A/N: The inspiration for this story is actually kinda funny: My friend hates Resident Evil and Black Rock Shooter with a fiery passion, so, on a whim, I started to write this, just to piss him off. By the time I began to write the 9th chapter, I realized that this story was actually progressing successfully to the point where I (at that moment in time) considered publishing it here.

So I did.

And, if by some ungodly MIRACLE, you are reading this, dude. BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY! MWAHAHAHAHA!

The sands of the Nevada desert stretched for miles without end. Not that it mattered to a lone figure standing atop a particularly larger dune. She just followed the pull her instincts were directing her, without a second thought.

Trudging down the side of the dune, she walked in silence, her path set to the southwest. Plenty of daylight left to burn, so she'd get several miles underfoot before setting her camp for the night.

An hour later, a barely audible sound caught her ears. Faint popping sounds, some repetitively fast chattering, some slower, spontaneous sounds...

Gunfire.

Smirking, she immediately began striding in the direction she could hear the gunfire, her long brown duster trailing behind her.

By the time she'd reached the site of the battle, she wasn't surprised to see a massive group of zombies swarming around what appeared to be a camp of vehicles, dozens upon dozens of armed survivors shooting at the zombies as they attacked at random.

With her objective clear, the woman reached beneath her duster and withdrew two kukris before charging directly into the nearest group of feasting zombies.

With ease, she decapitated three of them before they even sensed she was there. Before the remaining two could react, she impaled her kukris through their foreheads, wrenching them free with a grunt before charging towards her next targets; two zombies that were chasing after a young blonde teen, screaming loudly as she sprinted as fast as she could.

Inches from grabbing her, she stabbed them through the necks, then twisted her blades viciously, pulling them free as the girl turned and gawked at her for a moment, their gazes locked.

"Who..." The girl only managed to speak one word before the woman sprinted away, leaving the two zombie corpses in her wake. "...Are you...?" The girl finished her question after the woman sliced apart another passing zombie on her way to save another survivor.

Amidst the gunfire and screaming, the woman's sensitive ears caught the sound of a commanding female voice barking orders to the others. She glanced in the direction it was coming from, and saw a fiery redhead with an M4 dictating the flow of the defense.

So she's their leader... The woman thought to herself before continuing with her slaughter of the zombies remaining in the camp.

By the time she had tracked down the last surviving zombie, she had barely broken a light sweat. With a swift kick to the temple, she knocked the zombie's head right from their shoulders, causing it to land at the feet of the redhead woman several feet away.

"What the hell are you thinking?! Are you insane?!" The redhead woman exclaimed, jumping back from the severed head, ignoring the fact that this new woman just KICKED it off the zombie's body without any issue. She was more concerned by the fact this woman was drenched with blood, none of which was her own. "You'll get infected with all that blood!"

"No, I'm fine. Been doing this for years." The woman with the kukris replied, her voice quite low. "Trust me... I'm fine."

"Well... at least clean yourself off, so we're not paranoid... If you want to join our convoy, that is..." The redhead woman had a strange expression on her face; a mixture of hopeful and embarrassed.

"...Fine." The woman sheathed her dual kukris onto her lower back. "But I need names. Who's the blonde girl behind you? I saved her earlier."

"That's K-Mart. My name is Claire. Claire Redfield. What's your name?" The redhead put her M4 up onto her shoulder as she glanced at the blonde girl beside her.

"Alice."

"Well, follow me. You need to get cleaned up." Claire jerked her head to have Alice join her. "After you're finished, hop into the Hummer. We were getting ready to leave when the zombies arrived."

Alice followed Claire to a barn nearby, then handed over a bottle of vodka, which made Alice raise an eyebrow at the Russian booze.

"We ran out of soap, and this is surprisingly effective." Claire replied sheepishly.

"I'm more concerned with where you were hiding it." Alice took the vodka and was amused to find that the cap was already opened.

"I had a shot earlier, but I just shoved it into my back pocket when we were attacked." Claire blushed slightly before remembering the reason they were talking in the first place. "Better clean yourself up, I'll be waiting in the Hummer."

