voice rose as he continued. "Who's Xion, Axel? Who's Saix?"
Axel relaxed, suddenly, running a hand through his hair. "Look, Rox. Okay?" He took a deep breath. "I work for the government. I told you before. It's just, there's a lot of confidential, need-to-know, stuff, right?"
Roxas wasn't sure he bought it. "Like what? What kind of job do you have, Axel?"
The phone on the desk rang, and Axel's eyes narrowed. He backed up to the desk to retrieve it, still watching Roxas. Roxas only crossed his arms as Axel answered the phone. "Yeah? No. Look, I can't talk right now. Something came up." Pause. "Fine. Bye." He let the phone drop back onto the desk. "Don't press the issue, Rox," he said, and his voice had that edge to it again.
Roxas met his gaze with a challenging stare of of his own, but Axel didn't flinch. In the end, Roxas looked away first. "Fine. I won't." He spun on his heel, collected his keys, and left.
He tried to forget the look on Axel's face, the dangerous one, and then, the flicker of something else, something raw, when Roxas stormed out, but it wasn't something he could just shrug off. He parked outside of the Usual Spot, trying to gather his thoughts.
Maybe he should just let it go. Then again, that wasn't Roxas's strong point.
Olette knew with just a look. "You had a fight with Axel, didn't you?" But Roxas shrugged it off. If Axel had been alarmed he'd overheard something, then sharing it would make the man livid.
Axel, angry, was a rare thing, he realized.
He focused instead on the game of darts with Hayner, Pence, and Olette. The quiet concentration it required was soothing, and while he couldn't forget the conversation he'd just heard, he was at least calm enough to go back to the apartment after a few rounds. It was enough to get him through the night without confronting Axel when they were both hot-headed.
It was dark when he returned to the apartment for the second time. Axel was there, quiet, the TV flickering in front of him, and he turned when Roxas came through the door, his face neutral. Seeing Roxas calmer now, he nodded, and patted the seat next to him on the sofa.
They acted as if nothing had happened, almost. Almost, because when Axel inevitably turned to Roxas, his touches were hot and fervent. Roxas would think, later, that Axel had been more affectionate than usual, and not in the post-argument kind of way.
It felt, to Roxas, that it was the kind of lovemaking one did before saying good bye. He wasn't sure if that was more frightening than the look Axel had given Roxas as he'd cornered him and asked How much did you hear? It was a different kind of scary.
Still, Roxas couldn't stop wondering what had made Axel show him that expression.
He waited. Perhaps a week, maybe more, and Axel might believe Roxas had moved on, and then Roxas began digging.
There wasn't much to find. Axel had never been careless, never left the laptop or his phone out in the open, never did 'work' when he and Roxas were together.
But Roxas had names, at least, and he could navigate an internet search.
The name Saix was a dead end, and Xion too common of a name to make any headway, even in relation to Axel or Saix. Vexen, on the other hand…
Roxas found a series of news articles on a man, a chemist who'd died in a fire in his home. It had been ruled an accident, originating from his home lab, probably from a chemical spill, though his assistant had argued that the man would never be so careless.
Reading through the findings sent a chill through Roxas. Hadn't Axel said something about fire, in the same breath as the name Vexen? Roxas shook his head and closed the browser. Axel had said he worked for the government, though Roxas wasn't sure he believed that. Even if he did, that meant a life of secrecy. Of lies. Roxas had a bad history with people who lied to him.
But what was he supposed to do next? Did he hire a private investigator? Did he simply leave?
The thought of leaving Axel on such insubstantial evidence was ridiculous.
Axel had always been good at reading Roxas.
And maybe Roxas was bad at reading Axel. Or maybe Axel was just that good at acting, but Roxas didn't expect the strong arms that wrapped around him to feel confining, nor did he expect the prick of the needle piercing his skin, sending him spiraling down into darkness.
o - o
He was cold. Roxas noticed this before he even opened his eyes, because his lids were heavy, and for the moment it seemed better to keep them closed. He swam up towards consciousness slowly, as if through dark, viscous liquid, his limbs clumsy and non compliant.
It was the sense of wrongness of the situation that startled him to full awareness.
Roxas couldn't move. He could open his eyes, but he couldn't move, couldn't feel anything but the cold, and that alone set his heart racing. He could only see the ceiling above him, as nondescript as any ceiling is, in low lighting.
"You're awake." It was Axel's voice, unmistakable, even if the low tone was one he didn't hear often.
Roxas wanted to demand an explanation, but found that the words never made it to his mouth.
Axel gave it to him, anyway. "It's a paralytic drug. You won't be able to move." There was warmth as Axel sat down next to Roxas, the red of his hair blurring in a halo around his face. "I'm sorry, Roxas." Roxas felt a gentle pull at his scalp, Axel carding through his hair. There was a rawness in Axel's eyes, the same rawness Roxas had seen the night he'd overhead the phone call.
Roxas's heart tried to escape his chest, climbing up his throat and sending fire through his veins. And still he couldn't move.
"You were never meant to hear that conversation, you know? And then you couldn't just leave it. I hoped you would, but I should've known better." A sigh. "I should've left before we got too close." Axel closed his eyes. "But I fell in love." Green eyes fluttered open, wide. "You hear me, Rox? I love you."
Something cold and metal pressed against Roxas's bare skin, and Roxas wondered how his chest hadn't exploded from the erratic beat of his heart.
Axel leaned down and pressed his lips to Roxas's forehead. "I love you!" Warm, wet drops fell on Roxas's face, and that was the last thing he felt before the breath left him in a rush, a silent scream of anguish. It was hot, and cold, and numbing, and his heartbeat was racing, until it wasn't, and he thought vaguely that at least his chest wouldn't explode, after all, and wouldn't it be nice if he didn't have a heart at all, because Axel made his chest hurt, so, so much, and maybe that was because he loved Axel, too.
And wouldn't Axel be lonely, if Roxas left him?
Darkness stole across Roxas's vision, but it was soothing, and he let himself slip away in it.
o - o
Axel sucked in a shaking breath and pressed a gloved finger to Roxas's neck, feeling for a pulse. When he was satisfied, he set to work.
Because it was work. It was always work, and always would be work, until the day he died.
Another glance at Roxas's lifeless face, the last one he would allow himself, and for the first time, Axel hoped that day would come sooner, rather than later.