I know I'm late but I just discovered this game and I'm knees deep into this fandom so I had to write a little something. I love all these kids, dear god, they need some help.
The problem is that they don't talk about it, afterwards.
Though in a sense they do. They talk a lot, to the paramedics, to the police (many times over) and even to their parents. But if nobody listens to you, it's easy to stop speaking.
They just never really talk about it with each other.
Like as if somehow, not mentioning that night makes it any less real. Maybe if they pretend nothing ever happened, none of them went up that fucking mountain in the first place, they can just let it pass them by. Forget what they saw up there.
Make it go away.
Maybe if they just pretend Josh never invited them back at all it could be ok.
And he's gone now, isn't he? Poor ol' Joshua.
He's gone, swallowed up by that endless night, stretching out, hour after hour until dawn and they all got out alive except him so it's not like they can complain.
They made it, they're alive, and Joshua isn't.
(They all know better but they're not dwelling on that right now.)
And they're fine. They're more than fine. They're unscathed.
Except for the scars and the nightmares and the way they'll never be the same any more. Except for how Chris still limps and Jess gets panic attacks in the dark and Sam gave up on climbing and Mike's hand- Mike's fucking fingers.
But they're fine.
It makes no sense for them to be anything but fine, right?
Nobody knows who suggested it. Maybe it was a team effort, a hesitant question here and a begrudging answer there, somebody calling somebody else, and before she knows it Sam is on that damn bus again.
She tugs at her jacket, at the layers of clothing she's wearing and it's too warm, stuffy. But it's so much better than being too cold.
(Baths haven't been her forte after that. Scathing hot showers are Sam's new best friend.)
There's nobody on the bus with her, she wonders if they're already there. More likely, she'll be the first to arrive. None of them were too keen on going back there at all, none of them wanted this.
But they have to do this more than anything.
She gets off and it hits her. Something aching and deep, something she never felt was possible.
Sam missed this place.
The snow reaches up to her ankles and there's a bag just sitting on the bench outside the cable cart station. The sheer sight of it is enough to give her an uncanny feeling of deja-vu.
Except the building is older now than it used to be, caved in and spray painted with graffiti. The cart isn't there.
Sam wonders who took it up the mountain and why they haven't come back down.
Maybe it's better if she doesn't.
It's Chris who arrived before her. Of course it is.
He tells her the rifle isn't there anymore, in the kind of hushed conspiratorial tone that could mean anything as he twirls his cane with practiced ease.
"I figured." Sam says, though she doesn't know why.
They stand around in awkward silence for a bit, neither asking if the other is ok because that means they would have to lie.
Sam knows Josh and Chris were best friends.
"Where's Ashley?" She bursts out instead, maybe a worse question still but Chris kind of nods and shakes his head.
"Yeah, no, she uh- No, she's coming. She's on her way. For sure."
He winces and leans on the handle. It burrows into the snow when he shifts his weight on it and Sam rubs her elbows, looking away for some reason.
"I just thought she might be coming with you. Together."
She didn't mean to make it sound as hopeful as she did, almost desperate, but after what happened at the lodge she really thought they'd be hooked up by now.
If not one slightly good thing comes out of that hellish February night Sam is going to shoot herself in the face.
"Oh." Chris says, as if he just found a lost penny, then frowns. "Oh- uhm, yeah, maybe. We don't, we don't know."
Sam nods, her breathe comes out in moist clouds of air that remind her of Hannah, with razor sharp incisors inches from her face and the stink of human flesh on her tongue.
Two years since Hannah and Beth died. Except Hannah didn't, did she?
One year since Josh. He didn't either.
Maybe third time's the charm.
Mike and Jess do come together and that alone is enough to make Sam sigh in relieve, finally some normalcy restored to this world.
They're holding hands, Jessica's fingers curled around Mike's remaining ones and it's fine. It's all fine.
Sam isn't freaking out yet.
They exchange pleasantries, as if it's just another normal winter day and not like they're here, at the base of the mountain. The scene of all their most recent nightmares, Sam knows.
She wonders if any of them even had a full night sleep since that day.
