Disclaimer: I DarthSylar do not own the main characters of the story or any elements I have used. No one or property is being harmed by this story because all of it is the name of comedy. I own only my OC's and story ideas. Please be not offended as like I said its all in good fun!. Please enjoy and Review.
Daniel Grant Christen in
Time Crisis 3: The War across Space Time!
Starring, Peter Rovira, Cullen Patrick Eden, Marcu Herrea, Josh Culver, Liz Richardson, Irmani Chopin, Hunter Stevens, Nicholas Anthony Nagher, Rily Brandon, Grant's Dad, Colin's Dad, Peter's Dad, Mr. Roke, Fredrick Anthony Nagher, God, The Devil, K.J Roke, Jenny Jordan, Ruby whats-her-name and guest starring Ken Jennings and Christoph Z-Man
Prologue: The events that precede the story
The Universe in Peril it is. Flaming Rainbow Dragon Unicorn Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher in space gathering powers to bring forth the ends of reality and Daniel Grant Chriten was un-borned and he was the chosen one. Da crew minus Daniel Grant Christen was watching Flaming Rainbow Dragon Unicorn Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher from the Space Station Base form as I.R.M.A.N.I C.H.O.P.I.N helplessly as they saws him absorb his many alternate forms from teeh alternate universes. They knew they had to go back in time and reborn Daniel Grant Christen show that he can fulfills prophesii and sawves the worlds. But they were sad because they had knows ways to time travel.
When suddenly in a bursting cloud of fire and smoke and sponge and olive oil came forth the tall dark man.
"It Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster!" shouted da gang in unison
"Its Gangsta Crew minus D.G.C!" and with him appeared MC Slaggin the M.C Dragon who can travel through dimensions riding on a floating ass. "What happens to D G C." Then Marcus says
"Fuck Banana."
"I see. This situation is in dead dire." Said Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster
"Wes needs tos gos backs ins times tos reborns Daniel Grant Christian!" said Hunter Chapel Stevens who was riding the great white shark whale squid of Atari seven, destroyer of worlds.
"I ain't that easy." Sayed a mysterious voice. From out the shadows emerge, Quinquam of Navaho, Daniel Grant Christian's Native America Indian slave. "The Master Daniel Grant Christian left specific instructions in these circumstances." He then played the blu ray disk in the X-box 180.
"I have been Un-borned." Said video version of Daniel Grant Christian in cold tone of extremeness. "This is how you reborned me. First go back to WW2 and find my father he holds the Key to my reborndom. Then in the present go china and grab the ancient egg of the apostles. And finally defeat the Presidents of Mount Rushmore and loot their bodies of their silver. That is what must be done."
"Shit Burgers" said Marcus
"He is right, good plan" says Peter "We will split up in two groups. Marcus, Ruby, Colin and I will go back in time and find Grants Dad with Slickback the time traveling Gangster…
"Its Gangsta." Corrected Slickback the time traveling Gangster.
"As I was saying. Then Josh, Jenny, K. J and MC Slaggin the M.C Dragon who can travel through dimensions will go to china. While I.R.M.A.N.I C.H.O.P.I.N and Liz "Lizard" Richardson, Christian da choopa and Hunter Chapel Stevens will distract the Presidents until we get there. That is what we will do!" He tried to say in an epic tone of epicness but only epically failed.
Meanwhile 25,000 years in the future. The earth had been raped and was now ruled by mutant kittens. Who were bent on world domination. But they knew that Da crew was going to try to stop this so they sent back the Rily Brandon Terminator to kill Daniel Grant Christian's dad to prevents their doom.
"What is your mission" said Prince Mittens High Lord of Kitten Empire of the Rising Sun.
"Domo Arigato Kill Daniel Grant Christian's father Mr. Roboto Domo." Said Rily Brandon Terminator.
"Very well then. Soon no one will stop the Kitten Empire of the Rising Sun." Said Prince Mittens High Lord of Kitten Empire of the Rising Sun as Rily Brandon Terminator went on the train back in time.
Part One- Revelations of origins!
Peter Rovira, Cullen Eden, Marcus and Ruby and Slickback the Time Traveling Gangster were floating through time where Marcus asked
"Cock Fist Fuck?"