Leaving the barn, Claire stopped at the entrance with her hand on the door frame when Alice called her name. "You want the bottle back when I'm finished?" She asked cheekily.

Claire shouldered her M4 as she glanced back at Alice with a smirk. "Join me for a drink tonight... okay?"

"Is that a date?" Alice teased as she shrugged off her duster to get rid of the blood.

"Maybe... maybe not. It's just a drink." Claire replied before leaving Alice to smirk and continue cleaning herself up.

By the time she'd finished removing the infected blood from her body, Alice was quite surprised to find that the pocket sized bottle was still close to full, even after her 'bath'. With a shrug, she shoved it back into her pocket, for the time being until her... Date with Claire, later that night.

Miles away from the budding romance, another female traveler was staring into the distance of the desert. Unlike Alice, however, they were only carrying a single katana on her hip. But, similar to Alice, they wore a long duster - a black one.

With intense blue eyes, her face was expressionless, seemingly devoid of any possible emotion as she descended her lofty sand dune perch and rested her hand on the grip of her blade as she walked.

Within minutes, she caught sight of three shambling zombies ahead of her in the blowing sands. They hadn't noticed her presence yet, so she tightened her grip as she sprinted towards her targets.

In the blink of an eye, she had decapitated all three zombies in a fluid graceful movement. She wiped her katana blade clean before smoothly sheathing it once again on her hip. She walked away without even batting an eyelash, leaving her latest kills to continue rotting in the sands.

"So tell me... Where did you get the name K-Mart?" Alice peered at the young blonde sitting in the front passenger seat beside Claire, who was driving at the front of the whole convoy.

"From K-Mart." The teen quipped before smirking. "No, seriously. I was hiding inside of a K-Mart store when Claire and the convoy found me. The name just stuck ever since then."

"Cute." Alice smirked, amused by the simple story. "And here I was thinking you took out a whole store's worth of zombies in a K-Mart all by yourself."

"Non-combatant." Claire indicated K-Mart with her thumb. "Never touched a gun before. Right, K?"

K-Mart's slight embarrassment made Alice smile to herself before rejoining the conversation. "What about a blade?"

"I'm sorry?" Claire and K-Mart were shocked by Alice's sharp alternative combat method.

"Blades. Machetes, kukris, katanas... knives? y'know, sharp things... stabby things." Alice explained, pulling out a switchblade from her duster pocket to prove her point, snapping it open with a distinctive click.

"No, god no!" K-Mart visibly shuddered at the thought of getting within grappling range of a zombie - willingly - just to kill it with a knife. Too much risk for too little reward. She'd rather shoot it from a safe distance and move on with her day. "A bullet will almost always kill a zombie, but blades don't."

"Not true." Alice hummed. "I killed 178 zombies in the last two days alone. Guess how many times I swung my blades?"

"178?" K-Mart guessed, clearly thinking of the 'one shot, one kill' method.

"Try 150 swings." Alice smirked. "Double kills." She added when K-Mart started to use her fingers to calculate the contradiction.

"Exactly how many blades do you carry on you, Alice?" Claire spoke up from the driver seat, sounding curious.

"Five." Alice replied as she folded her switchblade and held it up for Claire to see in the rear-view mirror. "One switchblade, two kukris, and two combat knives."

With each revelation, Alice unsheathed each and every blade she carried, showing them to Claire in the rear-view mirror each time. All her blades were extremely sharp, but appeared to be well worn from heavy usage. Not surprising, since it seemed to be her only fighting method.

"What about a gun? Do you even have a pistol?" Claire asked, sounding slightly amused.

"Yup. Rarely use it though." Alice reached under her right arm - revealing that she was likely left handed - and withdrew a nickle plated M1911a1 from a hidden shoulder holster. "Carried this during the shitstorm in Raccoon City with it's twin... but I lost the other one during my escape from the nuke."

"You survived Raccoon City?" Claire glanced directly at Alice in mild disbelief. "Sounds like you used them more then, than you do now."