"It's freezing out here." Jess complains, pulling her scarf almost up to her eyes and there's something there. Something incredibly distant that makes Sam feel sad.
Jessica knows cold better than any of them now.
Mike has one hand resting lightly on her waist, the ruined one Sam notices, and tries his best to smile. It's not as convincing as he probably hopes it is, but it's a better effort than any of the rest attempt to stir up.
There's a scar straight across his cheek that Sam never thought to question before and when they lock eyes he smiles for real, one corner of his mouth pulling up into his old smirk.
Almost like it used to be, but infinitely more tired.
"You doing okay, Sam?" He asks, and in that moment it's like they could hear a needle drop. Like everybody is waiting for her to either make it or break it and she feels like she will just end up puking all over the snow instead.
"I'm managing."
The wind whistles through the trees, eerily similar to some kind of far off screech they don't mention anymore and she shivers. Mike nods approvingly.
Maybe they're all just managing.
The others arrive soon.
It goes to figure Emily would be fashionably late and she look around her in what can only be described as distaste.
"Let's just do what we came here to do so we can get out of this hellhole."
Matt hums in response, kind of lingering at the edge of the group as if he doesn't belong there. Sam knows it's different for him. It wasn't the same experience for any of them really, but for Matt it was different and maybe he never figured out if he should be relieved or guilty for it.
Emily and him never did fix things up either.
"Right." Sam says, because if she won't, nobody else will and she's not sure exactly how or when she has become the leader of their little broken assemble but the sun is setting now, dark shadows stretching just beyond the pine trees and they don't need to be here when night falls.
They don't want to be here.
"Did you bring the things?" She turns to Ashley, who puts her backpack on the ground silently, struggling with the zipper because her hands are shaking.
She can't quite get it open so Chris bends down to help her, they exchange some words quietly under their breathe and when Ashley gets up again her eyes seem kind of moist.
Sam doesn't know if she can deal with this right now.
It's incredibly sad, how the few remaining items they have from the Washington siblings fit perfectly into a zip locked plastic bag. A stray notebook, a hair tie, Beth's favorite CD.
Relics from a time none of them can retrieve.
It's been a year. Sam is pretty sure they've collected them all.
They fall into the snow heavily, with an audible thud that just feels dull. Like it doesn't have enough weight to it.
This can't be all they have left.
Mike uses the lighter he always carries with him, the same one he used that night and if that isn't fucking symbolic or something Sam doesn't know what is.
It smells disgusting. Probably because of the plastic, and the fire doesn't really have a chance to thrive with the snow and the wind but Matt has brought enough lighter fluid to remedy that.
They don't need actual flames. Just enough to erase the few memories that remain.
A smoldering pile of knick-knacks from a family that isn't quite gone, but far beyond anyone's reach.
The make-shift offering radiates heat though, Sam can feel it on her face and it scratches along her back, burn marks that have long healed from a lodge blazed to the ground. From something in the air more than just ash and timber.
More than anything they need this to be over.
Matt retreats quietly, placing one hand on Jessica's shoulder before he leaves and for the first time that evening she smiles, fragile and real and maybe they too know things Sam doesn't.
Ashley and Chris leave together, shoulders pushed against each other to brace the cold.
Emily stays, her eyes distant and pained and she scoffs before she goes, hands buried down her pockets and Sam watches her back until it disappears into the dark.
It has started snowing and she didn't even notice.
Mike puts a hand on her shoulder and she startles. The sun is well and truly gone now, the temperature dropped steadily below zero, their little campfire reduced to barely embers that glow red. Jess has already gone to the car.
"We shouldn't stay here." He says.
"We shouldn't." Sam agrees, but doesn't move.
"Come on." Mike insists, one hand brushing the snow off her hair and he looks at her as if she's broken. As if they're all a little broken. "We'll give you a ride."
Creatures up the mountain screech, not quite human but just similar enough to make them turn their heads and the wind whips their faces relentlessly. Something going bump in the night.
They won't come back next year.
Tumblr: sharada-n
feel free to send me Until Dawn prompts btw