"Aw good question!" said Slickback the time traveling gangster. "It was the 70's when I became Slickback the Time Traveling Gangsta. I was once two people. First I was Erwin McQuin famed white Temporal Physicist who figured out to tenth numeral the Quantum Solace. I was working of an experiment to find the Quintessence of Circumference. When suddenly, my other half Zach Thomson professional black hood who was pissing on the electrical cables on my experiment to get high off them. When the machine activated our DNA fused together to become the Time Traveling individual before you. Half scientist, half black. A match made by a madman."
They arrived in WW2 France and went in search of Grant's father. So was Rily Brandon Terminator who had blended in perfectly with the WW2. Grant's father was in a bar talking to Jenny's mom.
"Lets have sex, hips." He said with confidence. "Today is last day before I'm shipped off, babe! So let's get to the sex." He said as he smacked her through a window. He then turned to the bar stool sample next too him and saw nekked Rily Brandon Terminator. "I'm getting you drunk and then have my way with you."
"Domo Arigato You Grant's Father Mr. Roboto Domo." Said Rily Brandon Terminator.
"Barkeep! I want Infants shaken not dashed across the rocks. And some chloroform and paint fumes for the lady. For it is my intention to have my way with her."
Just Then a huge explosion ripped open the bar, but Grant's dad don't care.
"Must You always enter like that Fredrick Anthony Nagher father of Nicholas Anthony Nagher." Said Grant's Dad.
"Grant's Dad we have a lead on Where Hitler is and apparently he is up to some kind of evil. We, the good guys, must stops him."
"Can't you see I'm in the middle of a date rape." Said Grant's dad
"Domo Arigato Must Kill Grant's dad Mr. Roboto Domo." Said Rily Brandon Terminator.
"Irregardless, we need to fly on the mountain fortress tonight."
Meanwhile our heroes arrive in the past.
"Shit sucker." Said Marcus
"France, WW21" said Colin
"We need to get to Hitler's fortress mountain now, that is where Grant's Father will be." Said Peter Rovira. So then Ruby turns into a train and Peter rides her all night long, while everyone else bikes to the fortress.
At this Moment Grant's Dad and Nicholas Anthony Nagher's dad are having fun time fighting against the zombie Nazis in Hitler's evil moon mountain mammoth while riding flaming Muslim motorcycles that don't explode because there are no suicide bombers. The gang then arrives and meets with Grant's and Nicholas Anthony Nagher's dads and they introduced each other as they walked into the science room. There they saw Hitler's brain in a jar and a T-Rex. And then there was Albert Einstein who was about to speak.
"I will combine Hitler and this T-Rex to give him the ultimate powers." Just then Peter and Ruby came and fell out of the sky with Christoph Z-Man crushing the Albert Einstein into the deadness of Space. But it was too Late Hitler Rex was made.
"Now I will go to New York City New York and do the things to brings my master and destroys the worlds."
"Not this time Hitler Rex" Said Daniel Grant Christian's dad as he jumped in the air duel wielding Chain gun pistols that force Hitler Rex into the rocket space ship and then he tarped him in there and sent him off into the rocket space. His last words were
"I will return and bring the ends of the world."
Just then Rily Brandon Terminator turned her arms into Jackie Chans and was attacking Grant's Dad
"Domo Arigato Kill Grant's Dad Mr. Roboto Domo" , when Fredrick Anthony Nagher said to him.
"This is the only was to stop it."
"But you will die too." Said Grant's dad with no emotion what so ever.
"Tell my son who will now grow up without a moral compass and father to do good and save the world from the evil things." Then he pelvic thruster a hole in the space time continuum that sucked him and the Rily Brandon Terminator in killing them both forever and ever. The Rily Brandon Terminator's last words were
"Domo Arigato Fuck You Nicholas Anthony Nagher's father Mr. Roboto Domo"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I have no care that that guy just kyled himself to save me because I am a jerk."
"Give us the key to saving the universe."
"Here you go!" and he gave them a key to a ford model T. Da Gang then went back to the present having completed part one of them quest.
Back in the past Grant's Dad then picked up baby Nicholas Anthony Nagher and not being able to have any emotional caring for anything he threw him into the hole in the space time continuum where he plotted his revenge on all reality.
Part Two: The Asian Adventure!
Meanwhile in China, Josh Culver, Jenny Jordan, Mc Slaggin the M.C Dragon who can travel through dimensions and K.J Roke were standing outside of the ancient Chinese temple that holds the ancient egg of the apostles.