"To be honest... I only fired the pistols, like... Once. Simultaneously. After that, I just had them on me while I fought with a knife and a police baton."

"Broke the baton at some point?" K-Mart suddenly asked, looking at Alice's array of blades spread out on her lap.

"I shoved it up some bandit's ass when him and his group tried to rape me about a month ago." Alice replied, soundly just a little bit smug about it. "Fucker was too stupid to realize that I'm a proud lesbian." Alice crossed her arms over her chest, her expression smoothly matching her smug tone.

Claire instantly started coughing. K-Mart, however, burst into laughter. Their polar opposite reactions left Alice staring at them in utter confusion.

"What?" Alice shot them both glares.

K-Mart stopped laughing, gasping for breath as she turned to face Alice with tears in her eyes. "Claire is a lesbian too!"

"K-MART!" Claire exclaimed, her face turning a brilliant crimson from embarrassment.

"Oh..." Alice spoke quietly, barely above a whisper before her face switched to a sinister smirk. "So it IS a date after all..." She held up the vodka bottle to further prove her point in case Claire tried to deny it.

"Fine! It's a fucking date! HAPPY?!" Claire barked, her grip on the steering wheel visibly tightening.

"Actually... Yes. Yes I am." Alice replied, pocketing the bottle once again. "Wake me up if you need anything."

With that, Alice closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat, clearly planning to sleep for the remainder of the drive.

"What's this? You two are going on a date? Seriously?!" K-Mart was oddly excited at their planned date together. "But what's in that bottle she had?"

"Vodka." Alice spoke without opening her eyes, clearly not asleep yet. "I'm just hanging onto it for Claire. It's actually hers, not mine." She smirked suddenly. "But I'm more of a wine girl, to be honest. Not that I can't hold my liquor."

"I though you were sleeping." Claire spoke up, trying to focus on the road and ignore their combined teasing.

"Falling asleep isn't instantaneous, you know." Alice smirked as she opened one eye to tease Claire further. "But I know ways to put someone to sleep in seconds."

Claire's jaw clenched tightly as she locked her gaze to the road ahead. Just her luck, when she finally found a woman she liked, the woman was a huge fucking cock teaser. Why can't Alice just shut up and accept her advances without embarrassing her every time she opened her mouth?

Alice, however, was happily enjoying tormenting Claire. In her experiences, partners who reacted like Claire would often times get her on their last nerve before suddenly giving into their desires, showing her just whose boss in the relationship. In other words... angry sex, and a lot of it.

And Alice liked that.

By evening, the black clad girl had traveled for almost forty miles, arriving at a small motel. Without bothering to check the rest of the rooms, she entered the first room on the second floor and closed the door behind her, flopping down onto the dusty bed. Her katana gripped in both hands, she rolled onto her side, falling asleep from exhaustion almost immediately.

After driving for most of the day - and being bombarded by Alice's constant teasing - Claire finally pulled into a fair sized motel to stop for the night. She ordered for a team - including Alice, just to get that damn woman out of her hair for a bit - to search the rooms for zombies and supplies.

With a knowing smile, Alice unsheathed her kukris and climbed out of the Hummer, leaving the fuming redhead alone for the time being. She immediately sensed a presence in three of the rooms - two on the upper floor, and one in the door nearest to her.

"There's only three here. You guys take this room. I'll take the other two upstairs." Alice ordered, pointing her kukri at the 'occupied' motel room.

"Fine. But be careful." One of the team reminded her as he clicked his pistol's hammer back.

Alice's gaze momentarily glanced at his face, unsure as to why they agreed without questioning her instinctive knowledge, but then she strode to a rickety metal staircase, which creaked dangerously the moment her full weight was on it. She glanced down warily as she took another step, tensed for the imminent collapse of the rusted metal.

Step. Creak~. Wait... Step. Creak~. Wait... Step...

CRASH!

With barely a split second to react, Alice launched herself straight at the upper ledge, her kukris skidding ahead of her arms as she hung from the balcony for a moment.

"Alice!" Claire's horrorified voice called from somewhere behind her, but Alice hauled herself up and laid on her back for a moment to catch her breath. "Alice! Are you okay?!

"Fine! Stairs broke. I'm up here!" She waved her arm over her head as she stood up. "I'll just jump down when I'm finished. There's two zombies up here."

"Where?!" Claire called, obviously reaching for her M4.

"Inside the room behind me, and the fourth one down. Just give me a minute to clear them out." Alice called back as she retrieved her kukris and strode right past the nearest inhabited room, kicking down the fourth door viciously before slashing her kukri into the zombie's head and pulled it free.

Spinning on her heel, Alice returned to the room on the end, which was surprisingly still silent. Considering the falling staircase, kicking the door down, and all their yelling, the presence inside this room was still unresponsive.

Sheathing one kukri, Alice flexed her fingers on the grip as she slowly turned the doorknob, finding it unlocked...

With a crash, the door was pulled open, dragging her inside as a blade flashed through the air towards her neck. Quickly deflecting the slash, Alice released the doorknob and reached for her other kukri, immediately going into attack mode.

With their blades locked, even for such a brief second, Alice got a good look at the girl trying to kill her. Blue eyes, long black hair, emotionless expression, and extremely pale white skin. But the girl tried another slash, which Alice blocked with her second kukri, swinging her first in an attempt to gain some distance between them.

With amazing speed, the girl deflected her strike, stepping back of her own accord, allowing Alice to take in her attire; a long black duster, knee high boots, and short black shorts with a few pouches on her belt, as well as a black bikini top in place of a shirt. To top off her unusual attire, she also had two massive scars, one on her hip and the other on the side of her ribs.

"You're good with that katana. It's refreshing to see another swordswoman in this wild west of gunslingers." Alice commented as they clashed blades several times. "Or are you just using this because it was the first weapon you grabbed?"

"Swordswoman?" The girl stepped back, lowering her blade to her side. "You dare call a Ronin something so shameless and dishonourable?"

"Ronin? What, like a masterless samurai? You got a name, kiddo?" Alice sheathed her kukris and offered her hand for the girl to shake.

Since Alice was offering her hand to shake, the girl's gaze immediately scanned Alice for another weapon, then back at the offered hand before sheathing her katana on her hip.

"Black Rock Shooter." The girl replied, taking in Alice slightly similar appearance to her own; knee high boots, duster, belt of pouches, and light clothes. "And yours, swordswoman?"

"Alice. If you don't mind me asking... Do you have another name? That's quite a mouthful." Alice lowered her hand, since this girl clearly wasn't going to shake it.

"I have no other name... But, for simplicity, call me one of them. Any will do." Black Rock Shooter glanced out the door suddenly when footsteps approached. "Hostiles?"

"No, I'm part of a larger group. A mobile convoy, we're stopping at this motel for the night after driving all day." Alice explained as the barrel of an M4 slowly pushed the door open, revealing Claire at the other end of the assault rifle. "You'd do better joining us instead of going at it alone. That's Claire, leader of the convoy, and my... partner."

Claire chose to disregard Alice's last cheeky comment as she lowered her rifle to examine the sword wielding girl beside Alice. A few seconds later, Claire offered her hand to Black Rock Shooter.

"Got a name, kid?" Claire asked, noticing the icy stare the girl was giving her offered hand. "Okay, handshakes are out... But seriously, kid. Name."

"Black Rock Shooter." Black Rock Shooter repeated her unique name, then glanced at Alice. "She has a gun." She pointed out flatly, but Alice detected disdain in her monotonous voice.

"I'm the only blade user in our convoy. Everyone else uses guns, sadly." Alice explained.

"Hmph." Was all that Black Rock Shooter said before walking out of the room to see the rest of their supposed group for herself.

With Black Rock Shooter being antisocial, Claire heaved a sigh as she sat on the edge of the bed, clearly slept in by Black Rock Shooter. "Quite the name."

"She said we can butcher her name. I say we just call her whichever one she responds to. Seems easiest." Alice shrugged, out of ideas.