When suddenly in flash of lightening and fish came forth David Blaine.
"Josh Culver, I am here for revenge for you trapping me in a sphere of ice."
"You did that you're self." Said Josh surfing on pyramids of Giza in lava.
"Irregardless I will kyle you for that." Josh was about to fight him, when Jenny Jordan stood up to challenge him.
"You guys go inside. I'll deal with him." And everyone else went into the temple. Jenny once more duel wielded wands with phoenix cores and case all the unforgivable curse, but she was not against the rules….because she had killed all the other wizards in the world including Harry Potter whose skull she wear around her neck. But David Blaine was not dead yet. So she stabbed him with sharp rock until he was dead and then ate the candy of courage that fell out.
Meanwhile in the Chinese Temple that holds the ancient egg of the apostles. The team had come to the Ninja Warrior obstacle course. Josh Culver came up with a clever way to get around the obstacles. He lifted the ground the course was on and flipped it right round and walked across.
And there standing before them was the Ancient egg of the apostles. But there was one final challenge between them and their victory.
Bruce Lee wielding two katana made of pandas which were on fire I mind you and challenge on of them two a duel. Christoph Z-Man desired to fight but K.J Roke for the first time ever, did something.
"I'll fight this loser." He said as his left arm grew to its normal length.
"I knows you." Said Bruce Lee. I fight your father in Japan. We were flying our war dragons. He then threw me into the sun and a slammed dunk a nuke into the Emperor's face, turning him into a kitten. In anger mad I killed you mother, burned your country. Threw your sister into the ocean and replaced your left arm with an arm from a Barbie doll. Now I will kill and live up not only to my family name but also to full life consequences." He said with laughter and evil mad.
"You die now, Punk." Said K.J Roke as Bruce Lee charged at him. But K.J used his laser eyes to burn Bruce Lee and then K.J Roke used the force to throw him into the Mount Everest volcano.
Hooray now we have the Ancient Egg of the Apostles.
Part Three: Resurrection and Destruction
Meanwhile in space, Flaming Exploding Detroyerdrone Rainbow kaleidoscope spectrum dark demon Dragon Orc Whale Unicorn Gravy Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher had absorbed all of the power he can.
Just then Grey Michael Jackson, fresh from destroying Detroit, flew up into space. Then the Devil and God teleported next to him. The God and the Devil say in unison.
"You! Flaming Exploding Detroyerdrone Rainbow kaleidoscope spectrum dark demon Dragon Orc Whale Unicorn Gravy Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher! This is where it ends. We are going to end you for good and evil." And with that they combined together inside Grey Michael Jackson to create…Ken Jennings Jeopardy Champion. He flies at Flaming Exploding Detroyerdrone Rainbow kaleidoscope spectrum dark demon Dragon Orc Whale Unicorn Gravy Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher but Flaming Exploding Detroyerdrone Rainbow kaleidoscope spectrum dark demon Dragon Orc Whale Unicorn Gravy Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher is too fast. Then Flaming Exploding Detroyerdrone Rainbow kaleidoscope spectrum dark demon Dragon Orc Whale Unicorn Gravy Form Nicholas Anthony Nagher stabs him and absorbs the powers of God and the Devil and makes a final transformation into a much darker most powerful being.
Meanwhile the whole gang had assembled in front of the Fore fathers. This was the fight to end all battles. Peter and Ruby combined…for five minutes and then Peter turned into an army of dwarfs that used rocket launchers that fired explosions like ten times of the sun. Ruby turned into Optimus Prime and rode on top of sea monster. Marcus was driving a robot made out of South America that fired out missiles and pirates. Colin turned into a giant robot bear that had 2,000 chain guns that fired not bullets, not rockets, not even Jamaicans…but Jesus (plural) Josh Culver used a giant snake that fired rockets and was made of fire and shot lasers from their ideas. Hunter Stevens put on the Armor of the Lord and used all the godly powers to conquer the angles and fight with him. Liz "Lizard" Richardson turned into a dinosaur. And I.R.M.A.N.I C.H.O.P.I.N turned out of a robot and transformed into Mike Tyson. K.J Roke had nun chucks.