"And she's got that ninja sword too..." Claire's gaze was on the open door, where Black Rock Shooter's katana sheath could slightly be seen.

"Katana." Alice corrected her. "So, kiddo... What do you think of your new group?" She called out the room, to which Black Rock Shooter's monotonous voice instantly replied.

"Not a whole lot."

"Woman of few words." Claire smirked, then glanced at Alice for a moment. "Got time for that drink?"

"Hey... How old are you?" Alice asked, since Black Rock Shooter appeared to be in her late teens, clearly old enough to be out on her own... But what about old enough to drink booze?

"Does it really matter anymore?" Black Rock Shooter replied. "Nineteen."

"Well, I was wondering if you would care to join us for a drink? I promised Claire I'd have one with her... So why not join us?" Alice held up the vodka bottle, to which Black Rock Shooter returned to the doorway for a moment, staring at the liquid inside.

"What type of alcohol is that?" Black Rock Shooter asked, eyeing the bottle with a hint of suspicion in her eyes. "It clearly isn't water."

"Vodka." Alice replied, removing the cap and offering it to Claire. "Last chance. Want to join us? Might be fun~!"

Black Rock Shooter hesitated for the tiniest second, then decided to join them. Alice seemed to be the more entertaining of the pair, while Claire seemed to be the more mature one, hence her status as group leader. She sat down against the side of the bed, on the floor. She accepted the bottle from Claire after she'd taken a drink from it, coughing a bit.

Raising the bottle to her lips, Black Rock Shooter took a sip, cringing against the harsh burn of the alcohol as it went down her throat. It also smelled disgusting, quite like insect repellant.

Laughing slightly to herself, Alice took the bottle from Black Rock Shooter, who was visibly showing her lack of drinking experience, judging by the way her eyes were watering. Knocking back a mouthful of the booze, Alice held it out to Claire, then spoke. "First time drinking, eh?"

With a meek nod of her head, Black Rock Shooter reached down to her belt and removed her katana, placing it against the nearby nightstand as she relaxed with the two older women.

"Well, just like I was taught; get hammered on your first time, then do it again as soon as possible. Build up a resistance so you can hold your liquor later on." Claire grabbed the bottle from Alice, halfway to her mouth. She took a swig, then pointedly handed the bottle to Black Rock Shooter. "C'mon. Drink."

Obeying, Black Rock Shooter took yet another swig of the vodka, once again burning her throat as it went down. Like her first sip, she cringed, coughing slightly as Alice plucked the bottle from her grasp, laying across the bed on her side.

"So, where are you from?" Alice asked, clearly the most resistant to the alcohol of the three as she took a large swig from the bottle.

Black Rock Shooter didn't answer, her face suddenly gloomy. She took the now half empty bottle from Alice and took a much larger drink than previously. It was obvious she didn't want to talk about it.

"Easy! Save some for us too!" Claire chuckled, taking the bottle from Black Rock Shooter with a smile. "I think you're gonna pass out at the rate you're going."

Alice laughed quietly, her gaze switching between Claire and Black Rock Shooter idly, listening to their small talk. They slowed down with consuming the vodka, but they continued chatting about whatever topic that arose for another half hour, until they were all finally at the point to be considered 'drunk.'

"Alice, I lovvvve yooou..." Claire slurred her words slightly, her eyes unfocused as she crawled onto the bed beside Alice, who was sprawled out on her back, grinning from ear to ear. Black Rock Shooter was leaning back, her eyes half closed as the two older women stared at each other from inches apart, Claire on her hands and knees above Alice, who had suddenly stopped grinning like an idiot.

They were both stone still for barely a heartbeat, then Claire's flushed face dropped down, kissing Alice passionately, her hands holding Alice down by the shoulders as Alice's strong arms wrapped around her back.

A/N: So, to clarify...

BECAUSE FUCK YOU DUDE! HAHAHAHA!

But in all seriousness, leave a review, let me know what you think. Y'know, the usual stuff you do to a good fanfic. R&R :D