The battle was raging against the Presidents. It was waged for twenty years. When all but one, Abraham Lincoln, were destroyed he summoned together his fallen comrades to become one super prez.
"A house divided will fall, united we stand against the forces of goodness." Said the super prez.
Just then Slickback the time traveling gangster and Mc Slaggin the M.C Dragon who can travel through dimensions combined to form Slapfist the space time manipulating pimp.
"Now we ends this ones and for alls." Slapfist the space time manipulating pimp.
"Ha! I cannot be killed by any man." Said super prez
"I'm no man. I! Am! Pimp!" said Slapfist the space time manipulating pimp.
"Pimp Kick." And with that He kicked a hole in the space time continuum in the crotch of the super prez. This reacted with silver, the ancient egg of apostles was then opened by the key. And from out of the hole in the space time came forth the Chosen One…Daniel Grant Christen.
When suddenly the god man fell to earth riding on a laser from space with thunders and lightning's flashing and left a dent in the earth. He was covered in a pillar of flame but when it disappeared the true identity of the god man was revealed to be Chuck Norris.
Daniel Grant Christian duel wielded his magnum pistols and said in cold tone of doom
"Here I go again boys!"
Part Four: The Final War!
The Battle was on. Daniel Grant Christian did a flying upper cut into the chin of Chuck Norris only to find behind his beard was another fist. Chuck Norris then round kicked Daniel Grant Christian off the earth. He then ripped the earth in half and chucked the half of the earth at Daniel Grant Christian. Daniel Grant Christian punched though the half of the earth and walk back to earth. But Chuck Norris intercepted him and had a flaming samurai sword fight in space.
During the fight space became walruses and the stars became gummy bears.
Daniel Grant Christian used his chosen one powers to cause all suns to go supernova. There was great blinding light. That blinded K.J Roke because he was looking at it.
Daniel Grant Christian stood in space to see if Chuck Norris had survived, but all there was, was space dust.
"It is finally over!" Daniel Grant Christian said in an optimistic tune.
But then Suddenly the star dust formed to gather along with all the planets in the solar system to recreate the body of Chuck Norris only this time the size of the Galaxy.
"Not Even the Chosen One can stop me." Says Chuck Norris "I am invincible."
"This has been good hasn't it. Then it is time for me to fulfill the prophecy then" said I "And this is where I Connor Ryan, he who first died when Josh bet me to death with my own arm because I would share my sandwich. I am also the narrator. But I digress. I fly with my mega bomb and it goes off recasting the Big Bang and resetting creation only by destroying Nicholas Anthony Nagher in any form from existing.
Epilogue: The Final Ending!
After the end of the Time Crisis Da Gang went on to have happy souls.
Peter Rovira and Ruby what-her-name were tasked with populating all the planets in space.
Marcus now owns the playboy mansion and has sense moved it to the moon. The only rule there is now to only wear a sombrero.
Colin Eden lead an army of bears to cause the bear revolution to overthrow the Soviet Reunion.
Liz "Lizard" Richardson now own Microsoft after she killed Bill Gates in fight to death on television.
I.R.M.A.N.I C.H.O.P.I.N returned to Jupiter and freed her people from the saucer Nazis.
Hunter Stevens invents a super cult that becomes the one world order on the planet Mars.
Josh Culver dies and goes to Vallhall where his soul continually fights and feeds for all eternity.
Will Jones and the ghost of Christian Bale make peace with the great white shark whale squid of Atari seven, destroyer of worlds and together create the United Federation of Planets.
Jenny Jordan becomes a dark wizard and threatens to turn all the world into zombies if J.K Rowling doesn't write another Harry Potter book every year.
K.J Roke lived an average life and had an average death in an average land on the not so average planet of fire and Muslims.
And Daniel Grant Christian travels the galaxy searching for adventure and stopping all matter of evil doings.
They all one day returned to the rebuilt POP luncheon courtyard. The sun was shining and the birds floated above. Peter was showing videos on Grant's I-phone which disturbed him because he has no trust for Peter. Josh had eaten Connor's sandwhich. Marcus looked up unimportant things on his I-Phone. Colin had just finished explaining the plot of the game Prototype. There was no to listen to moonlight sonata and where an evil knowing grin of doom!
When suddenly Daniel Grant Christian stood up wielding nothing and said in a soft half whisper.
"Here we never go again!"
The End?